Posted by DONAR on January 23, 2001 at 09:14:34:
In Reply to: ah, the legands of the past! Please, tell us the tale! Also, please give me the history of your valaint land, so all may benifit! posted by ag on January 23, 2001 at 07:22:32:
Herein art the tale, told to me in mine past, by Oldman's detached eyeball.
As a sacrifice to the knowledge that art Cable Tjelevision, mine Allfather didst sacrifice himself on the Ljazy-Boy Recliner for 9 days andst 9 nights in the quest for omniscience.
Part of that price wert the loss of an eye. Let it be knownst that when one dost haveth..I believe the mortal term is "rabbit ears"..on thy Tjelevision, walking over to the set art a danger indeed.
And so that Yo dost not suffer, fear not..our natural Ausgardian ability to heal is strongest in mine Father, his eye having grown back in time for the 24 hour Friends Marathon on channel 36.
But I digress..the tale..
"In a time before man reckoned, there was a void called Grinninggap. From Grinninggap did springeth forth a dimension, alien to it's netherworldy fold, known as the Happy Place. Be it the true Happy Place of the Yo-being's inception, or merely another Happy place matters not, for the tale is young, and logic art the enemy of the imagination.
On the world known as Middlegard to the Ausgardians, there was a hero of their own blood. For many years did he walketh foot after foot across it's shining shores and spiralling mountains. He too was known by many names. Thunderer....Demi-god...Sjelknuser....Donar...and, on occasion, Hank. His role at this time was to learn the gifts that were his by birthright, from his mother.
She was a beautiful maiden, who was ancient before the first words were spoken, but didn't look a day over 21. This being a time of confusion, also meant she wore many names. Cerridwen, Gaea, Dawn..of course her REAL name wert Gail.
It seems that at one time, reality was set to crumble between the dimensions of Ausgard and Earth. The thin wall of perception and belief that kept both world separate was most crack'd and damaged. Thus, an alliance was struck. Gail and Oldman's love did bring forth most Thunderous fruit. It was Donar's existance, He of both worlds, that did for a time, delay one worlds apocalypse.
As it was, Donar had grown up as a Godchild, spoilt by his father, and without any compassion for those that would not follow the Allfather's Way. His word was supreme, and woe to anyone, be they Troll, Frosting Giant or Human that did not bend their wills to Oldman's might. This pleased the Allfather no end, to have one so strong...some say e'en stronger than He..fight for the Way would no doubt prove to Ausgard's benefit.
But this was not how it was meant to be. Gail, irate at Oldman's impudence, reminded him of their bargain. A balance must be sought, lest both worlds perish. Oldman laughed, calling the Earthmother a nagging wretch, with no place in cosmic affairs. It was then that news was brought forth to Oldman by Visioneery, Oldman's trusted Seer. The Runes told of the second coming of Ragnarclok, even more dire than the first. The hands were ticking and if the Thunderer was on Ausgard's soil at the Coming, all wouldst perish.
It was at this time that Gail, holding all the cards made a new bargain with Oldman. "Send me my child" she said. "He will feel his mother's love and be bestowed with the gift of human emotions."
"Emotions are weakness" Oldman roared. "Ne'er shalt mine son be a traipsing fairy-boy. He art warrior born, the mightiest of all! Mine own blood dost course through his veins. If thou wouldst undo mine work.."
He was not allowed to finish. Visioneer clutched up the Runes and cast again. "Allfather! The time art nigh! the Oldmanson must hie off to Middlegard, lest we all be smited by the little hand of the Ragnarclok!"
Gail smiled.
And so, we are here again. Donar didst mingle with mortals. Verily did he learn to accept their ways, and eventually admire them. He did see his errors of youth, and swear evermore to defend these valiant creatures with his every breath. He found joy in their happiness, and felt their lows.
He felt pride in their accmplishments, and helpless in their losses. He bacame more human day by day. It was then that the balance did tip again. For Donar to remain would tilt the balance in Earth's favor. It seemed that Either way he went, his Father's realm was doomed.
It was then that Oldman did travel to Grinninggap. Dressed in only a Drjiza-Bone and an Akjubra, the Allfather did travel to the East. There, did he find the Grinninggap, a void of thought and spring of eternal imagination. From it did flow the Happy Place, like smoke from an extinguished candle. Oldman did speak.
"I art glad thou didst sense mine coming...twas not so long ago that Ausgard itself didst rise from thy glory."
No reply.
Oldman knelt, in reverence to that which he would owe this favor.
"I have little time, old ones. A balance must be sought, lest mine realm art swallowed for eternity by the never stopping hands of Ragnarclok."
It was then a voice did reply from the deep.
"And what being is it you after are being?"
"I seek balance. A solution to mine son's exile."
"Hmmm" the Cutevoice dod ponder. "I am thinking an answer we can be having you for. But price am needing to be paid."
"I offer mineself."
The Cutevoice did reply "Am not being wanting ldman, you am Donar's Dad and he will needing you be for playing games and advice being giving. Am wanting the one thing am ALWAYS wanting having to be."
Oldman grinned. "Forgive mine impudence. I didst forget who..er..what I wert dealing with." He then reached into his pocket and pulled forth a rabbit kitten, no more than 2 weeks old. "I trust mine offering art cute enough?"
"BUNNY!" did the voice reply. Grinniggap yawned, the rabbit turning to light in the Allfather's hand and flying deep towards the Cutevoice.
On Earth, the time finally came for him to return to Ausgard. Gail did impart this wisdom upon him.
"My beautiful son. It has pleased me no end to see you grow into a true God now. I hope you will not forget your time here, and that which you have learnt."
"Nay Mother, ever wills thy lessons remain inst mine head."
Gail smiled, kissing her son on the forehead, giving the comfort that only a Mother's embrace can give. "You'd better go...you know how your Father gets."
"Aye...fare thee well Mother, we shalt meet again. And I shalt not forget thy words."
Of course, Donar meant what he said. But, Oldman's will is all-righteous. As a returning gift, Donar was bestowed with a form of enchanted amnesia..thus allowing the Prince of Ausgard to continue his duties as Oldman willed it to be.
Of course, Visioneery noticed Donar's sudden compassion and changed attitude, but decided this was a secret better kept to himself.
And of the deal that was struck?
Tales abound of a great hero, wielding a mighty weapon and riding a very cute Bjunny o'er Earth's shores. He referred to himsel..hers..er..itself as Yonar..but, tis is another tale, and being an eye, I grow weary."
Donar looked at the eye that had just related this ponderous tale. "Thou wouldst have me believe this?"
"Of course" the Eye replied. "It's all true..the Bjunny, your Mother, Visioneery, everything."
"Nay" the Oldmanson did retort. "Not thy tale, but that thou art weary. Thou cannot be!"
"And why.." the Eye replied "..should i NOT be tired?"
"Thou hast no eyelid. How canst thou sleepeth?"
"Shuttup." the Eye replied.