The Arnie J. Armbruster Interview - Tales of the Parodyverse

Post By Arnie J. Armbruster Mon Mar 07, 2005 at 02:22:28 pm EST	Subject The Arnie J. Armbruster Interview

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Interviewer: Today, I have the pleasure to interview Attorney At Law, Arnie J. Armbruster. Thanks for having me?

Arnie: No problem. it's not like I'm doing anything else.

INTERVIEWER NOTE: For our reader's not in the know, Arnie is refering to his recent trouble in the super hero community. For more on this see the Lair Legion and/or Mr. Epitome.

Interviewer: Yes, I heard about that.

Arnie: It's ok. But, I doubt you came here to talk to me about that & if you did, you'll have to see my lawyer! *Laughes*

Interviewer: No, I think enough has been said on the subject. So, can you state your full name for our readers?

Arnie: Sure. My full name is Arnold James Flying Hippopotamus Armbruster III.

Interviewer: So, there are 2 other Arnie Armbruster's out there?

Arnie: Yes. My father & his father. My Grandfather is dead & my father might as well be.

INTERVIEWER NOTE: Arnie sees my hessitation on asking a question.

Arnie: Just ask it, I know you want to. You want to ask about the Flying Hippopotamus part of my name, don't ya?

Interviewer: Yes.

Arnie: I know that I'm one third indian, so that might be from where it's from. But, anything beyond that I'm not sure.

Interviewer: So, why do you only go by Arnie J. Armbruster?

Arnie: I go by Arnie because that's what I've always been called & It's a little embarassing to have people ask you what "JFH" means, so I just use J & avoid the embarassment. But, whenever I show my driver's liecense or tell people what my full name is, I get asked the question. That's also in part to why I've been arrested 8 times, dam cops. Also, no one really cares if I'm the first second or third Arnold Armbruster.

Interviewer: Oh. So, you work for a lawfirm?

Arnie: Yeah. Dewey, Cheetum & Howe. And, yes I see the irony in the name.

Interviewer: So, when did you start to work there?

Arnie: After I was fired from Wells, Wells, Wells & Cho.

Interviewer: Oh, I've heard of them.

Arnie: Most people have.

Interviewer: Why were you fired?

Arnie: So, I aledgedly tried to "assult" one of the Partner's wives, I think it was Cho's!

Interviewer: I think I read somewhere you tried to make out with her, she resisted & you attacked her?

Arnie: She tired first!

Interviewer: According to reports, you tired first.

Arnie: Ah, F*** off! I know what happened, I was there!

Interviewer: and Drunk!

Arnie: So? I'm drunk most of the time!

Interviewer: Does that help or hinder your job preformance?

Arnie: Depends how drunk I am!

Interviewer: Have you had an high profile cases lately?

Arnie: I had the Lair Legion case, but I can't talk about that. But, I had one with this bimbo of an heiress. It had something to do with a sex tape. I almost got the Jacko case, but he thought I was to weird.

Interviewer: So, what do you think our reader's should know about Arnie J. Flying Hippotamus Armbruster the third?

Arnie: *groans* I don't care, I don't read you magizine. Where did you say you were from?

Interviewer: Modern Malefactor.

Arnie: Why the F*** are you interviewing me, I'm no Malefactor?

Interviewer: Our interviewer with the Hooded Hood flew through.

Arnie: Maybe it was reconned, I hear he can do that. So, why are you interviewing me?

Interviewer: I need to fill a few pages & I was visiting Snookie.

INTERVIEWER NOTE: Snookie is the Dewey, Cheetum & Howe's receptionist. She is also one hot chick!

Arnie: oh. So, you were here & I was here.

Interviewer: Yes, sort of. I wanted to talk to Mr Dewey, Mr Cheetum or Mr Howe. Snookie wouldn't like me. Your a lawyer here, your were in the news lately with your problems with the Legion. You were on the couch, not doing anything.

Arnie: I was working off a hangover!

Interviewer: Ok. But, It looked like you were doing anyting.

Arnie: Alright, i'll give you that. So, I get an interview because I happen to be drunk at the right place & the right time.

Interviewer: Yes!

Arnie: great.

Interviewer: Well, I have to be going. Snookie & I have a date. Any last words, Mr. Armbruster?

Arnie: Yeah! F*** OFF!

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Follow-Ups:

* What a pleasant fellow. :) (no text) - CrazySugarFreakBoy! - Tue Mar 08, 2005 at 04:10:06 am EST
- * Hangovers don't make for the best people. - Arnie J. Armbruster - Tue Mar 08, 2005 at 12:36:03 pm EST
* Thats our Arnie. One of a kind. (no text) - ag - Tue Mar 08, 2005 at 12:29:12 am EST
* Egad, I thought the bar's reputation couldn't sink any lower after Ms. Waltz was admitted. (no text) - J. Jonah Jerkson - Mon Mar 07, 2005 at 10:41:01 pm EST
* Frighteningly enough, I find myself agreeing with Jacko. ;-) (no text) - Visionary - Mon Mar 07, 2005 at 06:19:56 pm EST
- * You like to give Kids Jesus Juice, too? - Arnie J. Armbruster - Tue Mar 08, 2005 at 12:38:32 pm EST
* Interesting, to the say the least! - L! - Mon Mar 07, 2005 at 06:05:55 pm EST
- * Thank you, I think. - Arnie J. Armbruster - Tue Mar 08, 2005 at 12:41:59 pm EST
* But he never told us what kind of fish he'd be if he was a fish. (no text) - HH - Mon Mar 07, 2005 at 04:28:57 pm EST
- * What is it with you & that question? Don't you know it is: If you were a tree which tree would you be? - L! - Mon Mar 07, 2005 at 06:07:26 pm EST
  - * (sigh) more cod psychology. This board branches out into some odd places. (no text) - Manga Shoggoth - Tue Mar 08, 2005 at 04:38:31 am EST
* Well, that was.... I'm not sure. (no text) - killer shrike - Mon Mar 07, 2005 at 03:57:17 pm EST
- * I think that's sort of the point! :) - L! - Mon Mar 07, 2005 at 06:08:56 pm EST
* I have only two words to respond to this interview...F*** OFF! :P (no text) - Anime Jason - Mon Mar 07, 2005 at 03:05:36 pm EST
* Very insightful (no text) - Hatman - Mon Mar 07, 2005 at 02:39:59 pm EST