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| Tales of the Parodyverse >> View Post |
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Subject: Le Voyage dans la Lune Bibliothèque publique, Part 2 |
The lone satellite, known as The Moon, revolving around the 3rd planet, known as Earth, that it's self was revolving around a central star, known as The Sun, in what is called by the locals' "The Solar System". On the northern hemisphere, in the western quadrant, on the dark side of this satellite, nestled amid it's pocked marked surface is a circular building. The building is known as The Moon Public Library & one of the many IOL sanctioned Libraries that dot this sector of space, Sector 2875. The Sun light came through the several inches thick liquid crystal roof of the Library shining down on to the Library's four main floors. Contained there are rows upon rows of Bookcases filled with almost of all of the printed knowledge of the universe. It's floors are held up by large marble columns. Among the floors are various display cases featuring various artifacts from the Library's private collection, many of them collected by the head librarian, Lee Bookman, himself. Now like everyday, the Library is a hub of activity. There are patrons of every size, shape & type of creature you could image, along with some you couldn't. Standing on the first floor of Library awe stuck at everything was Catherine Gillepsie, Human. "Whoa." This was her first trip to space. This was trip anywhere that wasn't connected to the North American continent. There were things she was seeing that she'd never seen before beyond on a screen or in books. As she tries to take it all in, she starts to slowly walk backwards. It's a slow movement, she barely realizes she is doing it until she bumps into something or someone. For fear it was someone, Catherine said without turning around the see what she had bumped into. "Sorry." She gets a reply. "Language recognized: English." Catherine turned around & was faced with a tall obelisk made of some sort of stone, it might've been marble but she wasn't sure that existed in space. The obelisk stood a foot of so taller then her. Catherine looks around & see they are placed around the Library, too. All of them were out of the way of traffic but they were there. When Catherine turned her attention back to obelisk was a bit surprised to see near the top the face of Spider-Man looking down at her. Or at least she thought it was looking down at, it was hard to tell with the mask on. "How may I service you?" Spider-Man said. It was in a voice Catherine didn't think sound at all like a super hero. It didn't sound like he was from New York. "Who are you?" "Answer: You are currently standing before a Data Node. Data Nodes are used to help facilitate communication between Node & Patron. Additional, Nodes are used to further help all Library Patrons find the information they are looking for." "Why do you have Spidey's Face?" "Answer: Question not understood. Question asked may pertain to technology used with Data Nodes. Data Nodes' painlessly scan the main nerve center, most likely a brain, of Library Patrons & search for any literary figures that the Patron knows of. The Face of found literary figure is used to help facilitate communication between Node & Patron. Is this correct?" "sure." "Reply not understood. Is previous information correct?" Catherine sighed & then said. "Yes. So, you don't know you have Spidey's Face?" "Question not understood. Question may pertain to technology used with Data Nodes. Data Nodes know nothing about what literary figure patron has chosen. Data Nodes do not instinctively know information pertaining to the literary figure the chosen face belongs to. It is recommended that Library Patrons do not refer to Data Nodes as the face of the literary figure Patron has chosen." "Darn. I wanted to ask you about Peter Fonda." Catherine said jokingly. "Reply not understood." "Nevermind. But I didn't choose you to have Spidey's face!" "Question not understood. Question may pertain to technology used with Data Nodes. The chosen face is always the first face that the scan found in Library Patron's main nerve center, most likely a brain. If no face is found: a face from Library's archives is used. The face used is one from patron's own species. A second scan can be preformed if Library Patron does not like the initial face used by the Data Node. Does Library Patron wish a second scan to transpire?" "No. Don't worry about it." Catherine was about to walk away from the Node but stopped & said. "You know you talk, a lot. You don't have to keep repeating yourself?" "Answer: The repetition of phrases is done to make sure the Library Patron understands what is being conveyed." "It's kind of annoying. Could you stop?" "Answer: No. Library Patron is not logged in so any and all personal preferences are not followed. Data Node is running on default programming." "How would one such Library Patron go about logging in?" "Answer: Library Patron would swipe Patron's personal Library Identification Card in the card reader proved on any Data