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Post By Ivan Yorsi Tue Aug 23, 2005 at 11:13:22 pm EDT |
Subject Is great fun indeed! Originally Great Parodyverse Moments #4: How To Pick Up a Brunette |
In Reply To The Hooded Hood Mon Aug 22, 2005 at 08:03:21 pm EDT |
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I am but a simple man, new to this Parodyverses of yours, but I am knowing what I am liking. Ever since I was a young lad growing up in Krakhovia, I would dream of coming to such a place and doing the interacting with the peoples. And then one day, I put aside the spade and the beet farming, and boarded a sailing vessel, or “boat” as they are known in my country, to come to America. Of course, the boat was not going to America… Krakovia being landlocked, it was just going out in the lake for the bass fishing. But still, the spirit of adventurousness was alive in my breast. And so I went home an was ordering the America Online. Or rather, I use trial disk. Now I cannot remove it from my harddrive… but such hardships are common in bleak Krackovia. It was while searching for the meaning of “MILF”, that I come across the CrazySugarBoyFreak and his website of happy smut worship. Now, I am but a simple man, but I am knowing what I am liking… “What the hell do you think you’re doing?” Fleabot asked. “Shhhhhh!” Visionary shhhhhed. “We’re one response shy of the next chapter… Don’t blow it!” “And what makes you think fake ones will count?” “Hey! I’m real, dammit!” “There are so many levels of wrongness with that statement right now…” The tiny robot perused what had been written so far. “Not exactly complimenting the author’s intelligence with this attempt, are we?” “What? Is my accent slipping?” “Oh, no… it’s flawless cliché generic foreign guy. Really. Although you’ve spelled your fictional home country three different ways in as many attempts.” “Oh. Well, I’m sure one of them is right. I stole the name from that Spielberg movie with Tom Hanks living at the airport.” “Never saw it.” “Neither did a lot of people, so I figured it was safer than going with a more famous made-up country, like Latveria or Denmark.” “Good thinking.” Er, Yes… where was I being at…? “You’re slipping into Yo-speak.” “Dammit, quite distracting me!” Ah yes, the SugarCrazyBoyFreak sex site. I am most appreciating the freeness of the site… Not only in regards to the discussions of the mammaries of Lois Lane and the Aunts of May, but in regards to the complete lack of pesos needed to be reading such content. Back in Kractovia, nothing is free. We stand in bread line for three days on a good week… The line for cartoon sex talking? You don’t want to know. Is a very awkward wait as well. I suggest you bring book to read. Which brings me to how I came to the Parodyverse… “Man, took you long enough. Do you see anyone else telling their life story in their response? No. It’s all just “Great story, Ian!”, “Glad to see this one continued!” or… well, whatever the hell it is the Shoggoth is talking about. At worst, somebody rambles on about Spark scores whenever Dancer loses her clothes, which is often enough that the horse was beaten into the ground years ago...” “The classics never go out of style” Visionary sniffed. “It wasn’t true about your tie collection, and it’s not true now. And another thing… Pesos? They use Pesos in “Krakhovia”?” “What? Should they use Loonies?” “I… you… Never mind.” Following the linkages of the internets to this place, I quickly found it to be full of stories about Easy Western Women servicing males of dubious natures. I am a simple man, but I am knowing what I am liking. And Easy Western Women is very much among these things. While I am quite intrigued by what is happening in the Brown Streaking’s tale… especially of the sister and her torrid yet strangely touching romance with the handsome and easygoing hero. Sure, some people might think that maybe he should settle down and get on with the whole Heart of Darkness and other ongoing plots, but really the audience has proven kind of fickle, and when somebody throws their gorgeous Scarlet Witch-based sister at you, armed with body oils and an edible bustier, do they really expect you to duck? I mean, come on… a guy is only human… “Slipping a little out of character there, “Ivan”.” “Hmmm? Oh… right. Sorry.” So I was just wanting to say: Is good story. Is good that the lead take off her top multiple times, even if it is to have the sex with the bad man using fruits. Could use some illustrating, but otherwise we can use our imaginations. In Crakovia, we stand in line to use imaginations, and the line for imagining Sarah Shepherdson is quite long. Again, bring book. So thank you again for providing this free entertainment to a simple Kracovacian beet farmer. Is what makes the Parodyverse the greatest country on Earth. Where else can a simple beet farmer read the fictionalized accounts of the erotic adventures of loose waitresses? Well, the Google suggests that it is limited to being a few ten thousands. But I am finding this particular loose waitress to be especially appealing. Now please to be posting the next adventures, and maybe some further nakedness. I need read something in line for “Penultimate Battlers”. Yours, Ivan Yorsi, Republic of Kraquovia “Think it’ll work?” “It’s a response, isn’t it?” Visionary argued. “As if PhantomHawk or Gurl showing up and saying “Fun story!” is more valid…” “You might have a point. Of course, PhantomHawk probably wouldn’t have ripped off old Yakov Smirnov routines… so in the end, it’s probably something of a wash.” “Hmmmph… This is the thanks I get for my efforts on behalf of the rest of the board.” “Oh, I wouldn’t worry…” Fleabot noted casually. “I’m sure Dancer will find a proper way to thank you for your comments. I mean, it’s not like she’s in a position to have much control over you, what with writing half of the massive story that’s tying up all of your continuity, or as if she's seen *you* naked and could wax eloquently about your shortcomings or anything. Have you ever been compared to Jude Law on a cold day?” “Er… wait...” Visionary said nervously. “Where’d they put the ‘edit’ function on this thing…” “Well,” Fleabot noted, “At least you didn’t make up the “simple man” part…” |
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