Tales of the Parodyverse

Post By

Dancer via Visionary
Fri Sep 03, 2004 at 07:04:00 am EDT
Subject
Third Thoughts
[ Reply ] [ Email To Friend ] [ Tales of the Parodyverse ]
Next In Thread >>

Third Thoughts



[Previously, on “As the Lair Legion Turns”: Visionary and Hallie have been on a secret date (in Untold Tales #60, it says in the footnotes here). Next day, Vizh is going to give Hallie flowers (like all men do the morning after – not! Did I mention men were slime?) when he falls foul of Sarah Shepherdson being nice to him (in Vizh’s “Second Thoughts” story). Shep thinks Vizh is actually keen on Dancer, and manages to kindly put him off – until he mentions “the kiss”, and she realises she’s been talking at cross-purposes and mis-advising the possibly fake love-bunny. Meanwhile, Lisa has been encouraging Sir Mumphrey Wilton to stay on with the Lair Legion (as seen in “Lisa’s last Word”), working on the theory that if he hasn’t got the strength to stand, he can’t leave. All clear? Then we’ll move on.]



[The Scene: The Lair Gym. Lisa is crushing something with her thighs. Just for practice.]



Dancer: Lisa. Hi. Um…



Lisa: So what's the problem, kiddo? Not another accidental marriage, surely?



Dancer: Noooo. Not this week. No, the Question is… how do you feel about dating team-mates?



Lisa: Hmm. Normally I don’t do it.



Dancer: Umm, Lisa, they do call you the amorous advocatrix.



Lisa: Oh, sure, I’ll boink ‘em. But not dating. Too slow, and most of them aren’t that great conversationalists anyway, y’know. It’s much more time efficient to drag them into the kitchen, grab the kool whip, and go for it.



Dancer: That would explain those stains on the breakfast bar.



Lisa: Why? Is there some Legion-hunk you’ve decided to take for a test drive?



Dancer: Oh no. No, nothing like that. I don’t date co-workers, for all the reasons I said back in Vizh’s story. No, I was thinking about you.



Lisa: Me? Well, usually I prefer the guys, Dancer, not that I’m not flattered.



Dancer: No. Not me dating you. But I spoke to Yo.



Lisa: Yeah, well if you’re experimenting with bi that’s the way to go in my opinion. Best of both worlds.



Dancer: Wait. Time out. We’re miscommunicating here. I spoke to Yo because she’s the only other sometimes-female in the team right now except you and me. Unless you count Cressie, and for dating purposes that would get very very weird. And I asked Yo if she’d dated anyone in the LL recently. And she hasn’t.



Lisa: You’re thinking we should set her up with someone? I guess Hatman could use a break from CSFB!’s mystery dates.



Dancer: Again, no. Although come to think of it… Anyway, Yo hasn’t been dating any Legionnaires. I haven’t either, because of my firm rules and strong moral character, whatever they are saying in my sealed personnel dossier. And I happen to know that a certain person in the Lair Mansion recently had something of a hot date with a team-mate.



Lisa: Ah. Right. And by a process of elimination you’ve guessed that it was me.



Dancer: It was? Really? I mean, I didn’t think you two were that compatible. But you kissed!



Lisa, snorting: Kissing? Oh yeah, we sure kissed. He’s one hell of a kisser. I always say if you want a guy who knows what he’s doing, find one that’s been married. Experience counts, y’know.



Dancer: Yes. Although usually I’d prefer them to tell me they’re married before the morning after. Speaking purely theoretically.



Lisa: I was trying to keep this quiet, actually. Didn’t want to embarrass him or undermine his authority.



Dancer: I’m afraid Kerry already guessed.



Lisa: Wow. That kid’s got potential.



Dancer: If it helps, I think your date was pretty much a success. I mean, he was grinning like a Cheshire cat afterwards.



Lisa: He was grinning like a Cheshire cat during, kiddo. I’m the best there is at what I do. And given the situation I felt I needed to unship the whole repertoire.



Dancer: Of kissing.



Lisa: *smirks*



Dancer: There was more than kissing?



Lisa: Full body contact sports. I really needed to convince him to stay around, y’know. I had to convince him again and again.



Dancer: Wow. I mean, I knew he kept trying to weasel out of looking after those sociopath misfits, but you really take this morale officer job seriously, don’t you?



Lisa: No hardship, Dancer. I’ve gotta say I was very pleasantly surprised. Who’d have known he had that kind of energy.



Dancer, surprised: Yeah. It’s always the quiet ones I guess.



Lisa: So you’re saying he was looking for a return match?



Dancer: Looks like. You will be good to him, won’t you?



Lisa, continuing thigh exercises: Everyone says I’m very good.



Dancer: Except Vizh when he’s telling everybody you’re evil. Who’d have guessed…



Lisa: Aw, Vizh just keeps jockeying for position. He doesn’t like that I prefer to be on top.



Dancer: These things need working out in a relationship. But you’ll work it out eventually I guess.



Lisa: So you’ll keep my little secret? No need for the whole team to know I’ve been putting in some extra hours under sir?



Dancer: Oh sure. I guess I’m a little surprised, but they say opposites attract. And if the chemistry’s good…



Lisa: Sex. The sex is good. I was never good at chemistry or any other sciences. Except practical biology.



Dancer: Yeah, right. Well then, I guess I can only wish you luck. It’s probably just what he needs right now, and his feelings for you seem to run pretty deep.



Lisa: Really? I’ll… have to think about that. I thought it was just one of those casual flings, y’know. But if it’s serious… well, I’d better think.



Dancer: You don’t mind me mentioning it?



Lisa: Of course not. *Gets up and heads towards the shower* You’ve given me a lot to think about, kiddo. And anticipate.



[Dancer watches her go, her eyes still wide with surprise]



Dancer: Lisa… and Visionary? Wow.



Yo, who has just come in to the gym: What? What is?



Dancer: Ooops. Ah. Yo, you weren’t supposed to hear that. But since you did, guess what…?










pool-151-201-23-93.pitt.east.verizon.net (151.201.23.93) U.S. Network
Microsoft Internet Explorer 5/Windows 2000 (0.3 points)
[ Reply ] [ Email To Friend ] [ Tales of the Parodyverse ]
Follow-Ups:

Echo™ v2.1 © 2003-2005 Powermad Software
Copyright © 2004 by Mangacool Adventure