Baron Zemo's Lair. - Dynamic Donar #57

Baron Zemo's Lair

Dynamic Donar #57
Saturday, 14-Aug-1999 06:44:15
198.142.186.61 writes:

Dynamic Donar #57

A light fog hung over the swamp near the mansion. Within it's eerie folds, sat a robed man, lost in thought. In the bushes behind him, something moved. Something large. It growled in a low metallic rumble. Several other bushes moved. These beasts surrounded the man, although he was apparently unaware of the fact.

The man's head tilted to the side. His blindfold prevented him from seeing any danger, so he relied on every other sense at his disposal. Three of the large hellish wolves attacked at once, in a whirlwind of spiked fur and gnashing metal teeth.

The man leapt over the first one's attack, nimbly producing what appeared to be a staff from his cloak.
He drove it down through the beast's skull upon landing, spinning on the staff to deflect the second hound's attack with both feet. It went flying into the third, exploding in a mass of charred metal. Another two hounds attacked the warrior from behind, only to be met with the staff flying towards them, knocking one to the ground. The second sank it's teeth into the man's shoulder, whilst clawing at his chest. It then howled in pain, as the staff returned to it's master, severing the hound's head from it's cybernetic body.

From the shadows, a figure strode forth, holding a palm-sized computer.

NTU: "Not bad…you shaved three seconds off your best so far, but one reached you. That's a bad thing."

The man removed his hood, then the blindfold. It was Donar (You surprised? Shame on you! )

Donar: "But the beast didst not e'en pierce mine hide…I clearly was the victor."
NTU: "Yeah, I know D, but you can't rely on your immortality and bulletproof skin to win every fight…"
Enty looked down at the severed wolf head with flattened teeth. "..Even if it did save you this time."

"I don't know, will he ever get the knack of a whole different style of battle?"

Gail came forth from the mist, arms folded. "Well son? You've done this twelve times now, and I've hate to say, but you're still relying on your hand to hand expertise. Even though you were tapped into the Earth-spirit for sight, you still didn't use it to it's full potential."

Donar looked sheepishly at his feet: "Aye Mum…sorry."
Gail: "Don't worry, I think your young friend here still has a few cyber-wolves left…don't you?"
Enty: "Eh…actually, I just used the last of them up. There's another one over there, but it's started to pick up a Mexican radio station and I can't stop it from doing the macarena."
Donar: "I would gladly end it's torment."
Enty: "Actually Donar I better get these things rewired and return 'em to Disneyworld…before they notice the "Wild West Adventure Steamboat" has a few bits of animitronic scenery missing.

Donar began the walk back to the mansion with his Mum.
Donar: "I just can't get it right, mother. Verily hath mine basest instinct been to smite mine opponents into dust, not to think and instigate subtle forces of Majick.I fear 'tis beyond mine grasp."
Gail: "The only thing you cant do is the thing you doubt you can…as a kid you were always under my feet calling up storms, and playing with lightning. You were quite the prodigy with summoning Earth Elementals too, if I recall…even if they were only a foot tall."

Donar smiled. He remembered little of his childhood before going on to be the Prince of Ausgard. But that he did remember was his Mother's continual guidance and sage-like wisdom. She was never one to bestow destiny upon him, as the Allfather did, she had more feminine wiles about her.

Donar: "Aye…I remember mother…But mine dabbling in Majicks as a toddler was almost instinctive…not the way for a Prince of the Golden Realm to wage war with his enemies. Sheer power is the only way to truly devastate an enemy, or so mine Father would show me."
Gail: "Yes, well that was your Father's way….what is yours?"
With that closing thought she smiled and turned towards the forest.

Donar continued inside, a little more confused than before.
spiffy: "Hey, what's up Greek Guy?"
Donar: "I am not sure, coat-rack…Mine mind is muddled muchly. Hast thou seen Lisa?"
spiffy: "Um…actually, no..not for a while…I think she's having computer problems again."
Donar: "Hmm….curiouser and curiouser.."

Meanwhilst, in the heart of Dr. Moo's secret Bovine Sanctoruim…

Moo: "Ha, fools…all of them, especially that guy with the horned helmet…I'll show them…the LL, Zemo, even that Hooded upstart. I am the true evil genius of this world and I will reign supreme."
Lisa: "Uh..I only asked if you wanted sugar in your coffee?"
Moo: "Oh, sorry…yes, two please…with milk.."
Lisa: "…naturally."
Moo: "So, yeah, sorry I had to kidnap you Lisa, but in order to be a supervillianess I have to strike terror into the hearts of the good guys, so absconding with their leader seemed the natural choice."
Lisa: "Oh that's OK..But is has been a week, you'd think they would've at least noticed my absence."
Moo: "Mmm…I was thinking that too…maybe I should've snared Jarvis, at least that way, Melissa would've noticed."
Lisa: "I think he's dead…anyway, I don't mind the rest, it's been nice to catch up…so, uh..what's your plan for domination, anyway?"
Moo: "Sorry sis, not falling for that…we BOTH watched Roger Ramjet before…and I'm not telling you the plan.."
Lisa: "Worth a shot….should I get back in my cell, or can we have cheesecake with the coffees?"
Moo: "…Hmm….Cheesecake….then the cell…"

And at that time, in the reception-type area of the lair…

RING RING…RING RING….

