"Did you bring me back a souvenir from the 853rd century?"

      The Dark Knight and Fin Fang Foom stepped out of the portal, brushed off the remains of futuristic robots which were
      still trying to strangle them, and sat down in the sunlight coming from the top of the giant, Arizonan crater. They didn't,
      however, reply to Lisa's question. DK was now wearing the costume of the Batman from the 853rd century, and Finny
      shrunk down to a human size, but kept his dragon-like appearance. DK broke the silence with a simple question.

      "Who'd have thought the Amazonians would have indestructible robot guardians?"

      "More importantly," said Finny, "who'd have thought Wonder Girl could misunderstand the kind of toy Robin, the Toy
      Wonder, was--especially when I was using my shapeshifting powers to look like him?

      Banjoooo and spiffy entered the large hanger, and saw Lisa make a rare gesture--one which indicated she was
      surprised. "Don't you mean Robin, the Boy Wonder?"

      "Nope. He's a toy. As to what kind of toy, well, Wonder Girl made another misjudgment--must be a female thing".

      An incredibly loud noise pierced the stale air, and a helicopter blasted through the top of the crater--namely, a
      redesigned Airwolf. It landed fairly smoothly, and Baron Zemo and Pegasus stepped out. "Great job rebuilding this
      thing, FFF." Baron Zemo, a currently-reluctant ally, looked pleased--something rare considering his maniacal
      demeanor. "I assume the undercover mission to the 853rd century went well?"

      "If you mean we're alive, yeah. Not much else, though. I got a new costume out of it, and Finny got a
      new...friend...while he was in the guise of Robin, the Toy Wonder." DK glanced at the nearby monitors. "Hey, Lisa,
      shouldn't you be watching those instead of Ally McBeal?"

      Lisa rolled her eyes. "What could possibly happen while--"

      The sound that followed was human, but it sure didn't sound like it. It was Yo, and he was fighting off a horde of
      crazed businessmen in what looked like a city in the desert.

      "Is that near here, Finny?" Zemo asked.

      "Uh...no. It's, um, Mars."

      The next image on the monitor was that of a writer--Ron Marz, to be exact--who was seconds away from giving a
      Cosmic Cube to...John Byrne!?!

      "It's Marz and it's Mars!" Zemo's words were followed with action--a pointing of his sword to the redesigned Airwolf.
      The rest of the team, however, needed no direction--they had been in motion ever since the Retconning Renegade had
      reached out to take control of the Cosmic Cube. A portal opened, and Finny flew the helicopter through.

      As soon as they arrived on the newly-oxygenated planet, DK jumped out of the helicopter, and a futuristic batarang
      knocked the Cosmic Cube out of the Continuity Castrater's grip. Byrne was then kicked in the jaw by Pegasus, who
      went off on a "You mess with Wanda, you mess with me!" rant. Lisa, armed with the Wand of Watoomb, clocked his
      ally/enemy Chris Claremont. Finny took down McFarlane, and the ILIAD--Idiotic League of Inane
      Artists-pretending-to-be-writers Deathsquad--("We shouldn't have let Liefeld name us!" thought Clamemont, who
      wasn't an artist, but inane nonetheless)--attacked the heroes. Baron Zemo, in typical heroic fashion--for him--ran
      McFarlane through with his sword.

      Finny wasted no time in stomping Marz--and his boss Dooley--to the ground. "I was just following orders!" said Marz,
      but Finny had heard the same thing from the Nazis in the 40's.

      DK stuck Liefeld in an elevator and made him listen to easy-listening music, which caused the Ripoff Roustabout to
      bang his head into the wall repeatedly and giggle like a schoolgirl. "I want my happy place" said Liefeld, but DK replied
      with a series of spin kicks which shut him up.

      Banjooo and spiffy double-teamed Mark Powers, who was fresh from chasing off all the good writers from the
      X-books. Banjoooo, using his sea monkey fighting prowess, punted Powers off-planet and decided to let him see how
      long he could hold his breath. spiffy had the most important job--to get the Cosmic Cube. He grabbed it, and the rest
      of ILIAD fell. Yo, who had been busy evacuating alien bystanders, walked over to get a glimpse of the Cosmic Cube.
      He was dragging the limp body of Dan Jurgens along with him. "Hey, which of you got to Jurgens before I did?"
      Everyone shook their heads, and saw that Jurgens was dead. "But...who killed him?"

