Destination, Part 5 (stay tuned, there will be a double post!)

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Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4

Destination Part 5

    "She's here? How come nobody told me?" Lara Night asked Yuki Shiro excitedly yet in a hushed voice in one of the many hallways of the Lair Mansion.

    Yuki glanced back and forth to make sure nobody was nearby to eavesdrop. "Liu Xi didn't look much like she wanted to talk to anyone," she said. "She just...shuffled to her room wearing some kind of silver jumpsuit. Looked like she'd been through a war."

    "Maybe I should talk to her," Lara wondered to herself.

    "No," Yuki insisted. "Give her an hour or so, at least, let her get cleaned up and settled."

    Lara nodded in agreement, and the two went their seperate ways.

    Yuki turned out to be right, however. Liu Xi was in her room, or more specifically in her shower, enjoying the warm stream of water. She didn't seem to notice that the water was not only warm itself, but it was warming her skin.

    She finally opened her eyes when she turned away from the water stream and noticed sparkling on her hands, like someone had spilled glitter into the water supply. A quick look down to the tub confirmed that it was her glittering, not the water.

    At first it frightened her, but then she began to sense that it was making her stronger. Then the reason why struck her - the stolen water she had been drinking in that temple was very pure. The water back home is full of minerals, traces of materials that made up the very fabric of the human body. And her own body was completing itself.

    But how? She thought about it as the water cascaded over her, and the thought popped into her mind, the elements she was supposed to have mastery over. The most powerful two, Air and Water, she never quite perfected. Now she felt as if the water was speaking to her, giving up its secrets and its contents to her.

    Liu Xi felt so energetic and refreshed after the shower, though she knew she should feel tired. Energetic, and starved. She didn't quite like the idea of showing herself publicly just yet, so she tried to suppress her hunger until a later hour so the Lair Mansion kitchen wouldn't be so busy.

    She felt grateful, then, that some considerate friend had left a paper bag of groceries and food items sitting on her kitchen counter. She smiled to herself, figuring that it was probably Yuki, and then dug into its contents looking for ingredients to make herself something.

    Eating a meal, even alone, felt normal. It helped her push away the endless loop that played in her head, the tale of murder which worried her nonstop. It made her feel so alone, made her wonder if she deserved to be alone. She wiped her eyes with a napkin - she was crying over the food, because it had been given to her by someone who cared and she didn't deserve it.

    Liu Xi finished eating, cleaned up, and after she had finished distracting herself with such mundane details she had nothing to face but herself. She found the silver jump suit and boots still discarded on her living room floor, and tears began to run down her face again. In anger and grief she flared a fire in her fireplace and hurled the jump suit in, wishing it gone forever.

    A light tap at the door made her heart race. She both craved and feared visitors - the idea of having to accept more kindness she didn't deserve depressed her, and confessing frightened her. She was relieve when she heard whose voice it was.

    "May I enter?" Chiaki asked quietly through the door.

    Chiaki was always understanding and never judgemental. Liu Xi calmed herself and opened the door, peeking into the hallway before closing it again and locking it. "Hello," she greeted half-heartedly.

    "You sound as if you have a great weight on your mind," Chiaki quickly diagnosed. She looked at the fireplace and noted some fabric material burning, but she said nothing about it.

    Liu Xi noticed anyway. "I couldn't look at it anymore," she explained. "It reminded me. Of Exu...and what I had to do for him."

    Chiaki didn't ask for more information - she rarely did. She simply stared and waited for Liu Xi's conscience to do the rest.

    "I...had to kill someone to save his life," Liu Xi whispered as if she were afraid someone with super-hearing might be passing by. The words echoed in her mind as if spoken in a cave, and she began crying again as their meaning hit home. In a broken voice she asked Chiaki, "Do you think less of me now?"

    The Psychic Samurai silently placed her sword on the coffee table and sat on the couch directly behind it. "No," she replied firmly. "I believe you have the potential to achieve balance."

    "What?" Liu Xi asked, unsure of what she meant. At least it caused her to stop crying for a moment.

    "You must seek to save a life with no hope," Chiaki explained. "Only then will you achieve balance, and your troubled mind will be at ease again."

    "I don't think it's that simple," Liu Xi sniffed.

    "It is." Chiaki sounded sure with her short reply. "You feel sad because you're unsure if the good within you is enough to balance the evil you've done. It's good that you feel sad, those who don't are doomed to imbalance of too much innocence or too much evil. It means you have potential to balance that by doing more good."

    Liu Xi wasn't entirely sure that was it, but Chiaki did make a lot of sense.

    "It looks like the opportunity will present itself," Chiaki noted. "With this war coming up...you'll have quite a few opportunities."

    The Chinese elementalist nodded and sniffed again. "I will be a life saver," she whispered to herself like a realization. "Oh no," she whined suddenly as she ran her fingers through her hair stressfully, "What will I tell Jay?"

    "You tell him nothing until he's ready." Chiaki instructed her.

    Liu Xi looked at her sadly. "I can't lie to him. He's a friend."

    "If Zdenka came to you and said she didn't want to see Jay again, would you want to tell him immediately?"

    After a short pause biting her lip, Liu Xi replied with a small, "No."

    Chiaki nodded as she stood and collected her sword. "Your confession will be as devastating to him at this point. Wait until you have some support first, from me and Yuki at least. Wait until you've done something good, recently, that he can remember. Timing is everything, Liu Xi."

    "I know." Liu Xi sighed. "I hate lying to a friend."

    The Psychic Samurai headed to the door, and then turned and looked at Liu Xi again. "I'm sorry I can't offer you more consolation. It saddens me. As long as you suffer this I will share your suffering."