Node or at any of the Guide Kiosks provided around the Library." Catherine noticed that on the side of the obelisk there was a small slot just big enough to fit a credit card. Catherine pulled out her wallet & got out her Parrodipolis Library Card. She put her card in the slot, the card was sucked into the obelisk. After a few seconds, the was a buzzing noise & the Node said. "Card Error." The Node then ejected the card. Catherine flipped the card around & then the card was once again sucked in. "Card Error. The Card inserted is recognized as being an Identification Card of another institution but said institution's Identification Card is not equipped for use here at the Moon Public Library. Please see Information Desk for a new Identification Card." "Where's that?" "Answer: There are Information Desks located around the Library. The closet Information Desk to Patron is on the first floor, located directly under the Rotunda." "Ok. Thanks." "Thank you for using this Data Node & for using the Moon Public Library. Have a pleasant day." Then the masked face of Peter Parker disappeared. Catherine turned around & behind her in the center of the Library was a circular island made of something that looked to Catherine like some type of wood. As Catherine walked up she could see that the counter top was a pitch black. Standing a the desk were four robots all were facing in different directions & all kind of looked to her like the old All-Star Squadron villain, Mekanique. Catherine standing in front of one of the robots, it's lifeless eyes lit up & glowing a warm yellow. The robot then said "How may I service you?" Catherine started to talk but was interrupted by the automaton. The way it spoke was not in the sing song manner she had gotten on the phone, this automaton spoke in a way Catherine though robot's should speak. But speaking was a bit of a stretch since no words came out of it's mouth, the words she "spoke" came out of a speaker in her lower abdomen. "This interaction is important to us here at the Moon Public Library & may be monitored for training purposes. Also, please note that communications are being recorded to be stored for further reference so please speak clearly & enunciate your words." Catherine rolled her eyes & then said. "Yes. I was wonder how one would get an ID card?" "Answer: Question not understood. Patron needs to speak clearly & enunciate their words." Catherine sighed & then said with pauses in between each word. "I. Would. Like. an. I. D. Card." "Reply not understood. Question may relate to Identification Cards. Is this correct?" "Yes." "Reply is an Incongruity. To gain access to Moon Public Library: all Patrons must need to have an Identification Card. Patron is currently in the Moon Public Library so Patron must have an Identification Card." "Well, I don't! I didn't even know I was going to be here anyways." Catherine said a bit angrily. "Patron is displaying low level hostility. Raise internal security level to Aqua. Reply is an Incongruity. To gain access to Moon Public Library: all Patrons must need to have an Identification Card. Patron is currently in the Moon Public Library so Patron must have an Identification Card." "You just said that!" "Answer: Repetition is known. No further information is known so all previous information is repeated. Patron is to ask a different question or clarify previous question." "I called the Library earlier today." "Called, Call, Telephone, Communication. Question: Where did communication originate?" "Parrodipolis." "Parrodipolis, United States of America, North American Continent, Earth, Planet Alpha Zero Zero Five Two Four Dickens Seuss Adams. Question: Did communication originate from Lair Mansion, Parody Island, Parrodipolis, United States of America, North American Continent, Earth, Planet Alpha Zero Zero Five Two Four Dickens Seuss Adams?" "No. That's missing." Catherine said offhandedly. She also thought that the robot would have known that since it's boss was there when it disappeared. "Reply is an Incongruity. The Islands of Planet Alpha Zero Zero Five Two Four Dickens Seuss Adams, otherwise known as Earth, do not go missing. Additionally, The Moon Public Library does not have regular communications with Planet Alpha Zero Zero Five Two Four Dickens Seuss Adams, otherwise known as Earth, beyond that of Lair Mansion, Parody Island, Parrodipolis." "Well, I had your phone number." "Phone Number, Telephone, Communication Coordinates. Question: How did you obtain this information?" "Lee called me." "Lee, Lee Bookman, Lenard H. Bookman, Head Librarian. Called, Call, Telephone, Communication. Question: Why?" "I don't really know. He said it had something to do with Dancer." "Question: Does Patron interact with Super Hero designated as Dancer?" "No." "Reply is an Incongruity. If Patron has no connection to Super Hero designated as Dancer & Super Hero designated as Dancer is not known to have the ability known as Telepathy then how was Super Hero designated as Dancer aware of Patron's existence?" "I don't know." "Reply is unknown. Patron needs to speak clearly & enunciate their words." "I