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Subject: Champagne and the Land That Common Sense Forgot |
Matt Kauffman sounded the alarm when he saw movement in the rain forest. Toby Barrett and Zane Freeman and Lindsey Porter came running with whatever makeshift weapons were at hand. Dr Loring was a little slower because he had to fumble for the branch that served as his walking stick. The students stood in surprise as they saw Champagne walking out of the foliage. “Huh?” said Toby. “That’s not possible!” “Not possible?” Lindsay argued. “She’s there, isn’t she? And she’s not one of those lizard creatures or those squid-headed things, and she’s not riding a pterosaur.” Champagne raised an eyebrow. She’d had an encounter with some kind of heavy ridge-backed armored quadruped when she’d first awoken in this alien landscape but it seemed like there was much more yet to learn. “Maybe the road’s back?” Zane said hopefully. “Did you drive here? Have you got a jeep?” “Or a radio,” said Lindsay. “Or any idea what’s happening!” “None of the above,” Champagne told them apologetically. “I am rapidly learning that knowing the Lair Legion seems to involve a lot of unplanned travel.” “The Lair Legion?” Zane asked. “What does any of this have to do with them?” “I’m not entirely sure yet,” Champagne admitted. “I intend to find out, and then I’ll let you know. One minute I was visiting the Lair Mansion, the next I appear to be in a sub-tropical wilderness. I was actually hoping you could tell me where I am.” Lindsey noted that Champagne was in a rather bedraggled Cavalli original which had never actually been designed for heavy jungle treks. Champagne was walking barefoot because Versache’s Atelier collection wasn’t good for ten-mile hikes. “You’re in hell,” answered Matt. “At least that’s my theory. Zane thinks we’ve travelled in time back to the age of dinosaurs. Lindsay thinks we might have had the Rapture and been left behind.” “We’d better start at the beginning,” said Champagne. “Hi. I’m Champagne. You folks?” An older man finally caught up, limping because his left leg was swathed in field bandages. “We’re what’s left of the Midwestern University archaeological expedition to Callejón de Huaylas, in Peru’s Ancash region.” He looked up at the red sun sinking over the forest. “If we’re going to talk we should get back to the ruins before it gets dark.” Champagne followed them. She’d seen the big weed-choked rocks from quite a distance away and had been heading for them. Only now did she realise that they weren’t natural. They were eroded and dilapidated, but the stones were cut and dressed. The place had been built by man. “Wow,” she said. “Wow indeed,” said Zane. “That’s what we all said when we arrived in the Black Mountains and first saw the site. It was only discovered five years ago, a rare Chavin culture site from about 900 BCE. We were the first team authorized to survey it.” “It seemed pretty exciting then,” Matt said. “But that was before we woke up and found it had taken us to wherever this place is.” Champagne made some connections. The Librarian had mentioned a missing archaeological expedition. “So you’ve been here two days,” she calculated as she followed them through a gap in the old wall towards a structure that still had a stone roof. “Two days?” Lindsay snorted half-hysterically. “Nearer two weeks! We’re out of supplies… well, the Mestizos took most of it when they ran off into the jungle and abandoned us.” “They carried off Sharon as well,” Zane added. “And all the guns.” “The Mestizos were your guides,” Champagne guessed. “And that left just the four of you?” “Seven of us.” Dr Loring sounded weary. “David died on the first day. Some kind of giant primate. That was one reason why the Mestizos deserted. Harry my TA vanished on watch one night. Now we just barricade ourselves in and light a fire.” “And Susan was got by those squid-headed things,” said Lindsay with a shudder. “We buried her afterwards, but they took her brain with them.” This was a lot for Champagne to take in. She helped Lindsay settle Dr Loring down. He’d been bitten by a small saurian lurking in the long grasses and the wound had turned septic. Champagne checked the emergency medical kit, but it had been plundered too. It now contained only a few crepe bandages and a huge pair of tweezers. Zane stoked up the fire they used to block the doorway to the stone chamber they sheltered in. “So you just woke up here one morning, and the temple was somewhere different,” Champagne said. “Pretty much,” answered Matt. “The night before our only concern was interpreting that dial in the center of the ruins and the next morning we’ve got guys on flying dinosaurs raiding our supply tent. When we had a supply tent.” “Our radio is useless, and the GPS seems to be broken,” Zane added. “I think we’re going to die here,” Lindsay