TROUBLE IN PARODYVERSE


      All,
      In order to understand this episode, you must realize that my big
      sister has a PHD in nutrition and works for a big cattle feed company
      in New Hampshire. She is also a puke-makingly talented writer and
      all-around wonderful person...

        -Lisa
 
      As Lisa was happily engaged in her favorite hobby involving non-dairy
      whipped topping and male anatomy, the doorbell rang.
      "I wonder who that could be," BZL's most famous and promiscuous
      female mused. Reluctantly, she disengaged herself from the arms of
      her
      favorite butler and went to the door. Opening it she gave a gasp of
      horror.
      "Not You!"
      A tall voluptuous woman with the head of a Jersey cow walked in.
      "Hello, sis. I was just in the neighborhood and since you never call,
      never write, I thought I'd just drop in and see how you were doing."
      "Um, I'm doing fine," Lisa stammered nervously. "Really fine."
      "Who's that," Jarvis asked.
      "Don't come..." Lisa began to say but it was too late. Jarvis had
      come to see who it was. She sighed deeply. "Jarvie, sweet cheeks,
      this my
      sister, Moo."
      "So you're the blond hunk of gentleman's gentleman, I've heard all
      those rumors about," Moo said giving him a bovine leer.
      Jarvis blushed.

      Elsewhere...
      "Hark!" a Norse demi-something said. "Forsooth I sense that our
      fellows Lisa and Jarvis are in the danger direst!"
      "So?" Banjooooo, Yo and Space Ghost replied in unison.
      "So we must speed to their rescue," the Nordic type insisted.
      "Do we HAVE to?" Space Ghost whined. "Last time Lisa borrowed my
      spank ray and didn't give it back for a week."
      "Yes," the neo-Viking insisted more strongly.
      "All right," the other agreed reluctantly. The four heroes promptly
      disappeared and reappeared in Lisa's living room.

      "Save yourself, Javie!" Lisa was saying.
      "Hark," Donar said as he appeared. "Tis Hathor the Egyptian goddess
      of Sex and Fertility!"
      "No, it's not," Lisa snapped. "It's my OLDER sister, Moo. Now flee
      while you still can."
      "What's so scary about a woman with a cow's head," Banjooo asked.
      "She doesn't look very scary."
      "Maybe she likes fuzzy bunnies," Yo said tentatively.
      "Yes," the bovine woman replied. "I like little fuzzy bunnies..." she
      smiled showing incongruously sharp canine teeth. "...for LUNCH!"
      Yo fled to his happy place.
      "Yes," Moo said loftily, "My younger foolish sibling is right to fear
      me. After all, I control the ultimate weapon!"
      "I thought Zemo had that," Space Ghost muttered.
      "No, you fools. I control the power of the digestive end product of
      an uncastrated male ruminant of the species Bos Taurus."
      "Huh?" was the collective response from the males in the room.
      "BULLSHIT!" Moo and Lisa bellowed, being alike at least in their
      exasperation for dim-witted males.
      The male BZLers eyes widened in horror as they were suddenly covered
      with the malodorous digestive end product of an uncastrated male
      ruminant of the species Bos Taurus. With a collected yelp of disgust
      they fled in terror, leaving Lisa alone to face her greatest nemesis.
      "You frightened all my lovely play fellows away," Lisa pouted. "And I
      just bought another case of cool whip.
      Moo sighed and pulled off her cow's head to reveal a slightly chubby
      face surrounded by dark blonde curls. "If you'd just call or drop me
      an e-mail occasionally I wouldn't have to resort to invading the
      Parodyverse to get your attention. I bet you haven't even _read_ the
      story I sent you."
      "You said I had till the 14th!" Lisa pointed out.
      "Yah," Moo admitted, "but you could at least send me a return e-mail
      saying you got it..."

      The End...?