      "Who cares? We did it! said spiffy. "But now...what do we do with the Cosmic Cube?"

      "Simple," Zemo said with a glint in his eye, "we fix everything they messed up. With that kind of power, we can do
      anything--the world is ours for the taking--err, fixing, that is."

      DK grimaced. With this kind of power, they could change the world--but into what?

      -------------------------------------------------
      Miles away, Mysterio removed his classic bubble-dome helmet. "That fool Jurgens paid for giving me a crappy
      costume--and that's just the beginning. Soon, the whole world will tremble before me--even the Cosmic Cube won't
      save them from my plans!" His maniacal laughing was interrupted by blood filling his antigravity chamber--his blood.

      "You mean MY plans, now--plus an added surprise for Zemo and his companions. Even if they can all agree on what
      to do with that Cosmic Cube, I'll be able to take advantage of the chaos to something no one would ever expect!"
 

Baron Zemo and his allies all sit, looking at the Cosmic Cube, which is sitting in the middle of a room on a table.

      Zemo: (thinking to self) Hrrmmm... I could take the cube now, before anyone can react. The I'll kill them all and take
      the universe be storm....

      Dark Knight: (hrrm, that would be good for fighting crime...)

      FFF: (It would make those trips flying away, easier...)

      Lisa: (I could sue a lot of people with that....)

      All the members start to reach for the cube , when suddenly the wall blows in.

      Obliterator: The cube is mine, mortal welps!

      Zemo: HEY!! You wrecked my castle!

      Obliterator: DIEEEEE!!!

      The giant armored alien then starts shooting blasts everywhere.

      The Obliterator picks up the cube.

      Obliterator: IT"S MINE! ALL MINE!!

      The Dark Knight: Never!

      DK throws throws one of his fabbled bolas and they rap around the Obliterator's giant, metal legs.

      Obliterator: (starting to trip) NOOO!!!

      SMASH!!

      The league gathers around the Obliterator's knocked out body.

      Zemo: Where's the cube? Ahh, there it is... YARR!!

      FFF: Wha??

      The Grim Reaper: (scythe smoking) HA HA HA HA!! The cube is mine!

      FFF: First the Obliterator, now this?

      spiffy: What will you do with the cube?

      Grim Reaper: Kill you, then takeover the universe!

      Zemo: Copy cat...
 

      What will happen next?! Well I guess thats up to number 3.

What has happened thus far:

      Baron Zemo has alligned himself with those he despises most . . . costumed heroes bent on stopping his nefarious
      schemes.

      The Grim Reaper has stolen the Cosmic Cube.

      The fate of the world rests in the balance.

      So gather 'round, children.

      The story commenceth . . .
 
 
 
 

      The Dark Knight snarled, "Gently put that cube down, or I'll unleash the wrath of Foom upon you."

      Reaper returned, "My dear Knight, don't you remember that those who possess the Cosmic Cube can simply remake
      all of reality?"

      A blinding flash of light . . .

      Foom yelled, "GOOD GOD. HE MIMED THE DARK KNIGHT!!!!!!!"

      And so it was . . . the League's best hand-to-hand fighter reduced to nothing save a mere mime.

Zemo, shocked, turned to his ally.

      Zemo whispered, "God in Heaven, though he's caused me so much headaches in the past, surely he does not deserve
      THIS."

      Zemo remembered the first time they'd ever faced, how easily the Knight had dispatched him . . . stopping his nefarious
      plan, yet allowing the criminal mastermind to escape.

      What purpose could the masked manhunter have had in doing so?

      Zemo resolved to find out, even if it meant saving him . . .

The Obliterator(sp?) stood in the hole he had violently made in the Wall, painfully and cruseely using the Cosmic Cube
      to mime DK.

      spiffy: Nooooo! With DK mimed, one of our greatest allies is decimated!! We're all
      dooomed....DOOOOOOOMED!!!!!!
      *spiffy begins running around in a circle screaming to himself*

      Obliterator:Now to take care of Banjooooo, my next greatest threat!!!!
      *Obliterator whips out his Cliche Ray and zaps Banjooooo square in the chest*

      Banjooooo: What the....? *pauses, then looks at spiffy, who has fallen on the ground and is now weeping* Snap
      yourself out of it man! *slapslap* We need you! If you can't do it for me, then think of the good old boys back home in
      the US! Think of Maw and Paw and Uncle Jeb! Think of how they depend on you! *looks up at the sky, the light
      (coincedentally) perfectly outlining his heroic Sea-Monkey features. A single tear rolls down his chiseled cheek* Do it
      for the GIPPER!

      spiffy: What the hell is wrong with you???