said in a small voice. “Nonsense,” Dr Loring said. “If Champagne came here so can others. If she vanished to this place perhaps the Lair Legion did as well?” “Worth checking tomorrow morning,” agreed Champagne. “We’ll try a great big smoky fire and watch from the tree line. But tonight I want to clear a few things up. You mentioned a dial?” “That thing,” Matt pointed to a heavy stone the size of a mill wheel, etched with deep ridges in a spiral formation with a hole in the middle. “We found it in the very hub of the large structure that used to sit in the geographical center of the compound. We have no idea what it is.” “And so you moved it,” Champagne said. “Of course you did. Have you people never seen a horror movie?” “I think we’re in one now,” Lindsay confessed. Champagne looked more closely at the circular slab. “Is this kind of thing common, Dr Loring?” “We don’t know much about the Chavin peoples,” Loring said. “They had textiles, pottery, metalwork. They made religious items. They used hallucinogens. But no, we’ve never seen anything like this before. In fact this entire site is a bit of a puzzle.” “How so?” Loring pointed to the walls. “These stone slabs. I don’t know what kind of stone they are. We blunted four drill bits trying to take samples.” Champagne examined the wall, holding a burning torch close for a better look. “I don’t know either,” she said, “but I do know that great columns of this same stuff were pushing their way up through the ground on Lair Island just before I vanished.” “Pushing up through the ground?” Matt asked. “Like they were growing?” “And now I’m also wondering about some unexplained holes we heard reports about that had opened up in various places around the globe,” said Champagne. “We never did get time to hear the details of those things.” “The dial is a different stone, though,” Lindsay said. “Granite from the Cordillera Blanca.” “And it was just stuck in the very middle of the city, like a plug in a bath?” Or like a finger in a dike, thought Champagne. Something had to link an ancient Peruvian ruin to her disappearance from the Lair Mansion. “These grooves on the surface, the spiral patterns… They get deeper towards the center. It’s almost like one of those child’s toys where you set a marble rolling and it follows all down the track.” Matt looked up. “We found some marbles!” he said. “Well, some marble-like spheres, carved out of granite just like the dial!” Dr Loring leaned forward, intrigued. “You think the marbles ran round the stone and dropped into the central hole?” “I think we should try it and see,” said Champagne. Loring’s face fell. “Problem is, the bearers looted all the small carryable stuff when they left. That included the finds box.” “There might be more around the site,” said Zane. “We could search tomorrow. If the pterosaur-riders aren’t in the sky, that is.” Lindsay wasn’t keen. “That’s a dangerous pastime just to play a children’s game,” she said. “We’ve survived this long by keeping under cover and not straying far from our refuge. Now we’re going out looking for marbles and Champagne wants to start a big come-and-get-us fire so all the monsters won’t need to wait.” “Your hiding out didn’t help David, Harry, or Susan,” Champagne pointed out. “Also you are out of supplies, with one hunting knife and two trowels between you. I think it might be time to take a gamble.” “Because we have the same stone here in blocks as you saw in your five growing columns on Lair Island?” “If I ended up here then either the Legion all got zapped like me, in which case they might be nearby and need to find us, or they didn’t, in which case they’d be looking for me,” said Champagne. “Either way it’s a reasonable risk. Especially if we’re nowhere near the fire, watching from a distance. It’s a shame we don’t have a marble though. There’s something odd about the way that groove runs, something that makes my eyes flicker to look at it.” “Um…” said Matt, raising his hand. “I, um, I might have dropped one into my pocket before that. As a souvenir.” He fished into his pants and pulled out a tiny stone ball. Dr Loring glared at him. “Never mind that,” Champagne said. “Bring it over here and try it on the dial.” Matt got up to join Champagne, but suddenly a huge gust of wind filled to room. Champagne’s torch was snuffed like a match and the blaze in the doorway guttered, filling the chamber with smoke. Champagne dropped to the floor to crawl over and relight her torch from the fire. She stumbled over Matt’s bloody body. As the smoke cleared, Loring, Lindsey and Zane all realised that another of their party was dead. The medical kit tweezers were jammed through Matt’s left eye socket and up into his brain. The barricade on the other side of the fire in the doorway was still intact. Nobody human could have entered the room during the thirty seconds of smoke