Dynamic Donar #39
Dynamic Donar #49- My Friend, My Enemy, Part 6
"Art thou completely mad?"
Donar asks the question in earnest. In the last few millennia, he has
tolerated Zookd, in all his manifestations, as the enigma he was. But
their relationship has just taken a new direction. Donar has been
asked by the Timekeeper to destroy that which he holds dearest to his
heart.
Seiren, his mortal love.
Zookd: "I'm sorry Donar, I had no control over this.."
Donar: "Thou knows as well as I that this could have been averted!!
And to hear that mine own hand must slay her...I...I must be alone.."
Zookd disappears again into that spooky mist thing that he does so
well, with a loud bang.
The explosion is an indicator of the rift he has just created between
himself and his Immortal companion. It is also a really handy way of
waking up everyone else in the mansion.
Lisa: "hmm..What was that??...Jarvikins?? Where are you??"
Jarvis: "I'm here, honey...And I haven't got a clue what that noise was."
Visz: "I do..."
All look at Visionary with a groggy, confused look.
Visz, "What. I can't be smart occasionally?"
Cheryl: "There there, love of mine, we don't think you are COMPLETELY
vague"
Spiffy: "Just MOSTLY...and I say that with the most utmost respect..."
FFF: "So, Visz, what was it?"
Visz: "Sounded like an explosion. One of Zookd's probably..."
Donar walks in, in another of his foul moods.
All: "Hey Donar!!"
Donar: "......(mumble)"
Lisa: "What's wrong my Nordic Numnum?"
Jarvis: "So help me Lisa, if you don't settle down I'm gonna..."
Tina reads the thunder god's confused mind: "Its Seiren....."
Spiffy: "You mean that weird Scottish bimbo??"
The words are hardly out of spiffy's mouth before a lightning bolt
tears the ceiling in twain and strikes the little dear where he
stands...or stood.
Spiffy's charred bleeding remains: "Mental note...substitute "lady"
for "bimbo"."
All look at spiffy, then at Donar: "I apologize...My powers are
unstable when angry...they seem to live of their own accord..Tina?
Might I speak with thee?"
Tina: "Uh..OK, Donar, I mean, you did help me find NTU in the
parodyverse a few issues back..."
NTU: "Honey?? Try to avoid upsetting him...y'know...the lightning
thing.."
Tina: "Got it."
Donar and Tina leave the room.
FFF: "Hey! Spiff!"
Spiffy: "........what?"
FFF: "You look like you just used one of NTU's toasters.."
Spiffy: "...shuttup..."
Lisa and Donar stroll through the Mansion's rose garden.
Tina: "We have a rose garden? "
Donar: "Evidently so."
Tina: " When did this get here??"
Donar: "About the same time as the doorbell, I wouldst imagine."
Tina: "Oh..er..you're not going to propose, are you?"
Donar: "Nay..I seek guidance from one gifted in thoughts and love."
Tina: "But we hardly know each other...and what about the others?"
Donar: "I would ask Lisa of love??"
Tina: "Oh. I see your point. Ask away."
Donar: "I hath been informed that mine one true love, mine soul-mate,
hath returned from the grave."
Tina: "OK...Seiren, right?"
Donar: "Aye"
Tina: "Well, I'm sure once you get over this "death" issue, you two
could be perfectly happy togeth..."
Donar: "I must slay her."
Tina: "Uh..Arent you supposed to save that for the divorce issue?"
Donar: "She doesnt belong here...She is a time paradox that will
destroy our universe. I must be the one to slay her."
Tina: "oh..heavy."
Donar: "Verily"
At that moment, a heavily armored shrubbery confronts our heroes:
"So, thought you could steal my girl, eh?"
Donar: "NTU?"
NTU pulls off the branches that composed his camouflage, all the
while managing to keep a semi-automatic weapon trained on Donar's
left nostril.
NTU: "That's right, thunder-britches...Get yer hands off my woman."
Donar: "What speaketh you of? Art thou mad also?"
Tina: "Hon? Are you jealous?"