      Banjooooo:I....don't....know!!!! CAn't....put.....words .....together!!! Must...be ...some....sort...of...mind control.....
      Go on without me, I'm not gonna make it!!

      spiffy: Seriously man, you have problems. Remember your *whisperwhisper* power?

      Banjooooo: Oh yeah. *uses anti-mind control power* Well, that was embarassing.

      Lisa: Hey guys, while you were over there talking, we took care of this giant robot freak.
      Check it out, we found the off switch.
      *flips a huge switch on the Obliterator's back*

      Obliterator: I WILL KILL ALL OF---

      Lisa: I don't think so.
      *flips switch back up*
      Cool, huh?

      spiffy: Definitely.

      Banjooooo: Damn, that wiped me out. I'm heading back to my quarters.

      Lisa: Want me to join you?

      Banjooooo: Sorry, remember, that minor thing?????

      Lisa: Oh...alright... spiffy?????

      spiffy: No, I need to go cry. I'm feeling emotionally drained.

      Lisa: Damn. Anyone else?
      *Lisa looks around, the room is totally empty except for the huge robot thingie*

      Lisa: Hmmmmmm....... Nah.... Then again....

      *scene switch to Zemo's lair*

      Zemo: BLAST! They took care of the Obliterator with surprising ease. Note to self: Next time, make On/Off switch a
      lot smaller. Maybe I should make a Self-Destruct button.... Hmm....
      Anyway, wait till they see my latest weapon. I myself am just giddy with anticipation. Yes, quite giddy. Giddy
      INDEED!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!

      What is Zemo's next weapon against our mighty heroes?

      What happened to the Cosmic Cube?

      And who will Lisa sleep with next?

      For these answers and more, read the next installment of ROUND ROBIN.

Lisa:*sigh*

      Jarvis:Hello,Lisa.Guess with them gone,that leaves just you and me...

      Lisa:I'll get the Cool Whip!

      spiffy:*SOB!*I am in my happy place...

      Lisa:*pssst*Meet me later,say 11:00,I'll take you to your happy place!*giggle*

      spiffy:*sniff*Well...okay.

      Jarvis:Lisa!I heated up the Bosco sauce,just how you like it!

      Lisa:Uh...gotta go!

      Fin Fang Foom:Did anyone see where Dark Knight went?

      Banjooo:No,the last I saw of him,he got turned into a mime by the Cosmic Cube!

      Fin Fang Foom:Hey!The Cosmic Cube!Where did it go?

      *Hours later*

      spiffy:Oh,well.At least one good thing came out of that battle with the Obliterator.

      *spiffy takes the Cosmic Cube out of his end-table drawer*

      spiffy:With this,I will destroy them
      all!AHAHAHAHA!MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!

      Next:

      Baron Zemo's latest threat!

      The evil spiffy wields the Cosmic Cube!

      And Lisa gets some not-so-shocking results when she takes a home-pregnancy test!

      All this and more---NEXT TIME!
 

The next day...

spiffy was alone in his secret lair.  Everything was moving along perfectly.  He'd gained possession of the Cosmic Cube, he'd avoided the "encounter" with Lisa, and he was already planning to appropriate an item from the Dark Night's underground headquarters.  (see Round Robin #2)  For now, however, he was content with irritating the LoR.  It was not yet time to destroy them, so he needed to use an individual that wouldn't be too much of a threat.  One with such limited goals, that he wouldn't be able to destroy even the feeble Lisa.  One with a weak will, a weak body, and weak principals.  One like...

Baron Zemo:  spiffy!  What're you doing here?

spiffy:  What are you doing here?  This is my secret lair!  My happy place!

Baron Zemo:  This is Lisa's bedroom.  Did you spend the night with her again?

spiffy:  Do you see her here?  Of course not!  I sent her off to find me elsewhere, to avoid her twisted idea of "fun".  Speaking of which, what are you doing here?

