Posted by DONAR on April 29, 2001 at 11:36:27:
In Reply to: Dancer/Donar Spectacular #1 posted by Dancer, via The Hooded Hood, via DONAR on April 29, 2001 at 11:33:26:
Dancer/Donar Spectacular #1 Part II "And yea, verily the power of Mangrab willst topple the greatest mountain and undo the very fabric of reality...and the son of a God shalt lead them to their doom..for none may defeat the persistance of time.." ( 101 Prophesies of Ausgards Ruination, pp23-24, Second Printing ) Donar: "There! Tis as fortold. The beast doth stir neareth mine very home!" Dancer, Heineken and Dancer all rushed towards the crouching monolith. The look of destruction in his eyes betrayed his agenda. On the horizon could be seen the chariot of the Visioneery, seer of all and knower of some other stuff. His chariot, drawn by the traditional Beavers of All-knowing thundered towards the two Gods and the young Sarah...eventually...Badgers aren't really well known for their speed, or their ability to pull old guys in chariots. [ Only 27 minutes later ] Visioneery: "Tis most wonderous to see thee, Oldmanson...how hast thou been?" Donar: "I art fine, seer...telleth me, how do we engage.." Visioneery: "And thy Mother Gail...she art well?" In the close distance, Donar's house loses the East wing courtesy of a big angry Mangrab. Donar: "Uh...pray, could thy enquiries be put aside for the nonce, friend Seer? Wouldst seem mine home art being demolished.." Visioneery. "What?" Donar. "Mine house. Tis getting the crappeth kicked out of it." Dancer: "Donar! Look!" Mangrab, having tired of Donar's hounds barking at him, and biting his heels, decides to make a Donar shaped hole in most of Ausgard entire. Picking the God up by the feet, he throws him through several walls, before he comes to rest in a large pile of quite painful rubble. Donar. "Methinks OW art in order." Heineken. "Army! Attack!!" Heineken's forces charge forth at the lumbering beast. While they make progress, it seems their stamina leaves something to be desired. For every hit that connects with Mangrab, several soldiers sit on the sidelines catching their breath. Visioneery:" Did he not read the damned prophesy? I didst TRY to warneth him...none may persist in attack against one drawing on the power of time itself." Dancer:" What? What's his power again? I havent had a line for a while and took a quick nap.." Visioneery: "His powercenter art the unfinished tales of the entire Parodyverse". Donar wanders up somewhat bruised: So..Even if he art being powered by mine unfinished tales alone, he couldst be here breakingeth shit for the next twelve years... Visioneery: "You must defeat him! Finish this tale, and his power shalt be blocked". Dancer:" I've got it! " THE END."" A warrior stumbles over to Donar:" Mine liege. His endurance art remarkable. We have not the enery to continue. Yet, we will die to defend the realm. E'en though none of us HAS died yet...which art odd..." Visioneery: "Not so odd..seems, he art merely baiting the hordes. Tis you he doth wish to battle prince Donar." Donar: "Aye. So mote it be..MANGRAB!!" Mangrab turns his ugle head towards the Oldmanson: "What." Donar: "You wanteth a fight? Fight me." Mangrab: "Fine." Mangrab grabs Donar ( again ) and beats his body against and then through a wall:" I should thank you for all this lovely power, Godling. Never have I seen so many thoughts not come to fruition than your mortal's mind. *SLAM* He's quite the creative one *SLAM* and quite lazy. *KRUNCH* So many Ideas..*WHAM!*..so few stories." Donar: "Thou dost exaggerate abomination. *ow* Thy words do not *ow* ring true of *ow* mine mortal's abili*ow*ties." Mangrab: "No? Remember the Star Trek Next Gen story, where you were Worf and Visz was Data? No? How about the story about your son's return to his Father? No? What about Freyda? Loose plot thread anyone?" Dancer: "Donar!! Remember!! There was another half to this story!! Use the force!" Donar:" Aye...I dost remember...ther wert coffee...and...