Starseed’s burial had commenced. The Lair Legion gathered around the grave stone...

"I can’t believe he’s gone," Lisa said through her tears. "It’s just not fair..."

Jarvis approached and wrapped his arms around her. "It’ll be alright, Lisa." Jarvis tried to act as a pillar of strength for the grieving Lair Legion, but even he was devastated by the horrible turn of events. Jarvis swore to himself that Lector would pay. Dearly.

Just then, the Hornet arrived.

"Hornet!" Jarvis said, glad to see that others had not forgotten his fallen comrade. "It’s good to have you here."

"I flew over as soon as I received the news. Starseed was a great friend. He, Space Ghost and I founded the GAAAAHHHHH!!! and Keith Giffen Leagues together." Hornet wiped a tear from his eye. "I can only hope he’s at peace..."

"I’m sure he is," a voice called from the distance. The mourners turned to see the Grim Reaper himself, along with various other members of the Anti Wonder Man League.

"I’ve only had limited contact with ‘seed, but I knew he was a good man," the Reaper went on to say. "I remember when he volunteered to help hunt down the traitorous Spider-Carnage. That was his first mission as an AWMLer. I always respected him for that..."

Blundering Man spoke next. "I got to know Starseed when I joined the GAAAHHHH!!! League. He was one of the best frineds you could ask for."

"Starseed’s death hit us all hard," Stu the Disgruntled Greek said, as he appraoched with Archangel.

"Hey...where’s Space Ghost. He should be here," Fin Fang Foom stated.

"He’s on Ghost Planet, drunk and pantsless," Hornet replied. "I went to see him before I came here. He wouldn’t even listen to me. I think someone needs to talk to him."

"Well, Space Ghost is still under the impression that he’s responsible..." Visionary said.

"He has to understand that he only did what had to be done," Cheryl responded, continuing the exchange in some of the worst expository dialogue I’ve ever written. "Starseed gave his life to save us."

"Verily. Starseed art a hero most valiant," Donar said. "He willingly scrificed his life that we might live."

"Yeah," Banjooo added," what Donar said. "Regardless of how it happened, we can all agree that Starseed died a hero."

As everyone turned to leave, Blundering Man, Hornet, Archangel and Donar felt a twinge within their skulls. On distant Ghost planet, Space Ghost felt the same twinge.

"What the hell was that?" he wondered as he held his head. He dismissed it as nothing and continued to watch Jerry Springer.

"AAGGHH! It hurts! It hurts!" Stu the Disgruntled Greek screamed.

"Make the pain stop! Make it stop!" Blundering Man cried.

The entire GAH! League was suffering. It had begun with a slight head twinge at Starseed’s funeral and later exploded into pain most excruciating. No one was sure what to make of it.

"All I can say is that it must be GAH! related," NTU-150 observed. "There’s nothing I can do. This whole ‘GAH!’ thing is lost on me. I don’t understand it."

"There’s gotta be something you can do, NTU," Jarvis said. "We’ve just lost one Legionairre. I’m not about to let any others die." Jarvis was taking Starseed’s death rather hard. He was the Lair Legion’s leader and, as such, felt responsible for the tragic turn of events. "There has to be someone we can go to for help."

"There is," a booming voice said.

"What the--?! Who’s there?!" Visionary yelled.

"A friend," the voice answered. He appeared in front of the Legion, dressed in the robes of a king.

"Who are you," Fin Fang Foom inquired.

"I am Master GAH!, Lord of all things GAH!. I have come to help your teammates."

"’Master GAH!’, huh?" Banjooo asked. "Starseed never mentioned a ‘Master GAH!’ before."

"Not even he knows of my existence. Rest assured, I come in peace. I bear you no malice. I only wish to help."

Jarvis cautiously approached Master GAH! "I apologize for the initial coldness. We’ve had some...bad experiences...with disembodied voices before. Allow me to introduce myself. I’m..."

"I know who you are," Master GAH! said. "I know who all of you are. One of the perks of omniscience. Now, if we could get down to business?"

"Of course," Jarvis said, taken aback by Master GAH!’s curtness.

"Since you know everything," NTU said, a tinge of sarcasm in his voice, "what’s the problem?"

