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Post By Harlagaz Donarson (as told by HH) Thu Jun 03, 2004 at 01:13:32 pm EDT |
Subject Mine seemly and sooth answers Originally The Junior Lair Legion Programme Multiple Choice Exam Paper |
In Reply To HH invites the heroes of the Parodyverse to try out the questions the youngsters have to face 9and suggest any others you'd like to add) Thu Jun 03, 2004 at 09:17:20 am EDT |
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| Superhero Name: Donar Harlagaz, demihemigod of thunder, lordling of the living lightnings, scion of Donar Oldmanson, 'neath the spreading boughts of the the Worldling Tree so mote it be. Alternate superhero description (e.g. capped crusader, wired wonder): Tis best to let others choose epithets worthy of mine prowess. Cutesy nickname (e.g. Coat Rack, Dancy, Fake Man): I hath no cutesy nickname, and wilt smitheth any who giveth me one, yea and verily I am looking at thee spiffy Coat-Rack! I thinketh I art a 58B. Section One: Superhero Etiquette: 1. You have just captured Professor Manyarms, and now there is a raging turf war going on between the Office of Paranormal Security and the Super-Menace Principal Undercover Division about who has jurisdiction about the arrest. Do you: Raising a mighty tempest, I quell yon arguments by smiting both sides alike until they art more seemly. 2. In combat with VelcroVixen, her halter top somehow comes loose in your hand, leaving her somewhat short in the costume department. Do you: Verily this paper art most vexing. Why art this one not in the practical tests sectioneth? 3. You’ve just arrived at the crime scene and there’s an unknown super-type leaning over the body. Do you: If it be male I smiteth him forsooth with the full wroth of the oldmangrandson. If it be female I check to see if she be cuteth before deciding. 4. The Yurt wants your submarine sandwich. Do you: Never shalt I surrender mine sandwich to any fell caitiff, though he be the size of a small griffengjarm. Let the heavens ring with battle and the very foundations of the earth shiver at the combat! 5. You discover that you are now retconned to be another of the Hooded Hood’s children (or, if spiffy, retconned again). Is your first reaction: I wouldst have most serious questions to asketh of mine mother Freya. Section Two: Heroes and Villains 6. Peter von Doom is about to blow up the world again, and only you can talk him away from the big red lever. What do you say? Steppeth away from yon lever now whilst there is still time for thee to telephone for a proctologist. 7. NTU-150 entrusts you with his newest invention, the Bautistamatic Electronic Toothbrush. Do you: Yon Enty's devices are most vexing, with perplexing buttons which doth maketh them explode at unseemly intervals for the nonce. Mayhap I wouldst post it to mine uncle or aunt Hoki. Or give it to yon Kerry Shepherdsdottir. She liketh things which doth shatter into shrapnel, and upon receivething them doth bounce up and down in a most pleasing fashion. 8. You’re facing off against your evil double. Do you: Smite him most wrothfully for daring to feign the semblance of the demihemigod of thunder, and then smite the little bitty pieces most wrothfully once more. 9. Wang the Conqueror is back in the latest interminable Round Robin, and only you can stop him. Do you: See question 8. 10. The diabolical Dr Moo has poisoned you so you have one hour to live. Do you: Mayhap I wouldst asketh yon Mefrothto come come and discuss a pact. Yea, Mefrothto, sitteth thou here in yon chair whiles I show thou mine war-mace collection.... Section Three: Coping With Crisis 11. You’re late for that all-important date/job interview/school exam but your archenemy is tearing up central Paradopolis. Do you: If tis a date, then doubtless the female wilt wait for mine gloriousness. Tis more important to win glory and renown by smithething yon caitiff. 12. During the battle, your sweetheart is about to fall to her death off the Englehart Bridge, the archvillain has just set fire to a busload of orphans, the negativity-bomb is ticking down to zero and will kill half the hemisphere, the snoopy girl reporter has just taken a picture of you with your mask torn off, and your tights have ridden up really badly. What do you deal with first? I seek the counsel of mine hoary old mentor Visionary, for it ist not mine place to do yon thinking in the field of battle. Or anywhereth. 13. Hit by the villain’s mutation ray, would you rather be transformed into: A frothing grimpenghast. 14. You are wrongly accused of a crime you didn’t commit by a world that hates and fears you. Do you: Find he that accusest me and smite him most wrothfully for the nonce. 15. It’s one of those massive all-the-heroes vs all-the-villains battles, and you have to pick an opponent. Do you go for: The Parody Master. I couldst take him, methinks. Hand in your papers at the end of the period. Do not include an combustibles, meat products, or undergarments. Kerry Shepherdsdottir sayeth tis not possible to include her undergarments, as she hath wornest none.
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