*and idea forms in Gavan's head* HA! I doth feel a conclusion coming on, fool!" Dancer does a quick Jazz Dance routine, mixed with a little handjive...as probabilities would have it, Donar's kitchen has a Cappucino Machine ready to go. As she calls Heineken's army to her, she prepares an ENOURMOUS batch of triple mocha lattes with extra caffiene. Warrior one:" Weird power..." Warrior two:" ...coursing through my body..." Warrior three":...Do you have those little marshmallows?" Mangrab and Donar continue to struggle, Donar keeping up with the monolith's unending barrage of heavy blows....oh get out of the gutter!..."blows" meaning "big heavy punches" Mangrab:" It will not work, Godling...thou dost not truly have an ending..from this unfinished tale alone shall I destroy worlds. And even if thou dost defeat me...I have Dancer's Blackhurt tale for even MORE power!!!" Donar...So thou wouldst think...except, thou didst forget..I can do THIS! HH:" Touche, Thunderclod. So I see you came to me for help? Is that really wise?" Donar:" Tis better to go with the Devil ye knoweth at times, Hooded one. I know ye." HH sips from his still hot and ever present cup of tea: "My Demigodly friend...you've never MET 'Me'.So..." another sip of tea" ...we reach the bargain. If I do ask you've called me forth to do, what is in it for me?" Mangrab:" I tire of this. *Mangrab swings a pillar at HH, finding himself retconned only to hit himself in the head." Donar: "Thou knowest what art at stake..." HH"...That I do...very well...you WILL owe me. Do not forget this." Donar:" I doubt thou will letteth me. " Donar is suffused by retcon-energy...time wraps iself around him..space bends...he is in the Little Sisters of Mercy Orphanage Blackhurt: "I won’t forget this." Dancer: "Good. Because if I ever catch you cheating again we’ll be having this conversation over." Blackhurt: "From now on I shall we working for your utter destruction and downfall, and waiting for the day your soul is dragged.. Donar steps from the shadows: " '.. screaming into my courts.' Aye, Blackhurt, very scary." Blackhurt: "How did you know I was going to.." Donar: "..say that? Tis a tale already told, Dancer #24 to be precise. I'm afrain I cannot allow thee to disappear in a puff of smike just yet, evil one. Thy premature exit will leave Dancer at a loss for an ending she doth truly enjoy." Dancer: "It will" Donar: "Aye...so...I almost wouldst apologize, Daemon, but.." Donar grabs the back of Blackhurt's loincloth firmly, and lifts it over the top of his evil horns. Dancer: "Atomic-Wedgie. Nice." Donar: "Aye. Now seeing as mine soul can ne'er be thine to grasp, I shalt depart to mine own time and leave thee to thy humiliation." Donar is warped away to his own tale. Dancer feels a sudden surge of closure overwhelm her..and smiles, dancing with joy. "And now.." Donar continues with a grin. "To end mine own tale...come thee forth, Manbitch." "It's Mangrab" Mangrab corrects him. "Whatever." Donar replies, slamming the now-less-powerful creature into a wall. "You see, Manbitch...mine own tale has come full circle...mine father's armies art buzzing on caffiene courtesy of part I, and shalt wail on thee until thy menace art ended." Mangrab: "But..my power." "Gone." Donar relays courtesy of Mjalcolm. "Thou art finished. As am I with thee." And as the hordes of Ausgard descend upon the beast, he is gradually smited back to the nothingness from whence he came. EPILOGUE Dancer: "It was nice of you to spend the day with me Donar. And I'm glad I could help you in Ausgard. It's a nice place...and...sorry your house got wrecked." Donar: "Tis fine. Visioneery hath summoned what is left of Mangrab to rebuild it as pennance for his attitude problems. And rest well. Thy identity shalt be forgotten as soon as mine eyes do close on sleep." Dancer: "Thanks..and I suppose I'll forget too?" Donar: "Thou shalt remember whate'er thou dost choose to. Blackhurt...Ausgard...Mangrab...tis up to thine own subconscious." Dancer: "Well. This is my stop. I'll see you around, big guy...and don't worry. I'm sure Troia is just as nervous around you as you are around her." Donar: "I..uh..know not what thou dost..." Dancer: "Relax. You don't have to be a probabilities twister to see you two have a future." And on a rooftop across the street, a hooded figure watches.....and schemes.....and sips his tea.
Donar:"...He art still breaking stuff. Mayhaps I shouldst try. *ahemeth* THE END!."
Dancer:" Nothing. Still going. Well...I COULD try doing a probability jig, but you know..you have to end this, not me. I got us here and invited Mangrab for dramatic purposes.."
*Donar spins Mjalcolm wildy, summoning forth the one known only as...the Hooded Hood.*
Special thanks to Dancer for such a great Part I to work from, and to the ever-talented Visz for naming Heineken.
;)