195.44.224.141 writes:

Last time: Dancer, Lisa, Cobra, Sorceress, Troia, Yo, and Lisette had all been transported to Frammistat Eight in the Buffoon Quadrant of a distant galaxy as prisoners of the vile Slimy Slaver LoveToad of Frammistat Eight. Will they escape his loathsome clutches or will they end their days working in Eros Comix?

The scene: The girls of the BZL look around in shock and dismay as they find themselves teleported into the harem of the Slimy Slaver LoveToad. A number of vast and incredibly fat Rupert Murdoch-lookalike eunuchs lumber forward to place obedience shackles upon them.

Cobra (demonstrating that even eunuchs have vulnerable bits when you have a Banana Gun and sink plunger): I do not think you want to do that.

Lisa: You’re certainly not wanting to do it any more.

Slimy Slaver LoveToad: There is no escape! You will be mine! Mine!

Cobra: Is he related to CrazySugarFreakBoy!?

Yo (conjuring Zorro rapier from thin air and carving letter Y on eunuch after only four failed attempts on four other unlucky eunuchs: Yo is thinking that this is not a nice place, uncute Slimy Slaver LoveToad! Yo is going to remonstrate with you about this.

Troia 215: Good job I brought my filing spear with me. (Uses filing spear)

Dancer: Er, why do you need a spear to do filing?

Troia: You’d be amazed how little filing you get to do when you have a filing spear with you..

Dancer: Sorceress, can you possibly magic us home?

Sorceress, failing to change a eunuch into a frog but making him think that he’s frog, which is far more embarrassing: Er, with a bit more practise, possibly.

Lisette: How much more practise exactly?

Sorceress: Say about five thousand years or so?

Lisa: So you’re saying we’ve been transported across the galaxy to… to…

LoveToad of Frammistat Eight, helpfully: Frammistat Eight.

Lisa: …to Frammistat Eight, with no means of getting home except co-operating with this vile LoveToad, surrendering to the depraved lusts of his twisted, passion-crazed court in lavicious raptures which go on, and on, writhing and bucking until we can only scream in animal heat?

Dancer: You have got to go back to decaf, Lisa.

Lisette: She’s on decaf. You should see her on a caffeine high. (All shudder)

Slimy Slaver LoveToad: But she’s right. Struggle all you want, my lovelies. Eventually you will have to yield to me.

Cobra, menacingly: Or your successor.

Lisa: I vote for the yielding.

Dancer: Or you could summons Goldeneyed to teleport us home, Lisa.

Lisa, scowling: Well, yes, I could do that if I have to *mutter*

Yo: Yo is running low on eunuchs.

Lisette: Bring on some men and Cobra will make some more for you.

Sorceress: Are you going to summon G-Eyed and Hatty then, Lisa?

Lisette: Hatman? Why do we need him?

Sorceress: We don’t but he’s just so sweet he makes your toes curl.

[Cobra is sick on a eunuch.]

Lisa (straining): There is some kind of force field which is stopping me using my powers. Back to the surrendering our bodies plan, ladies.

LoveToad: Our technology is far beyond your pathetic capabilities. I shall now laugh an evil laugh of triumph.

Dancer: Not so fast Slimy Slaver LoveToad! Are you saying that there is no chance that your force fields and other advanced technology might not choose just this moment to undergo a catastrophic and massively destructive implosion?

Slimy Slaver LoveToad: The chances are less than a million to one!

Dancer, dancing and using her probability-altering power: The one is all it needs.

[Sounds of grinding, then a ping, then explosions. You know how this works]

Lisa: I summons Goldeneyed.

G-Eyed: Aaagh! Where has the public lavatory gone?!! Er, hello, ladies.

Yo: Yo is thinking cute G-Eyed’s costume is needing adjusting.

Lisette: Yes. And from what I can see he is not a patch on my boyfriend Bryan.

Dancer: Can you teleport us all home please?

G-Eyed, having hastily replaced costume but regretting the lack of a hand-towel: Sure. I’ll have to do it one at a time with a rest in between since it is such a long way, but I will do it eventually. Lisette’s last.

Lisa: I can keep summonsing him back as many times as it takes.

G-Eyed: Oh good.

Slimy Slaver LoveToad, feeling that as the villain of the story he should be getting more attention: Hey! You are forgetting about me and my army of eunuch women-tamers.

Cobra: What army?

Sorceress: They all seem to be having a rest just now.

Lisette: Except for the ones in casualty.

Dancer: Well LoveToad, you bought me fair and square at the slave auction and I said I would do you a dance. How do you like this high kick? (Nasty crunch sound effect)

LoveToad: urrrrrrrrrrkkkkkkkkkkkk!!!!!!!!!

Lisa, slightly disappointedly: And that is that. Another case closed. But what are we going to do with the three hundred alien slaves we have just saved in this harem?

Dancer: There is only one thing to do. We have to have a benefit event to raise funds to help them.

Lisa, Troia, Cobra, Sorceress, Yo, Lisette: Aaaaaaaaaagggggggghhhhhhhh!!!!!


Dancer