 |
|
|
| Tales of the Parodyverse >> View Post |
|
Subject: Saving the Future: Lone Lost Boy & Heroines Hanging Together |
Saving the Future: Lone Lost Boy & Heroines Hanging Together Dreamcatcher Kokopelli Foxglove, the Agent of Chaos of Creation known as CrazySugarFreakBoy!, stirred in the middle of a small clearing in an unfamiliar jungle. He felt sore, and slowly stretched himself awake, popping his knuckles, neck and back as he moved from a kneeling to a standing position. After he’d rubbed his eyes, he surveyed the environment, finding himself surrounded by a tropical forest, with an active volcano visible above the canopy in the distance, and a setting red sun overhead. He patted himself down reflexively, making sure all his body parts had made the trip, and he blinked when slapping the bicep of his left arm created a muted metallic thumping noise. “Oh, yeah,” Dream recalled instantly, shaking his head, “still getting used to that one.” Dream inhaled sharply, shut his eyes tight, and concentrated with his Eavesdropping Earring. He could hear what sounded like running water in the direction of the volcano. “You ever get lost in the wild, you find water,” Dream muttered under his breath as he set off, quoting the advice he’d received from his father years ago. “You find water, you’ll find food. You follow water long enough, you’ll find people. You ever get lost in the wild, you can walk out on your own two feet, long as you stay sharp, fit and fed.” Dream was uncomfortably unaccustomed to responding to situations without the benefit of being able to respond to other people in the process, so his walk started out in silence, as both his caution and his curiosity kept his head on a swivel, taking in the rustling details of the lush alien landscape. However, the unsettling aesthetic of the ancient ruins he soon stumbled across was so striking that he had to react to it out loud. “I feel like Rod Taylor in The Time Machine,” Dream’s unsteady chuckles gave way to uncontrollable laughter. “Hey, maybe we’ll just wander into a colony of Eloi!” He beamed as he turned to shout over his shoulder, “I call dibs on Yvette Mimieux –” Dream’s giddy grin fell as he realized, once again, that he was totally alone. “You ever get lost in the wild, you find water,” Dream repeated to himself, the reminder forcing him to move on, and stay on course. “You find water, you’ll find food …” __________ “I guess Magweed is going to get her wish after all,” April Alice Apple, a.k.a. the Groovy Gecko-Gal, groused as she sought to adjust her crime-fighting costume, since it hadn’t clung to her curves nearly as snugly back when she was more active as a superhero. “I just wish the little sprout was still here to see it happen.” “We’ll tell her all about it, as soon as everyone gets back,” Meggan Foxxx, a.k.a. Action Figure, promised her daughter-in-law encouragingly. “I’m sorry, but did I miss something?” Elisabeth “Bettie” Barrie tried not to let the irritation and alarm creep into her voice. “Only it seems as though you’re all acting as if Dream and all the others have simply stepped out for an afternoon stroll, rather than literally disappearing off the face of the Earth.” “Honey, don’t take this the wrong way,” Meg stroked Bettie’s shoulder sympathetically, even as she suppressed a smirk, “but we’ve been through this song and dance a few more times than you have by now. After the first half-dozen times you’re told that your son is lost or gone for good, you don’t even bother to mention it in your Christmas letters.” “Dream and the rest of the Lair Legion will manage to make their way back home on their own, all safe and sound,” April recited the nearly ingrained speech in a sing-song cadence of affected impatience, her tone designed to disguise the fact that she was seeking to reassure herself along with Bettie. “It’d be nice if we had a bit more diversity in our remaining lineup in the meantime, though.” “You don’t have to be PC just because there’s an ‘African-American’ in the room,” Anna Kensington, a.k.a. Blacksmith, rolled her eyes. “She’s talking about a diversity of fighting styles, and she’s right,” Sydney St. Sylvain, a.k.a. the Fabulous Fashion Fairy, assessed her freshly recruited teammates. “Aside from me and Anna, no one here is independently flight-capable, and Anna is the only one with truly long-range projection powers. Everyone else – April, Meg, Bettie, Wendy, even me – works best on a close-combat or even hand-to-hand level.” “So what’s wrong with that?” Gwendolyn “Wendy” Leslie, the Agent of Chaos of Destruction known as PsychoAcidPervGirl!, wondered confrontationally. “Nothing, if you’re a fan of Bendis’ New Avengers,” April shot back sarcastically. “Afraid of change,” Wendy whispered under a mock-cough. “We make do with who we have,” Meg’s stoic sentiments cut the tart exchange short. “Meg, you’re my field leader,” Sydney took charge. “You’ve already got on-the-job experience from working with Dream on the Globetrotting Gangbusters. April, I know you’re more accustomed to operating solo, so whenever you feel capable and comfortable with drawing off multiple opponents from larger melees, go ahead and do it, but do not take on too many on your own. Part of the whole point of belonging to a team is that you don’t have to hold off overwhelming hordes entirely by yourself. Anna, obviously you’re our tech support, but Leo’s standing by to coordinate our operations from the Odyssey Obelisk. He’s not ready to get back into the game just yet, at least not on a face-to-face basis, but he’ll keep us connected from his lab hub.” “I trust there’s some valid reason why you haven’t mentioned my responsibilities?” Bettie inquired insistently. “Considering the fact that I was still a little girl when I first learned to fight pirates in Faerie, with both swords and my bare hands, the better part of a century before any of you were even born.” Sydney winced, as she met Bettie’s unwavering gaze and firmly fixed jaw. “Only against non-superhumans,” Sydney finally instructed. As Bettie opened her mouth to object, the younger woman interjected, “Your years of experience are a double-edged sword, not in the least because most of them were in a very different world, with very different rules.” Bettie pursed her lips into a prim line, and exhaled audibly through her nostrils, but nodded curtly nonetheless. “Fine,” she bristled but conceded, “but only until I’m fully versed in the native genre conventions.” “So, what,” Wendy scoffed, “we’re following Tinkerbell here into battle? Why don’t we just call ourselves the ‘Disney Princesses,’ while we’re at it?” Sydney’s almond eyes narrowed, as she flashed a tight smile. “I was leading the Valiant Vanguard against world-conquering supervillains while Avril Lavigne poser-punks like you were still playing with My Little Pony.” “Anyway,” Meg massaged her throbbing temples, growing increasingly weary of breaking up her daughter’s pissing contests, “we’re putting out what fires we can here in Seattle, and the Pacific Northwest, so let’s hope that Kat and the rest of the Globetrotting Gangbusters can live up to their team’s name, and do the same around the world.” |
Posted from U.S. Network
using Microsoft Internet Explorer 7/Windows XP | |
| |
| Tales of the Parodyverse |
| Generation-3™ v1.0 beta © 2003-2008 Powermad Software |
