Adventures in Parodyverse - Outlaws of the New Law Part 4

    The prison bus stopped short of the camp in Iowa by several miles.  Two other buses pulled along both sides of it.  These new buses had flashing police lights on them, and were colored purple and black, The Moderator’s theme colors.

    Soldiers in black and purple uniforms and black helmets, armed with powerful automatic rifles, filed out of the two intercepting buses and stood two lines deep alongside the road.  Six of what seemed like commander types got off the buses.  They were dressed similarly, only with more medals, and berets instead of helmets.

    They all boarded the prison bus.  The driver stood and saluted them, but they ignored him.  One of the soldiers, the one with more medals than any other, pointed at Lara Night and said, “You.”  And then at Yuki Shiro.  “And you.”

    The other two beret-topped men rushed aboard the bus and grabbed Lara and Yuki violently, forcing them outside still in their shackles.  The occupants of the prison bus watched helplessly, except one...The Psychic Samurai.  She continued looking at the floor.

    That lead soldier produced an envelope and opened it.  He began to read from it out loud.  “By order of The Moderator, the two traitors Lara Night and Yuki Shiro are to be executed immediately, and without delay.”

    “Ready!”  One of the other commanders called out as Lara Night was violently pushed in front of the line of soldiers.  “Aim!”  was called as she was pushed down to her knees.

    Kat Gillespe aboard the bus screamed when the guns fired, and Lara Night fell over dead.  The soldiers then grabbed her and pushed her over the edge of the roadway into the gulch beyond.

    “Shut up!”  the driver threatened Kat.  He produced a knife and waved it near Kat’s throat.  “I swear, one more sound out of either of you and I’ll cut you!”

    “Ready!”  came from outside.

    “Eat me!”  April Alice Apple replied angrily.

    “Aim!”  was heard from outside.

    A small yet strong hand grabbed the driver’s before he had a chance to slit April’s throat.  An angry Asian woman snapped his wrist coldly and took the knife.  The driver began screaming, nearly drowning out the sound of Yuki Shiro being shot by the firing squad.  That screaming was cut short by his neck being separated three-quarters of the way, courtesy of his own knife.

    The soldiers outside realized something was wrong, and rushed aboard the bus.  There were scattered screams as several of them fell to severe or fatal stab wounds.  Finally a few of them beat Chiaki Bushido into submission with the butts of their rifles, and dragged her outside.

    She was forced to her knees in front of the firing squad, and the commander stood between them.  “And for your act of rebellion...for murder of several of The Moderator’s Spam Control Agents--”  He turned around to look at the firing squad.  They raised their weapons in response.

    As he stood aside and turned around, he saw the knife in the Psychic Samurai’s hands.  Before he could open his mouth, she plunged it into her own stomach, pulled it up toward her heart...shuddered painfully and gasped, and then fell over.

    “She killed herself,”  one of the soldiers in the firing squad said.  There were confused murmurs among them.

    “Quiet!”  the commander bellowed.  “One of you take command of that bus.  Make sure the rest get to the camp without further incident.”

---

    The Psychic Samurai was cringing as her eyes were shut.  Dreams had been haunting her every time she tried to grab some much-needed sleep, to the point where none of it was effective any longer.  Her death and resurrection, as convenient as it was, started to weigh on her mind dangerously.  It was just before she awoke that she had a moment of perfect clarity.

    That moment gave her new energy as she awoke slumped in a chair in a maintenance of the Lair Tower.  CSFB! was still wide-awake, he had the contents of his backpack strewn all over the floor, and was checking to see what each one did.  Lara Night was still napping, curled up in the large window sill.  Liu Xi Xian forced herself to remain awake through fear.

    Chiaki stood and passed the spot where Anna disappeared earlier.  The Moderator reclaimed her for some reason, and was able to recall her without knowing where she was.  That could only mean it was too late, and he had already begun to assume the cosmic offices of the Parodyverse.  Each of them would be next.

