“I agree. Let’s reconvene in two hours,” I suggest. There is no argument from the Legion; it would take rather rare circumstances to get your average teenager to turn down a free break. My many years of instructing the up and coming superheroes of tomorrow have taught me that.

    “Jolly good. I say Miss…Lisa, would you care to accompany me for a…uh, midday stroll?” Mumphrey Wilton asks. Lisa shoots him a mischievous glance.

    “Is that what the kids are calling it these days Mumph?” she replies. Considering that they are the kids today I find her choice of words rather ironic.

    Mumphrey blushes, but still offers her his arm, which she takes as they leave the conference room. The rest of the team files out, leaving Hatman and myself the sole occupants of the room.

    “Was I that bad at that age Dream?” he asks me as he collapses back into his chair.

    “You were a rare exception,” I remind him. “That’s how bad I was at that age.”

    Hatman chuckles at that. “Speaking of age, the time you’re from, what am I like?” It’s my turn to chuckle.

    “Oh Jay, do I really need to explain to you why I can’t tell you that? I like to think you picked up something from all the time we’ve spent together over the years, and by that I mean from your point of view, not mine.”

    “I know, I know. If you tell me the future then I might mess up the entire timestream. Though it’s more likely an alternate reality will form from the divergent point.”

    “True, but considering the fact that we are being affected with what I would assume to be magic of some kind, I’d rather not take that chance.”

    “What makes you think it’s magic?”

    “If this was technological there would not be as many diverse results as we’re seeing. I, for example, would have reverted to my sixteen year old self like everyone else. Mr. Epitome would have been completely replaced by his younger version instead of simply being physically transformed, much like Amazing Guy. I doubt that you would be able to maintain your proper age either. No, magic can be quite unpredictable, and I think that’s what we’re dealing with.”

    “In that case, we need to bring in a mystic. Normally I’d recommend Whitney, but she’s…unavailable. Xander is dead, and I haven’t been able to get in touch with ManMan and Knifey.*”

    “What about Hagatha Darkness?” I’ll be honest here, I only suggest her to make Jay squirm.

    “I’ll…keep that in mind as a possibility. What if I were to put on a Wizards cap?”

    “You’ll revert to Hatboy.”

    “But I’ve got Professor Foxglove to tell him what to do,” smirks Hatman. “I get the impression you could have just cut straight to that solution; are you trying to coach me?”

    “It’s become a force of habit,” I admit. “And I know you think you don’t need it, but you’d be surprised the things that only age and experience can bring.”

    “Fair enough. Well, let’s get to it then Prof.” Hatman reaches to his head and removes his trademark ball cap. He instantly shrinks slightly, and as always after the transformation from old to young, looks somewhat confused.

    I quickly fill in my even more junior partner on the plan. Though he looks nervous and unsure of himself, to his credit, he puts on the hat and concentration etches across his face.

    “I think I’ve got something,” he says, sweat dripping from his brow. Before he can get any further, the outer wall of the mansion explodes inward. Utilizing my still quite impressive speed I pull Hatman out of the way. We then both turn to face our attacker.

    He stands about seven feet tall, his muscles bulging from beneath the spandex of his outfit. Electricity crackles around his fists and smoke wafts from his nostrils. A pair of draconic wings complimented by a long tail spread themselves, making his countenance even more imposing. A quiver can be seen poking out from between his wings and a collapsible bow is strapped to his thigh. “You have mocked me for the last time, Lair Legion! Where once you mocked me, you will now cower before me! Prepare to die at the hands of the Birthday Bandit!!”

    “Hatman, alert the rest of the team. I’ll keep him busy,” I instruct my young partner. Hatman readily agrees and leaves the room, running for the nearest intercom. I crack my knuckles and allow a wry grin.

    “Detention is now in session.”

*Sorceress is currently the "guest" of the Hooded Hood. Xander the Improbable, the Sorceror Supreme of the Parodyverse, is believed to be dead. ManMan and Knifey are with Xander at the moment, recruiting allies for an upcoming battle.