“Ante up, aces are wild boys!” Carl Bastion proclaimed as he smiled his wicked grin.
Carl, dressed in a tee shirt three times his size, jeans cinched up as tight as he could and boots with socks stuffed in the toes, leaned back in his chair at the card table. The boys around the table were all dressed in leather jackets and belonged to a local street gang.
The location was Big Red’s Bar.
Each juvenile delequint placed their cards on the table.
“HAW! FOUR ACES! You losers lost!” Carl, sixteen years old, thin as a rail and full of attitude, slammed his cards on the table.
A boy with slicked back hair, more muscles then he should be allowed to have and a face that looked like a bulldog’s scrotum jumped up. “What ya trying to pull new kid? I got two aces an’ we’re playing wit one deck!”
Carl realized maybe his trick deck might’ve worked better if he had remembered to swap with the local gang first. He made a note to remember his mentor Roy’s advice on the subject.
He jumped under the table and crawled fast to the pool table were he left his bow. He rolled the rest of the way, dodging the other boys kicks and grabbed it. Then his quiver fell into his groping fingers. He notched the arrow just like Roy had trained him since he was six, pulled and bullseye! The light on the rotating ceiling fan busted, showering the smoke filled room in darkness.
Carl hotfooted it out of the bar and onto the motorcycle he stole from that weird mansion he had woken up in. He was down the street before the gang could catch up.
“Stupid Carl! Always thinkin’ with your tricks. Like that’s gonna get you anywhere.” Carl thought as he sped down the City Street. “Alright. Gotta think. I woke up in some bed. Didn’t know where or why. The boxers I was wearin’ was too big. I looked around the room and found pictures of all kinds of fruits in long johns. Then I got a shock. I saw a picture of me, only older. I had a beard and moustache an was wearin’ some kind of green costume. Wearing costumes is second nature to me since I’ve been in the circus since I was five. So these pictures showed me in the future an’ I was still in the circus, big deal. Always figured I’d be there all my life. Kinda hoped I’d one day get out. Marry a nice girl an’ settle but hey, it’s me. Thing is, the place where my future self lived sure was no circus! I through these clothes on, grabbed this heavy bow and the quiver filled with arrows and left the room.”
Carl turned around the block and kept going. He saw the sign for Englehart Bridge and headed towards it.
“That sign don’t make no since. If this is Parodiopolis why isn’t that the Conway Bridge? Man the future is goofed. Anyway so where did I leave off? Oh yeah. There was some kid dressed in the flag like he worshiped President Reagan or somethin. He was fighting some buffed dude. So I decked out and started looking around. I found this bike keys on my future self’s dresser on top of that newspaper. That cinched what happened. This is the future, like in those geeky old movies. So then I snuck past that hot babe with the English dweeb an’ started down the hall. That hunchback dude saw me so I threatened to smack ‘em if he didn’t tell me where the car was that these keys went with. He called me ‘Trickshot’ and told me where it was. Got it and headed out. I don’t care what my future self is like or what the &*(&% he does for a living, I just want to hit the road and live large. Carl, this is your chance! Live it up…whuOOOHH!”
A strange energy bubble made entirely of what looked like stars lifted Carl and his bike in the air.
“Who the ^&*%$ blazes are you?” the teen who would be Trickshot asked.
Another teenager, this one dressed in blue jeans and a Green Lantern tee shirt with a star field mask, had an aura of the same energy effect around him. He had messy blondish hair and a goofy grin on his face.
“Hiya! I’m Amazing Guy! Hallie called and told me where to find you. Somehow the whole Lair Legion has been reduced to teens. Since I was never officially a teen I guess the effect just de-aged my body. It’s kind of turned my brain to a teen as well so you’ll have to excuse me if I almost drop you. Trying to get the hang of these powers you know.”
“Look geek. I don’t care who you are! Just put me down! I’ve got things to see, girls to conquer, stuff ta do!”
“Golly! You’re a mean guy, huh? Well chill out pal! You need to come with me. You escape and I’ll just chase after you.”
“I’ll beat you up when you put me down!”
“Well… true… and I guess you could pulverize me, but see I can do all this cool Green Lantern stuff so I’ll just hold you back. Yeah! That’s what I’ll do! So come on Trickshot. Lets go!”
Carl sat back and folded his arms as the energy bubble took him back to the strange bubble. “Great,” he thought, “I almost make a break for it and a nerd with a super hero complex nabs me. Well if I have ta go back I’ll just raise a little hell and maybe score with that hot chick I saw earlier. Then when I get a chance I’ll sneak off.”
Hey guys, here you go! You guys can take it from here. Just don’t say who AG is under the mask, ok? The reason will be clear soon enough. Otherwise, take them where ever you want in the story.
a.g.
Amazing Guy
Scott’s Site! Featuring Caption the Pic (where action figures talk!), Amazing Tales on the Web (stories and micros of the Parodyverse!), and JLA Micros (The entire JLA, as micro heroes!)
