Tales of the Parodyverse

Post By

Keiko
Thu Jun 03, 2004 at 11:26:11 am EDT
Subject
This should be fun...
Originally
The Junior Lair Legion Programme Multiple Choice Exam Paper

In Reply To

HH invites the heroes of the Parodyverse to try out the questions the youngsters have to face 9and suggest any others you'd like to add)
Thu Jun 03, 2004 at 09:17:20 am EDT

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>
The Junior Lair Legion Programme Multiple Choice Exam Paper
>
> Write-in answers are allowed. Do not write on both sides of the page at once.
>
> Superhero Name:

None


> Alternate superhero description (e.g. capped crusader, wired wonder):

None


> Cutesy nickname (e.g. Coat Rack, Dancy, Fake Man):

None


> Bra Size: [This question deleted and we don’t let Flapjack near the printing press again]

He'll find out when I strangle him with it.


>
> Section One: Superhero Etiquette:
>
> 1. You have just captured Professor Manyarms, and now there is a raging turf war going on between the Office of Paranormal Security and the Super-Menace Principal Undercover Division about who has jurisdiction about the arrest. Do you:
>

E.    Quietly off the villain so he won’t be causing trouble ever again.


> 2. In combat with VelcroVixen, her halter top somehow comes loose in your hand, leaving her somewhat short in the costume department. Do you:
>

E.    Drop her through the pavement into the sewers, that should cover up the little tart good and proper.


> 3. You’ve just arrived at the crime scene and there’s an unknown super-type leaning over the body. Do you:
>

A.    Flatten the unidentified person and check later whether they’re a goodie or a baddie.



> 4. The Yurt wants your submarine sandwich. Do you:

Tell him that he can have half if he asks nicely.



> 5. You discover that you are now retconned to be another of the Hooded Hood’s children (or, if spiffy, retconned again). Is your first reaction:

Murder him in his sleep. It's a bad idea to allow someone dangerous to get too close, and if I know who I am I don't care what everyone else thinks.


> Section Two: Heroes and Villains
>
> 6. Peter von Doom is about to blow up the world again, and only you can talk him away from the big red lever. What do you say?

Nothing. I break off the lever and shove it in his rear end. He can pull it all he likes then.


> 7. NTU-150 entrusts you with his newest invention, the Bautistamatic Electronic Toothbrush. Do you:

Brush NTU-150's teeth with it.


> 8. You’re facing off against your evil double. Do you:
>

E.    Point out that there’s at least a case for them actually being the good double.



> 9. Wang the Conqueror is back in the latest interminable Round Robin, and only you can stop him. Do you:
>

D.    Ask to borrow that Impregnation Gun he’s got. That could be a lot of fun.



> 10. The diabolical Dr Moo has poisoned you so you have one hour to live. Do you:

Make him feel such pain that he would pray for death...unless he offers the antidote. If I will die, he will die suffering.


> Section Three: Coping With Crisis
>
> 11. You’re late for that all-important date/job interview/school exam but your archenemy is tearing up central Paradopolis. Do you:

Bring the date/interviewer/exam with me while I destroy the archenemy.


> 12. During the battle, your sweetheart is about to fall to her death off the Englehart Bridge, the archvillain has just set fire to a busload of orphans, the negativity-bomb is ticking down to zero and will kill half the hemisphere, the snoopy girl reporter has just taken a picture of you with your mask torn off, and your tights have ridden up really badly. What do you deal with first?

Put the bomb on the flaming bus with the orphans, and run over the archvillain with it. The orphans will die as heroes and the reporter will have one hell of a story.


> 13. Hit by the villain’s mutation ray, would you rather be transformed into:

B.    A radioactive dinosaur.



> 14. You are wrongly accused of a crime you didn’t commit by a world that hates and fears you. Do you:

Start harming witnesses until no one will testify against me. Sometimes the justice system needs a little nudge.


> 15. It’s one of those massive all-the-heroes vs all-the-villains battles, and you have to pick an opponent. Do you go for:
>
> A.    Pudu Lad. That way you have lots of free time to get your shopping done before the good TV starts.
> B.    Onslaughter. Nothing builds a rep like major head trauma from an A-list hero-stomper.
> C.    Gamona the Assassin. I mean c’mon, she only wears tattoos, who’s not going to wrestle with her?
> D.    Roni Y. Avis. Sure, he’s not a major threat, but internet spam is just so damn annoying.
> E.    The Parody Master. Death is better than having to do more exams tomorrow.

F. None of the above. I let them all kill each other.



> Hand in your papers at the end of the period. Do not include an combustibles, meat products, or undergarments.


You didn't list sharp objects.




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