Posted by The Hooded Hood was dared by Donar and in turn dared Dancer, who was more than happy to take up a dare (as always), so since Donar asked for it (in more ways than one, here's Dancer's part of the NEXT Dancer/Donar tag team story... on May 08, 2001 at 15:47:19:
Dancer/Donar Spectacular #3
Dancer: Hello, Donar. Your message said it was urgent? What’s the problem? Hoki? Enthrallress? The Mangag? Ragnarok? Donar: Er, no. Tis a problem of a more personal nature, milady. Dancer: Ah. Well my advice is to burn the pelt-vest, take a really long shower, and maybe consider some deodorant spray or something. Donar, looking at bare chest: What pelt vest? Nay, tis not a question of personal hygiene. I didst take a bath in the seventeenth century. And being rained upon is an occupational hazardeth. Dancer: Oh, I see. Well perhaps a doctor could prescribe some kind of ointment for the rash and… Donar: Nay, thou still misunderstandeth. Tis an affair of the heart. I think I mayest be in love. Dancer: Oh, Donar, I think you’re a really swell guy and all that, but really I just don’t feel that way about you. You’re a great friend, but… Donar: With Troia. Dancer: Yes, Troia, of course, silly me. Heh. Troia. Yes. Troia. Donar: And thus is my problem. Dancer: What, avoiding spear wounds? Donar: nay. In Ausgard yon valkyries doth always show affection thus. We hast a saying: “A prick for a…” Dancer: Yes, I see. Then what problem? Donar, throwing bread at ducks: It ist a verily long time since I didst ask out a mortal. I suspecteth that the rules hast changed. Dancer, rescuing stunned duck: I see. Well what is your usual opening line? Donar: “Ho, wench! Thy father art overcome and all thy other suitors lie dead. Come forth from the flames of thy sundered farmstead and be mine.” Dancer: Hmmm. Perhaps a more modern approach is needed. Have you no other, modern experience of girls? Donar: Well, I have observed that with fair Lisa the phrase “How much for a short time?” doth often have an effect. Or, indeed, “Hello”. Dancer: OK. It may be that Lisa is a… a special case. What about the date itself. How would you show a girl a good time? Donar: Mayhap we might reave the giants of Giantgard, or set our thews to hunting the Great Boar of Gurtheim. Dancer. Great bore. I see. Donar: Perchance we might quaff and brawl at the goat races? Dancer: Well… those are… very interesting suggestions, Donar. However, I think a lesson in modern dating might be required. Donar: I art most attentive, milady. Dancer: Very well then. Look, I’ll arrange an evening out. You can escort me, as a sort of practise for when you ask Troia and have healed from the subsequent spear wounds. And to show you how couples behave on a night out together these days we’ll bring some couples along for you to observe. Donar: Tis most kind. What couples thinkst thou? Dancer: Ah. Er. Well… Visionary owes me a favour from the L’il Lair Legion story, so I guess Vizh and Cheryl. And I’m sure Yo would help, with… with spiffy. Donar: I think thou art possibly scrapething the barrel there, but yon Coat Rack wilt do much for a free meal, or indeed to be allowed into the same room as a female. Dancer: We have to work with the material at hand. So there we are. Let’s say seven o’clock tomorrow. Wear your good clothes, and we’ll catch a movie and have a meal and perhaps go dancing. I like dancing. And pay careful attention, because after this you’re going to have to do it all for real with Troia 215. Donar: I shall do as thou commandst. [thinks] Hmm, best go kill and skin a fresh dire wolf then. To be continued by Donar ;-)
[The scene: Dancer and Donar are feeding the ducks in Off-Centre Park.]