Jay sprung out of bed and quickly silenced his alarm. It wouldn’t do for him to wake up his new teammates this early. It was his second day as a member of the Lair Legion, after all, and it wouldn’t do for him to wake them up with his alarm clock.

    He yawned briefly, stretched, and made his way to the bathroom. He thought it odd that there were no boxes in his room; one of his teammates must have removed them as a welcome gesture. He could have sworn he had had more unpacking left to do, but maybe his mysterious benefactor had done so for him.

    After a shower and a shave, Jay padded back into his bedroom. As he finished drying his hair, he noticed a picture on his nightstand. It was of a woman that looked somewhat familiar. She looked a lot like Whitney, but there was no way it could have been her; the woman in the picture had to have been in her early twenties, whereas Whitney was a teenager. It wasn’t his picture, so the room’s former tenant must have left it behind.

    Jay debated whether he should put his costume on. Was he supposed to wear it all the time? Or did the Legion just suit up for superheroing and wear street clothes the rest of the time? He didn’t want to look foolish in front of his new teammates, so he decided to wear his costume, minus his Hatility Belt and cape. He rummaged around for his “Abundant Source of Natural Gas” t-shirt, but couldn’t find it. In his search he came up with a white t-shirt with a yellow diamond on it.

    “When did I buy a Vision t-shirt?” he said to himself quietly as he looked at the garment. Shrugging, he put the shirt on, as it was fairly close to what he normally wore. He finished lacing his sneakers then stood up to reach for his hat, but then he hesitated. His parents had always taught him that it was rude to wear a baseball cap inside. After mulling it over for a few moments, he attached it to his belt. Best not to take chances of offending anybody, but this way if he was supposed to be in uniform he could slap it on quickly.

    Satisfied with his appearance, Hatman left his room. He wasn’t due for monitor duty for another 15 minutes, but he figured that it couldn’t hurt to be early. Better early than late, he always figured. As he made his way down the stairs he looked at the pictures of various team members. There was Jarvis, then Lisa, followed by spiffy, NTU-150, Visionary, that empty patch where the Dark Knight’s picture should have been, Fin Fang Foom, Yo, Donar, Starseed, Messenger, Sersi, Banjoooo, but from there the pictures didn’t make any sense. There was a picture of himself that he didn’t remember posing for, followed by some neon green and orange guy, then some other man dressed in all black with glowing eyes.

    Hatman had made a point of studying up on the Lair Legion’s history when he was accepted to the team, and he didn’t remember anything about a “Goldeneyed”, for starters. What did a James Bond movie have to do with a superhero? He looked at more of the pictures along the wall. Pegasus was a member of the Scourge, not the Lair Legion, wasn’t she? He had no idea who the Captain America wannabe was. And there was a picture of that woman who looked liked Whitney again.

    But, he didn’t want to wake up Jarvis in the event this was nothing important. He figured it would keep until the leader of the Lair Legion awoke from his slumber. Hatman entered the Monitor Room, surprised to see nobody there. He was sure that this was one of Visionary’s 10 shifts of the week on Monitor Duty, but maybe he had been mistaken. He plopped himself down in the chair and scanned the screens, paying careful attention to every detail that he saw. Wouldn’t do to miss anything important.

    Suddenly the screens all went blank. Hatman lunged forward, alarmed, and began tapping at the keyboard frantically trying to restore the monitors. Completely independent of his attempted repairs, Hallie’s green face popped up on the screen.

    “Hatty, we’ve got problems!” said the concerned AI.

    “Umm, okay…,” answered a very unsure Hatman.

    “I’m discovering multiple Legionnaires reduced physically and mentally in age. I could really use the Tactical Advisor’s help right about now.”

    Hatman racked his brain desperately. Who was the Tactical Advisor? He thought that he’d heard someone mention the Dark Knight’s name in conjunction with that title, so Hallie must have meant the Dark Knight.

    “I’ll get the Dark Knight on the case right away!” exclaimed Hatman, proud of himself for not looking stupid.

    “The Dark Knight? Not that that’s a bad idea, mind you, but we need to get on this immediately! What should we do?” asked Hallie.

    Nobody warned him that he would be tested by the computer. “Umm, I guess we should notify Jarvis…” trailed off Hatman, unsure of himself.

    “Jarvis? Oh, wait a minute, not you too! How long have you been a Legionnaire?” Hallie quizzed.

    “It’s only my second day…please don’t fire me! Nobody told me there’d be a quiz!” pleaded the novice hero. Hallie approximated a sigh.

    “I’m gathering everyone together in the conference room. Meet us in there,” commanded Hallie.

    “Be right there,” replied Hatman eagerly. That was a request he could easily comply with. He reached for his Hatman cap where it rested on his belt; he didn’t have time to go and get the rest of his uniform, but he felt that he could safely wear his hat without reprisal now. He slipped the cap on.

    “What am I doing in the Monitor Room?” asked Hatman. Hallie, who had been about to project her consciousness elsewhere, paused. Was it her imagination, or had Hatman just grown a tad more and instantly grown a night’s worth of stubble?

    “I don’t care what you’re doing in there, rookie, just get to the conference room,” repeated the AI. She needed to gather the Legion together and fast.

    “Rookie? I’m hardly a rookie, Hallie. What’s going on?” demanded the Capped Crusader.

    “I already told you. The Legion has de-aged, and we need to figure out how to reverse it and who did it! Now get a move on!”

    “I don’t appreciate your tone, Hallie.” Hallie considered this radical change in attitude she was seeing from Hatman. A thought struck her.

    “Take off your hat for a moment,” she requested.

    “What?”

    “Humour me. Take off your hat.”

    “I really don’t see the meaning of this, Hallie-“ began Hatman before he removed his trademark ballcap. He instantly shrunk slightly and the stubble disappeared.

    “That’s what I thought. Put your hat on, rook.”

    “Umm, am I in trouble for something?”

    “Just put on your hat!”

    “Okay, okay, it’s on!”

    “Hatty, the Legion has been de-aged somehow, physically and mentally. When you wear your Hatman cap, however, you are restored to the way you’re supposed to be,” explained the AI to the somewhat cross at this point Hatman.

    “So I have to keep this specific hat on in order to maintain my proper age?”

    “Yup. Now since you are back the way you’re supposed to be would you mind helping me fix this mess?!”

    “Gather everyone together, like you were saying, Hallie. I’ll meet you down there.”