Posted by DBS - it was a great sorry AG, hope you don't mind me filling in a detail on November 21, 2000 at 03:51:20:
In Reply to: ag, grumbling. posted by Contest of Champions 2, or Revenge of the Bowling Night! the rest of Round 1! on November 20, 2000 at 16:35:15:
“So I say ditch the bum and let’s you and me find a great sunset somewhere and… oh, hi Hatman, I was just chatting with Whitney,” de Brown Streak smiled weakly. “And now you’re going, right?” “Right.” De Brown Streak goes off away from all the bowling people. Thinks – I don’t know why I came here. I was only an afterthought. They all know each other and they don’t even like me. Dancer was there. “Hey, it’s DBS, right? Hence the brown costume with the… streaks.” “Yeah.” “You don’t look happy. Need a slushy?” “Nah. I’ll deal with it. I just don’t feel really included here. I mean, it was nice of AG to invite me but everybody knows everybody else… Look, see how Troia plays with that Chronic guy, pretending to stab him with her spear? I stick out like a sore thumb. I tried to arrest the Hooded Hood and everybody just laughed. And then I went home and this time I remembered to put my costume on.” “Hey, some of us didn’t mind the literal streak, Brownie! Look, I think you should just take a walk outside, chill out, come back when you feel better.” De Brown Streak thinks about this. “I dunno. They might not let me back in.” “I REALLY think you should take a walk outside,” said Dancer. So Joshua Clement goes out into the car park. There’s a hundred twelve-foot tall battle cyborgs there. And behind them there are battle tanks. And battle hover-megacruisers. And other things that have battle in their name. And they’re all here to wipe out all the heroes of the Parodyverse in one go. DBS says: “Arg!” The villain is the Mole Monster. He was this mole that got shunned because he looked too much like a human, and now he runs this massive subterranean empire, naturally. He’s got all this incredible hardware and all these minions, because that’s what people who are deformed mole creatures always get, right? “Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!” laughed the Mole Monster. De Brown Streak is boggled by the amazing coincidence that he should step outside just as a major villain that nobody’s ever heard off attacks. On the other hand it’s all down to him to stop the major villain, even if it is a big deformed mole. So he zooms around, calling the Mole Monster nasty names. He zooms around really fast because he’s really scared, and the scarder he gets the faster he runs and the browner streak he leaves behind. The Mole Man says, “Kill him, and then destroy Larry’s Bowlarama! Today Larry’s Bowlerama, tomorrow the world!!!” Lots of homing missiles fly towards DBS. This is what DBS was hoping for, so he can do the old run in amongst the enemy’s battle cyborgs trick. BOOM! CRASH! SPROING! Etc. “Noooo! Idiots! Program the missiles to target only that annoying mutate! De Brown Streak now sees the control panel the minion uses. He blurs up to it and uses his medical knowhow to reprogram it to target moles. BOOOOMMMM! Mole Monster – “Ouch” Leaderless mole minions mill about. In DBS’s plan they all just go home now, but it becomes pretty clear that they are still thinking about killing everybody. Just when DBS thought he was doing OK. The Dark Knight wanders out of the Bowlerama. “Is anything going on?” Mole minions reply, “Er, no sir. Just moving along. Out walking the dog. Er…. Bye!” Mole minions burrow into ground, all things with battle in name vanish. DBS says, “How the hell do you do that?” Dark Knight says, “Do what?” DBS goes back inside to wait for a lane to get clear.