Posted by on April 28, 2001 at 00:11:14:
In Reply to: I found all the Exile stories... they are as follows... posted by Exile on April 28, 2001 at 00:09:40:
Exile #1
It's late at night, the dark figure known as Exile is on top of an abandoned telephone booth (bet ya didn't see that one coming!!) in the middle of a neighbourhood regularly staked out by him known as Hell's Bathroom (Thanks for the name GE) in the city of Parodiopolis.
Tonight is a night of reflections for the young hero. Three years before he first learned of his long-lost cousin Goldeneyed, and one faithful year later he started his superhero training under the guidance of the Observing Eye organization (check out Goldy's work!!).
Up until now Derek Foreman (Exile) had been pretty self concerned. Since he was sent to the hellish training ground by the member assigned to him (Exile of the OE organization), most people would perish in Derek's position, but he kept his cool (if that's possible while sweating your nads off!!). The place he was sent was the Devil's own sauna. Intense heat was one thing Derek hated. That long two years ago was the beginning of Exile's training, and where he earned his right to be a superhero. That's when he was confronted by the tall man *cheap 60's astonishing music* Dunn dah dunn!!!
"Mr. Foreman," he said, "You were brought here for..."
"Hey, I know why I'm here! Normally if someone banished me to Hell I'd.."
"You'd do nothing. You don't have any special powers besides the 'training' ones I gave you. You'd be no more harm to me than a fly!"
"I see." *Derek looks at a rock on the ground while the tall man's back is turned and thinks 'Should I or Shouldn't I?'*
"If you're going to hit me with that rock, I'll just leave you here." the shadowy figure turned to Derek and said, "If you want to be a full-fledged superhero, you're going to have to go though hell."
*snicker*
"What?"
"You said I'd have to go though hell."
"Your point?" the tall man replied while looking at Derek as if he were an idiot.
"Never mind." said Derek (the Idiot ;-)) "Are you my guardian Angel or something?"
"No, I'm from a group of people in charge of watching over and guiding some of the Universe's most potentially powerful being. We are known as the Observing Eye."
"I'm that powerful!?"
"NO, you're annoying! The only reason I'm standing here talking to you is because you are skilled in the areas of combat. That's the only reason you're here."
"Gee, don't get my hopes up."
"So far you've passed all tests thrown in your way, including some created by me."
"Such as...?"
"Your parents death."
"I'll KILL you!!!!"
"It wasn't me who killed them, it's just as you remembered, it was all fate."
Derek's mind relaxed, obviously taking in the strain of the past few words.
"Be assured, you already have great power, but you must first master it and receive more to defeat what lies ahead. You must also prove you are ready and responsible for it. Plus you could stand to learn a thing or two."
Next Issue: I'm not telling what happens!!!
Exile #2
LAST TIME: Derek/Exile was reflecting on how he got his powers from the Observing Eye member assigned to him.
(Back where we left not-so-ol' Exy... except a year later [and YES he was allowed to go home!])
"Derek take these." With that, the tall man hands Derek two pieces of machinery that look like wristbands.
"What're these?"
"They're Inter-Dimensional Energy Controlling Devices."
"HUH?"
"Or... I.D.E.C.D.s for short. They convert Inter-Dimensional energy into solid objects."
"What do they do?"
"Press it."
Derek presses the button and a black leathery substance engulfs him.
"Your suit can absorb violent shocks and other such things."
"Bullets?"
"As mere as mosquitos."
"KEWL!"
"You must choose a symbol."
"A symbol?"
"So you don't look exactly like Goldeneyed with black hair sticking out the top of the suit and red glowing eyes!"
"Oh."
Exile trainer turns to him with what looks like a palmtop computer and presses a few buttons.
"This will be your symbol."
"Cool, uh...... again. What can I ever do to repay you?"
"Stay alive, destroy crime and make sure I don't have to stay in the same room as you for more than five minutes."
"Why?"
"Because I've found more gray hair on my head in the past year than I've had in my whole life!"
"Man, What a grouch." mumbled Derek.
"Derek, you've been given 'training' powers when we first met. Throughout your training you showed responsibility in your actions and at least some maturity in your conduct. I am satisfied you will respect the power upgrades being given to you. These will triple you strength and double your agility, plus you will have the ability to fly."
"Seriously, what can I do to repay you?"
