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This message Dancer #31: The Superheroine Slumber Party was posted by Dancer (via HH). Males of a... sensitive disposition may not want to read this episode. on Monday, January 21, 2002 at 13:34.
Dancer #31: The Superheroine Slumber Party
[The Scene: Sarah Shepherdson’s loft apartment above the Bean and Donut Coffee Bar. The Occasion: Dancer’s Slumber Party. Let’s listen in on the conversation…]
Ziles: It was really kind of Sarah to lend you this place while she was out of town for the weekend…
Dancer: Ah, well, she owed me a favour. So are you still sleeping in Finny’s bedroom…?
Cobra: So I said to him, “Let’s see you dislodge that banana…
Valeria: What is this fizzy stuff? It makes my nose tickle.
Lisette: You really are from another dimension, aren’t you?
Troia 215: So I said to him, “Let’s see you dislodge that spear…"
Sorceress: …in nothing but a Bulls hat, I swear it!
[Phone rings]
Dancer: Shepherdson residence. Oh, hi Cheryl! Have you changed your mind and decided to come over? It’s just getting good. The pizza firm rang up a while back asking if they could have their delivery guy’s trousers back.
Valeria: I did not understand that the food courier must forswear his garments if he takes more than thirty minutes.
Lisette: Oh, yeah, everyone knows that. But only if he’s cute.
Sorceress: However, it should be understood that this was in fun. There was no need to pin him to the wall and dislocate his shoulder, Cobra.
Cobra: I am not sure what the point of the exercise was, then. Why are we here if not to hone our tactical skills and discuss tactics?
Troia 215: That’s not really what Twister is about.
Dancer, still on phone: No, Lisa couldn’t make it, otherwise it wouldn’t have stopped at the guy’s pants... Yes, I know it saves on tips… Sorry you couldn’t get away, but I know you don’t like to leave Vizh alone in the house with matches. Oh, gotta go, Sorcy’s about to do fortune telling!
Ziles: Oh no! Two things I got warned about when I joined the LL. Never let Whitney tell your fortunes and never let Lisa choose the party forfeits.
Sorceress, smiling wickedly as she shakes a Scrabble bag: This isn’t exactly fortune telling, ladies. This is just a little divination to give us a clue to the man of your dreams. Just pick a letter, any letter…
Lisette: OK, I’m game.
Cobra: That is what is rumoured, yes.
Lisette: Hmm. It’s a B. B for Bry. This isn’t a fix, is it Whitney?
Dancer: Well, they do call her the Sorceress. Do you think that might be some kind of clue?
Valeria: If I pull a tile do I have to forfeit my immortal soul?
Sorceress: Hon, anything you forfeit is entirely between you and somebody with a name beginning with letter… E.
Valeria: *blushes*
Cobra: This is ridiculous. It means nothing. [Chooses tile anyway] See. It is blank.
Dancer: Better than mine. Why did I get three X’s in a row?
Lisette: Dunno, but you’re going to get lots of points if you work them all together.
Troia, fishing in the bag: Nope, not that one. Nope. Nope. Nope. Ah, D. Yesss!
Ziles: No, I don’t think this is for me… Oh, alright, if it makes you happy. *sigh* It’s a D.
Troia: As in Dragon… Dean…
Dancer, mischievously: Dark Knight…
Lisette: We never did hear what happened when you and Finny had to go into that bedroom and save the world together.
Ziles: ……..
Dancer, diplomatically: More drinks, folks?
[*sound of garbage cans clattering in the back alley*]
Cobra, pulling banana gun: What is that?
Dancer, with a nasty smile: Hmmm. Sounds like an archer, a CrazySugarHero! and a hunchback finding that the drainpipe outside our window has improbably become loosened, and then falling down into yesterday’s foetid zucchini.
Troia: Life is good.
Sorceress: So, Troia, this quest for a D… is this a big D?
