Tales of the Parodyverse

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Nitz the Bloody
Sun Feb 27, 2005 at 07:04:34 pm EST
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Nitz: The Interview. ( Warning: Long and Contains Foul Language/Contrary Political and Comic Opinions )
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Nitz: The Interview
By Neil Kapit
As Told to Neil Kapit

The Voices: Hello, Nitz.

Neil Kapit: Gah! Am I hearing things again?

TV: No more than usual. We’re just here to interview you.

NK: Someone wants to interview me? Well, better a voice in my head than nobody at all.

TV: So, what’s up?

NK: Not much at the moment. I assume that this interview is part of the Interview Week at the Parodyverse, so I’ll play along instead of drowning you out with multi-hour Nintendo marathons.

TV: Tell us a little bit about yourself.

NK: Well, I’m 19, half-Jewish and half-Scandinavian, male, and attending university in my hometown of Santa Barbara, CA. I’m an unusual person who’s lived a pretty usual life. My story is sort of a nerd’s sob story; picked on by more popular kids, has few friends, spends most of his time alone, into things that 99% of the rest of the world ignores. I don’t relate to most people and tend to be very shy until you get to know me. I guess that’s why so much of my social life is with online comics fans; everyone comes into the hobby alone, and makes connections from there.

TV: Sounds like you have some issues to work out.

NK: Ehh-duhhhh!

TV: So what brought you to the Parodyverse?

NK: Friends of mine ( Andrew Dean and Bill Reed, specifically ) pointed me in the direction of the site, and I really liked the concept of the universe. The people were really nice, but I didn’t actually start posting until summer of 2004. By then, I had a clear idea of what I wanted to do, and enough free time to implement it. I’ve been lurking and occasionally posting ever since.

TV: How do you like it there?

NK: I love it. I’m still a bit of a newbie but hopefully that will change. After years of searching, I finally found a group of fellow writers with similar interests and talents. The fact that the work is typically superhero genre fiction is just icing on the cake.

TV: So you love superheroes?

NK: That’s a simple question with a complex answer. Years ago, I would have said yes without hesitation, and then bored you to death with an explanation of why I love spandex. However, since late 2001, I’ve grown an aversion to superhero comics. I feel almost ashamed to be reading them, and dissatisfied with what they usually are. I’m not sure why; I probably just got bored with them. After all, there’s only so much you can do with stories about a good guy in tights fighting a bad guy in tights.

But wait, that isn’t true at all......superheroes are a lot more than that. If they weren’t, movies like the Incredibles and Spider-Man wouldn’t capture the imaginations ( and wallets ) of millions. I think it was Kurt Busiek who said that superheroes are like a big field to explore, where everyone’s been building on top of one small place, but there’s a vast expanse to develop on. Unfortunately Kurt’s mainstream superhero work has just been building on the same damn skyscraper that was already there....it’s only stuff like Astro City where he really explores terra incognito.

TV: But clearly, your writings on the Parodyverse are superheroic in nature.

NK: Ehh-duhhh! Seriously, I love the genre more than any others just because it has so much creative potential. It’s a melting pot of all other genres; bits of action, comedy, romance, fantasy, sci-fi, and political fiction. Since the characters on the Parodyverse are free to use for all, and I don’t have much occupying my time, I’ve enjoyed using them to tell my own superhero stories, and hope that I’m going into the new territories instead of just building on the old.

TV: We’ve noticed that you typically use only your own characters, though.

NK: Yeah. I don’t often use other people’s creations because I’m afraid of getting them wrong. I’m paranoid that I’ll do something stupid, offend everyone, and be kicked off the board and be forced to find another site to write on, but it would never be the same. Plus, I have a lot of my own ideas, so I generally prefer to play with toys I’ve created.

TV: Let’s get back to you. What are you generally like in person?

NK: Depends on who I’m with. Usually very shy and withdrawn, and more than a bit self-conscious. I generally don’t talk much because I feel as though I shouldn’t speak unless I have something worthwhile to say, which kills the purpose of small talk. When I’m with the right people I have more to say, and I used to just go into stream of consciousness mode, cracking all the jokes I could ( in my case, a mixture of geeky references and sick humor ). I’ve restrained myself more since then, but I can still be relatively entertaining to be around.

