Posted by Dancer continues Spaghetti Week. the rest of you need to keep up here. on March 01, 2001 at 12:36:11:
Dancer and the Spaghetti Wars Spaghetti Week Special #3 [The scene: ManMan is battling the lethal Laxative Man in Off-Central Park] ManMan: Give it up, Laxative Man! You can’t… er, excuse me a minute [dives behind bush] Knifey: That’s the nineteenth time this battle, Joe. Get a grip. ManMan: That’s just what I am doing. And once I’ve finished… ow! Why would they grow deadly nightshade in a park? Laxative Man: Fool! Nothing can stop me! I shall rule the world! Dancer: Hi, Manny, Knifey, what’s up? ManMan (hastily adjusting leather pants): Dancer! Er, hi. Aaaagh! Knifey: And the moral is, always look before you zip. Laxative Man: Bwa-hah-hah! Dancer: Hey Manny, is that a new villain you’ve got there? Can I have a go with him? ManMan: Be my guest. Er, be right back [dives behind tree] Laxative Man: Foolish wench! My powers will work as well on you as on… [Is pounded into the ground by a freak accidental discharge from an overflying 747 jet toilet.] Dancer: Eeew. Anyway, Manny, what I was looking for you for was that we’ve got to stop the Spaghetti War that’s ravaging the Big Banana, then clear the LL’s good name and stop Finny getting the electric chair for his crimes against fettuccini. ManMan: Is that all? Dancer: Well, we should perhaps get you a new pair of pants first. [Later. ManMan and Dancer enter the old neighbourhood of Little Pasta, and seek out the notorious Pastafather] Dancer: Excuse me, hooldums, but have you seen Malevelo Lasagna, the Pastafather, by any chance? ManMan: Gaak! You can’t just ask killer thugs to… Killer Thug: That way, miss. I think-a he was-a having his hair cut. Dancer: Thank you. ManMan: Why doesn’t it ever work like that for me? I always have to fight my way through hordes of crazed henchmen. Knifey: Well, she’s got a couple of big advantages. Killer Thug 1 to Killer Thug 2 (watching them go): What a nice dame. Killer Thug 2 to Killer Thug 1: And what big advantages she has. Dark Knight (looming from shadows): …….. Killer Thug 1: Ack…. Killer Thug 2: A…. Dark Knight (looming back into shadows): …….. [Meanwhile Manny and Dancer have got to the barber’s shop] ManMan: Remind me why you chose me for this again? Dancer: Because I couldn’t find Messenger, of course. Er, I mean because I wanted the best to back me up. Let’s go in. Sophia Bologna, the Spaghetti Stranger: No so fast, heroes. You’re on our turf now. Nobody sees the Pastafather. The Notorious Tortelli Brothers, the lethal Pizzaflingers: That’s right. Here’s where you get made into tagliatelli! Gypsy Violin-Playing Man: And that’s just-a the first course. ManMan: It’s a trap! Knifey: No. Really? [to be continued……]