*click * "Hello, this is Troia, the LL's secretary..I'm currently off on stress leave…..again…..so if you could leave your name and number and type of emergency at the tone, that would be super…oh, and if you want to sue the LL for anything, they didn't do it…it was evil clones..BEEP!!"

Muffled Voice: "Uh…hello? I'm calling to tell the LL that if they don't surrender right now, their precious leader will be killed…I have her hostage, and I'm dead serious..Never again will you make fun of Dr Moo!!"

Yo: "DONAR! sPIFFY! NTU! HAT-PERSON! We are having a problem big!"

The LL'ers run down to the distraught Yo-being.
Enty: "What is it, Yo?"
Yo: " There was Moo Dr. message on machine of Troia that special leader Lisa person kidnapped was!"
Hatty: "Are you sure "Yo" isnt short for "Yoda"??"
Enty: "What you mean is, Moo has Lisa?"
Yo: "Yes being, of course do I!"
spiffy: " I'm confused."
Donar: "That is nothing new, small one."
Enty: "OK, we have a crisis here folks…Lisa's kidnapped, and I don't have time to build anything to save her. Any ideas?"
Donar: "Aye, A full frontal assault on Moo's secret lair! Many warriors shall surely die a brave death, and meet in Valhalen, but we shall remember them well!"
All but Donar: "…….."
Enty: " Any sane ideas?"
Hatty: "Well, if Donar would give me his helmet.."
Donar: "Be damned Hat-wearer…I had intended to give thee mine helmet eons ago, but thou didst spoil mine own surprise to thee by asking for it."
Hatty: "Really?..man…that sucks…"
Donar: "Well, I suppose it doth look rather strange to weareth an helmet under mine hood…"
Donar removes his sacred war-helmet and places it upon Hatty's head."
Donar: "Forget thee not, whilst this gift doth grant thee access to mine powers, the power you possess shall be unavailable to me…if you do leech mine strength, I shall be weakened.."
Hatty: "And if I doth verily begin to speaketh as thou wouldst?"
Donar " I get to talk like a normal guy would.."
Hatty: "Gotcha…thanks for the hat, man….verily."
Donar: "Aye…and now…."
Donar closes his eyes and tries to connect with the Earth-spirit..Upon access he begins to use the power to locate Mjalcom, his once-weapon, now tool of Lisa…to no avail.
Hatty: "Can't find it, huh?..man, that felt creepy."
Donar: "Thou didst sense mine search for Mjalcom?"
Hatty: "Aye..er..I mean yes."
spiffy: "This is too weird…call me when we decide to actually do something."
Enty: "Uh..Donar? Do you think It's wise to let Hatty have the helmet? I mean, that's a lot of power there…"
Hatty: "I think he's right, Donar…I'll keep it, but for emergencies only..otherwise .."
Donar: "I understand…I suppose we need someone to lead us to the leader then…Enty?"
Enty: "Nuh-Uh…My insurance is maxxed out as it is..I couldn't lead a scout troop without another million dollars coverage."
Hatty: "C'mon Donar..lead us.."
Donar: "Aye…Indeed I shall…"

1 hour later…

Donar has called all the LL'ers available for active duty..Visz, Hatty, spiffy, Foomy, Yo, even Asil, Fleabot and Wayopex have volunteered for active duty.

Donar: "I thank thee all for attending my summons..we hath an emergency at hand that requires guile, stealth and coordination to succeed…nonetheless, I shall lead thee, regardless. Any questions?"
Visz: "What's the mission?"
Donar : "We are to infiltrate Dr. Moo's Bovine Sanctorium, and retriend from twixt it's walls our beloved, and greatly missed leader, Lisa. Much propaganda about Lisa having computer problems has been strewn around by the ungulate villian, but we shall forge through the web of lies and emerge victorious."
Asil: "Why?"
Fleabot: "Shuttup, you idiot."
A small silver projectile speeds past Donar's left shoulder and embeds itself in the masonry.
Wayo: "OK, so, like, we hafta go like get her and stuff?"
Donar: "Aye, Wayo…it is a part of the Moderator's code as well..We have much at stake here..With Lisa gone, 'Dox is left all alone on the AMB. And whilst he is a most capable warrior, he is a powerful ally to keep. For all we know, Mash could be planning a revolution with Barry Fletcher as we speak.."
Wayo: "gasp"
Donar: "Alright, mine allies…tis time to show the evil Cow why we art called heroes…follow me!!!"

NEXT: THE ATTACK ON MOO CONTINUES!

( Kinda short for a 20th issue, but, y'know, I'm tired…)

DONAR