"Similar to my other answer. Make sure I don't have to talk to you again! I've gone through a case of Industrial Strength Aspirin!!"
With that Derek's surroundings melted away, revealing the fact that he was in an abandoned gym.
"Oh s**T! What time is it? I hope I didn't miss North Park!
Derek glances at an ever-so-conveniently located clock tower.
"Aw nuts."
Next Issue: I bring you Exy's first villain.
PS Bring your sense of humour ;-)
Exile #3
Present Day, Hell's Bathroom, El Niņo* Jewellery Store 10:06 p.m.
*So sue me I couldn't come up with a name.
"Hey Joey! Take a look at dis!"
"Frank.. you watchin' another stupid talk show again?"
"NO!! It's the news. Any ways, this guy was bein' mugged and outta no where somebody dressed in a black suit with a weird symbol on it and red glowing eyes. He KO'd the attacker and strung 'im up from a lamp-post!"
"Uhhhh... right. And I'm supposed to believe this?"
"Remember the Lair Legion.. it's possible."
Just then the front doors of the store burst open.
"Hey APEX rent-a-pigs (security guards) get yer hands in the air!"
"Frank, *sigh* this is what you get for watchin' TV instead of the security cameras."
"Shut-up! Mason knock 'is lights out!"
"Lights out--? I thought the party just started. commented a raven figure sulking in the shadows.
"Mason, no comments."
"Duuuhh, Boss dat wasn't me."
"Huh?"
KRACKKK!!!
"Mason? Mason where are ya?"
"He had to take a nap. I'm his replacement." said... Uh... you know.
"I guess I'll even the odds." The thug drops the parcel he was carrying and grabs the shotgun that was slung over his shoulder.
"Please don't hurt me Mr. Robber, I promise I won't mash your face into a bloody pulp!"
The burglar fires repeatedly at Exile, missing every time.
"Anyone ever tell you those are dangerous?"
CRUNCH!!
The thug flies though the air and into (actually inside) a Parodiopolis Postal Service mail box, sending letters all over the place. Then Exile creates a metal cable with his I.D.E.C.D.s and ties up the two bandits. Next he pulls out a can of spray paint and prints 'EXILE' in large letters across the mailbox (still on the guy's head) and flies away.
"Frank... I'm a believer."
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Then next day at Derek and his roomie Jack's apartment.
"Hey Derek.. uh... you seen the sports section?"
Derek, coffee mug in hand, looks down at his friend in sheer astonishment for his lack of observation. (Derek's got it!)
"This what you were looking for?"
"Dammit... you have it.. what's this?"
"The front page... what does it look like?"
"Actually it looks like a monkey if you ask me."
The front page reads in a large font; 'Bandits caught during a jewellery store robbery. "EXILE" to thank.' and in a smaller font; 'Lair Legion foils the plans of Baron Zemo.'
"I wish I was Exile, or I could be his sidekick who runs around super fast all the time and regularly cracks annoying jokes with little or no meaning at all." said the annoyance by the name of Jack.
"In your dreams!"
"Of course. No one these days can do things like Impu-- Uh I mean Exile yeah, Exile gotta love 'im."
"What an idiot." Derek mumbles under his breath.
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Same day, Dr. Maybe's secret hideout, Russia, 12:57 p.m.
Dr. Maybe's servant (Jeebs) comes in with his lunch.
"Jeebs, my plan for taking over the U.S. is complete. I will replace their milk supply with crude oil! They'll never notice. When hey grow weak due to lack of calcium. We will crush them! MOTHER RUSSIA WILL RISE AGAIN!
MWA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!
"Ummmm... sir... crude oil is black."
"Their milk is black.. isn't it... it has to be.... My beloved goat milk is white because goats are white. Their milk is black because the dominant colour of the cows is black. Their milk is black!"
Maybe drinks from his glass (containing milk).
"Sir, you were raised on imported American milk."
Maybe spits his milk all over the table.
"Why didn't you tell me?!"
"You never told me of your plan... so I didn't think it mattered."
"Well I'll have to come up with another plan." sits idly thinking. "That's it I'll steal some guidance chips from the Americans for those warheads in the basement! MWA HA HA HA HA HA HA!
NEXT ISSUE: Can Exile defeat the diabolical Dr. Maybe? Or will he be drowned in mayonnaise? Read to find out. PS He won't be drowned in mayo.