Troia: Maybe. I don’t know what you’re talking about.
Valeria: Perhaps she is referring to your amour for the hemigod of thunder Donar, for whom you were asking me those questions about the Immortal Karma Sutra and the three hundred and twelve positions for satisfying supernatural beings?
Troia, choking: Val! That was a private conversation! *blushes* Cheez!
Valeria: Ah, I have misunderstood the social setting once more. I am sorry.
Dancer: Nah, not really, Val. Nothing wrong with a little girl talk.
Cobra: But after a while one really hopes for a surprise supervillain attack.
Dancer: Right. Anyway, it’s QUESTION time.
Lisette: Cheez! Is it that late already? We’d all better get some sleep, gals.
Dancer: But the QUESTION…
Sorceress: Come on, ladies, how bad can the QUESTION be?
Troia: You have heard her questions, right? Like the one about whether you’d have sex to save the planet.
Ziles: NOTHING HAPPENED!!! Er, I mean, no, I don’t recall that question.
Dancer: So, the QUESTION. What’s the BEST kiss you’ve ever had?
Sorceress: Easy. Jay and I swimming in the ocean, and him trying not to notice I’m not wearing a swimsuit, and suddenly we’re in each other’s arms.
Valeria: Oh, that is so romantic! But weren’t your everyday clothes awfully damp and uncomfortable in all that water?
Lisette: She’s so innocent. Well there have been a few occasions for me, but I guess Bry under the influence of Dr Loveray kind of sticks out.
Dancer: That’s what I heard, too.
Ziles: *chokes on coca cola*
Cobra, crossly: This is a futile activity. We are not mere sexual playthings for males, exchanging vapid comparisons of lovers.
Dancer: So who was year best kiss from then, Cobra? I hear that CSFB! has a supernaturally long tongue.
Cobra: It is certainly possible to knot it three times before nailing it to the wall. Believe me.
Lisette: Wow. That is kinky.
Cobra: *glares*
Valeria: What about you Ziles? What was your best kiss like?
THIS PORTION OF THE STORY EDITED ON COMPASSIONATE GROUNDS TOWARDS CERTAIN MALE POSTERS
Ziles: …and a chocolate-covered banana split sundae.
Everybody: *giggles* [except Cobra. Cobra does not do the g-word. At least not on the first date]
Sorceress: And you, Dancer? What is your answer to the QUESTION?
Dancer: Hmm, tough one.
Ziles: Tough one? You mean Messenger?
Dancer: No, I mean it’s difficult.
Lisette: Difficult. Ah, Con Johnstantine.
Dancer: Not difficult like that. Awkward.
Cobra: Awkward? ManMan then.
Dancer: No. Awkward as in hard.
Cobra: Not ManMan then.
Dancer: I mean there are lots of options.
Valeria. Oh. The Hooded Hood!
Dancer: I AM NOT LISA, DAMMIT! I mean it’s hard to pick just one.
Sorceress: And you say you’re not Lisa. Hmmm.
Dancer: I just can’t choose, that’s all. Maybe I just haven’t had the perfect kiss yet.
Lisette: Ah. You can’t answer your QUESTION then.
Dancer: I didn’t say that, I just…
Sorceress: That means you have to do the forfeit.
Dancer: No, I just need time to…
Valeria: Must she do a forfeit? Oh, poor Dancer! And where will we get branding irons at this time of night?
Lisette: I think we’re into cultural differences again here, Val.
Ziles: Yep. All it means is that Dancer has to… um…
Cobra, malevolently: Kiss the man who will give her the perfect kiss.
Dancer: What?
Lisette, Val, Sorcy, Ziles: Oh, yes.
Dancer: No! Er, who were you thinking of.
*Group huddle*
Sorceress: Okay Dancer, this is what you have to do…
[To be continued in the Dancer Romance Week Valentine Special, due out sometime on or around Valentine’s Day if Shep can write it by then.]
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