“No, I didn’t.” Hallie was surprised, as she was sure Visionary had said that Hatman would be taking his turn this evening. “But it’s finally my turn to get to keep you company.”

    “Charmer,” Hallie scolded him.

    “No, but I used to date one,” Hatman replied with a smile. Hallie noticed the pile of paperwork resting on the armrest of his chair.

    “I see you’re expecting to get a lot of work done tonight.”

    “No, not really, but ‘tis better to aim high and fail then to aim low and succeed’, I suppose.”

    “Fair enough,” she admitted. “So what have you got to bore me to sleep?”

    “Well, before that, there is something we need to discuss.”

    Hallie sat up a bit straighter. “I told you, I should have that virus off your computer by tomorrow. Evening.” Not for the first time Hallie missed her ability to simply project herself into the system to purge the little buggers.

    “No no, nothing about that. I want to talk about that time with the VR helmet…”

    “No! No, we don’t need to talk about that. Ever. Ever ever.”

    “It’s nothing to be ashamed of -,” Hatman began before Hallie interrupted him.

    “I’m not ashamed! I’m, I’m…what gave you the right to go snooping, anyway?!”

    “I wasn’t snooping, Hallie. I had no idea that putting on that helmet would project me into your personal world. Really.”

    Hallie sighed. She knew it was irrational to remain angry at him about it, even though she wanted to. “Okay, apology accepted. But there’s no need to tell anyone else what you saw, alright?”

    “It’ll be our secret,” he promised. “Though why you want to hide such a great singing voice is beyond me.”

    “I’m not that good…”

    “Sure you are! I thought you sounded great. We should all go out for karaoke sometime.”

    “Sing in front of the Legion? I don’t need that much fun to be made of me, thank you very much.”

    “They wouldn’t make fun, but that’s okay, I won’t push. Secret and all. Now then, you should be getting to bed young lady,” he mockingly chastised her.

    Hallie snuggled beneath her blanket and lay her head back on the pillow. “Can I ask you a question Hat?”

    “Shoot.”

    “Do you ever get nightmares?”

    “Everyone does. Did I ever tell you about the one where I was waiting tables wearing a broadsword because a host of orcs was amassing at the entrance, but I had to keep serving until they attacked because it was company policy?”*

    “Umm, no, not that one. You’ve seen way too much Lord of the Rings. I mean terrifying, heart stopping nightmares?”

    “Yeah, I have actually. For a few hundred years.” Hatman grew quiet.

    “Oh my goodness, of course! Hatty, I’m sorry…”

    “No, don’t be. I’ve dealt with that and put it behind me.”

    “So the nightmares have stopped?”

    “No, they haven’t.”

    “Then how do you cope with them?”

    “I know they’re just that, nightmares. I have my friends around me and they’re here for me. If they’d known I wasn’t dead but in fact imprisoned in a tomb of ice? They would have stormed every inch of Faerie to save me, and I know that. When I wake up in the middle of the night, that’s why I know I’ll be okay.”

    “I keep telling myself that, but it’s so hard.”

    “Well, to be fair I have a lot more practice on the whole sleep-technique than you do. Don’t worry, you’ll get used to it eventually. And until then you have a whole Legion of friends to help you.”

    “We’ll see. But speaking of sleep, I should probably try to get some. Don’t suppose you’d like to go over some tactical scenarios to put me out, would you?”

    “Actually, I had a different idea.” Hatman reached for the knapsack he had brought with him and pulled out a long hat.

    “What’s that hat supposed to do?”

    “It’s a sleeping cap. I normally only use it on nights where I can’t sleep at all, and the problem with it is I need somebody to pull it off me to wake up. But my theory is that maybe I can use it to put you to sleep and me to sleep at the same time, and then link our subconscious’.”

    “Haven’t you snooped around me enough?”

    “If this works, then maybe I can enter your nightmare and help you fight back.”

    “Are you serious? That’ll never work.”

    “This is the Parodyverse.”

    “Point taken. You’re really serious about this?”

    “Very. I want to help you fight this battle Hallie. It’s what superheroes do. And more importantly, it’s something a friend would do.”

    “And if it doesn’t work and I can’t sleep?”

    “Then you’ll pull it off my head and I’ll go over tactical scenarios.”

    “Deal.”

    When Hallie awoke the next morning she actually felt refreshed. For once she had gotten a good night’s sleep. It was the first time since taking her human form that she had felt like this, awake and full of energy to start the day.

She rose from the couch and stretched, then looked at the unconscious form of Hatman. She pulled the cap off of his head, and his eyes opened weakly. “Morning,” he whispered hoarsely.

“Good morning. And good night.” Hallie quickly replaced the sleeping cap on his head, and the Capped Crusader fell immediately back to sleep.
The strain of actually making the link between the two of them had taken its toll on Hatman. Hallie could tell he was exhausted from battling her demons all night. She wouldn’t let him do it again; to do so would mean she would grow dependent upon him, and it wouldn’t be fair to him if he never got any sleep himself. But for one night she had been granted some peace, and now she just wanted Hatman to get some rest of his own.

    Her sleeping hero.

END

*That's actually a real dream I had once. Freaky.