Exile #4
LAST ISSUE: The introduction of the idiotic Dr. Maybe.
The TV is blaring inside the low-rate apartment of Derek Foreman and Jack Thompson. You'd think Derek would be watching some high profile news broadcast, but no, he's watching the Simpsons. Suddenly the screen changes and they hear;
"And now a KTCZ News Update."
"BOO!" yells Jack as he starts throwing cookies at the TV.
Derek: "I'm not cleanin' that up!"
"Hello I'm Barry Forth (kind of an inside joke for Northwestern Ontarians [we have a reporter named Barry Third]) A test rocket was fired at an empty warehouse in the east end of town today. The area has had a rising crime rate for three years now and has picked up the appropriate nickname of Hell's Bathroom. More at six. Back to our regularly scheduled programming.
"Um... Jack.. I have to take a raincheck on watchin' the Simpsons tonight. I forgot about my date with Eleni."
Derek rushes out the door, slamming it behind him.
"Who's Eleni?"
------------------------------------------------------------------------
A little later Exile sits atop a small building looking down and listening in on a group of police officers talking among themselves.
"Chief says some guy who called himself Dr. Maybe was testing a nuke out here." said one.
"Maybe?!" questioned the shadowy figure above. "What the hell kind of a name is Maybe?"
"What was that?" asked another one of the officers, before he could turn to see it, the figure flew away. "Musta been the wind."
Not too far away Exile stood looking over his section of the city.
"Where is he?"
As he turns to head towards his apartment he hears a timid voice behind him.
"Exile... Exile.. it's really you."
"Who'd you expect? Mickey Rooney?"
*cut to scene of Mickey Rooney auditioning for the part of Fallout Boy on the Simpsons (Jimminy Jillickers)*
*snicker* "Uhh.. sir... here." The young man hands Exile a package.
"What's this?"
"Open it."
"I loooovvve presents." comments Exile as he opens the package revealing a leather jacket with his symbol on the back.
"Cool huh?" says the fan. "I had it made in case I ever met you. See mine."
The fan turns around showing Exy the Exile symbol on his back with 'Fan Club' written under it.
"I have a fan club?"
"Not yet.. I'm making one."
"Well thanks.. Uh..."
"Thompson.. Jack Thompson."
"Since you're my first fan I guess I should give you something." Exile creates a bust and a signed picture of himself and gives it to the beaming fan. Then he puts on his new jacket and flies towards his apartment.
Derek while making his way back to the apartment (now out of costume) spots a TV display at an Electronics store, suddenly the picture flickers into one of a man sitting at a desk.
"Attention all availiable heros/vigilantes. I am Dr. Maybe. I have fifteen nuclear varheads aimed at ze most populous areas of Parodiopolis. Zey vill be fired if I do not receive thirty million dollars in two days. Come and get me. MWA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA"
Dr. Maybe hits a button on his control console.
"Stupid thing. TURN OFF DAMMIT!" (end of transmission)
Derek thinks to himself "Damn... and to make matters worse the Lair Legion is out of town."
------------------------------------------------------------------------
The Lairjet at that moment.
spiffy watches a rogue mosquito land on his arm and swats it with his fern.
"The wrath of the indestructible fern!" he screams.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Back in Parodiopolis.
Derek walks, in a way that he will not be noticed, into a back alley and gets into costume. He then heads to the Police Headquarters.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
At the Police HQ. Exile floats by a window and eavesdrops on about three conversations looking for one mentioning Dr. Maybe.
"You see he wants to be found."
"What da ya mean?"
"He left his address in the corner of his broadcast. Good thing you were taping 'COPS'."
"Wanna coffee?"
"Yeah. I'll go with ya."
Exile rushes in the open window and copies the address, sticks it in his pocket and flies to the top of another building.
"Let's see here... RUSSIA! I HAVE TO GO TO RUSSIA?! Greeeeaaat now of all times.. well there goes my cable."
Suddenly Exy is engulfed by a green light and he is pulled into the hellish training ground once more.*
"Derek, do you remember me?"
"YOU AGAIN?! Please no more Aspirin jokes."** (*/** Exy #1-2)
"The only reason why I'm within fifty yards of you is because you are needed in Russia."