"Starseed," Master GAH! replied. "He’s not dead."

"WHAT?!" the Lair Legion said in unison.

"When Starseed’s flesh was destroyed, his spirit became one with the GAH! Force that exists everywhere. The GAH! Leaguers have been absorbing that Force to fuel their powers and, in the process, absorbing part of Starseed’s spirit as well. Each of their bodies houses a part of Starseed’s consciousness. A part that is trying to escape. That’s what is causing the pain."

All of the Lair Legionairres seemed to understand, though Visionary was a bit confused. He decided not to say anything, and keep what little dignity he had left.

"To save your friends," Master GAH! continued, "we have to bring Starseed’s consciousness out and remove it from their bodies."

"Um...okay, I can do that," NTU said. "I’m sure I could whip up a device..."

"No device is needed. It’s up to the Leaguers themselves." He turned to the GAH! Leaguers. "You have to reach deep within yourselves and let Starseed come to the surface."

"W-we’ll give it a shot," Stu said, talking through the pain.

The GAH! Leaguers concentrated. They felt they had to do this. Not only for themselves, but for Starseed. Suddenly, their eyes snapped open and they looked around, confused, as if they’d just awoken from a dream.

"What--?! Where am I?" They spoke in unison...and in Starseed’s voice.

"Starseed!" Jarvis cried, elated at his comrade’s pseudo-revival.

Lisa also displyed excitement at Starseed’s return. "I won’t have to give up one of my playthings after all!" she said.

"We’re not finished yet," Master GAH! said. "We have to bring his consciousness together."

"How?" the Starseed-possessed Leaguers asked.

"Stand in a circle, and empty all the GAH! Energy in each body into the center. Every last bit of it..."

Starseed did as instructed. When all the GAH! Energy was in the center, "Master GAH!" pulled out a small containment device and sucked all the energy into it.

Jsut the, Yo burst in. "No! Do not be listening to Master GAH! He will being tricking you!" Yo had been in the Happy Place visiting the bunnies when Master GAH! entered. Yo had only seconds ago discovered his secret.

"Too late, Yo! You trusting fools..."

"Um...Master GAH!?" NTU asked.

"There is no ‘Master GAH!’ you fools! I am...Wallace!"

Six men in black business suits walked into the room. "Mission accomplished, agents," Wallace said to them.

"Then this has all just been a big lie!" Visionary realized.

"Not really," Wallace replied. "Starseed’s consciousness really was trapped in the GAH! Energy surrounding the Earth and contained within the Leaguers. We learned that much from the GAH! Energy we’ve already collected and examined. That being every last bit of GAH! Energy on Earth..."

"You’re bluffing!" Blundering Man cried.

"Don’t believe me? Just try to charge a GAH! Blast. It won’t work."

Blundering Man attempted, to no avail.

"You haven’t gotten all of it," Stu said with a smirk.

"What? Oh, you speak of Space Ghost," Wallace said. "He was the first Leaguer we got. We intercepted him as he flew from Ghost Planet. Why do you think he wasn’t at the funeral?"

"Who are you people?" Jarvis demanded.

"We are The Corporation. We want the power that the GAH! Energy will give us. And we’re helping a client. You see, this is all part of our joint venture with someone from your past..." As Wallace finished, the mystery man stepped from the shadows.

They found themsleves staring at the former Irregular, the Anti-Starseed Mime.

"Well, we really must be going," Wallace said.

"And how do you plan on doing that?" Fin Fang Foom asked.

"With this. The portable teleporter which I used to first appear to you as ‘Master GAH!’. Ta-ta now." And with that, The Corporation and the Mime were gone

"Damn," Jarvis cursed. "They played us for fools!"

"And now they have the world’s GAH! Energy supply," Archangel added.

"Don’t forget Starseed," Stu said. "They’ve got him, too."

"Verily, The Corporation hath made a grievous error in hoodwinking us," Donar said. "Now they shalt pay!"

The Lair Legion’s jet shot through the air like a bullet, its inhabitants preparing for the coming battle. Starseed was counting on them. Failure meant death.

"Damn, talk about pressure," Jarvis said.