was!" "Patron is displaying low level hostility. Raise internal security level to Aqua, level 2." "Plus, why shouldn't I be hostile! You kidnapped me!" "Patron is maintaining low level of hostility, remain at internal security level to Aqua, level 2. Reply is unknown, clarify previous statement." "During my phone call, I made a comment about not being able to explain something over the phone then you kidnapped me calling it something like a transfer." "Phone call, telephone, communication. Phone, telephone, communication device. Transfer. Answer: The Moon Public Library currently has the equipment to transfer matter from one location to another. For transfer to commence The Moon Public Library must first have a either 1. a sample of matter that is to be transfered or 2. the matter's signature already in it's Transfer Buffer. Question: Does Patron meet either of those previous qualifiers?" Catherine thought for a moment & then said "yes." "Clarify previous statement." "I was once kidnapped by a rogue copy of Lee. My friends & I were taken here to the Library I guess by way of your transfer system." There was no answer from the vaguely female looking android standing before her. The eyes where still lit so Catherine assumed it was still on so she just stood there waiting for something to happen. "Statement is fact." It said after what seemed like hours. "Node has scanned Patron then compared findings to those of within the Transfer Buffer. There are 2 instances that match Patrons' signature, one from earlier today." "So, how did I get here if you can get inside the Library without an ID Card since you said that you can't get in with one?" "ID Card, Identification Card. Answer: The Transfer equipment is exempt to this." "So, It's a loop hole?" "Reply not understood. Reply may pertain to Transfer Equipment. For the Transfer Equipment to commence the equipment must first have a either 1. a sample of matter that is to be transfered or 2. the matter's signature already in it's Transfer Buffer. If neither of these two qualifiers are not met, the equipment will not work." "But if anyone or anything met them, the transfer system could be used as a loop hole." "Reply understood. Query sent to Head Librarian." "Where is Lee anyway?" Catherine asked. "Lee, Lee Bookman, Lenard H. Bookman, Head Librarian. Answer: The current location of the Head Librarian is listed as elsewhere." "What?" "Answer: The current location of the Head Librarian is listed as elsewhere." "What does that mean?" "Answer: Not further information is available." "Ok. So, Can I get an ID card?" "ID Card, Identification Card. Question is an Incongruity. To gain access to Moon Public Library: all Patrons must need to have an Identification Card. Patron is currently in the Moon Public Library so Patron must have an Identification Card." Catherine sighed but before she could do anything her attention & the attentions of many other people are drawn to another part of the Library. Up on second floor, it sounded like there was fight breaking out. Shortly there after a large creature came flying over the balcony & hit the floor breaking it making a crater. "What the heck is that?" "Answer: An Ohmposian. This warlike species have been known to be highly confrontational. This race is one of the more common races here at the Moon Public Library due to the fact that the entire species hates the head Librarian, Lenard H. Bookman & fairly frequently come to kill him." "Why?" "Answer: Unknown. Information in database incomplete. The origins of this hatred can be traced back to a fact finding trip Head Librarian, Lenard H. Bookman, took to the Ohmposian home world & a meeting with the political leader of the species that went badly." Before Catherine could ask anymore questions, The robot said "Thank you for using this Data Node & for using the Moon Public Library. Have a pleasant day." The eyes then turned off & the entire robot, along with the other 3 droids like it, retreated into the floor. Then, all the Bookcase retracted into the walls. Also, All the displays case retreated into the floor leaving the Library pretty empty. As the muscle bound, four armed behemoth stood up out of his crater. It shook it's self off & drew four weapons. The creature began to shot off rounds leaving burn marks all around the Library. This action caused all the rest of the patrons to make a prompt panic filled exit of the main areas of the Library to parts unknown to Catherine. Then the thought of leaving also crossed Catherine's mind but she didn't know how to get back to the Transfer room. She then began to look around. The only other living thing around was the screaming madman waving his guns about, shooting off blast is random intervals. The only non-living thing around was the Information desk she was standing next to, everything else was hidden away. So, Catherine hopped the desk & used it for ground cover. As she crouched down as small as she could, Catherine hoped that the Ohmposian was in to much of a rage to have noticed her. Then, she heard footsteps heading her way. |
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