Tales of the Parodyverse

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Dancer via Vizh
Sun Dec 19, 2004 at 07:48:39 am EST
Subject
“Follies of Youth” Grand Finale Extravaganza Issue At Last!!!: “That Art For Mine Outbreak of Zitteths, Caitiff.”
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[Previously: One quiet day
Vizh (the poster, the one who is the Devil in disguise, not the nice loveable PV
character who never teases semi-innocent girls about their tragic pasts) sent me
a little e-mail story about Vizh (the nice one) e-mailing Dancer. It turned out
to be the start of the Follies of Youth saga, so I added the rest of chapter 1
and I sent it back to him to do chapter 2, after character Sarah had made an
unwise wish that she and all the Lair Legion were sixteen again so she could
show how responsible she was at that age and then extradimensional imp Eddie
granted the wish out of mischief. So next morning pretty much all the LL woke up
as if it was their sixteenth birthday (except CrazySugarFreakBoy of course, who
was sixty), with as they say hilarious consequences. If you want to know what
all the consequences were go have a look at the archive page at
http://www.chillwater.org.uk/HH/archive/others/follies/folliesindex.htm (now
with added brilliant art by poster-Vizh the Devil). Anyway, lots of other
writers joined in making this the longest round-robin story ever and one of the
best (thanx guys!) and it was all going well until Amazing Guy warned the Legion
that Eddie the Imp was really behind all this and Lisa summonsed him for the
Legion to deal with – and then Eddie zapped the whole team if to his bizarre
Eddielands or wherever. But now they’ve finally caught up with the tricky little
bugger and its showdown time, so Lair Legion Line Up! as spiffy would say just
before Donar sat on him, and let’s get on with the action, okay? Oh, and did I
mention that poster Visionary is the Devil?]

[The Scene: The Eddietorium, Eddie’s sanctum where he watches the multiverse on
his wide-screen TV set. Right now the LL seem to be trapped inside the TV, and
Eddie has the remote control.]

Eddie: There’s nothing good on TV these days. Perhaps I’ll just switch it off?

Mumphrey: By jove, these TV thingies are clever, aren’t they? How do they fit
all this scenery inside such a little box?

Al B. Harper: Ah. I’m glad you asked that. You see it all starts with the
cathode ray tube…

Mr Epitome: Did anyone bring a locker? It’s urgent.

CrazySugarFreakAdult: We have to get out of here. This is feeling too much like
a 60s Batman episode with giant props.

Dancer: We have to do something. That giant imp is about to change channels and
we might become an infomercial!

Hatman: Or a war film. Or a political debate. Or a televangelist service!

CSFA: Or a porn channel!

Trickshot: How does he manage to actually say smileys?

Amazing Guy: Watch out. I can sense Eddie’s going for the horizontal hold!

Dancer: That rotter. Nobody goes for my horizontal hold except Vizh.

Visionary: *Blushes*

Lisa: I summons Eddie to me. Again. And his remote control.

Eddie: Hey, that’s cheating. Ow!

Epitome: Just seeing if you’re immune to noogies. It’s research.

Yo: This is to be so boring. Yo is wanting to be going home and to be painting
Yo’s room black.

Al B: Pass me that remote control! I happen to have brought along a full
micro-welding kit.

Epitome: Hey, one nerd at a time! I’m noogieing Eddie at the moment!

Trickshot: Is that what you kids are calling it these days.

Eddie: Get off you big bully, or I’ll… *wiggles his nose and Mr Epitome falls to
the floor transformed into an action figure*

Amazing Guy: Wow! He is so much cooler like that. I wonder how many points of
flexion he has?

Lisa: Pass him over and I’ll check.

Mumphrey: Is now the moment to, um, assess his accessories? Perhaps it would be
better to sort out this imp bounder first, what?

Eddie: Give me my remote control back. It’s not yours!

Al B!: ‘Tis

Eddie: T’isn’t

Al B!: ‘Tis

Eddie: T’isn’t

*nods and changes Al B. into one of those robot toys that teach children math*
See, told you it wasn’t.