"Kay.. um... where's the bathroom?"
"Shut up and get in the portal!!"
Derek step through the portal and reappears in a Russian back alley. Then he tears the road map from a Russian phone book and flies to Dr. Maybe's mansion.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Here we are... Damn these people can't spell."
Exy kicks the door down and enters the Russian room. He walks further into it and runs into a wall where, according to what his eyes perceive, shouldn't be one. He looks at it more closely to discover the 'room' is a painting. Then the floor falls out from under him and he lands into a network on metal chutes that lead him to a dungeon cell (All bad guys have dungeons... right?... guys?)
"This is like something from Bugs Bunny."
Just then a medium sized figure emerges from the shadows.
"Ello young man, Zis never appen in your 'ome country? I 'ope you enjoy your accommodations."
Zen.. I mean Then the... uh... Maybster turns and exits the room leaving Exile with his thoughts.
Exile strains against his bonds to find they're made of rubber.
"What is with this guy?"
Exy breaks the jokes/restraints.
"Now to Dr. Evi... Maybe."
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Dammit vhen vill the yankee scum pay me?"
"When you get a job for us... but even that's a maybe. Maybe."
"Vhat?! 'Ow did you git out? Zose bonds vere high grade rubber!"
With that the Doc hit a button on his control console and deliberately sets off the countdown the Parodiopolis's extinction.
"Now you must chose... git ze bad guy or save ze city."
Exy stands looking at the mad doctor, then he looks at the back of Maybe's computer tracing the plug-in to the wall socket. He then unplugs it.
"Dammit! I knew I shouldn't 'ave plugged ze computer in over zere!"
Exy lunges at him punching the Doctor in the face. Then his kicks him in the chest sending him reeling towards a lazer grid used to house Maybe's inventions. Maybe's back comes in contact with the wall and his left hand the grid, cutting it off. The incredibly mad doctor yells while writhing in pain;
"Damn you .. uh come closer.. I can't read your name on your costume."
"It's says Exile. My friends call me Exy, you're not one of my friends."
"Thank you.. now allow me to finish.. DAMN YOU EXILE... DAMN YOU TO HELL!"
"Been there... too hot."
Then Maybe hits a button on his no-longer-hidden-remote-control, activating a force field around the Doctor and a series on bombs placed throughout the mansion. Just as explosions can be heard Exile leaps out the window but doesn't make it, a green light is seen forming around him when it disappears, so does he.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
An erie green flash is seen above Derek's apartment building. Exile steps out and unsuits, rolling up his jacket and placing it under his arm. He walks down the stairs and into his room in the apartment.
"Derek, is that you? You gotta hear about my day!"
Next Issue: You'll have to wait and see.
Exile #5
"Rejection" Part 1
LAST ISSUE: The delirious Dr. Maybe was defeated by Exile and his mansion destroyed.
Our story begins with a troublesome seventeen year old walking innocently down an unused road. (And now a word no story could do without) Suddenly he is surrounded by an erie green light, the second it fades away, so does he.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
In the hell-like training ground once used by Exile (Which was later proved to be an illusion [Exile #2])
"Good evening, young man."
"Who.. who are you?" The surprized youth stammered.
"Your new trainer."
"Trainer.. what for"
"Do you know of a man named Exile?"
"Oh yeah.. that's the bastich that put my foopin' (foop=censor) brother in the slammer." (Exile #3)
"Well, how would you like to get back at him? I could train you, give you strength, agility and some of those wristbands he wears."
"When?"
"Whenever you'd like."
"NOW!"
"Very well." said the corrupted member of the Observing Eye.
The man in the brown robe repeatedly goes over how to use the young man's new powers and the IDECDs.
"So I'm the same as Exile?"
"Everything but your symbol and trenchcoat... and your name... REJECT!"
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In the woods outside the city, Jack Thompson stands knee deep in the hole he has been digging.
"Whew... Derek can you help me for a couple hours? Besides all you've been doing is looking back at the city all morning."
"Huh?.. Sure Jacko. Uh... what are you doing?"
"I'm digging a cave for Exile!" said Jack enthusiastically.
"Wha? This? That looks more like an eathworm hole."
Jack sticks his tongue out at Derek. "Very funny. Actually myself and the Exiles (Exile's fan club Jack's been working on.) were going to donate it to him for a base of operations."