NTU: "Uh..no...I just know what happens when two characters of
opposite sex go off panel in a comic...."
Donar: "I would not dare to impose on thy affairs of the heart, old
friend. I didst simply wish to ask advice of thy betrothed, and to
see if she could employ her psionic gifts towards the divination of
the current whereabouts of mine own love."
NTU: "What?"
Tina: "He has girl trouble."
NTU, relaxing the gun back to a prone position.: "Oh."
Tina: "And he wants to know if I can help him find her"
NTU, sitting down: "Oh."
Tina: "And the gun is a moot point. He's bulletproof, remember?"
NTU: "Oh yeah"
The three walk back inside and explain Donar's predicament to the
rest of the LL. Twice to spiffy, as he is now mostly deaf in his left
ear, being the one that was hit by lightning first. Thee LL agree to
aid Donar for two reasons. One, the title says Dynamic Donar, so he
pretty much calls the shots here. The other, the fact that it's help
him or look at Visionary's vacation slides for the next 17 hours.
After a few hours of searching Parodiopolis, the heroes are empty
handed. Cheryl found a really good stain remover for powder burns,
which can be handy living near NTU, and Lisa found the perfect shade
of black lipstick, to match her boots, but no-one could find Seiren.
FFF, spiffy, NTU, Jarvis and Visionary had volunteered to search
every strip club and bar in a five mile radius, but to no avail.
It seemed as though Seiren had just disappeared.
Tina: "I dunno Donar..I cant find her anywhere..It's almost as if she
left...or was never here.."
Donar: "True. I had not laid eyes on her, only hearsay from the
others."
Tina: "But I saw her"
Cheryl: "So did I"
Donar: "And there goes that argument."
Tina: "Wait...when did she get here..exactly??"
Donar: "Just before Yo brought you back from NTU's happy place.."
Tina: "THAT'S IT!!! HER ARRIVAL WAS THE RIFT I FELT!!" **
** (She did, too, back in DD#43....I know, I cant believe I fluked it
either..)
Donar: "And?"
Tina: "I can find her...I just have to focus on the rift.."
Tina closes her eyes, and floats a few feet off the ground, her
thoughts solely focused on the rift she felt over six issues ago,(
not counting crossovers or Christmas specials.)
Donar feels Mjalcom vibrate in his palm. Lisa watches with keen
interest. Jarvis looks at the alluring Yo.
Mjalcom flies from Donar's grasp, towards, presumably, Seiren's
current location.
The hammer (OK, OK, I'm bowing down to pressure from other
appearances where my bat has become a hammer...just to prove what a
nice Thunder God I am, yes, It's a hammer...well...It's a baseball
bat with a hammerhead attached...or a hammer with a baseball bat for
a handle..either way, Its still got the enchanted nail and the
sticker...) flies through an orphanage, then a hospital, then another
orphanage, until it comes to rest at the top of a hill, overlooking
Parodiopolis. The LL rush up the hill frantically, trying to keep up
with the possessed hammer/bat/whatever-the-hell-it-is.
There sits a beautiful woman, with flowing red hair and eyes bluer
than the deepest ocean. Her hair frames her angelic face, as a stray
tear runs down her cheek. She is dressed in middle age Scottish garb.
Donar is the first to reach the summit. He stands behind the woman.
The LL stands back, awaiting the scene to follow. She turns.
Seiren: "Donar?"
Donar: "Seiren?"
The two walk forth hesitantly, until they are but a few feet apart.
They stop and stare at each other.
Seiren: "Be that you, my love?"
Donar: "Aye. Tis me, betrothed."
Donar steps forth and scoops the fragile flower up into his powerful
arms. Lisa curses to herself.
The others wonder when they became Mills and Boon extras.
Zookd appears out of sight to all but Donar.
Zookd: "Remember what I told you...the fate of the parodyverse is in
your hands...."
Donar's hands begin to wrap around Seiren's exposed tender
neck...........
MAN!!! THAT WAS GREAT HUH???
WASN'T IT???
GUYS???
C'MON...SPEAK TO ME!!!
LISA???
CONTINUED SOONISH.....