Dancer/Visionary "Follies of Youth" Maybe-Not-Quite-So-Severely-Limited Series #2: "Who are you, and what have you done with my bathroom?”

Visionary groaned as he rolled over in his bed and realized that he needed to get up and go to the bathroom. He didn’t know what time of morning it was, but it obviously was far too early for a Sunday. He groggily pulled himself out of the cozy covers and padded towards the bedroom door, pausing to snatch up the robe hanging from the back of the closet. His hair stood out in all directions as he rubbed a hand through it, loosely pulling on his robe and heading down the hall to the last door on the left. Opening it and walking through, it still took a moment before his groggy mind fully comprehended that this was not, in fact, his bathroom. The lack of any plumbing facilities was the first clue, while the hot teenage girl wearing a nightshirt and painting her nails was the second. He had just enough time to work through all of this as she looked up at him, likewise failed to register any sign of recognition, and hurled the bedside lamp at his head.

Visionary groaned as he rolled over on the hallway floor. He still needed to go to the bathroom, but now he was far more concerned about the duct tape he felt binding his hands and his feet. It was definitely far too early for anything like this. Not being used to concussions, he would need a while to catch up on current events.

“I don’t know, Kare…” a female voice was saying. “He’s got to be like Vizh’s brother or illegitimate son or something. You probably should have asked before beating the crap out of him.”

“Hey, Vizh knows the rules…” another girl replied testily with a slight Irish accent. “No entering my room without knocking, under penalty of death. That goes for houseguests too, so the warning should have been passed along. Besides, the lamp knocked him out of the way before the rigged acetylene torch triggered and burned off his face. He should be thanking me.”

“Well, he’s awake” the first one said, coming into his line of sight to look down on him. She looked to be an attractive blonde High School senior, and had more than a hint of valley girl about her speech. “Maybe we should ask him some questions before he gets all thankful on you. Or, you know, passes out again.”

Visionary was rolled onto his back as the girl from earlier this(?) morning grabbed him by the front of his robe. “All right, so who the hell are you? What have you done with Visionary? And did you see up my nightgown, or do you get to keep your eyeballs?”

He tried to focus on his attacker, but the exact number of faces in front of him tended to vary from one to as much as five. She generally seemed to be about his age, brunette, and really quite cute. “Wha..?” he managed as a suave opening line.

“Who. The. &*$%! Are. You?” She stated again, very slowly and very deliberately, shaking him with each word.

“Vi…Viz.. Visionary” he managed to slur out while becoming desperately afraid he was about to lose his lunch all over this girl. Or maybe his breakfast? Whatever his last meal had been. “I just woke up” he explained quickly, as that was about all he could be sure of right now and to him it seemed a very reasonable excuse for whatever this crazy girl was angry about. “Now who are you, and what have you done with my bathroom?” he countered.

The girl blinked in surprise, then bared her teeth. “Think this is a game, doofus? Taking your perverted little peep at me? I hope what you saw was worth the impending third degree burns…”

“I didn’t see anything worth anything!” he objected, then perhaps thought better of his phrasing as the already angry face looming over him flushed beet red while the older of the two girls laughed. “Er, that is…”

“Kerry, ease up and lemme try” the laughing blonde said, pushing between them and flashing a brilliant smile down at him. “Hi, I’m Samantha” she introduced herself, holding out her hand as if this were a normal meeting in the hallway outside of home room.

“Visionary” he replied, awkwardly trying to shake hands with his own bound limbs. “I seem to be a little lost” he added, becoming more sure of this fact by the second.

“I see” she responded encouragingly. “So, like… what were you doing in Kerry’s bedroom?”

“I thought it was the bathroom. I thought this was my house.” He looked around the unfamiliar hallway. “I really seem to be a little lost.”

“This… isn’t your house?” she asked.

“No” he answered. He was quite sure of it now. The layout was all wrong, as was the carpeting, furnishings, and the notable presence of two hot teenage girls.

“But you are Visionary?”

“Yes” he replied, happy to be making some progress in the conversation.

“He’s lying…” the one named Kerry growled. “Have his boxer shorts strangle him or something.”

