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Dancery/Finny Valentine's Special #7 - The Hooded Hood Posted #6 Before I Could was made by Hatman on 2/18/2003 at 7:07:05 PM.

“Gah!” exclaimed Fin Fang Foom. The Makluan dragon found himself lying on a patch of rather uncomfortable ground, surrounded by yet even more uncomfortable ground. His gaze rose higher, discovering the not very pleasant sky. He wasn’t pleased.

“What happened?” asked Ziles, as she brushed the dirt from her skintight silver bodysuit. This improved the not very pleasant scenery considerably.

“I’m not sure. We were in the SHAGship, then Dancer, Yo, spiffy, and some homeless guy-”

“That was dull thudd,” chimed in Ziles.

“Oh, sorry. …dull thud, show up, and next thing I know I’m stressing out and we end up here,” finished Finny.

“Wait a minute…when people undergo extreme stress in a Round Robin in the Parodyverse, don’t they usually go to the Happy Place?” asked Ziles, not having been around the Legion during the early days of the Parodyverse.

“Usually. But…no, it can’t be,” mulled the dragon.

“What! What is it?” asked the Xynlonian.

“From what I remember, this looks a lot more like the UnHappy Place than the Happy Place.” Suddenly, a small furry form leapt from the bushes and sank its teeth into the dragons tail. Unfortunately for it, and fortunately for Finny, Makluan scales are extremely tough. Finny picked up his assailant between two claws.

“It looks like a bunny,” Ziles observed.

“Yes it does. But look at it’s teeth.”

“They’re pointed.”

“Exactly. Only rabbits in the UnHappy Place have fangs. Somehow we ended up in the UnHappy Place instead of the Happy Place,” said Finny.

“This is all spiffy’s fault,” grumbled Ziles.

* * * * *

“Umm, Enty, slight problem,” said Lisa, currently stuck in the lapine form of a bunny rabbit, said into her communicard. ‘It’s gone.”

“What’s gone?” he asked over what sounded like a shower of sparks.

“The Happy Place Conduit thingamajig. It’s…wait, there it is!” she exclaimed. Amidst a large gathering of he-bunnies lay the Conduit. Normally this wouldn’t bother Lisa, as it gave her an excellent excuse to wade in their and retrieve it…amongst other things. However, all of the he-bunnies were ignoring her and…focusing…on each other. An honor guard of sorts surrounded the Conduit, barring access to it.

“So if you see it, just go and get it,” suggested NTU helpfully.

“I don’t know. It might be tricky.” Lisa explained the situation to the inventor.

“I am sooo glad the picture is shorted out on the communicard right now, “ shuddered Enty. “Never, ever, use that much detail again. Just go and get the Conduit any way possible.”

“And me without my Cool Whip,” sighed Lisa. She then looked at her paws. “Or the hands to open it.”

* * * * *


The Chronicler awoke from his meditative state in a cold sweat. The Ravens of Destiny around him squawked and fluttered around in alarm. Jury walked into the room to see what all the commotion was about.

“What’s wrong?” she asked.

“The very fabric of the Parodyverse has been altered.” The Chronicler closed his eyes, reviewing narratives mentally in his mind. “I can’t believe this.”

“What?!” demanded Jury. She had been having a delightful fantasy about rending the Hooded Hood limb from limb, with soft candlelight by an open fire, and had not wanted to be disturbed.

“Somehow with all of his infernal tinkering, NTU-150 has changed the very dimensional laws of the Parodyverse. An individual under extreme duress can no longer reach the Happy Place. They are instead transferred to…the UnHappy Place!”

Jury concentrated and focused in on the current narrative. “And when spiffy and dull thudd spilled into the room, they startled Fin Fang Foom and Ziles, sending them to the UnHappy Place. And the only way out of the UnHappy Place is…”

“Unspeakable,” shuddered the Chronicler. He remembered what the Dark Knight and spiffy had done the last time to escape.

"Wait...if dull thudd is involved in your current narrative...and the sub-plot that I began involves him as well...how is this possible?"

"The Hooded Hood, no doubt. He arranged for two chapters to begin at the same time, thus allowing dull thudd to be in two places at once."

“Well, this is quite a pickle,” observed the Shaper.

“And as usual, it’s all spiffy’s fault,” muttered the Chronicler.

“What about NTU? He altered the very dimensional laws and all?”

“spiffy is intrinsically involved in the current narrative. One dimensional law that NTU can never alter is that is it always spiffy’s fault.”

“So how is this spiffy‘s fault?”

“Had spiffy not gotten involved with the plot concerning his fern and Cressida, there was only a 37% probability that the Hooded Hood would have thought up the same plot. Without spiffy and dull thudd on the SHAGship, the Happy Place Conduit plan would have succeeded. The delay caused by spiffy left NTU more time to do more tinkering, thus altering dimensional law, which caused the Happy and UnHappy Place cross-over, as well as dull thudd's double manifestation.”

“And thus, it is spiffy’s fault,” confirmed Jury.

“Just like the good old days.”