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killer shrike hopes this doesn't screw up anyone's plans
Sat Jan 21, 2006 at 09:04:25 pm EST
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Resolution Crisis War - Chapter Six
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Decimation Crisis: Prelude to Resolution War Prologue #6



Hatman eyed the man in the garish doublet and jerkin, “Kwatrain,” he hissed.

The Fairly Recent God of Apocalyspe produced a sonic stiletto from his cuff, “Greetings, Terrans. Any last words before I send you to the Font?”

Jay tried to bide his time, as it appeared Kwatrain was immune to his Blasting Cap and its ability to cause explosions, “Just that I’m surprised to see you slumming like this: killing helpless prisoners for a common hood.”

“I prefer to think my time here as an act of charity for a grieving family member,” the Master Assassin obliquely explained as aimed his blade for a deathblow.

That’s when Hatman detonated Epitome’s restraints. The previously kneeling Paragon of Power became a blur, rushing Kwatrain. Epitome punched him with enough force to sending the god careening across the gym, “Let’s see how you do in a fair fight, Sissy Boy!” he raged.

Dominic looked ready to charge after his foe, but caught himself. He instead turned to rip the bonds from his teammate.

“Thanks,” Jay stood and rubbed his wrists.

“Yea-ARRGH!” Epitome screamed and clutched at his back. When he turned Hatman could see the source of Dominic’s agony: Kwatrain’s dagger was burrowing into his shoulderblade.

Hatman grabbed at the blade and jerked it free, ignoring how the vibrating weapon flayed the skin from his hands. Another opponent took advantage of the distraction, however.

Harry Flask hammered Jay in the back of the head, knocking his Blasting Cap free and clear. The gargantuan gangster hefted the Legionnaire bodily and dashed him to the ground. Epitome reached over to break up the brawl but was forced to stop when Kwatrain looped a mono-filament garrote around his neck from behind. If the Exemplary Man hadn’t gotten his hand in between the wire and his neck he would have been beheaded.

“Finish Epitome,” the Lynchpin commanded as he grabbed Hatman and body-slammed him a second time, “This punk is mine!”

Kwatrain’s eyes narrowed at the asperity of the command, but continued his assault on the Paragon of Power. He dug his knee into Epitome’s back and doubled his efforts to garrote him.

Dominic Clancy’s counter maneuver was to stomp the floor with his jackboot, causing everyone to lose their footing. By the time Kwatrain had recovered Epitome was ready for him. He grappled the assassin, attempting to use his superior strength to subdue him.

“Really-ugh-Terran: do you think you can just rip my head off like you did Torkahmada’s?” Kwatrain cracked open a vial from one of his pouches, coating him and Dominic both with a virulent hyper-potent strain of contact poison, one that the god had developed an immunity.

As the Star Spangled Splendor gagged from the attack the Lynchpin drove his size twenty cross-trainers into Jay’s ribs. With a labored grunt shout Flask bent down to grab his head so as to squash it between his big, meaty hands.

There was an angry screech and a good-sized bird flew into the room via the hole. It was a raptor, normally native to Candia, but circumstances had brought it here. To the man she loved.

Zvesti Zdrugo swooped down and raked her talons across the Lynchpin’s eyes.

“Gah!” Flask screamed, blood spraying from his brow, “My eyes! Kw-Kwatrain, help me!”

“Eh?” the god looked over to where his supposed employer clutched madly at his face. Mr. Epitome took advantage of the distraction to crush Kwatrain’s aquiline nose. The killer had enough experience to know he was on the losing end of this battle. He pressed the side of his refitted Mother-In-Law Box that summoned a Zoom Tube wormhole. With a contemptuous shove he pushed the staggering and hemorrhaging Lynchpin through it, and then he himself followed.

“Jay!” Zdenka assumed her human form and bent down to scoop up the wrecked Legionnaire.

“Hey, Zee,” Jay Boaz smiled weakly, “Thanks for the save.”

“You are welcome,” there was a brief kiss, “But we must leave, before the Lunchmeat or his servants return.”

Hatman coughed, clutching at his sides, “Are the others with you?”

“No. I come alone, except for Katarina Allen.”

“Katarina?!” Epitome railed incredulously as he mopped up those members Flask’s security force too dumbstruck to flee, “You brought Kat here?! What the hell were you thinking?!!”

“Enough, Clancy,” Jay warned. With Zdenka’s aid he stood and limped over to where Flask had dropped his Hatility Belt, “I’m sure Kat’s safe.”

“She is. I put her in taxi cab when building exploded,” the Rabid Wolf nearly snarled to Epitome. She had seen the news footage of the big man’s vicious brawl with Jay, which made her even less inclined to accept a scolding from him.

“Good. Then we can go,” Hatman said.

“Where?” Dominic knew their options, but wanted to know where his teammate stood.

Jay told him, “To get stitched up. And then to turn ourselves in.”

For a moment the two men matched glares. Then Epitome nodded.

“All right.”

To be continued (concluded?) by Hatman!

Footnotes:

Kwatrain, Apocalyspe, the Font, Mother-In-Law Box, and the Zoom Tube: are all parodies of New Gods concepts created by Jack “King” Kirby. Kwatrain was one of the villains present in Dancer’s superlative “Far Away” series, at the end of which the master assassin was defeated and brought to Earth for war crimes. Obviously, he’s out.

And as for the reference to a “grieving relative,” that would be a “Wait and See” moment….

Harry Flask, blinded?: Probably not. I just couldn’t help including that scene as a homage to another story. Any guesses? Hint: its not Oedipus Rex, though his distaff counterpart is tangentially involved. Sort of.


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