Baron Zemo:  I was... er... uh... looking for you!  That's right!  Have you figured out how to destroy the LoR yet?

spiffy: Oh, right.  Them.  Yeah, here you go.

spiffy handed Zemo a brightly glowing cube.

Zemo:  The Cosmic Cube?  How did you get this?

spiffy:  Ask me no questions, Zemo.  Remember, I'm your ally, not one of your puny underlings.

Zemo:  Yes... I'm sorry, sir...  But I can't destroy the LoR now!  We're allied with them!

spiffy:  When has that ever stopped you before?

Zemo:  Oh, I suppose you're right.  But I should disguise myself...

Later, at the LoR's base:

Jarvis: I sure do enjoy breathing.  Anyone seen Lisa?

Fin Fang Foom:  Yeah, she was looking for spiffy.  Anyone seen the Dark Knight?

Lisa:  Not since he turned into a mime.  Anyone seen spiffy?

Banjooo: Lisa?  Weren't you off looking for spiffy?  Anyone seen my League of the Forgotten teammates?

Spider-Monkey:  To the trees!

Jarvis: Is he on our team?  Hey, Lisa's here!  I brought some butter...

Lisa:  Butter?  What good is that?  I need Cool Whip!  Or else the Obliterator... oh baby...

Then, as if on cue, the Obliterator crashed through the wall.

Lisa:  Obby, honey!  I knew you hadn't had enough last time!

Obliterator:  What're you talking about?  I came to destroy you!

Lisa:  Oh nutsidoodles.

Obliterator:  And this time I have the Cosmic Cube!

He pulled out a small, glowing cube.  The LoR gave a collective gasp of surprise and shock.  Except for Jarvis.  He was staring at Lisa.

Obliterator:  Jarvis?  Cosmic Cube?  Destroy you?

Jarvis:  Hm?  Oh, yeah, right.  Attack him...!

Taking only a moment to overcome their shock, the LoR grouped into attack formation.

Jarvis:  My JarvisCosmic will destroy you!

Jarvis gestured towards the Obliterator, but only a feeble spark came out of his fingers.

Jarvis:  Nuts.  Cut out again.  I'm gonna hide behind Lisa now.  Mmmmm... Lisa's behind...

Lisa:  Ick.  I'd sue you, but that wouldn't be painful enough.  I think I'll sick Byrne on you... but that's not important right now!  Obliterator, prepare to die!

Obliterator:  I think not!  I've already used the Cube to negate your powers!  You cannot stop me!

Lisa:  Well, I'd might as well give it a shot.  Oops... you're right... not working.  I'm gonna go hide behind Banjooo now.  Mmmm... Banjooo's behind...

Banjooo:  Someone help...

Obliterator:  You see?  You are finished!  Sea monkey? Dragon?  Don't make me laugh.  And that Dark Knight... what a pathetic hero he was... the mime thing was an improvement.

Fin Fang Foom: Beware, Obliterator, the wrath of Fin Fang Foom!  If you insult one of us, you insult both of us!  Dieeeeeeeeeeeee!!!

With that, Fangy let loose an enormous jet of flame.  When the smoke cleared, there was no sign of the Obliterator, or of the Cosmic Cube.

Fin Fang Foom:  Whoops... maybe I overreacted...

Jarvis: Ah, well, he's dead.  So, Lisa wanna come back to my place?

Lisa:  Nope.

Jarvis:  To a hotel room?

Lisa: Nope.

Jarvis:  Ice cream shop.

Lisa: Nope.  Banjooo, honey, come with me.

Banjooo:  Someone help...
 

-Epilogue

spiffy sat facing a computer screen, chuckling to himself.  He knew that Zemo would fail in his guise of Obliterator.  In an act of pity, spiffy had teleported Zemo back to his HQ before he had been annihalated.  It was a shame that Zemo's Cube had been destroyed, though.  Of course, it had no power whatsoever.  The negation of Lisa's powers had been spiffy's doing.  Now, only he knew who had the Cosmic Cube.  His plan was proceeding exactly as he had wished.  The pieces were falling into place.  Now, to gain access to the Dark-Cave... (again, in Jarvis' Round Robin)

End