Tales of the Parodyverse

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L!
Thu Dec 16, 2004 at 02:38:49 pm EST
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Chad & Ronnie meet the Night Nurse!
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It was a dark & stormy night at the Phantomhawk Memorial Hospital. As always, Nurse Grace O' Mercy was working the night shift.

Just then over the intercom could be heard "Dr. Martin, paging Dr. Martin. Your needed in Podiatry!"

Then it can be heard, "Nurse O' Mercy, paging Nurse O' Mercy. Your needed in Exam Room 4!"

Seeing as she always gets the weirdoes, they will want her to examine someone who's not playing a full deck of cards. Grace gets up from her coffee break, she doesn't drink coffee, but it always nice to take a break. She walks out of the cafeteria & over to the exam room, the medical chart for the patient is waiting for her, she takes it out of the holder on the door & looks over the chart.

"Hmm.. Patient has come to this hospital & other's repeatedly because of jelly beans being lodged up his right and/or left nostrils." She thinks to herself. Then, she opens the door & sees who she is dealing with...

----------------------

Night Nurse # whatever number this is!
Jellybeans, the men who stick them up their noses & the vampiric nurses who help get them out!

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Sitting in the small room are two men. One was sitting on the examining table, He was fully disrobed & was wearing the flimsy night gown, but is he is still wearing his boxer shorts. You could see the bright yellow boxer shorts from under the gown. The patient's clothes were in a pile on a chair across from him. They were two toned, either red or yellow. The patient has a big, red afro with a small yellow comb stuck in it. He also wore a glasses that were too big for his head but they didn't look like them were going to fall off.

The other man in the room, sat quietly on one of the chairs next to the pile of clothes. He looked normal enough (But it's the quiet ones that always get you) & looked slightly disheveled. He had a flannel shirt on; it's not buttoned up or tucked in. From under the flannel shirt, one could see he is wearing a dark grey t-shirt with the words 'Inflatable Monkey' on it & the picture of a monkey-like balloon on it. Grace guessed it was a shirt from one of the band's performances. He is also wearing a pair of well worn denim jeans & blue Converse tennis shoes. His dark brown hair looks not to have combed in awhile. He was also wearing a pair of horned rimmed glasses. He is also carrying an accordion.

Grace sighs & then says "Now, Mr...." She stops & looks at the patient's last name "Mr. Beeslyhuxtoy ?"

He nodded.

"Good. Why have you come to us tonight ? Just from the looks of you, It seems that you have a jellybean up your left nostril."

"I have 2 up there!" He said happily.

"Well, just let me get some forceps & I'll pull them out for you. Ok?"

He nodded.

"Good. Now according to your file, you do this or have this done to you a lot."

"Yeah, it's a nervous habit. My trench coat pockets are lined with jellybeans, I stick a bean up my nose, it relaxes me. After awhile I blow it out & feed them to Little Cat."

"Who ?"

"Him!" Mr. Beeslyhuxtoy said as he pointed to his friend who was holding a small brown & white hamster, who was eating a sort of slimy green jellybean.

"oh." Grace said as she turned her attention back to the beans in the patient's nose. "You know that a diet of only snot covered jelly beans can't be good for a hamster like him.. her."

"We know. But, he likes them."

"He needs some more healthy foods in his diet, also."

"We try but, Little Cat refuses to eat anything but jelly beans."

Little Cat burps a small burp, the duo laugh a bit & the hamster then falls sleep in the man's hands. Then, the man gently puts the hamster on the counter.

"So are you two.. uh, you know, 'Happy' ?" Grace asked the patient.

"Yeah, Me & Chad are happy. Why do you ask ?"

"No, I don't think your understanding my use of the word. Are you & Chad 'Happy'" Grace said & she used air quotes when she said the word Happy.

"What do you mean by 'Happy' ?" Mr. Beeslyhuxtoy asked, he also uses air quotes when he says the word Happy.

Grace searches for the right word to say, then gives up & finally says "Are you & Chad Gay ?"

"No!" Mr. Beeslyhuxtoy yelled & was offended that she would ever think of that sort of thing. "We've both had girlfriends. Many in fact! Were just between girlfriends right now. Right, Chad ?" Mr. Beeslyhuxtoy then said more calmly.

Grace turns to Chad again. She see's him shake his head 'Yes' very excitedly with an almost crazy smile on his face. The smile instantly fades. Grace then turned back to Mr. Beeslyhuxtoy.

"Does Chad ever talk ?" She asked as she got a part of a blue jellybean out of her patient's nose.

"Sure, he does. He talks to me all the time. He's just a very shy person around people he doesn't know."

"oh."

"Since you've been asking the questions, can I ask you one ?"

"You just did."

"Can I ask you another one ?"

"Sure."

"How is it being an undead american ?"

"What ?" Grace said a bit shocked.

"You are, aren't you ?" Mr. Beeslyhuxtoy says & then turns to Chad "I'd say vampire. Wouldn't you, Chad ?"

Chad shook his head yes.

"What gave me away ?" Grace asked.

"Nothing, really. It's just that me & Chad seem to have this unnatural power that attracts the weirdoes of the world, but repels the ladies! Since your a lady, you must be a weirdo. Plus, I heard about this female vampire that lived around this area."

"Oh." Grace said, never really thinking of herself as a weirdo.

"Let's see..." Mr. Beeslyhuxtoy said thinking of the ladies he knows. "One lady we met called herself Pregos, the Impregnator. Me & Chad just happen to be where she crashed her spaceship. I'm just glad we got away from her without a baby. Actually, Me & Chad have met a couple of aliens, the one named Joey was memorable. I'm not sure he liked us but we liked him. Then, there are the Clevelarians, I wonder if they ever succeeded in their mission ? I'm guessing them didn't sense we never heard from them again. Oh, then there was Sex Bots from Planet Orgy, where we found that Me & Chad also repel non-human, robot women, too. Then, there's..."

Grace interrupts Mr. Beeslyhuxtoy "Can I have you hold still ? Your moving too much & it's hard getting hold of a bean."

"Oh, sorry." Mr. Beeslyhuxtoy said & stopped moving as much.
----------------------

Twenty minutes later...

After some more pulling, Grace finally got both jellybeans out. "There!" she said as she held on the jellybeans in his forceps.

"Can I give to Little Cat, now ?" Mr. Beeslyhuxtoy asked.

"Sure, I guess." She says as Mr. Beeslyhuxtoy takes the jellybean & places it next to the sleeping hamster. Little Cat starts to sniff the air, his little eyes then open up, Little Cat pounces on the jelly bean & starts to munch on it.

"Thank you, Miss O'Mercy!" Mr. Beeslyhuxtoy says & has his hand extended.

"Your welcome" Grace says & she shakes his hand.

Then over the intercom can be heard "Nurse O' Mercy, paging Nurse O' Mercy. Your needed in Exam Room 15! Code 24!"

Grace thinks "Code 24? Oh, Visionary must have been set on fire by his ward, again."

As Grace leaves the room & on to her next case, she can see the Mr. Beeslyhuxtoy & his friend dancing.

THE END!


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FOOTNOTES:

Chad & Ronnie's full names are Chadwick L. Swiss & Ronald Arnold Gerrimoto Beeslyhuxtoy.

The "Joey" they mentioned is Joey Z., a character created by Spaztic Chyld. Joey, Chad & Ronnie have met twice.

The Clevelarians are an alien race that is bent on taking over the US government and twisting it into a big ryloofian pretzel. If they have been successful is unknown. The Clevelarians were also created by Spaztic Chyld.

It is tradition that in most Chad & Ronnie stories to have them dancing at least once in them.



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