    And she knew who would be first.  She walked over to Liu Xi Xian, shaking her to make sure she was fully awake.  She handed Liu Xi one of CSFB!’s Rocket Fuel soda pop.  “I need you alert,”  she said.  She then whispered instructions to Liu Xi that seemed to terrify her.  Liu Xi was shaking her head furiously.

    “You must,”  Chiaki urged her.  “Or we will all die without a chance.”

    Liu Xi hung her head, and then slowly shuffled out of the room.

    “What’s going on?”  CSFB! asked loudly.  That finally woke Lara up.

    “It’s too late,”  Chiaki whispered.  “I can sense it.  The Moderator is being transitioned into the cosmic offices.”

    “So we’re screwed?”  CSFB! asked distantly.  He seemed uncharacteristically down.

    “No.”  Chiaki picked up her sword.  “It means we have been waiting in futility for aid.  It also means it’s all up to us.”  She looked at Lara, who was now fully awake though groggy.  “I have set a trap for The Moderator courtesy of Liu Xi.”

    “So we’re going to go there and kill him?”  Lara asked.

    “No.”  Chiaki shook her head slowly.  “Lara, you will search the Lair Tower for surprises.  Anything you find that could defeat us too easily, or any assets we can use, either destroy it or take it.  Meet us in The Moderator’s private quarters.”

    “Gotcha.”  Lara quickly left.

    “What about me?”  CSFB! asked.  “I’d love to go with her!”

    “You will accompany me.  There are super-powered beings I can’t handle.  You will be my bodyguard.”

    “Sweet!”  CSFB! cried out.  “I love your body, by the way.”

    Chiaki ignored him.  “Faite!”  she called out.  “I know you’re here.  You’re always here.”

    There was a gentle breeze through the room, and Faite appeared in her long, flowing robes, seemingly from the shadows.  “How dare you summon me?”

    The Psychic Samurai ignored that too.  “I must know now if I can count on you to fight by my side.”  She bowed deeply and humbly before the Parodyverse aberration.  “I could really use your help...your power...should I succeed or fail.”

    Faite’s frown faded at the elaborate display, and the cool breeze around her subsided.  “Very well,”  she whispered.  Her charcoal robes transformed into a rather stylish dress instead.  “I will aid you...since the situation is so dire.”

    “Moderator!”  CSFB!     called out as they entered the hallway, “You’re about to get ass-raped by girls!”

    “I’m not certain that’s possible,”  Faite protested as she followed along behind the two.

---

    “This is better than anything I’ve ever seen on television,”  The Moderator stated as he watched a bank of monitors rapidly switching views.  They were picking up psychic signals from those he had trapped in the memories of their own murders.  The powers of his new office allowed him to do that.  He looked at Software Engineer, who was helping him integrate it with technology.  “Is your software going to work this time?”

    Software Engineer cowered at the implied threat as he re-activated Anna.  He was wearing his cybernetic interface, which sent data from his work directly to his brain.  “I...I uh, bypassed her abstract neural network and installed a new software control system,”  he said quickly.

    “Excellent,”  The Moderator cheered.  “Anna was designed, after all, to take on the Lair Legion.”  He looked at the small, unusual android.  “If there is any resistance left, she should be able to eliminate them for me.”

    “Yeah, something like that.”  Software Engineer replied.

    ‘Hacker Nine,’  a feminine voice whispered in his mind.  ‘That’s who you are.’

    Software Engineer ignored that, but felt it necessary to explain what he did further anyway.  “Anyway, her mind will go on thinking but it can’t control her body anymore.  The software does that.  And it obeys your commands.”

    ‘What sort of hacker are you?’  Anna taunted in his mind.  ‘One that stoops to the will of the establishment?’

    Software Engineer looked at Anna.  She was still immobilized until he gave the command for her to activate.

    ‘Hacking is about freedom,’  the voice continued.  ‘About bringing down those who would restrict that freedom.’

    Just before Software Engineer removed the cybernetic interface, he heard the words ‘You n00b.  You make me sick.’

    “Activate,”  Software Enginneer said.  

