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Dancer (via Vizh)
Sun Oct 31, 2004 at 06:13:06 pm EST
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Dancer/Visionary Limited Series Follies of Youth Special Post-Folly Edition # 21: “Yon Little Buggers Have a Nasty Habit of Creeping Through the Grass and Crawling Up a Warrior's Trews.”
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Dancer/Visionary Limited Series
Follies of Youth Special Post-Folly Edition # Whatever: “Yon Little Buggers Have
a Nasty Habit of Creeping Through the Grass and Crawling Up a Warrior's Trews.”


[The Story So Far: Wicked interdimensional imp Eddie has granted Sarah (Dancer)
Sheperdson's casual wish that she and the Lair Legion were sixteen again. Vizh
and Sarah have been enjoying a serious discussion of global issues and political
and electoral reform - no, stop sniggering, of course that's what they've been
doing! - and are now lying in the long grass in Off-Central Park staring up at
the darkening evening sky. That's where they get rescued.]


Glory, the Mutt of Might: Here they are! I have discovered two of the missing
people who have been regressed to puppies! Well, not exactly puppies since it is
very clear from the smell that Sarah has been on heat and that Visionary has...
etc. [Or, as the other members of the Jr Lair Legion] with Glory hear it: WOOF!


Fashion Accessory: Glory's found something! Over there. I'd recognise that tacky
retro-seventies overcoat anywhere! It's teach!


Ham-Boy: Man, we've been looking everywhere for you! We thought maybe you'd been
kidnapped by super-villains exploiting the fact that you're helpless and
incapable.


Kerry Shepherdson: He means more helpless and incapable than usual. If that's
possible.


Harlagaz: Ay! Twas a worrysome time, most especially when we didst find some of
thy garments abandoned across yon park. I thought mayhap ye had been captured by
rag-and-bone pixies!


Sarah, adjusting her blouse: Yes, that's what happened. It was a very close
thing.


Glory: Really? I cannot smell any small mythical creatures around here recently.
Well, except for the ones that live in Harlagaz' clothing.


Fashion Accessory: And these pixies tried to drag you away. That certainly
explains the grass-stains.


Kerry: Eew! It's a good job we got here fast or you two might have been doing
stuff that would still be grossing me out when I'm on pension. I can feel the
need for therapy just on the near miss! Ew!


Visionary: Hey, I'll have you know that we...


Sarah: Are totally disgusted at your dirty minds! Vizh was just showing me the
winter cowslips, that's all.


Ham-Boy: So that's what you kids are calling it these days. Man, we got here
just in time.


Visionary: Um...


Harlagaz, worriedly: If rag-and-bone pixes are nearby, tis best we organise a
hunt and eradicate them ere they spawn.


Fashion Accessory: It's not rag-and-bone pixies I'm worried about spawning right
now, big guy.


Kerry: I didn't think there was anything grosser than the idea of Visionary
actually doing it, except the idea of Visionary actually doing it with somebody
else, but the idea of Visionary doing it with my big sister...


Fashion Accessory: Little sister at the moment. You're kind of the mature one
now.


Kerry: Stop saying that! I am not mature! I am a juvenile delinquent pyromaniac!
I'm the problem one, not her!


Harlagaz: Glory, canst thou sniffest out any lurking pixies? Yon little buggers
have a nasty habit of creeping through the grass and crawling up a warrior's
trews.


Ham-Boy: There was a scout master like that back in Goth Haven but he's serving
time now.


Fashion Accessory: Kerry, if you're the problem one why is it Shep with Vizh in
the long grass?


Sarah: Maybe I just like winter cowlsips better than she does?


Kerry: That's it! I'm going to strangle her. That'd make me the bad one again,
right?


Visionary: I think I'd prefer to fight the rag-and-bone pixies.


Glory: I am very confused now.


Harlagaz: I art very confused now.


Ham-Boy: Now might be a good time to cut short the nature study and get back to
the mansion.


FA: Right. Before the study moves on to practical biology.


Kerry: Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew.


Visionary: She is not doing my inferiority complex any good.


Harlagaz: Retreat? Nay, though there be a million rag-and-bone pixies ne'er wilt
I flee. I shalt stand here until every last one of them hast slain me!


Kerry, head in hands: It's a gypsy curse. It has to be. I should never have set
fire to that caravan!


Visionary: Mansion? *hopefully* I have a mansion?


Fashion Accessory: Yes, you're a secret millionaire. You only dress like that to
fool the commoners into thinking you're a penniless dweeb. And colourblind.


Sarah: So he doesn't have a mansion?


Kerry: Is that why you wanted to winter cowslip pick with him?


Sarah: Certainly not. I wouldn't winter cowslip pick with somebody just because
they had a mansion. I'd only winter cowslip pick with somebody I wanted to
winter cowslip pick, if they were cute and funny and just slightly better at
fast talking than I expected, what with their innocent face and dopey good
humour.


Kerry: Ew. Ew. Ew.


Harlagaz: What ist? Yon pixies hast crawled where they shouldst not?


Ham-Boy: You just want an excuse to check.


Glory: Was it the pixies crawling that prompted Sarah to hurl her undergarments
over this hedge?


FA: Okay, everybody back to the Mansion, so we can find a cure for Vizh and
Shep, because this is creeping me out.


Harlagaz: Go forth, fair Fashion Accessory. I shall guard thy nether regions
from supernatural incursion.


Ham-Boy: Yeah, me too. Can we have a rota?


Kerry: It's not FA's nether regions I'm worried about being incursioned right
now. Vizh, get your hands off my sister willya? Before I burn them off her.


Sarah: What, I can't hold hands with a boy now without your permission?


Kerry: It wasn't your hand I saw him holding. Stop giggling!


Glory: We really should go to the mansion. Mr Epitome will know how to sort all
this out.


Ham-Boy: I don't think we'll be able to fit everybody on the Ham-Scooter.


[Junior Lair Legion lead Vizh and Sarah (holding hands) away to the next
chapter]


Rag-and-Bone Pixies: Whew! That was a close thing. We nearly got caught that
time.


To be continued




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