"Why not just raise some money and give it to him to make his own out of the way place. Plus I don't think he'd appreciate fan's knocking on the door 24 hours a day."
"Great idea!" Jack jumps in his rented car and puts the pedal to the metal leaving Derek in a cloud of dust.
"Thanks for the ride Jacko...."
Derek suits up remembering his jacket is in his appartment. "Dammit! Fine I'll just make a new one." Once the new jacket is completed he flies back into town heading for home.
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Meanwhile Reject has been reeking havoc at city hall. Television reports... um... report that Exile has gone mad with power and the mayor orders a manhunt for him.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Elsewhere Exy has just entered Hell's Bathroom when he hears a woman scream;
"There he is! There's the guy who's been destoying city hall!"
"Wha? Little old me? Destroy? I need an aspr.."
Before he can finish his sentence Exy is knocked from behind into a chimmney.
"I save the city from total annhilation and this is what I get.... what a bunch of ingrates."
"Yes this is what you get."
"Greeeaaaat andother extremely happy Parodiopolian."
"Name's Reject and your as good as dead!"
NEXT ISSUE: The beginning of an end. (someone dies)
Exile #6
Rejection Part 2
Exile floated, starring in disbelief at the figure in front of him.
"You... you're me!"
"Not exactly." said the figure as he punched Exy in the face "I'm your angel of death!" The trenchcoat wonder then spun around and created a rather large knife and attempted to shove it between Exy's ribs.
"Whoa! That's not fightin' fair!" Exile kicks the weapon from Reject's grip. He then grabs the imposter's leg and hurls him into a building.
"You think that will stop me!" screamed the not-so-second-rate doppleganger. "Take this." Reject then blasted Exile with simulated electricity from his wristbands. "You want to know something funny, Exile.. you weren't worth my time." This was the last thing Derek heard before slipping into unconsiousness, he didn't even feel the man in black armor and a red cape pick him up and fly him to safety.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
"He's waking up!" yelled Lisa to the other member's of the Lair Legion.
"Wha? Where am I? And why is there a paper bag on my head?"
"Calm down Mr. Questions," commented Finny. "You're in thre Lair. Home of the Lair Legion... and the bag is on your head because we removed your costume to examine your wounds."
"Let me guess you figured it was the red button." Exy hit the button and ripped the infernal bag off his head to see the two Legionaires standing in front of him.
"I'm Fin Fang Foom, but my friends call me Finny." said the dragon as he returned to human form.
"Nice to meet ya. I'm E.."
Lisa:"Exile."
"Yeah. Judging from your clothing and the fact that your the one of the only female members of the Lair Legion I'd say you're Lisa."
Just then a barage of noises could be heard coming from upstairs and the whole Lair League (minus Lisa and Finny who were already there) assembled before Exile.
"Avaturn? You're an LLer?"
Avatar looks at Exy with a little irritation. "Yes I am.. otherwise I would not be standing in this room.
"You know Avvy?" question the King of the Sea-Monkies (Banjoooo)
"Know 'im? He's my partner.. of course I know him. What I want to know is who saved me?"
"That would be me, partner."
"Would you mind telling us what happened? asked DK.
Exy informs the LLers of Reject and how they met.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
45 minutes later
"I still can't get over that name... Exile. Your no Exile.. yer a pretty popular guy."
Exile looks straight at GE in total annoyance and Goldy hops behind the sofa saying nothing but "Eep!"
"Hey I just remembered something."
"What's that?" queried spiffy.
"A surprise. Um... Finny and Avvy could you come with me and CSFB! could you count to twelve million? If we're not back by then come after us."
"Okay, onetwothreefourfive...(etc.)"
"I'm with you Exy."
"As it appears... so am I, partner."
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
As soon as Exile, Fin Fang Foom and Avatartar reached the center of Hell's Bathroom. They found that the appartment below his was trashed and it's occupant killed.
"NOOOOOO!!!!"screamed Exy as he headed straight in through Police barriers and caution tape. "Eleni.... no." He ran up as the Paramedics were closing the body bag. "Wait..." said Exile, full of emotion. He looked straight down at the fragile face he had failed to protect. "What happened here?" was the last thing he managed to choke out before he started crying.
"The place was invaded by.. well here." the officer handed Exile a note adressed to him from...