    Anna slowly rose out of the chair she had been slumped in.  She looked at The Moderator and said quietly in a metallic voice, “I await your command, Master.”

    The Moderator smirked happily.  “Twist the Software Engineer’s head off.”

    “Yes, Master.”

    There was a horrifying scream and a fountain of blood as Anna gripped the Software Engineer’s head and twisted it off.

---

    Lara Night was lost.  She wandered the halls of what was the Lair Tower, only now had been re-written to something closer resembling Herringcarp Asylum.  As in designed by a madman, not the architecture.

    And appropriately enough, she heard a shrill scream echo through the halls.  Perhaps Herringcarp and the Lair Mansion had switched places somehow.  Or...

    A chill ran through her as she realized why things were so rapidly and nonsensically changing around her.  Time was up, and The Moderator had won.  He was changing things to suit him now...and being the small-minded man he was, he didn’t truly understand the intricacies or complexities of the Parodyverse.  Worse yet, he didn’t care.

    She turned a corner and walked into a dark room.  She was still intangible energy, in case someone managed to spot her.  She sensed movement in the room and froze.

    “Good evening,”  a calm voice with an Eastern European accent bade her.

    “The Hooded Hood?”  Lara asked.  She squinted into the darkness...but then there was no need to, as torches suddenly lit the room.  The Hooded Hood was sitting in a golden throne in the center of the room, his eyes glowing green, and his fingers steepled in front of him.  “I thought you were dead.”

    “As you yourself noted, Miss Night, The Moderator has no understanding of the nuances of the Parodyverse as he makes changes.”  The Hooded Hood leaned back comfortably.

    Lara smiled at that.  “Hah, so he accidentally cancelled your death, did he?”

    Those green eyes flickered a little.  “My death his never been confirmed, Miss Night,”  he said.  “Perhaps I was always alive.  Or perhaps you are not.  Or perhaps you see something which is not here.”

    “Yeah yeah, and maybe I don’t really exist and the universe is just text on some message board.”  Lara shrugged.  “Does it really matter, though?  If we’re talking to each other, we both know the other exists.  And if we can affect things outside this room--”

    “Intriguing.”  The Hooded Hood actually smiled.  “You have quite the grasp of the abstract.”

    She shrugged.  “Jumping across universes and talking to a creator back home will do that,”  she noted.

    “Indeed.”  He replied.

    “So why appear to me now?”  Lara asked him.  “Just to give me hope?  Ask me for a favor?”

    The Hooded Hood paused to steeple his fingers again.  “Much simpler,”  he said.  “To keep you here until the timing is right.”

    “Why would you want to keep me here?”  Lara asked.  She felt slightly alarmed.

    “Every action had consequences, Miss Night,”  The Hooded Hood told her.  “I attempted to warn The Moderator of this...but he did not listen.”

    “Because he thinks he’s got it covered,”  Lara replied.  “That’s why he took those cosmic offices, so he can clean up his mistakes.”

    “His mistakes, yes.”  The Hood agreed.  “It’s not his mistake which will be his downfall, however.”

    “Oh?”  Lara asked.  “So why do you have to keep me here?”

    “You’re here to kill The Moderator, are you not?”  The Hooded Hood asked.

    Lara thought about evading the question, but instead she honestly replied, “Maybe.”

    He took a deep breath, sounding almost like a sigh.  “It is not your place,”  he said.  “But I digress.  You may leave now.  By the time you attempt to kill The Moderator...he will already be dead.”

---

    The Moderator arrived in his quarters to find Liu Xi sitting in a chair by the window looking downtrodden and sad.  That made him smile as he approached her.  “Now aren’t you happy to be the wife of the master of the Parodyverse?”  His face fell when he noticed she wasn’t in the wedding dress any longer.

    And then he turned around, to find a sword pointed at him.

    “I challenge you,”  the Psychic Samurai said as she held her sword steady.  “And this time there will be no cheating.”

    The Moderator tried to delete her.  Instead, the room shook violently, and a big crack opened in the floor.  He frowned, and growled, “Faite...this is your interference, isn’t it?”

