Welcome, friends and foes alike to the newest instalment of the ever exciting adventures of Donar, the Ausgardian God of Thunder.

(Gatefold Cover: Herein lies a summary of last issue's key events! Better take note before it becomes advertising space for Gameboy Color.)

Last issue..The alternate timeline was diverted and everything was ok.

(If this isn't enough info, go to the repost about ½ a page down..)

And now, we present a little tale we call

"Dynamic Donar #56"

Lisa, spiffy, NTU, Tina, Jarvis and Donar are all sitting around the open fireplace in the mansion's rumpus room. They are deeply engrossed in "Magnum P.I." for different reasons.

Lisa: "See that rugged chest? Oooh..Tom Selleck is such a HUNK!!"

Donar: "Rug indeed! His torso art reminding me of the hairy backed Slothengruben that did plague the mystical realm of Germanica many eons ago!"

spiffy: "How does he get those women?"

NTU: "It's the car. Chicks dig the Ferrari"

Tina: "Ahem. Chicks?"

Jarvis: "Busted...heh heh heh. Here comes that disgrace to butlers again. If I was him I woulda had the dogs leave surprises in Magnum's slippers years ago man, he is such a suck-up!!"

Then the unthinkable happens.

The lights go out. The TV is off. The room is pitch black, lit sparsely by the dying embers of the open fire.

Foomy runs in: "AAAAH!!! We're under attack!!!"

Lisa : "Fear not!! I hold Mjalcom in my hand!!"

Donar: "Uh...Lisa?"

Lisa: "Yes?"

Donar: "...that isn't Mjalcom."

Lisa: "Oops...sorry Donar...It's dark, you can understand.."

Donar: "Lisa?"

Lisa: "...yes?"

Donar: "Couldst thou let go?"

Lisa: "sigh...Can't blame a girl for trying."

Jarvis: "OK, first we better establish who it is and where they would plan to strike next.."

Melissa, from an adjoining room: "Tim?"

Donar: "Tim?"

Jarv: "Honey? Better call me Jarv here.. don't wanna confuse the big one..he breaks stuff.."

Mel: "I found a torch...I just have to turn it on.."

NTU: "We have a torch? When did we get a torch? Why wasn't I told?"

Lisa: "Uh..where was it?"

Melissa: "It was in your bedside drawer."

Lisa: "Um..I wouldn't turn that...( a buzzing noise is heard followed by a shriek and the clatter of shattering plastic)...on."

Jarvis uses his remarkable intuition to find his way out to his beloved, safely returning her to the rumpus room.

Foomy: "Y'know, it's kinda quiet for an attack."

spiffy: "Yeah...who attacks subtly out of our rogues gallery?"

Lisa: "Dr. Doom?"

Yo: "Dr Doom is not being one of ours!"

Lisa: "Please Yo, I'm not having a great night so far..let me have one ounce of denial?"

Jarvis: "The boys have a point..I dont hear anything outside..."

Melissa: "But who would just cut the power and not attack?"

Donar: "The Electric Company?"

The assembled LL stand around in the dark, feeling a collected sense of stupidity.

Jarv: "spiffy? did you pay the bill?"

spiffy: "I couldnt..I gave the money to Lisa!"

Lisa: "What money...Oh that money, sorry...Lawyer reflex. I gave it to Foomy to take in, cause I had training with Donar."

Donar: "Aye..I didst help tutor young Lisa in the wielding of Mjalcom."

Foomy: "Well I havent got it..I left it on top of the woodpile for Tina!"

Tina: "I never got it!"

Jarvis: "OK, so where the hell is it now?"

The embers crackle.

Jarvis: "GREAT!! No electricity."

Donar: "Hmm...perhaps I may be able to remedy this...."

Donar walks over to the wall socket and places his hand over it. He closes his eyes, as small sparks dance down his spine. He mumbles something in an arcane tongue..unintelligable gibberish to the unknowing..his hand moves back slowly from the wall, as an arc of lighning dances between his fingers, and into the socket..the lights glimmer brightly, the tv hums to life. Donar reaches back towards Lisa, reaching for Mjalcom. She hands it over willingly, as he leans it on top of the arc. He rises to his feet as the power is magically restored, via Mjalcom.

All: "KICKASS!!"

Lisa: "How did you do that?"

Donar: "Ahh...A childhood trick taught to me by mine Mum."

Tina: "The Earth Mother?"

Donar: "Aye, Gail. She didst teacheth me some things as a youth, I had all but forgotten them!"

Jarvis: "So it looks like we've got free electricity for life then?"

Donar: "Nay...the link to the Earth will last only until daybreak, then her energies will be needed elsewhere."

Lisa: "So, how's it work?"

Donar: "I have called upon the minutest fraction of the storm, and it has come to me. I now implement Mjalcom as the key, to keep it comimg within. Tis a force I have not used in years long gone. This is natural lightning..from mine mother. Tis not the kind I am known for."

The rest of the evening is relatively event free...so let's skip to the good bit, shall we?

Next morning.

Lisa has been on the phone to the Power company for about two hours. The power is eventually switched back on, much to the suprise of the LL.

Cheryl: "Lisa? How did we pay the bill? Our entire utilities budget went up in smoke last night!"