TV: What are your hobbies?

NK: Comic books and strips, obviously. Cartoons are also a favorite. And video games. Contrary to popular belief, I’m not all geek, though. I just have weird tastes and comics, cartoons, and video games accomodate them best. Most of the “ real “ entertainment I love doesn’t easily fall into any category. The music, movies, and books I like aren’t just genre pieces; they’re preferrably weird shit. My favorite movie is Fight Club, my favorite book is The Life of Pi, and my favorite music is Live. Those all have their own genre sub-types, but I’d say they’re in their own little categories, too.

TV: What are you currently interested in?

NK: Nature books. I’ve always loved animals, though I’m a pretty pissy environmentalist by my own admission ( is it possible to be an animal-lover AND a meat-eater? Because my favorite food is the great American hamburger ). When I was a little kid I used to write my own books about animals, with titles like “ One Gorilla of a Book “ ( which was on the topic of primates ). Right now I’m reading a really powerful book called “ In the Kingdom of Gorillas “, a really powerful book about the plight of the endangered mountain gorilla. I suggest, nay, demand you all read it.

Beyond that, I’ve been reading plenty of comics lately. Currently reading: Fables, Y the Last Man, Ultimate Spider-Man, Astonishing X-Men, Authority: Revolution, Runaways, Livewires, and New Avengers. ( This list will probably offend many on the Parodyverse ). I readily admit my geekiness to the world.

TV: We wonder why you need to admit that you’re a geek.

NK: I have issues around my interests, I admit that too. For so long, when I didn’t have other friends, I used comics and TV to keep me sustained. Later, I realized that real life contacts were more important than fantasy, and that became my primary focus. Realizing that, I also knew full well the stereotypes around comic geeks; detested by girls, perpetually living in their parents’ basements, usually unwashed, and obsessed with minutae. I fight hard to not fall under those categories.

But why should I be ashamed? It’s just my hobbies. Some people like sports, some people like playing music, some people like beating homeless people within an inch of their miserable lives. I’d say my interests are a little better than the latter, and I plan to go somewhere with them, too.

TV: We’re geeky too. Tell us about your opinions on Avengers Disassembled.

NK: I thought it was a good story that ultimately didn’t go anywhere special. I thought that the initial story was good, despite a few plotholes. I don’t mind that heroes were killed and injured, it’s a dangerous job. What I mind is that for all the hype and bombast, all it amounted to was a roster change. Putting Wolverine on the Avengers isn’t progressive or revolutionary, it’s just business as usual. Moving the Avengers to a tower instead of a mansion falls under the same category. It’s basically new packaging for the same product.

TV: So the Parodyverse is a stepping stone to published work in that regard?

NK: I’d hope so. It’s great practice for what I want to do with my life, and someday, when people look back on famous writer Neil Kapit, I hope they’ll also remember my stories on the Parodyverse, and not the time in 2nd grade when I got bubble gum stuck up my nose.

TV: Back to the Parodyverse. Tell us a bit about Nitz the Bloody.

NK: Nitz the Bloody started as my posting name on various comic book forums. When I came to the Parodyverse, I loved the idea that people had characters based on their screennames. I racked my brains trying to come up with an idea for a Nitz-based superhero; I went through a lot of crappy ideas ranging from an Iron Man style armored bodyguard to a William the Bloody-style vampire.

Eventually, I realized my mistake; I was looking outside myself for ideas, instead of within. My screenwriting teacher at community college always said that the best stories are the personal ones, so I decided to make a character based on me. From there, I borrowed some ideas from Grant Morrison, and the thing practically wrote itself.

TV: You seem to have a certain method to your madness. Tell us a bit about it.

NK: I tend to write Parodyverse stories of an exact length, from 12-15 chapters, 5 pages each. It’s the perfect length for me; long enough for me to flesh out my characters, short enough so that I don’t get bored. It also lets me take breaks to come up with new ideas between my story “ arcs “.