    “And I will continue to interfere as long as you continue to cheat,”  Faite said.

    He tried deleting Faite.  The room shook again, and a chunk of the ceiling fell in.

    “Continue along this path of action,”  Faite warned him, “And you’ll certainly delete yourself out of a home.”

    “Fine.”  The Moderator willed himself a sword...made of energy.  If he couldn’t cheat blatantly, he’d at least have a weapon that can cut through the Psychic Samurai’s sword, and her person, alike.  To suit his personality, the sword was at least twice as long as Chiaki’s.

    “Someone’s compensating for something!”  CSFB! declared as he plastered a bunch of Spam Control Agents that just arrived with Silly String.

    The Moderator reached out to delete CSFB!, but then he felt Faite’s eyes on him.  He quickly changed his mind, and hit CSFB! hard with the energy sword instead.  There was a showering of sparks, and CSFB! screamed...and he fell, among the smell of burned flesh, and the faint scent of burned taffy.

    The Psychic Samurai immediately seeked revenge for the attack.  She hit The Moderator hard with her sword, severing his left hand cleanly.  He cried out in pain.

    “You’re going to die now!”  he said.  “I don’t care what happens to this tower as a result!”  He reached out and deleted The Psychic Samurai, one molecule at a time, so it would hurt.  

    The building started shaking violently as a battle of wills between The Moderator’s supreme power and Faite’s power of aberration violently conflicted throughout the room.

    And then Liu Xi stood and started to replenish the elements being taken from Chiaki’s body, trying desperately to keep her alive.

    The Moderator gave up trying to beat the combined magic of Faite and Liu Xi, and the shaking stopped.  Her body shaken, The Psychic Samurai collapsed, her blade clanging to the floor.

    He then angrily willed Faite somewhere far away.  It would take her some time to return and annoy him further.  He felt Liu Xi tampering with the elements in her body, and took care of the human Chinese girl the old fashioned way - hit her hard, with all of his willed strength, so she fell against the wall and crumpled in a heap.

    All that was left were himself and Anna, the repurposed android.

    “Anna, you’re now controlled by a computer, correct?”  The Moderator confirmed.

    “Yes, Master,”  she replied in an obedient metallic voice.

    “Are there any of the rebellion left?”  he asked.

    “Yes, Master.  One person.  But there is only an eight percent chance they will succeed.”  That distant metallic voice made her words sound emotionless yet vaguely chilling.

    “Oh?  An eight percent chance?”  The Moderator shook his head.  “That won’t do.  I need complete assurance.”  He walked over to Anna and looked her directly in the eye.  “Now that I have your complete obedience...give me the name of this person.”

    Anna blinked once suddenly.  There was a high-pitched noise that echoed off the walls of the room.

    “Me.”  Anna replied fiercely, her voice steady and sure, no longer metallic...and full of anger.

    The high-pitched whine increased dramatically as The Moderator’s mouth opened.  It was only a split second before his eyes, perfectly level with hers, were pierced by a white-hot blue laser, puncturing through to the opposite side of his head, burning through to the other side, even puncturing the wall behind him.  She wrinkled her cybernetic nose, as the smell of burning flesh, brain, and bone was nearly unbearable.

    “Intriguing,”  The Hooded Hood said as he stepped over the still smoking body of The Moderator.  He looked at Anna, his expression unchanging.  “Through his death you have inherited the title he had just stolen... the Shaper of Worlds,”  he said plainly as his eyes glowed a threatening green.  “And you will serve me.”

    A gunshot rang out, and the Hooded Hood grasped at his abdomen.  He looked up just in time to see who his assailant was - Jay Boaz - before he was shot again, through his glowing green eye.

TO BE CONTINUED?

-- Story written and copyrighted (C) 2008 by Jason Froikin, and may not be 

--    reprinted without permission.  

-- Yuki Shiro designed by Jason Froikin, based on designs by Masamune Shirow

--  Liu Xi Xian and the Psychic Samurai are original design by Jason Froikin

--  Lara Night is an original creation by Jason Froikin