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Subject: Catherine & The Danger Zone: a Saving the Future tie-in |
"Good afternoon. I'm William O'Shaughnessy. You've just entered the Danger Zone & this is The O'Shaughnessy Dossier!" The loudmouthed right winged liberal news journalist squawked as he sweated profusely & starred manicly into the camera. As the main credits rolled, as a bald eagle zoomed by on the screen a man at the counter asked. "Why is this on? O'Shaughnessy is an Ass & frequently get his facts wrong! I'm kind of surprised he's even still on the air after that Luffa incident." Before he could continue he was cut off when another voiced spoke up. "Now see here, I will not have anyone defamed in my place of business unless the person is here to defend themselves. Since I don't see Mr. O'Shaughnessy here: you, sir, can Shut Up!" That voiced belonged to Mama Sara, owner & about a handful of other job titles at Mama Sara's Good Food & Hot Drinks Emporium. It's a retro styled Dinner at the corner of Montgomery & Shepherd in Goth Haven. Mama is a big, both in personality & appearance, black woman. Her dark black hair was up in a messy bun. She wore a well worn crocheted sweater over her stained white apron. Under both of those was a t-shirt & a pair of jeans. On her feet were a dirty old pair of tennis shoes. As she scolded the patron she waved a large wooden spoon at him. "Plus, Mr. O'Shaughnessy is doing a special on all the Legions running around these days since the classic version when poof that day & but not like my cousin Leroy is. But we love him anyways." Then all attention returned to the TV screen was perched on a small metal shelf that was mounted to the wall. "Now I think we've all put up with the antics of The Lair Legion over the years. Sure, they've saved the day once or twice in the past, The conflict with the man known as The Parody Master is a resent example. Plus, there was a few other things. But I have sources, as you all know, that have reported on various times about the not so super heroic actions of that Team. You as know when I find out about I report them to you like any good American would. So any frequent viewer would know that I think we're all going to die because the Lair Legion will even up killing themselves which in result will kill us. So, anyone who hasn't been living under a rock knows that this Boys' Club of sex crazed maniacs had finally gone & done it." The image on the screen changes from O'Shaughnessy to aerial footage of where Parody Island use to stand. "What you are seeing is where an island use to stand. Why don't you see it now, The Legion imploded take with them the island & some unsuspecting bystanders. Yes, I am taking about the Super-Menace Principal Undercover Directorate. According to the information I have collected almost the entire organization was present at the time. I'm truly sad at that loss, It would be just like them to leave the country unprotected like this in a time of uncertainty. Just because we aren't current under attack from space menace doesn't mean we don't have have attackers at the gate. Fear not my loyal viewers! There are a few glimmers of hope in this sea of uncertainty. As we all know in nature when something is removed, it is quickly filed by something else. I've found that is most often filed with something better. So, with the old Lair Legion gone we have our choices of which group will the new Lair Legion. I know we, as a country, can't support more then one group so in this great democratic nation we have we'll just need to vote the best candidates into the job. Now, this is my opinion & you don't have to go with it but it is a highly informed opinion I know one version that will serve us well. Normally I would say go with the first group of the gate. Imitators all pale by comparison so the group of heroes lead by the previously unjusticely incarcerated her excellency Baroness Elizabeth Sweetwater Dewdrop Zemo von Saxe-Lurkburg-Schreckhausen would be the best choice, right?" O'Shaughnessy said & paused for a moment. "Wrong!" He screamed before returning to his normal volume. "Why, my loyal viewers? I have posted on my Website why. Now I can hear you yelling at your TV sets, my loyal viewers: I bet he's going to choose the junior version of previous Legion! You all know how I like loves the children." "Yeah, you got sued over your love!" a person in the dinner yelled out. A few people laughed but all further comments when shushed by Mama & her large wooden spoon. "But you all would be wrong. Bad Seed begets Bad Fruit, so it better for the country at large in my opinion to cut away the bad limbs that bare these bad fruit. Plus, I don't like the thought of Teens being put in harms way like the old Legion has always done. I've posted the death tole caused by the previous Legion on my website, it's