"REJECT!!!!"
"Partner... can you and Finny go back to the mansion?"
"Why would that be?"asked Avvy.
"Exy, you shouldn't just run blindly after a guy like this... he's too smart. He's already left one body.. isn't that enough?"
"Hardly. You know.. I had been seeing her for six months now and I knew her three years before that.. she was the closest thing to family I had.. I was going to propose to her dammit!"
"Even so.. is it worth your life?"
"Yes.. yes it is."Exile said as his eyes grow increasingly redder.
With that Exy took off as fast as he could for the address on the note. When Finny and Avatar tried to follow Exile created a force field around the building. Avatar could've easily phased through the field, but he sensed his partner needed some space. (5 minutes later Exile would release them).
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Back at the mansion.
CSFB!: "eleven-million-nine-hundred-ninety-nine-thousand-nine-hundred-ninety-nine-twelve-million... Time to go!"
The Legionaires piled into the Lairjet and set off to Exile's appartment under the guidence of Goldeneyed. (He's the only one besides Avvy that knows where it is.)
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
"Glad you came, Exile, I'm touched"
"Yeah yer gonna be touched alright.. in the head! You killed her asshole!"
Exile swung at Reject's face but missed.
"Didn't your trainer teach you not to fight out of rage?"
"Yea, he did but I'm taking the words of Homer J. Simpson." Exile swung again but Reject grabbed his arm and flung him to the top of another building.
As the Legion arrives, they see Reject pounding the stuffing out of Exy.
"I told 'im." said the newly released Finny.
"This time you die, Exile!" Reject creates a stake and attempts to plunge it into Exy's chest, when Exile gets an arm free and blasts Reject with a scarlet beam of unfiltered Inter-Dimensional energy in the face. He stumbles backwards into a Golden light and vanishes along with it.
"GE did you.."
"No... Ned."
NEXT ISSUE: Exy's base is created.
Exile #7 Rejection Part 3 (of 3)
"Aftermath"
(Takes place before GE #12)
LAST ISSUE: Exile got his @$$ kicked and lost his girlfriend.
Exile stands atop the newly rebuilt Twin Parody Towers looking over the city at Hell's Bathroom. Oh sure, he had friends, even a partner, but none were seen anywhere near him. Tonight was another in a series for remorse. Crime had started to flourish again in the city's slums while it's protector was away.
He remembered every moment of terror caused by.. him. The person in question caused more trouble for Exy in one day than he'd ever thought possible.
Suddenly the spot where Exile was standing was vacant, as if he was never there.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Derek walked into his low-rate appartment to hear; "Has Exile taken a week off?" come from the TV. Which he immediately turned off.
"Hey I was watchin' that!"
Derek said nothing to his friend. He just walked into his room and picked up the phone and called Bry.
"Hello Lair Legion HQ. Lisa's Room."
"Hi Lise. It's Exy, is Bry there?"
"Yeah.. one sec"
"Physcho's R Us, you name 'em, we mame 'em!"
*CLICK*
"What'd I do?"
Lisa: "You do know who that was."
Bry: "SHIT! Uh.. Lise.. I need to go."
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
The doorbell rings inside the appartment of Jack Thompson and Derek Foreman. Jack opens the door to find a stranger standing behind it.
"Uh.. who're you?"
"I'm Bry Katz. Is Derek in?"
"Nah. Ya just missed him."
"Okay. Thanks."
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Elsewhere at that moment, the Observing Eye have gathered their eldest members int a court-like room. The corrupt member stands alone in the center of them, looking straight up at the eldest one. They had been there for hours, going over the various crimes of the defendant. He had plead guilty to the creation of a super-villian and had given his side of the story.
"Has the jury reached a verdict?"
"Yes, sir."
"How do you find the defendant?"
"Guilty on all charges."
"Muldorf, you are hearby stripped of your powers and sentenced to eternity life in an inter-dimesional limbo, where you will learn the error of your ways."
A sinister grin creeps across the face of Muldorf, and he strides with the O.E. guards to await his punishment.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
The next day.
The Exiles (Exy's fan club) is gathered to greet the hero at a local carnival.
"There he is!" shouts a fan as Exile flies into view. He touches down just inches from the stage where Jack is standing holding a big cheque.
"Ladies, Gentlemen, boys and girls.. Exile!"
