Lisa: "WHAT???"

She has just heard the news that she is apparently destined to become Zemo’s bride, and play a key role in the subjugation of the Parodiverse.

Visi: "Now now Lisa, clam down"

Cheryl: "Yes Lis, after all it is only a possibility."

Lisa: "MARRIED!!!!ME????"

Yo: "You arent worried about Zemo bit?"

Lisa: "Huh? No, he’s powerful, all lawyers like power…But married??"

Donar: "Waiteth a minute…Zemo becoming thine partner doth not concern thee in the slightest?"

All look at Lisa as she tries to deny her secret crush

Lisa: "Um…well…he does have motivation. And he’s got some prime real estate."

Jarvis: "HE WANTS TO KILL US!!!!"

Lisa: "Nobody’s perfect. Besides..I thought you were dead?"

Jarvis: "Uh.I got better."

Scene: The apocalyptic future.

Donar, Enty and the purple bunny whose name eludes me recover in their bunker from their most recent confrontation. Ironically enough, it is an abandoned Zemo missile silo. Their enemy has proved to be their greatest ally, the walls of the silo proving to be impenetrable to the previous owner’s attacks.

A gnarled old man resides at one end of the silo, and although his identity is shrouded in secrecy, he has also proved to be invaluable. His innate knowledge of Castle Zemo has helped turn a futile resistance into a possible victory.

He speaks to the newly returned heroes.

Old Man: "Did they fall? The drones did not sense NTU’s cloaking?"

Donar: "Nay. They saw not a thing."
Old Man: "This is good. We can use this to our advantage. If alien tech is this effective, there can be no doubt that…"

NTU: "When do I get to destroy Zemo?"

Old Man: "Anger will not lead you to anything but defeat young Jaime"

NTU: "Jaime is dead. Jaime died the second Zemo killed Tina. There is only the machine now."

Old Man: "I too know of death, NTU..I am not the man I once was. To be allied with the likes of you would have once been worse than death. I know now that death has many faces …make no mistake..the man I was is as dead as Motley Crue."

He stands on weary legs and drags himself back down to his corner.

Donar: "Something about him doth ring quite familiar, old friend. I know him to be a man from our past, but it is like grasping at smoke..just out of reach"

NTU: "I need sleep..and I don’t care, Donar."

Donar watches over his friend and preys that the valiant resistance leader they have heard stories of will arrive soon. He will be their only hope.

Meanwhile at Castle Zemo:

A figure broods over an open fireplace. The figure is totally covered in thick armor, over which is a green hood and cloak. No skin is visible to the eye, except two narrow slits in a mask. The eyes look down at the fire, almost hypnotised by it’s fiery waltz, the elegant smoke wafting upwards through the chimney, and into infinity.

A serf enters the room.

Serf: "Baron Zemo, I have grim news."

Zemo: "You dare enter without my leave?"

Serf: "Um..Baron, if you leave, I would not need to enter."

Zemo: "No, you idiot, I meant that you would dare to enter this room without my permission?"

Serf: "Oh. That. Sorry. But I have bad news that would explain my affrontery."

Zemo: "You assume much. We shall see."

Zemo grabs the scroll from the cowering street-urchins hand. Opening it slowly, and reading by the flickering firelight, the serf can hear Zemo’s disgust.

Zemo: "Begone."

Serf: "Thankyou Master. I am sorry for barging in."

As the serf turns, a yellow flash consumes him. His charred skeleton falls to the floor, and shatters.

Zemo stands there, arm outstretched, vapour trail emanating from the armour’s fingertips.

Zemo : "I forgive you."

The scroll soon follows the fate of its bearer as it is cast aside into the open flames. It reads:

"The Leader has not been found. We have word that he plans to lead the resistance against you soon. One battle. We do not have the resources at hand to delay or defeat him."

Following this passage is the seal of Foom. After the events that lead to spiffy’s death, Fin Fang Foom became the sole owner of the detective agency. Upon the events that lead to this future, The humble agency came into becoming the new CIA, FBI and HBO all on it’s own. If you want answers, the Order of Foom is the place to go. Providing you have the money and the power. Zemo has all of both.

Scene: The Top Top Top Top Top Secret Science labs of Zemo.

Zemo strides in with a defiant arrogance, to suit the mood caused by the grim news just received.

Zemo thinks: "So, my old enemy will be here soon to defy me, eh? One last battle to decide the fate of the both of us..so typical..I will win this battle Leader..It will take more than a simple name change to convince me you are any less a fool than you were when we fought side by side oh so many years ago…"

Zemo’s eyes wander towards the creation that will decide the outcome of the war.

A (naturally) mad scientist is hard at work on a large arm that protrudes from the monstrosity.

He clicks the final laser in place, before enclosing the beast in a close fitting mold..

Dr Crackpot: "Aaaaah…you are here, my liege…the work is done..time goes on without a sound yet the noise it makes is deafening…"

Zemo: "Is the creation ready?"

Dr Crackpot: "Yessss..my pretty pretty demon is ready to crush the life from the one you must destroy.

