Tales of the Parodyverse

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This message The Guy With the Ring was posted by Hatman on Tuesday, January 28, 2003 at 15:57.

Visionodonary Sackins was a Bobbit. He was one of many Bobbits dwelling in a land of rolling hills and green valleys, of beautiful trees and a bright blue sky; the Shear. To the common man’s eye, a Bobbit would appear to be the size of a child. The tallest Bobbit of record grew to reach an astonishing, by Shear reckoning, 3 feet 13 inches; many Bobbits are unwilling to admit a Bobbit may reach 4 feet in height. Their lack of size lead some other races to call them halflings. Others prefer to call them “fake men”.


Visionodonary was not an exceptional Bobbit. He lived in Sack End with his uncle, Aposto Sackins. Visionodonary enjoyed a good mug of ale and a pipe between his teeth, and a song to brighten the day; all that is required for a happy Bobbit life. He had a good many friends, but none as loyal as Asilwise Clonegee, Asil for short. Asil did some work for Aposto in his garden, keeping the flowers happy and the weeds away.


Aposto himself was a Bobbit somewhat out of the ordinary. It would soon be his 111th birthday, but to look at the old Bobbit one would think him not a day over 55, and a healthy 55 at that. Aposto was a queer Bobbit to many others; in his youth, he had sought adventure while other Bobbits preferred their day-to-day lives. He had gathered many treasures in his travels, some very dear to him. Precious even. The only thing possibly more valuable to him was his nephew, Visionodonary. Possibly.


On the day of Aposto’s birthday an elderly man rode into Bobbiton, the village where Visionodonary and Aposto lived. The man drove a cart behind a single horse, the back of the cart loaded with packages. He wore a long grey robe and a bowler to top his head. The man drove his cart straight through Bobbiton only to halt upon reaching Sack End. He disembarked from his cart and knocked on the door with his cane.


“Nobody’s home!” called a voice from the other side of the door. “No time for visitors!”


“Not even for very old friends, dear chap,” he replied. The door was quickly yanked open. The small Bobbit looked up at his dearest friend in all of Inbetween Earth.


“Sir Mumphrey the Grey!” Aposto exclaimed in surprise. He ran to embrace his old friend.


“Yes indeed Aposto. You would not think I would miss your birthday, would you now?” The two separated. “Right then, are you to keep a weary traveler on his feet any longer, or will you be starting the tea?” smiled the old man.


“Come in, come in!” exclaimed Aposto. He took Mumphrey’s hat and cane as soon as they passed through the door. “Sit, sit! I will start the tea straight away!”


Mumphrey had to duck his head in the small home of his friend; most Bobbit houses were not built to accommodate the Tall Folk. He took a seat in the den and pulled out his pipe.


“How are the preparations coming then, old boy?” asked Mumphrey. Aposto came out of the kitchen carrying a tray laden with a teapot, cups, some assorted cheeses and breads, and a single flower in a vase. Bobbits prided themselves on their hospitality, and any excuse for a mid-day snack was a good one.


“Well, the packing is nearly complete. I only need to leave some instructions for Visionodonary…wait, you meant the party, didn’t you?” Aposto set the tray down on the table and began to pour the tea. Mumphrey held his cup out for him.


“So I take it then you intend to carry out your scheme?” Mumphrey took a sip of his tea.


“I do indeed. Time left for one last adventure. I’m leaving and I doubt I shall ever return. I will be leaving all of my possessions with Visionodonary. I shall miss him dearly, but I can’t allow that to hold me back.” Aposto took hold of the bread and cheese platter and held it out invitingly for Mumphrey.


“Just tea, thank you.” Aposto set the plate down. “You are staying for the party, I assume.”


“Of course, of course! It is my 111th birthday, Mumphrey my friend. This will be a night to remember! Let us drink to it!” Aposto then took a long drink from his teacup.


“A night to remember indeed,” replied Mumphrey.

* * * * *


So here it is, the first part in the Parodyverse version of "The Lord of the Rings". This project started when I was bored waiting for class to start so I started putting Parodyverse characters to LOtR characters. I've spent some good time thinking about who should be who, and observing actual Parodyverse relationships as best as possible as well. I'm going to be doing these in very short parts, so as I don't leave this incomplete as I so often do with stories. If anyone wants to do a chapter, let me know and I can tell you who is who and what part to do. The next part is pretty much complete, and if all goes well I'll be posting these once a week.

Hope you all like it!

~Hat~

This poster posed from 142.161.0.91 when they posted

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