    "Thank you," Liu Xi whispered as she watched Chiaki leave. She hoped that Jay would be as sweet.

---

    "I'll kill him," Yuki growled, quietly but loudly enough that Liu Xi urged her to lower her voice. Yuki was referring, of course, to Exu, after hearing Liu Xi's story.

    The Chinese girl followed Chiaki's advice, trying to find support among those she knew would do so, and Yuki was next on that list. She was happy that she didn't underestimate Yuki, at least. Or so she thought.

    "You're not off the hook either," Yuki added abruptly. She didn't notice Liu Xi bow her head sadly and start to cry silently again. "What did you think would happen, trusting someone who calls himself the God of Murder and works for the Parody Master?"

    "He...he was---" Liu Xi began to stammer. She was shaking, and couldn't find the right words.

    Out of nowhere, Yuki placed a hand gently on the top of her head and smiled, as she began whispering soothingly. "Hey," she said, "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that. I know what Chiaki told me...I didn't believe that you were as scared of ending up rejected and alone as she said."

    All of the fear drained out of Liu Xi. She was still shaking, and she didn't look Yuki in the eye, but she was calmer. "He...he was...dying like me," she quickly spilled out.

    Yuki sat down in the carpeted living room floor and crossed her legs, prompting Liu Xi to reluctantly do the same. "I can't say I'd have done the same thing," she said, "but I never count on someone else to be my ticket to rescue. Have you talked to Jay yet?"

    "I'm afraid," she whispered, still looking down. "Chiaki says I shouldn't until I...I do something--"

    "She's right." Yuki sighed and leaned back against the coffee table. "But you can't leave Jay in the dark for so long, either. You have to tell him part of the story at least. Tell him you've done something horrible, beyond redemption, and you can't say what it is just yet. When the truth of what it is comes out and some point...it always does...he'll understand why you couldn't say more."

    "He'll still be angry," Liu Xi noted.

    "That's too bad," Yuki replied quickly. "Everyone has secrets. Just because he's the leader of the Lair Legion and your friend doesn't entitle him to yours. Besides, if he gives you any trouble I'll deal with him."

    Liu Xi couldn't help but smile at Yuki's aggressively protective nature, even if it was just a momentary smile. "What should I tell him?" she asked gingerly.

    "How about that you've done something awful that you feel terrible about, that you can't tell him what it is, but if he finds out someday you hope he'll forgive you." Yuki folded her arms and seemed satisfied with her suggestion.

    "Okay." Liu Xi nodded.

    "But in your own words, okay?" Yuki clarified. "Jay knows how I talk, so if you repeat what I say he'll know it was me who said it."

    The door to the room opened slowly, and both women suddenly fell silent as they watched Hatman peer around the door wearing a baseball cap bearing his personal logo.

    Liu Xi did her best to control herself though she felt herself shaking, and was trying not to cry. And thens he looked at Yuki, at her eyes, and noted the perfect picture of confidence. It inspired her, to think that if Yuki were in the same position she would speak her mind yet somehow defuse the situation.

    She watched Yuki talk to Hatman in the doorway for a moment - she was too deep into her own thoughts to pick up what they talked about - and then Yuki left, leaving Liu Xi feeling lonely and afraid of what she could say.

    "Welcome back," Jay announced. He hugged Liu Xi warmly yet gently.

    The hug calmed Liu Xi a little, enough for her to stop shaking and start to think more clearly as her confidence increased. "I have to tell you something important," she whispered shakily.

    "Sure, tell me."

    "I've done something terrible." Liu Xi lowered her eyes as she spoke, but tried her best to keep herself steady and keep her eyes dry. "I...can't tell you what that is yet. I might someday, and I hope when I do...I know you won't be able to forgive me. I hope only that you remember...you're my friend."

    Jay started at her for a moment as she looked up at him, and then back at the floor. "Is it really that bad?" he asked, sounding serious.

    Liu Xi nodded sadly. "Very bad. It will be a long time until I can forgive myself."

    Jay bowed to look into Liu Xi's downward cast eyes. At first to cheer her up, but then he noticed a distant darkness to those eyes that sent a chill down his spine. The look of someone haunted by very real ghosts. "Are you going to be okay?" he asked her.

    "Maybe," Liu Xi replied softly. "Someday."

    He reached over to try and hug her again, but she stepped away from him.

    "No," she whispered, "You wouldn't hug me if you knew what I did," she said. "I don't deserve it...just because I'm afraid to tell you--"

    Jay noticed that her hands, held out in front of her, were shaking a little. "Liu Xi," he finally said as he bravely took both of her hands and held them. He worried that they felt clammy, and she still looked down. "I can't tell you how I'll react when you finally tell me what happened. But I can tell you that no matter how I react I'm still your friend. I'm loyal to my friends. As long as you're still alive not much can change that."

    Liu Xi finally looked up at him, and her eyes seemed warm and hopeful instead of dark and haunted. She still seemed sad, but it was if she went from feeling abandoned and lost to feeling she had something to cling to. This time, she let Jay hug her gently, and she let herself relax and accept it.


TO BE CONTINUED?

-- Story written and copyrighted (C) 2006 by Jason Froikin, and may not be
-- reprinted without permission.
-- Liu Xi Xian, Yuki Shiro, Lara Night, Chiaki Bushido (Psychic Samurai) (C) 2006 by Jason Froikin, all rights reserved
-- All other characters property of their respective owners

Post By Anime Jason Sun Dec 24, 2006 at 12:13:17 pm EST	Subject Destination, Part 5 (stay tuned, there will be a double post!)

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