The angels are dancing on the genitals of green hyenas."

Zemo: "Oooookay…have you been screwing with the Madlib virus ?"

A voice speaks up from the shadows behind them "All those who have seen infinity seldom remain sane.."

Zemo casts a light upon the voice…strapped to a large machine, and surrounded by magnets and talismans sits Zookd.

Zemo: "Aaaah…the timekeeper. I hope you are enjoying my hospitality, Zookd?"

Zookd: "Surely you do not think that you are keeping me here? If I am here, it is by my will only."

Zemo: "So you say…Even so, I will soon have need of you no longer. As soon as this monstrosity is encased with flesh, it will be ready to depart on it’s mission…..and your usefulness will be exhausted."

Zookd grins the wry grin that only one who exists in the fourth dimension is capable of grinning.

" You assume to exhaust that which is infinite? Your mind could not begin to understand what I am…or you are."

Dr Crackpot flips a switch and opens the mold….the abomination steps out…and speaks.

"What is my mission?"

Zemo: "Destroy the Leader before lucidity is his to grasp. Go forth, Apostate!!!"

Apostate steps forward and through Zookd’s "body". A charge surrounds them both, as they disappear.

Zemo laughs: "The Leader won’t know what hits him, and as for Zookd…he is destroyed!! An unexpected bonus!!"

Zookd steps out from behind Zemo: "Aye..a bonus indeed…if it were true..or even possible. I told you Zemo..I am Infinity defined."

He disappears as Zemo breaks Dr Crackpot’s neck in anger.

Our Time: The lair again.

Jarvis: "OK, Wayo…you are positive it’s Lisa who marries Zemo?"

Wayo: "Im, like so totally crystal on this one, bro..Seriously, she’s like, pure evil."

Jarvis: "I couldn’t agree more..but she marries Zemo?"

Foom: "Hey..uh…anyone seem spiff? It’s kinda different without him around. Almost..quiet."

Donar: "I art sure he willst be around somewhereth."
Vis: "Man…Cheryl, can you help us with this? With the giant purple guy and the evil Lisa thing I am like, so confused…GAAAAH..Now I’m starting to sound like him.."

Cheryl walks out from the computer room…she had managed to go for a quick surf online while her loving hubby had been pre-occupied with impending doom and whatnot. A rare occurrence indeed.

Cheryl: "What is it, Vis?"

Tina: "We have some problems, Cheryl…maybe you better read this for yourself."

Visionary hands Lisa his signed issue of Dynamic Donar #51.

Cheryl: "Oh God. That Greek guy’s back?"

Donar: "Dammit, I art not Greek!!!"

Vis: "Its worse hun…look…"

Cheryl glances over the pages within ( Ok, I know!! #51 was, like, one, maybe two pages maximum…I used a bigger font on Visi’s copy. Easier for him to read.)

She looks up ( after laughing hysterically at every joke contained within, I might add )

Cheryl: "We have a Hulk?"

Yo: "Sulk…We have Incredible Sulk."

Cheryl: "And who is this guy, The Silver Surfer??"

Wayo: "I’m Wayopex. Snootchie bootchies."

Cheryl: "Um..what?"

Sersi: "He’s the Chrome Cruiser..and I think he’s cute."

Wayo: "So does my babe…man, she is such a dish. My peeps be buggin’ cos she so fly, y’know?"

All: "????"
Wayo: "My girl…on my home-boy planet. Her name is Nyxali-Bal. She is like, the smartest woman in the world."

Foomy: "If spiffy were here, he’d say: If your intelligence was the norm, she wouldn’t have much competition….or something like that…*sigh*"

Foomy wanders off looking for his litle pal…"spiff???"

Wayo sits on his hovering board and mopes: "I miss my babe.."

Donar: "Fear not, Wayopex, I am sure you shall be returned soon."

A sound not unlike a thunderclap explodes outside…

The Lair Legion rush towards the source.

They find a glowing orb, crackling with energy. It slowly recedes to reveal the..man…within.

A naked guy rises to his feet from a crouching position.

Lisa and Sersi take note of his "dimensions" in case they need to fill out a police report.

The man then grabs at his chest, apparently tearing the flesh from his bones.

He peels away his shell of skin to reveal…

Cheryl: "Isnt that…"

Jarvis: "That’s the…"

Visi: "…The Apostate…"

Apostate: "So Leader..I have found you."

Lisa: "Yes..you have found me, the Leader of the Lair Legoin."

Apostate: "I speak not to you, strumpet, I speak to the man who will cause the downfall of Zemo’s reign…The Leader of the Resistance…"

He raises an arm, out of which pop lots of cool little crosshairs and guns and rockets and lasers and stuff..

He aims it at his target.

Apostate: "Hasta La Vista, Visionary."

OK, LET ME GET THIS STRAIGHT.

LISA IS MARRIED TO ZEMO, AND VISIONARY

WILL LEAD THE LAIR TO VICTORY IN THE FUTURE?

* I need a drink *