“Hey, you’re the one who called me over here to help… let me do this my way” Samantha responded. “Besides, he’s kinda cute… if a bit young for me.”

“This is the weirdest birthday I’ve ever had” Visionary noted, half to himself. He did have to admit, however, that two hot girls were not far down his list of wishes when he had blown out the candles last year. The bondage and burn threats were a new twist, admittedly… but he then he was a year more mature.

“Ha! See… I told you he was lying!” Kerry declared triumphantly. “Vizh’s birthday is in March! He uses it as the combination to the security locks on the safe where he keeps his credit cards these days!”

“It’s… not March tenth?” Visionary asked.

“It’s October” the blonde supplied.

He blinked in surprise. “Cripes, how hard did the crazy girl hit me?”

“Okay, okay…” Samantha interjected before things could get out of hand again. “let’s all, like, calm down and we’ll figure this out. Without any skin grafts, Kare…”

“Hrumph” the younger girl grunted.

“Um… if we’re all going to remain calm and whatnot… do you think I could maybe be untied?” he asked hesitantly. “And possibly put on a pair of pants?”

“So this is 2004.” Visionary repeated flatly, now with pants.

“Yes” Samantha nodded encouragingly from the couch.

“And I’m a “fat, old, bald, stupid man”…” he quoted.

“At least, that’s what you claim.” Kerry agreed from beside her.

Visionary was pretty sure he never claimed any such thing. “And the Vice President’s son is now President.”

“I guess” Sam shrugged.

“And they really made more sequels to Star Wars?”

“Prequels. And they suck.”

“Oookay” he nodded, having finished what he thought were the relevant points of his summation while silently noting the possible exits. “So who are you two again?”

“I’m Samantha Bonnington, also known as Fashion Accessory, and your favorite and most brilliant student. In fact, you were just about to write a glowing performance evaluation for me for our latest midterms… If you give me some time, I’ll get it for you and you can sign it…”

“What?”

“Oh, come on…” she cooed, leaning over to provide a nice view down her top. “I’m sure you can remember wanting to do that for little ol’ me, can’tcha? Maybe wanting to do some other things too?”

“Sam…” Kerry growled.

“What? It’s a golden opportunity! Like I’m going to pass it up. Boys are much more hormonal and much less sticklers for little things like ethics…” She gave him a wide smile. “Besides, he is cute… Vizh, but with better hair and a harder body…”

“Eeeew!” Kerry gagged dramatically.

“See, even you admit he’s Vizh now.” Sam noted with a sly glance. “And like you didn’t check him out earlier when you were tying him up in his undies...”

Once again the younger girl’s face flushed deep red. “I… He…” She scowled and crossed her arms up to her chest. “I am so not having this conversation.”

“And… she is...?” Visionary prodded, feeling his ears burning and trying not to think of what exactly was checked out while he was unconscious.

“Oh, she’s your daughter.” Sam replied helpfully.

“What?!” Visionary and Kerry both yelped together.

“You take that back, you Barbie bitch!” Kerry yelled leaping to her feet. The couch suddenly burst into flames that reached the ceiling, sending Visionary scrambling backwards.

Samantha leapt up as well, laughing all the way, even as the flames caught the sleeve of her blouse on fire. With a negligent wave of her hand, the flames on her went out and her clothing reformed to a new, completely different and unmarred style. “Jeeze, Kare… learn to take a joke, why don’t you?” She beat out the burning couch with a nearby blanket.

“I am not related to the dorkus!” the younger girl proclaimed angrily. “I’m just stuck here because my sister has a sick, sick, sick sense of humor!” She turned her furious glare on Visionary. “Do you got that, dweebo? We are not in any way, shape or form family!” She blinked, and her expression changed. “Wait… what’s your problem now?”

Visionary was backed into the corner, staring wide-eyed at the two of them. “You just… she… her clothes… How did…” he stammered on like an idiot, not really minding the impression that gave just now. “Who… what… are you people?”

Samantha and Kerry exchanged worried glances. “I guess orientation might take a itsy bit longer than we thought” the older girl noted.