Only the most powerful Legionaires had come on this mission: Jarvis, while no longer in possession of the JarvisCosmic, was a leader of unmatched quality. Lisa, whose legal energies were nothing short of magnificent. Fin Fang Foom, shape-shifting dragon of mythic proportions. Donar, bullet-proof Thunder God, wielder of the mythic Mjalcom™ and target of lawsuits aplenty. And NTU-150, master inventor, commissioned to creat a device capable of returning Starseed to a cohesive whole. Banjooo had kingly duties to attend to. spiffy was, what, fifteen years old and powerless? And, obviously, Visionary was on monitor duty.

"We’re approaching the Corporation’s headquarters," NTU said.

"Take ‘er down, NTU," Jarvis responded.

The jet landed atop the Corporation’s headquarters. As the Legionairres stepped off, they were greeted by laser-fire.

"Alright, Lair Legion," Jarvis cried. "Let’s go kick some ass!"

The Legion sprung into action. Donar launched Mjalcom™ at the oncoming flunkies, knocking them to the ground, where they lay until the enchanted baseball bat returned to the Thunder God’s grip. Lisa’s legal energies made short work of the rest. The Legion was fighting with unusual ferocity. They knew the stakes.

"I know you can here me, Wallace," Jarvis screamed, referring to the Corporation’s leader. "Give it up. You have absolutely no chance. Surrender, or we’ll kick your asses so hard, you freaking grandchildren will feel it!"

"Such vulgar language," Wallace’s voice emanated from various loudspeakers. "If you’re so confident in your abilities, then, by all means, try us."

On cue, a large opening appeared in the roof of the Corporation’s headquarters. The Legion didn’t hesitate to jump right in. They found themselves in an enormous complex. To the left was a huge container filled with the world’s GAH! energy. To the right was a containment unit housing Space Ghost’s beaten body. Both within reach. "The Corporation is taunting us," Jarvis thought. "But their overconfidence will be their downfall."

This time, however, the Legion was not up against a gaggle of Corporate flunkies. They were up against some of the Corporation’s best-trained operatives.

"Finny, do what you can to free Space Ghost!" Jarvis demanded. "Donar and Lisa, hold off those lackeys! NTU and I will try to release the GAH! energy!"

The "lackeys", however, were heavily armored and ready for action. Their gunfire rained down upon Donar and Lisa without mercy. They weren’t holding back. Lisa conjured some legal energies, but they were only a minor annoyance to the Corporation’s army. Mjalcom™ did slightly more damage, but Donar was still taking a heavy beating.

Fin Fang Foom had broken Space Ghost free, but was having a great deal of difficulty bringing him around. Not only was he badly beaten, he also had a hangover.

"Snap out of it, SG!" FFF said, slapping Space Ghost across the face.

"We gotta save Starseed!"

"...save..." Space Ghost muttered "...Starseed...SPANK RAY!!!!!" he finally bellowed, realizing what was going on. He joined they fray, smacking the crap out of some operatives. Finny joined as well. Donar and Lisa were glad to have the help.

Jarvis was having a ball taking a crowbar to the GAH! energy containment unit. "Smashy, smashy!" he said. NTU was calibrating his device.

"Got it!" NTU cried. "Release the energy!"

Jarvis gave the machinery one last blow, releasing the GAH! energy into the room. NTU activated his device.

"Now what?" Jarvis asked.

"We wait for this baby to do its magic."

With the addition of Space Ghost and Finny, the battling Legionairres had put the kibosh on most of the Corporate operatives. Finny incinerated the last one, and the battle was over. Or so they thought...

Suddenly, Lisa, Donar, Space Ghost and Finny were all laid out by an energy blast. One fired by none other than the Anti-Starseed Mime!

The Mime pointed at Jarvis and NTU, and gave a silent cackle, as if to say, "You have no hope!"

"Nuts" NTU mumbled.

As the Mime began to close in, he was struck down by another blast of energy. One that had come from behind NTU and Jarvis.

"Gaaaahhhh...that felt good!" a familiar voice said.

The Mime got up, and looked in the direction from which the blast had come.

"Back off, you worthless, pansy-ass abomination! I’m taking you and your Corporation down. Starseed’s back, baby, and he’s better than ever!"