Beyond that, I use the stories as a way to deal with what I’m thinking about at the moment. The first NTB story was the obligatory origin, which was also autobiographical in a sense. If you look closely at it, you can find that a lot of what Nitz does is based on stuff I’ve done ( including stuff I’m not very happy about ).

The Summer Special was based on my desire to write a love story, but to do a creative and off-beat one, where I gave Nitz a girlfriend, without actually giving him a partner because his ladyfriend was a robot. It wasn’t exactly real, but this is a genre where men lift cars above their heads. Obviously the definitions of “ real relationships “ are a bit different.

TV: And the Commission?

NK: The Commission, the storyline where Nitz joins a team of “ post-human “ renegade superheroes bent on saving the world by ruling it, was inspired by Mark Millar’s Authority. I know it’s a very controversial comic, but I thought it was brilliant. It was a major force for change in superhero comics; past conventional melodrama, past cultural obliviousness, and into something that truly satisfied the intellectual needs of a more mature audience. As well as satisfying the immature audience with lots of violence. Too bad DC neutered it, but that’s another topic. I wanted to do stories in that style, because I liked how it was so relevant to current events. I tend to be politically oblvious, off in my own little world, so the Commission was a stretch for me....I did research on various troubled nations ahead of time to prepare for it.

Anyway, since it didn’t seem like anybody was doing Authority-style superheroes on the Parodyverse, I wanted to make a team to fill that niche. So, in addition to Nitz, I created a bunch of characters who were intentionally “ damaged goods “, with their various disorders and insensitivites. I don’t know how well it worked out, but I hope it succeeded.

TV: And your own polticial leanings are?

NK: When I take interest in politics, I tend to be very liberal. I suppose this is due to my influences; my parents are both liberal, the youth groups I go to are pretty left-wing too, and most political cartoons I read are on the left. I’ve alienated half of my audience there, but fuck it, I voted for Kerry.

TV: Why do you hope it succeeded?

NK: Because I have very low self-esteem, and every story I write looks like shit five minutes after I write it. The original Nitz the Bloody story? Crap. The Summer Special? Crap. The Commission? Not as bad, but still crap. I suppose I just have really high standards, but I have to keep writing or else I feel I’ll have nothing to show for myself.

TV: What other writings have you done?

NK: A lot of stuff, but in varying quantities. Sometimes I just can’t write and don’t do anything. Other times I have a lot of ideas and pour out short stories. Right now I’m in a great writer’s group where I’m forced to write even when I don’t know what to do. That helps me with ideas, and lets me meet other writers, a definite plus. I also do some drawings, but that also waxes and wanes ( based on how much confidence I have in my art style, which is hyper-cartoony as some of you may have discerned ).

TV: What do you consider to be your best work?

NK: Again, talking to low self-esteem boy here, all my work sucks. What sucks the least is the stuff I did for my creative writing class in 2003; a few poems, a love story about plastic surgery, and a satiric on reality shows and Spam. After that would be the Commission story, and following behind that some political cartoons I did. Behind that, the other PV stuff, my animal books when I was a kid, and a fairy tale I did called “ the Princess and the Cannibal “. Nuff said.

TV: And what about other writers on the Parodyverse?

NK: The other writers are doing great. I won’t just kiss ass here and admit that the kinds of stories they tell aren’t always to my taste; for example, the Lair Legion/Avengers crossover I’m choosing to sit out, because I can’t tell stories with straight superheroes anymore. But I’m still impressed by the quality of what they’re writing. I think there’s a lot of talent on the board and I hope everyone keeps evolving their styles further and further. I also am very impressed by some of the newer posters on the board ( paticularly Adversarius, who I’ve known a long time but never knew was that great a writer ).

TV: What plans do you have for the future?

NK: Get through this UCSB semester alive, then take a leave of absence from school to figure out just what the bloody hell I want to do with my life. During that time I’ll have more time for Parodyverse stuff, and hopefully will start my next story. All I can say about it is that the Commission are here to stay.

TV: How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood?

NK: He’d be arrested for chucking wood at people after the fourth wood chucking. So, not a lot of wood would a wood chuck chukc if a wood chuck could chuck wood.

TV: This interview is running too long for us. Any final comments?

NK: Get out of my head! * treppanates with a pencil *

END



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