Asil in Amsterdam (oh, and Troia as well)

Posted by The Hooded Hood hopes this keeps a certain someone happy. on July 05, 2001 at 15:31:07:

Correspondence to Lisa L. Waltz from Asil Ashling, a person.

Dear Doody-Head, I hope you and little Christopher are well and that little Christopher is not taking after you.

I enclose a postcard of Amsterdam, which is a nice city in Holland (a flat European country ten feet below sea level), which I recently visited with Sir Mumphrey to meet the Lair Legion on their world tour. Most of the LL had actually gone to Brussels where the European Parliament lives, but Mumphrey will not go there because he says Belgium is as interesting as chewing cardboard and not as nutritious, and because until these Europeans acknowledge British sovereignty and beg to be part of the Commonwealth he’s damned if he’s going to make nice to Frogs and Dagos. Sometime Mumphrey is a bit grumpy.

I had a nice trip to some windmills and things with Mumphrey then caught the tram into town to meet Troia for dinner. We did not understand the menu but Troia kept on threatening the waiter with her spear until the man brought something we liked. I had a sort of omelette thing with chocolate on it. Troia told me that chocolate is actually an aphrodisiac to Ziles’ race of aliens so she hid some in her handbag to slip Ziles later when Finny was nearby.

Then we went for a nice walk through the streets of Amsterdam by night. A man asked us how much money we wanted and so Troia said she was an Amazon and money meant nothing to her and I said I would like enough to buy an ice-cream and then the man went all red and made some gurgling noises and then Troia lost patience with him and crammed him into a garbage can. He did not seem to mind and kept shouting “Yes! Yes!” But he did not buy me an ice-cream.

We walked past these houses where all the ladies could only afford red light bulbs and could not afford curtains on their windows or to buy clothes. We found a man looking into one of these ladies’ houses and we suggested to him that the kind thing to do was to give the lady some of his clothes. Mumphrey would offer a lady his jacket. The man looked a bit surprised but not as surprised as when Troia showed him her spear and then he did what we suggested. The lady in the window was surprised too, but she was happy when she found the man had left his wallet in his jacket. It was nice to be able to help a person in need.

As we went down one alley some young men in leather jackets came up to talk to us. I asked them if it hurt to have all those tattoos on them, but they did not seem to speak English. One of them had that bent cross symbol that Nazis had tattooed on his face, and he tried to grab Troia, probably to ask her opinion about his tattoo. Troia must not have thought very much of his tattoo, as she pinned him to the wall with a spear between his legs. The other young men did not like this so we had to remonstrate with them, and then I bandaged them up while Troia was wiping the blood off her spear.

Then we caught a tram back to Mumphrey’s hotel and had hot chocolate. It was yummy.

xxx

Your loving clone,

Asil.