Cressida: ~~You do not seem to be a nice imp, so remote to stoat~~

Lisa: So that’s what a stoat looks like. *glances in puzzled half-memory at
Visionary*

Eddie: *gets bitten by stoat* Aaagh! *waggles fingers and turns Lisa into Lawyer
Slut Barbie*

Visionary: Do not go near her accessories if you want to live.

Cressida: ~~Is it ethical to turn an imp to shrimp?~~

Eddie, sucking fingers: Bibbettybobbetyboo! *transforms Cressida into one of
those transparent butterfly mobiles that spin round in the wind*

Mumphrey: I say! *bops Eddie on the nose* Take that, you scoundrel!

Trickshot: See, the line wasn’t funny until he actually hit the guy in the face.
We don’t get enough of this visual comedy in th’ Parodyverse.

Mumphrey, smiting again: And restore Miss Cressida to her, um, to her hot nude
sixteen year old form forthwith.

All male teen-Legionnaires: Yes!

Eddie: Ow! Ow! Ow! You people are proving to be huge pains in the ass.
*transforms Mumphrey into a carved wooden soldier*

Trickshot, firing electroshock arrow at Eddie: Nah. This is an actual
huge pain in the ass.

Eddie: Alakazam! *zaps power towards Trickshot but Amazing Guy gets his energy
construct in the way and curves it back round to change Eddie into a stuffed
archer doll*

Amazing Guy: Hah, got him. And the crowd goes wild!

CSFA!: Watch out! He’s stuffed but he won’t lie down!

Tricky, smirking: My dates are usually the other way round.

Eddie, changing back to bowler-hatted imp: Shut up! You’re even more irritating
at sixteen than usual! *transforms Tricky into a deck of trading cards, AG into a
magic 8-ball, and CSFA into a pile of comic books*

CSFA: Yay!

Yo: You are being a big drag. *grabs Eddie and paints his toenails black*

Eddie: Aaagh! *zaps Yo into a black-light painting*

Hatman, doing quick count of remaining Legionnaires: Urk! Does anyone have an
imp-swatting hat?

Vizh & Dancer, remaining Legionnaires: Not on us, no.

Visionary: I’ll be happy to go home and look for one.

Dancer: It’s so unfair that we’re not allowed all the other teen-Legionnaires to
help out!

Eddie, transforming Hatman into a baseball bat (with cap): You want the rest?!
Right, I’ll give you the rest! *gestures and suddenly the stuffed Finny-dragon
doll, Dark Knight Halloween mask, spiffy seed planting kit, Sorceress conjuring
set, Librarian secret journal, Goldeneyed lunchbox, Shoggoth play-doh,
inflatable Donar, Nats & Uhuna fridge magnets, NTU transformer (smoking), and
Messenger water pistol (scare your friends) all appear* There, reinforcements.

Visionary: Okay. *picks up Hatman-bat and whacks Eddie with it* Do something
while he’s busy, Dancer! Oh, and pass me the Messy water pistol.

Dancer: Right. The Lair Legion isn’t done yet! *probability dances*

Eddie: *trips on wet patch, falls onto inflatable Donar (which makes a Ho! Noise
and lets off a static discharge), bounces onto spiffy cactus set, falls under
stuffed Finny, gets wrapped in Yo wall poster, tries to stand up but gets AG
8-ball underfoot, falls back onto pointy unsafe bit of 1800s pre-safety code
Mumphrey toy soldier, rolls into sticky Shoggoth goo, accidentally kicks Epitome
action figure and gets accessory stuck up nose etc.*

Vizh: Wow. I don’t think we’re usually this good.

Dancer: He’s fighting back, I can feel it Vizh. Do something brilliant!

Vizh: *looks behind him* Er… me?

Dancer: Quickly, there’s only so many times he can get his foot stuck in G-Eyed!

Vizh, thinks back to all those portraits on the wall at the mansion that sadly
turned out not to be his love-palace: Hmmm. *grabs up Lisa lawyer slut Barbie*
Okay, there’s a string here coming out the back. Do I dare pull it?

Dancer: Pull it. Eddie’s trying to separate the Nats/Uhuna fridge magnets,
although they appear to be very slippery for some reason. I can’t hold him off
much longer!

Vizh: Well then, I hope the improbable phrase I’m looking for comes out of this
rather cheap-looking talking doll. *pulls string and winces*

Lisa: Hello sailor, looking for a good time?