"Hello and thanks for coming. Some people say I've taken a vacation for a week, but I'm here and I'm reannouncing my status as protector of Hell's Bathroom. You know, with the coming of my nemesis I forgot I'm only human, and a life was sacrificed for that. I want to tell everyone, Exile is here to stay!"
"Thank you Exile, and for our appreciation we give you this cheque for One million dollars to help you in your crusade against crime."
"Thank you.. thank you all."
"Exile will be signing autographs at the booth closest to the parking lot. Enjoy the rest of your day."
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
That night, Exile stands looking across the harbour (near Hell's Bathroom) at a bridge leading to an island with a sole warehouse on it.
"That's it.. right there."
"What's it? Right where?" comments GE as he steps casually out of a portal.
"What're you doing here? And what's the deal with you on the phone?"
"I'm here to talk to you, and Lisa never told me it was you."
"Next time could you skip the remarks?"
"Sure. Oh.. I got you something to cheer you up." GE hands Exy a small red ball with a button in the center."
"Thanks! Um.. what is it?"
"It's a Pokeball. Haven't you ever seen the show?"
"No."
"It's on NBC after Hellfrasier." (had to do it even if Pokemon is only on WB)
Derek depresses the button and releases the Pokemon inside.
Bulbasaur: "Bulbasaur!"
Exy: "Uh.. right."
"Look at mine!"
Squirtle: "Squirtle!"
Bulbasaur: "Bulbasaur!"
Squirtle: "Squirtle!"
Bulbasaur: "Bulbasaur!"
"Oh great!"
NEXT ISSUE: Exile gets a credit card and his own base.
Exile #8
"Homecoming"
"Mr. Isle, you must sign here."
"That's it? That's all I have to do to get a credit card and account?"
"Now you must sign all of these." The clerk hands Exy a stack of papers about six inches thick.
"Can I do this at home?"
"No."
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An hour and a half later.
"Ok. Last one."
"Thank you sir. You'll recieve your card in 2 weeks."
"Dammit! I need one now!"
"You can use your cheque book."
"Oh.. heh.. sorry."
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Exile flies straight for the island he saw the night before. Hoping to beat anyone who may be interested to it. When he arrives there he is relieved to see he's to only one there. Then with his I.D.E.C.D.s he recreates the same frequency as a cell phone and calls the number on the for sale sign.
"Hello Remax, what can I do for you."
"Hi, my name is Xavier Isle and I'm interested in the warehouse on the waterfront."
"Okay. When would you like a tour?"
"I don't want one. I'd just like to purchase the land."
"We'll send a salesperson right away."
"Thank you."
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Within minutes the salesperson has arrived and left feeling wonderful having sold the piece of **** on the island his company hadn't been able to unload for years.
"Hmm.. I'll have to do some remodeling." With that Exile created a fireball and hurled it towards the building, incinerating it. He walked over to the charred ground and looked for a footing to build off of.
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A short while later the exterior was complete. He had totally rebuilt the warehouse with titanium walls. But on the inside it would be like a mansion. No metal showing anywhere (except the garage and workshop). He stroled inside his creation to find that it was immaculate. Now all he had to do was furnish it. Within a few hours it was done. It was beautiful.
"Avvy has GOT to see this." Again Derek uses his wristbands as a cell phone and called his partner.
"Yes, Exile, I will be there in a matter of minutes."
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After Avatar had recieved the tour.
"Partner, I seem to be in a fix with regards to my accomodations."
"What da ya mean?"
"The other LLers have ordered me to move or get rid of my Charizard."
"I should have room. The guest room is closest to the kitchen. And it's got it's own bathroom and snack bar."
"Thank you, Exile."
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One week later. (following Avvy #5)
"Damn Charizard... needed a snow scoop for that.. hey wait a second."
A few minutes later a silver robot quite like R2D2 rolls out of Derek's workshop, followed by a gold colored android (like C3P0). They kept moving until they came upon the.. mess Charizard had made.
"Greetings I am C4P1" said the droid to the pile of fecial matter.
"Dammit. Gotta adjust the optical sensors. There we go."
"Master Derek, I am not programmed to pick up shit."
"C4 you were created as a maid. That's your job. R3D3's is to be a rolling trash can. Now get to work!"
To be continued...