“Okay, so we take him to your sister.” Samantha stated, putting on some sporty sunglasses and buckling her seatbelt behind the wheel of her cute little red convertible. “She’s good at this kind of stuff, right? I mean, the dealing with messed up people thing. I may be good with boys, but there’s really only so much my multiple viewings of “I love the 80s” can do to help.”

“I still don’t see why we don’t just dump him at the Lair Legion and drive off.” Kerry muttered moodily from the passenger seat. “Let him be their problem.”

“Are you kidding me? With the Shoggoth, and Yo, and Hallie, and Glory and the rest of the freaks? The poor guy would totally have a coronary.”

“Yeah. What’s your point?”

Visionary sat quietly in the backseat, securely buckled in. If this really was the future, he didn’t want to be jarred around during take-off. He had made a quick break for the patio door after the terrifying display in the family room, but upon throwing open the drapes he found himself looking at a wall of dirt pressing back against the glass. Apparently people in the future lived underground… hopefully, he thought now, looking nervously up to the clear sky, not due to any excessive radiation. Resigned to the custody of the (still truly hot) young women, and not really knowing what to do otherwise if they were actually telling the truth, he had decided to just go along with it all for now. “What’s a Shoggoth?” he asked, his curiosity momentarily overcoming his fear.

“Stop asking stupid questions” Kerry said, not bothering to turn around. “Although I know that would be a challenge for you.” She put her feet up on the dash as the car was put into reverse and backed down the driveway, ignoring the accompanying frown from the driver. “We’ll go see my sister. She’ll know what to do next. She better, dammit.”

The drive was disappointingly routine, although the sights were entirely new. While there wasn’t anything specifically futuristic about the city (beyond perhaps the stylings of the other earth-bound cars,) Visionary had spent most of his life in the suburbs, so a metropolis of this size was enough to make him rubberneck anyway. Apparently, it was called “Parodiopolis”, and while he had never heard of it, it was definitely impressive. He wanted to ask what state it was located in, but decided it was better to avoid any more attention from the grumpy brunette. He desperately hoped her sister wasn’t nearly as crabby.

They pulled up outside of a café in the heart of the downtown area, with a modest sign reading “Bean and Donut” in the front. Improbably, there was a parking space just opening up right in front of the building, which was likely due to some kind of futuristic advanced traffic coordinating system that Visionary didn’t understand. Climbing out of the car, Kerry lead them through the doors and, not seeing whomever she was looking for in the restaurant itself, up the back stairs to an apartment door.

“Sarah!” she called, pounding on the door. “Get your butt out of bed, no matter who you have in it with you this time… It’s an emergency!”

“Who… Who is it?” a voice demanded with a slight tremor from behind the door.

“It’s Kerry, dammit… your sister? Now open up already!”

“Kerry?” the voice answered, completely surprised. There were the sounds of locks being undone, and then the door opened a crack. The face behind blinked in surprise, then opened the door the rest of the way to reveal another brunette of the same age. “Oh my god… Kerry?” she repeated, her mouth hanging open. “What’s happened to you… You look so old!”

Visionary looked back and forth between the two girls. They weren’t identical, but there was no mistaking the resemblance. “Wow… You never told me you two were twins.”

Kerry didn’t respond, but just looked at her sister in total shock.

“So…um…” Visionary prodded to break the awkward silence. “…is your mom at home?”

Next: Sarah will know what to do next. Honest.

And: Here’s where anybody reading can join in the fun. While the story may pick up other cast members as things go on, I figure there’s plenty of room for people to take characters not mentioned so far and tell their own stories of regaining their teen-age glory. So anybody wanting to look in on the Mansion (where the current line-up has all reverted back to age 16, but, I’m guessing, not the staff or any of the guests) is welcome to play along with their own “Follies of Youth” tie-in tale, and we'll see where it all goes.

Happy Sweet Sixteen everybody.

Post By Visionary begins the tale in earnest, and opens it up to anyone Sun Oct 10, 2004 at 09:03:37 pm EDT	Subject Dancer/Visionary "Follies of Youth" Maybe-Not-Quite-So-Severely-Limited Series #2: "Who are you, and what have you done with my bathroom?”

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