Vizh: Aaagh!

Lisa: Oh, and also, I summons teen Space Ghost!

Eddie: What? Who?

Eddie: *gets smacked in the rear so hard it plasters him across the inside of
the TV screen*

Teen Space Ghost: Teen Spaaaaaannnnkkkk Raaaaayyyy!!!!!!

Eddie: Ouch! Ouch! Ouch! Ouch! Ouch! Ouch! Ouch!

Dancer: What do we do now, Vizh?

Vizh, sitting back on Donar: Relax. If there’s one being in the Parodyverse
that’s more annoyingly reality-twisting than Eddie, by all accounts it’s Space
Ghost.

Dancer, pulling up a Finny: Really? That strange gun he’s using seems to be
tanning Eddie’s backside.

Vizh: Yep. We’ll just read a few CrazySugarFreakBoys then call him off.

Eddie: Ouch! Ouch! Ouch! Ouch! Ouch! Ouch! Ouch!

Dancer: That’s quite a big collection of CrazySugarFreakBoys. And some of them
are plastic wrapped to keep out minors.

Vizh: Well, SG does seem to be enjoying himself.

Eddie: Ouch! Ouch! Ouch! Ouch! Ouch! Ouch! Ouch!

Dancer: Couldn’t we at least wrap teen-Space Ghost’s lower half in Yo or
something?

Vizh: No. I think I like Yo when I’m not being sixteen. I could try and hang
Epitome on him if you like.

Eddie: Ouch! Ouch! Ouch! Ouch! Ouch! Ouch! Ouch!

Dancer: I think I may have made an unwise wish, Vizh. About wanting everyone to
be sixteen again. I think it was selfish and stupid, even though it’s been kind
of fun for us. But sometimes…

Vizh: Yeah. Sometimes you have to grow up. Damn. Hey Eddie, are you ready to
reverse the hoodoo?

Eddie: Ouch! Ouch! Ouch! Yes! Ouch! Ouch! Very much so! Ouch! Ouch!

Space Ghost: But I haven’t done my Beatles medley yet. Yesterday…. All my
troubles seemed so far away…

Eddie: *changes the LL back to normal. SG and Cressida vanish back to where they
belong.

Eddie: Ouch. *rubs backside*

Donar: Ho! *punches Eddie in head, lays him out* That art for mine outbreak of
zitteths, caitiff.

CSFB!: Wow, I’m back. And I didn’t even have time to read half my issues.

Hatman: I believe that. You have a lot of issues.

Al B. Harper, fiddling with remote control: Okay, this should send us back to
the Lair Mansion. *slyly arranges for Epitome to materialise in a locker* Let’s
go!

[LL vanishes. Amazing Guy stays behind]

Eddie, blearily: What?

AG: Nothing. Just enjoying the view. See you in three months.

Eddie: Count on it. Ouch.

AG, to camera: And the moral of the story isn’t that youth is wasted on the
young, but that sometimes the best thing about being young is what you might
grow up to become. Bye folks.





[And coming next… what, you thought this was over??

The Epilogue will feature the follow-up to all the stories people did about the
Follies. We’d like you to each do a bit, maybe just a few paragraphs or as long
as you like, as an ending to the chapters you contributed before (or missed
contributing before). You e-mail them to Vizh@comcast.net and he’ll combine all
of them into this one wonderful epilogue piece, kind of like he did with Lisa’s Baby Shower And then we’ll be free! Free!

Anyway, try and get something done by VIZH PUTS A DATE IN HERE and then we’ll
actually have a full round robin with an honest-to-gosh finish to it as well
(that HH didn’t have to do). Okay? Okay!

Sarah

Vizh here... Okay, I should have probably put a date in there, but obviously this was written before I found myself suddenly moving to a new state and all, and I'm not nearly as available for the coordinating duties as I used to be. So really, if we want to do things as suggested above, people will have to get their little epilogue scenes to me (vizh@comcast.net) by next weekend, so that I can work on linking them during my week at home. Otherwise, folks are welcome to simply write their epilogues as stand-alone additions to this story and post them whenever.

Either way, I hope everyone enjoyed "Follies of Youth", and I greatly look forward to the capping scenes from the many talented writers who participated!










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