and chaos. Lindsay Porter voiced what all of them were thinking. “One of us here is a murderer.” Zane pointed at Champagne. “And only one of us is covered in blood.” “I didn’t do it,” Champagne said. “I got the blood on me because I stumbled over poor Matt’s body in the dark. If I’d actually taken the tweezers from the medical kit and stabbed him I’d have a distinctive blood spray pattern like…” She looked down at her ruined dress. “Like the one I have here,” she confessed, confused. “You killed Matt?” accused Dr Loring. “But why?” “I didn’t,” Champagne denied. “I wouldn’t!” “Where’s that stone ball he was holding?” Zane said suddenly. “It’s gone!” “The murderer must have pocketed it,” Lindsay said. “We should search Champagne.” “We should search everybody,” said Champagne. They searched the chamber, the baggage, and each other. There was no sign of the marble. “The murderer could have swallowed it,” said Zane. “We can hardly cut people open to check,” Dr Loring pointed out. “What I don’t understand is that bizarre gust of wind.” “There’s all kinds of things I don’t understand,” Champagne said. “Like how I got the perfect blood splatter if I didn’t do it. Like how back at the Mansion they filmed Liu Xi Xian busting up arcane defences after void-folding into the basement. Like why using this dial was so worrying that somebody had to kill for it. But I’m starting to get an idea.” “An idea of who you can blame for the murder you just did?” cried Lindsay. “We don’t know you. You walk out of the forest and you come in here and the next thing Matt’s dead on the floor! And you were the one who asked about the marble in the first place!” Champagne nodded. “It looks bad. But the murderer made one mistake, and now I think I know who killed Matt and how.” [PAUSE HERE FOR READERS TO SOLVE THIS] . . . . . . . [ALL SOLVED? LET’S GO THEN!] “Who do you accuse?” said Dr Loring. “Formulate your argument.” “Well then,” said Champagne, “the first thing to remember is that this isn’t an ordinary case with an ordinary crime. We’re involved in some pretty weird stuff here, which somehow ties in your removal of this dial with some holes across the Earth and some malicious events back at the Lair Mansion. Now if that damage back on Lair Island wasn’t done by Liu Xi Xian then it was done by someone who both looked like her and could replicate her powers.” “What has that to do with Matt?” said Zane, holding the party’s only hunting knife. “Most shapeshifters can’t duplicate super-powers. And apparently void folding is very rare indeed. The most likely villain, one who is known to be able to duplicate metahuman abilities, is the Space Fandom. He’s an extraplanar alien that sends his victims to some kind of stasis limbo then takes their form and powers. I’m thinking that’s what happened to me in the darkness.” “You’re blaming your crime on imaginary aliens?” Lindsay objected. “I’m saying that if this dial and that marble were valuable clues, things that might help someone like Dr Harper or the Shoggoth to work out what was happening, then such a clue might be guarded. That guard might be someone who’s already acted in the plot once, someone like the Space Fandom. In the darkness he could phase back in whoever he was impersonating, phase me out, take my form, use my skills to kill Matt, then put me back in place covered in the blood he got himself sprayed with.” “That’s… quite a theory,” Dr Loring said. “But the simpler explanation…” “Doesn’t explain how Lindsay knew there were five columns growing on Lair Island,” Champagne said. “I never mentioned a number!” Champagne moved very quickly, punching the Space Fandom in the stomach before he could prepare or phase her out. Lindsay doubled over then shimmered. Another Lindsay appeared next to her for a moment, and then the winded Space Fandom appeared in his own shape. “You are too clever by half,” he snarled. “But I can solve that.” Champagne hit him again. If she kept him busy he couldn’t affect her. “What – what is going on?” The real Lindsay Parker panicked. The last she remembered was the night before the ruins shifted location. The Space Fandom tried to fight back, but his natural body was paunchy and unfit. “How dare you?” he cried out. “Do you know who I work for?” “Not yet,” Champagne said. “But I will.” “Not without that marble,” said the Fandom. And he blinked away. “What… was that?” asked Zane, wild-eyed, still clutching the knife. “Thanks for all the help,” Champagne told him. “That was a murderer. He got away. For now.” “This is beyond us,” Dr Loring said, bewildered. “Whatever can we do?” Champagne told him. “Tomorrow, we build a bonfire. And hope.” Continued by HH. |
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champagne (but edited and approved by HH himself) Wed Apr 30, 2008 at 11:35:42 pm EDT |
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