Follies of Youth, Part the Tenth: The Perils of Flower Arranging

Originally posted on Tales of the Paradoyverse.

Characters in this story are owned either by myself, or other posters on the Board.

I apologise in advance if my narrative steps on anyone's toes, but - due to sudden work and a PC that was broken until this afternoon - I have not had a chance to read beyond HH's offering in this little melee. I will happily read the other offerings tonight or tomorrow.

I also apologise for pinching a paragraph from the original posting. It's just that it fitted the part so well...

"Would you have your youth back if you could, Harriet?"

"Not for the world."

"Nor I. Not for anything you could give me. Perhaps that's an exaggeration. For one thing you could give me I might want twenty years of my life back. But not the same twenty years. And if I went back to my twenties, I shouldn't be wanting the same thing."
"What makes you so sure of that?" said Harriet, suddenly reminded of Mr Pomfret and the pro-Proctor.

"The vivid recollection of my follies ... Harriet! Are you going to tell me that all young men in their twenties are not fools?"

Lord Peter Wimsey and Harriet Vane, Gaudy Night.

Deep in the Antarctic are the caverns within which dwell the Shoggoth. Caverns full of stygian darkness and many unnatural angles, the silence broken only by the sound of dripping water. And the Shoggoth watching it's anime collection.

The silence was shattered by a piercing, horror-filled scream.

Ebony sat up on her pallet, rubbing her raw throat. She hadn't woken up screaming like that since she was a neophyte. Back in the days when she was fresh from the jungles, still unused to caverns, and most definitely not used to Elder Creatures.

She looked around, expecting to see Most Holy Bridgit with her breakfast - mead and porridge - and tasks for the day. For all it's Celtic status, mead was soothing on a raw throat.

Then she remembered. She was the high priestess now. And Bridgit had retired. And died.

Ebony was feeling distinctly odd.

One of the advantages of being High Priestess to an Elder Creature obsessed with Anime was that you ended up with your own en-suite onsen [hot spring]. Granted, it was in an underground cavern, but hot and relaxing none the less.

Ebony lay back in the onsen, trying to relax and list her tasks for the day. The unreasoning terror that she had awoken with had reduced itself to something nagging in the background, leaving her with an unsettling mixture of nervousness, excitement and anticipation - just like her neophyte days.

Memories kept on intruding - being kidnapped and tied to the altar of sacrifice; the sudden and horrific appearance of an Elder Creature during the ceremony; the expression on the High Priest's face [there were some good memories].

Worst of all, discovering that the creature was not going to kill her.

Eventually, she gave up trying to relax. Concentrate on the job, and let the worries sort themselves out, Bridget always said.

She rose from the waters, dried herself and stood in front of her mirror [not a usual feature in an onsen] to prepare her hair.

A teenager looked back at her.

Her first thought was: Ah. That explained the odd feelings this morning.

Her second was: Someone is going to suffer for this.

The main problem, Ebony decided as she threaded her way through the back alleys of Soho, was that neophytes lacked self-discipline. Having a neophyte body with the ... well ... mind of a High Priestess simply meant that the usual adult/adolescent arguments just got internalised. She wondered if she gave Most Holy Bridgit this much trouble.

Another problem was making the body do as it was told. This became apparent when one of the local bravos blocked her way to make a few suggestions. Ebony tried to fix him with her "High Priestess of Vast Chthonic Abomination looking at a soon to be Very Brief Mortal" stare (known to be more effective than a gelding knife). Her body, on the other hand, decided to panic and back off.

The net effect was not as effective as she would have liked.

So it was just as well that Sherri and PJs used the same short-cut that morning. If nothing else, it meant that her accoster was beaten up by an ex-Ass-Raping Ninja.

Well, he would never know how close he was to being torn apart by an enraged Shoggoth.

The Reverend Harlsden was enjoying a morning tea outside one of the many ubiquitous Soho cafes. Breakfast with Ebony had become quite a common ritual these days.

This rather agreeable occupation was rather disturbed when PJs and Sherri guided a rather irritated teenager to his table.

"Morning, Reverend. We have yet another runaway teenager needing the counsel of the Church." said Sherri in a rather jovial tone.

"Freshly rescued." added PJs, a ninja of few words.

"Ah. Good morning Ebony." he said, rising.

PJs and Sherri stared. Ebony smiled and sat down.

The Reverend Harlsden looked at the standing couple. "Young people have no discernment." he noted.

"Right." agreed Ebony, aware of the irony.

After a small amount of explanation and a rather larger amount of discussion, it was decided (by Sherri) that PJs would take the day off and act as a bodyguard for Ebony. Ebony protested that she didn't need this (after all, she had a guardian Shoggoth), only to be told - rather bluntly - by the Reverend Harlsden that this was probably not the best time to be in touch with her inner child.

Ebony eventually gave in. After all, they were quite right. If she was stuck with the abilities of her younger self, she could probably use all the help she could get.

Thus, Ebony and PJs went off to Golden Square to investigate rumours of a gardener who was doing things man was not meant to do.

Golden Square is a small enclosed area situated in the west of Soho, roughly between the more famous sites of Carnaby Street and the Red Light District. (A rather fine picture of the square can be found here). The square, after the morning rush was quiet, save only for the occasional lost tourist.

And, of course, the gardener. He was engaged in clipping and shaping the Topiary. It all looked rather normal.

Ebony wandered round the square, PJs in tow. No sign of anything out of the ordinary. The various flowerbeds looked a little disturbed, but that was probably vandals.

No. The place looked just like a secluded London square.

Right up until the topiary started growing tentacles.

The Minion of Shub-Niggurath was rather impressed. It was used to being summoned by foolish humans, but had never been summoned through a circle made out of a rather small garden. Being (approximately) vegetative in nature, it approved.

Not, of course, enough to prevent it from eating the foolish human. It was an original idea, but summoning circles need to be very accurate.

It looked round the immediate area. The nearby humans were reacting in the usual manner (fleeing in panic, becoming insane and so on). Even better, the immediate area appeared to be free of Shoggoth (a sore point, as it's last appearance on this plane was neatly summarised as "Ah, Salad for dinner.").

Speaking of dinner, who was next.

The mature male human trying to fend it off with some form of metal tool (a gardening fork, to be exact)?

The immature female drawing a circle in chalk around the park?

Hmmm. Old and tough, or tender and juicy.

Circle?

PJs was busily engaging the Minion when he heard Ebony shout "Get out of there". He back-pedalled quickly, fast enough to see Ebony complete her circle, and then cut it with a single stroke of the chalk.

As he crossed the edge of the circle there was a very bright flask, and something threw him away from the circle. Looking in the brightness he was not sure, but he thought he could see a hooded figure, palpably radiating evil, power and hatred (thankfully, not focussed at him).

Then there was nothing but a bare flowerbed, with slightly scorched earth.

"What the hell was that!" he eventually managed to ask.

"Grand Seal of Atlantis." Ebony replied. "It was about the first thing I was taught."

"..."

"Not the true Seal, of course. There was only ever one person who could cast that, and he was from a different reality. Besides, he died when his reality was deleted."

PJs picked himself up from the pavement. "That's one hell of a sealing spell." he said.

Ebony smiled as she brushed the chalk off his hands. That was the mistake most people made when using the Seal. Usually, only once.

His stone-washed denim jeans are still stone washed, but are no longer blue.