Exile#9
(continued from Avatar #7)
C4P1 walked casually to the old woman in Exile/Avatar's base and handed her a cup of tea.
"Where did you say your daughter worked?
"Raven Technologies. *sniff* She was a scientist there. You'll have to excuse me."
"Raven Tech? The defense contractors?"
"Yes." said the woman, regaining her composure.
"That's all I really need to know. If I find anything or need your help again, I'll call you."
"Thank you young man. your a saint."
The door closed softly behind the troubled woman as Derek brought up the blueprints for Raven Tech on his computer console.
"Let's see. Her lab is right here. Ok she said that her daughter didn't go home after work."
"Have trouble sir?"
"Not really considering that a woman has gone missing and Avvy is no where to be found. What makes you think there's something wrong, C4?" commented Derek dripping with sarcasm.
"Coffee?"
"No. I've got to go. Could you please keep those damn Pokemon from ****ing on the carpet?"
"Yes sir."
Five minutes later he emerged empty handed.
"You won't find her there."
Exile turned coming face to face with a golden figure with... wings. (What'd you expect me to say. And DON'T go there!)
"Who the--?"
Exile wasn't able to finish the sentence, due to a golden fist in his mouth.
"Your partner is nothing more than a murderer. I was tracking him down when he disappeared. WHERE IS HE?"
"I don't know."
"I don't buy that."
The golden figure swings again for Exy's face but finds a metal shield in her way.
"Listen Lady. I'd stay here and kick your scrawny ass but I have better things to do. So if you'll excuse me!"
"You don't know what he's done."
"Yes I do. He has saved my life more than once. I'm trying to locate him. So you're either with me or against me. Your choice."
"Fine I will go with you, but I want to hear what your friend has to say."
"Remember this place is heavily armored and the guards are instructed to fire on sight."
"Don't worry 'bout me lady. Worry 'bout yer own hide!"
Just then two guards on the ground spot them and shove their guns to their shoulders, but before they can fire two scarlet beams of energy slice through the air and catch them in the chest. Sending them flying to the ground with a dull thud.
"You could've just blasted the guns out of their hands."
"You're point? They'd probably pull out another gun and shoot at us."
"We could've used them to guide us around the place, but nooo you just had to knock them out cold."
"They're only guards. They wouldn't know where to go." Exile then called C4 and asked him to bring up the Raven Tech blueprints on his computer, then asked the droid to guide them through the complex. "See isn't this much.. ea...si... er." spat out Exy as a massive robot planted it's foot in front of him.
"Let me handle this." The angelic woman flew up to the head of the robot and circled. It moved it's head to track and left Exy with a clear shot.
"I see. I'll let him play with this." With that Exile created a robot of the same size and instructed it to attack the other. "Let's go! Let the walking short-circuits fight!"
The two flew into the complex and the door slammed shut.
"I'm beginning to regret this."
To be continued...
Exile #10
(Takes place after Avatar #8 and before GE #14)
As Avatar flew home after an exhausting (for any other person since Avvy doesn't need rest) week. He noticed that Exile was not following him. He searched the skies all around him but the man in the leather jacket was nowhere to be found. He even used his city-wide locator... still nothing.
"Beautiful, isn't it?"
"Wha? Where'd you come from?"
"I was here all along. My name is Guumar, and I am the watcher of the one known as Goldeneyed. Your cousin. You see we had forseen a great trouble for him. So in advance I had my understudy create an ally. Another mutant with the ability to tap into the Inter-Dimensional Energy supply."
"Wha? You're saying I'm not human! But my parents--"
"Your family has produced many mutants over the years. It's in your genes. But that isn't the problem now. Your cousin's life is in danger."
"I'm lower than human.."
"No your not. Your just gifted."
"What's my power?"
"Remember those Scarlet blasted you've been firing? Those don't come from the IDECDs. Speaking of which, yuo no longer need them. You've downloaded the power from them, except you have a limit, but it's hard to determine what it is."
"What about my costume?"
"It was a mental construction. It was also transferred, except you can alter it."
"It was a what?"
"Nevermind, now you must leave. Your cousin is in great danger. After it is over either myself or my apprentice will contact you. Farewell."
"What the!?" exclaimed Exile as he felt a disturbance in the inter-dimensional energy supply, like someone had just drained his powers. He followed the anomoly to its source