disgusting." O'Shaughnessy said shaking his head in disbelief. He then continued on. "My choice for the new Lair Legion, if we must call them that, is the set provided to us by our very own Government. The old version was loosely associated with the U.S. of A. but those connections were very loose at best. As I've said before the old Legion were Rouge Agents posing as Government Agents. So, with them gone the Government has stepped in & provided us, via their Federal Meta-Human Resource Center: a new group, a better group. One we can all stand behind. I know I do. What that?" O'Shaughnessy said & then holds his hand up to his right ear & turn it towards the camera. "You say you don't like this group since they appear to be copies from the previous Legion? That this group seem disgenuine & you'd read reports that their histories might of been faked." O'Shaughnessy hits his fist on his modern styled metal, plastic & MDF desk. "Well, that's all Poppycock! Yes, some of personas' are based of members of the last Legion but they are on our side. And I can tell you first hand this group of young, up & coming heroes are on the up & up. I've recently gotten the chance to meet with them. My Interview with them is forth coming & it may just be my best interview this year, if not ever in the history of the Dossier. So, we'll take a break here & be back after these Messages. I'm William O'Shaughnessy. Your in the Danger Zone & this is The O'Shaughnessy Dossier." He said as he straightened up his sheets of blue paper, tapping the pile together on the desktop as the camera pulled back from him. "Hmm." Mama Sara said. "Gives you something to think about." She then pulls out a dish towel from one of her pockets & begins to clean a spot on the counter. No one else said anything for a few moments. Then a person a few seats away from Mama spoke up. "Apparently Mr. O'Shaughnessy never read any early 90's Comics." This comment got a few peoples' attentions. They all turned to the woman who made the comment. She was dressed, starting from the ground up: a pair of navy blue Chuck Taylor All-Star high tops. On her feet were argyle socks. Her pants are a well worn & ripped in places pair of blue jeans. She had a grey short sleeved T-Shirt on. Under that shirt was a red & black long sleeved shirt. Over the T-Shirt was an unzipped well worn, greying black hoodie with the sleeves pushed up. On her wrists were a few too many bracelets & a couple of wrist bands. A few of her fingers had some rings on them. Her black nail polish was cracked & chipped in places. She had short sandy blond which was pulled back & into two small ponytails, one on each side of the back of her head. She had somewhat pale skin & was also wearing a pair of black plastic glasses. Slung over back of her chair was an olive drag colored messenger bag. Set before her on the counter was a short stack of Waffles. "What are you talking about, Catherine?" Mama Sara asked. Catherine noticed that Mama Sara wasn't the only person who wasn't getting what she was talking about since all she was getting was blank stares. "The Reign of The Supermen, anyone?" Still blank stares. "Does anyone remember that Superman died back in 1993, I think?" There were a few nods yes. "Ok. So, while Supes was taking a dirt nap, there was a small contingent of people who stepped into take his place. Most of them claimed to be the one & only, except for John Irons. He was just inspired by the original." "Ok." one of the people said unsure. "What does this have to do with what the Windbag was talking about?" another asked. "Well, certain things that have happened since the Legion has disappeared & yes I think they just disappeared. I won't think they are dead unless I see bodies. Then I might not think they are dead, I know dead super heroes have a weird way of coming back. So, getting back to the Reign of Legionaries: The groups that have stepped in bared some similar aspects of the people who stepped in for Superman. I think were only missing an African American version of the Legion & one made up off Alien artifacts that think they are actual people but then maybe we already have this. Since the rest are currently represented sure, some groups represent more then one person from the Reign of Superman but hey, it's would weird if they didn't." Catherine smiled. "Ok." one said. "Still don't know what this has to do with anything?" another said. "I think what I'm trying to say is before we commit to a New Legion, we should wait & see if the Old Legion comes back or not." No one said anything, they all just turned back to what they were doing before. Some people, including Mama Sara, turned their attention back to the screen since O'Shaughnessy was back from break. Catherine just shrugged her shoulders & then poured some syrup on to her Waffles. |
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