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Post By Nats Thu Jun 03, 2004 at 06:57:25 pm EDT |
Subject I hope we don't need calculators or periodic tables, because my dog ate them. Originally The Junior Lair Legion Programme Multiple Choice Exam Paper |
In Reply To HH invites the heroes of the Parodyverse to try out the questions the youngsters have to face 9and suggest any others you'd like to add) Thu Jun 03, 2004 at 09:17:20 am EDT |
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| The Junior Lair Legion Programme Multiple Choice Exam Paper > > Write-in answers are allowed. Do not write on both sides of the page at once. Is that even possible? > > Superhero Name: Nats. > > Alternate superhero description (e.g. capped crusader, wired wonder): The Flying Phenomenon. > > Cutesy nickname (e.g. Coat Rack, Dancy, Fake Man): Neospiffy isn't cutesey. > > > > > Section One: Superhero Etiquette: > > 1. You have just captured Professor Manyarms, and now there is a raging turf war going on between the Office of Paranormal Security and the Super-Menace Principal Undercover Division about who has jurisdiction about the arrest. Do you: > A. Call Lisa and tell her there’s a lucrative lawsuit in the offing. > > 2. In combat with VelcroVixen, her halter top somehow comes loose in your hand, leaving her somewhat short in the costume department. Do you: > D. Dive on top of her to save her from public exposure and not get off until it’s safe. > > 3. You’ve just arrived at the crime scene and there’s an unknown super-type leaning over the body. Do you: > D. Ask them to hold still while you consult the Who's Who in the Parodyverse > > 4. The Yurt wants your submarine sandwich. Do you: > C. Tell him Goldeneyed has a much better submarine sandwich. > > > 5. You discover that you are now retconned to be another of the Hooded Hood’s children (or, if spiffy, retconned again). Is your first reaction: > A. “Eew, I’m practically related to spiffy.” > > > Section Two: Heroes and Villains > > 6. Peter von Doom is about to blow up the world again, and only you can talk him away from the big red lever. What do you say? > B. “Drop the destroying the Earth stuff and I can probably get you Dancer’s phone number.” > > > 7. NTU-150 entrusts you with his newest invention, the Bautistamatic Electronic Toothbrush. Do you: > B. Use it in combat against MODEM and face the war crimes tribunal later. > > 8. You’re facing off against your evil double. Do you: > D. Give them NTU-150’s Bautistamatic Electronic Toothbrush. > 9. Wang the Conqueror is back in the latest interminable Round Robin, and only you can stop him. Do you: > A. Ask him to explain his continuity. That should give plenty of time for the rest of the team to get here. & E. Stall for time knowing that the Hooded Hood’s going to do a final chapter that ties the whole plot up sooner or later anyway. > > > 10. The diabolical Dr Moo has poisoned you so you have one hour to live. Do you: > B. Grab Davidowicz and shout “Give me the antidote or the rat gets it!” > > > Section Three: Coping With Crisis > > 11. You’re late for that all-important date/job interview/school exam but your archenemy is tearing up central Paradopolis. Do you: > B. Send a note to the baddie saying you’ll be along in a couple of hours, and recommending the Bean and Donut Coffee Bar as a nice place to wait. > > > 12. During the battle, your sweetheart is about to fall to her death off the Englehart Bridge, the archvillain has just set fire to a busload of orphans, the negativity-bomb is ticking down to zero and will kill half the hemisphere, the snoopy girl reporter has just taken a picture of you with your mask torn off, and your tights have ridden up really badly. What do you deal with first? > A. The costume problems. Those spandex burns can be nasty. > > > 13. Hit by the villain’s mutation ray, would you rather be transformed into: > > A. A giant gorilla. > B. A radioactive dinosaur. > C. A flesh-eating zombie. > D. A Bros fan. > E. Nats. Hey...! > > > 14. You are wrongly accused of a crime you didn’t commit by a world that hates and fears you. Do you: > E. Report the matter to Visionary and tell people to forward the bills and lawsuits to him. > > 15. It’s one of those massive all-the-heroes vs all-the-villains battles, and you have to pick an opponent. Do you go for: > A. Pudu Lad. That way you have lots of free time to get your shopping done before the good TV starts. > > Hand in your papers at the end of the period. Do not include an combustibles, meat products, or undergarments. Not even my combustible meat-flavored undergarments?
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