Lisa: "Easy..I was charging the Power guy $4.95 a minute to talk to me..we broke about even in debt, so he wrote it off."

There is a knock at the door.

Visz: "I'll get it!!!"

Jarvis: "See Lissie? Told you this butler gig was a cinch."

Visz opens the door to a very attractive woman, long hair and the deepest blue eyes he had ever seen.

Visz: "Gahagafaga."

Woman: "Pardon?"

spiffy: "Who is it Visz, for pete's sake just.....wow."

Woman: "Um..I'm wondering if Donar is here?"

Visz and spiffy ( and now Jarv, Yo, Foomy, Enty and..uh..Lisa): "........"

Cheryl: "ADAM!!!"

Visz is brought back to reality..: "Oh, sorry, yes, would you like me to get him for you?"

Woman: "If you wouldn't mind?"

Visz goes upstairs to Donar's room, where the Thundergod is apparently still asleep.

Visz: "Donar?? *knock knock*...You awake pal??...Hmm...not like him to sleep in."

Donar opens his door, looking rather haggard.

Donar: "Aye? What dost thou want at...Zounds!! It is 10:30!!! I did sleep so soundly, like ne'er before, except maybe in my youth.."

Visz: "Uh, there's a woman here to see you..she's waiting outside..should I let her in?"

Donar: "Aye, I am on mine way..."

Donar meets the woman at the door, as the LL speculate her identity.

spiffy: "She is SO hot...wonder if she's the reason Lisa cant get him?"

Foomy: "I cant believe he was holding out on us!! A babe like that and he never showed her off once?"

Lisa: "Thats because he is a gentleman....dammit..."

Yo: "Nice lady is make me feel all inside funny."

Donar walks in, the woman follows.

Donar: "Uh...friends? I wouldst liketh thee to become acquainted with Gail....Mine mother."

Jarvis: "Ugh...I feel ill"

spiffy: "....I was perving at Donar's Mom...kill me now."

Gail: "It's a pleasure to finally meet you all. Donar, my son, if you dont mind could we speak alone?"

Donar: "Aye..."

As Donar and Gail leave, the others make a solemn pact to never mention the fact to Donar that they thought his Mom was a hottie.

Donar and Gail are seated in the Conference room.

Gail: "Son, how can I put this...I noticed you used majick last night."

Donar: "Aye...And I know not why I chose to..It seemed instinctive. I am feeling much the worse for wear though.."

Gail: "I had a feeling this day would come...I had this made in readiness.."

Gail pulls a large black hooded robe covered in gold runes from her bag, wrapping it around Donar's shoulders.

Donar: "I feel...stronger.."

Gail: "It was made for you in the event that your maternal blood ever overcame the blood of your father. I notice you have cast off you beloved Mjalcom?"

Donar: "Aye..I underwent a sojourn of late..I found it more of a burden than an aid..Twould seem my link with Ausgard is diminishing the longer I stay 'pon Middlegard."

Gail: "The same could be said of your half sister...she also draws more power from the Earth than

her Father's realm...and she is not even my daughter."

Donar: "Whate'er became of her?"

Gail: "Fear not..I have watched her...she has a past with one of your allies, but they do not know it...as for you...wear the robe, and try to visit occasionally? A little training couldn't hurt, could it?"

Donar: "Ha..ever the wise one...it shall be done.."

Gail: "Do you want your old wristbands?"

Donar looks at the two leather bound steel bands in his mother's hands.

He laughs."I know someone tht would find a far better use for these than I...Thank you Mother."

Gail: "Well..I better go..I'm sure you have lots of hero things to do..Be well..and recycle."

His Mum disappears in a fine mist...it is as if she was never there.

Donar opens the door, as a pyramid of LLers avalanche in the doorway.

Donar: "Thou were not all listening wert thou?"

All: "...uhhhh"

Lisa: "We were just worried, big guy.."

Jarvis: "Yeah..I mean...you were gone for ages, then you come back and shoot lightning from your hands, and well..damn the fancy talk, we were just worried."

Donar: "It near brings a tear to mine eye to hear the compassion that mine friends feel for me...Jarvis, thou has oft been the brunt of many jokes..I have a gift for thee.."

Donar hands Jarv the wristbands.

Jarv looks down at the short yellow fur that covers the two metal bands..there are also some black and white stripes...kinda Motley Crue looking, but he puts them on regardless.

Jarv: "Uh..nice...what are they?"

"They.." Donar starts.." ..are the self same bands I used as a youth to learn to control electric pulses...cross them over, and verily hope that no-one dares touch thee."

Jarv does so...nothing.

spiffy: "hahahaha...they dont work, pity, Jarv."

He slaps Jarv on the back. He is then thrown through the air in a shower of sparks, finally coming to rest embedded in the far wall.

Jarvis: "COOL!! Not real sure on the animal print though.."

Donar: "Aye...twas the only use we couldst find for those little rodents that did once infest mine homeland...Chikaplu's I believe they were called...their hides didst prove a most comforting barrier from the steel.."

OH WOW...JARV IS A POKE-BUTLER?

DONAR IS GONNA START FIGHTING CRIME IN A BATH ROBE?

stay tuned for more details in Dynamic Donar #57, shipping soon...I hope!