Baron Zemo's Lair. - Dynamic Donar 2000 Annual Part II: This is new. Readeth it posthaste.

Baron Zemo's Lair

Dynamic Donar 2000 Annual Part II: This is new. Readeth it posthaste.
Wednesday, 17-May-2000 04:38:14
198.142.186.236 writes:

Dynamic Donar 2000 annual, part II

Visz was excited. Really excited.
He, and a group of his best friends, were going away. On a plane. And he'd helped.

Not in the way he helped Cheryl by licking the beaters every time she made icing, or cookies or that one incident with the lead paint. ( in all honesty though, he'd learned from that…just like when he discovered that it's better to lick the beaters AFTER the thing was finished mixing.)

No, this time he'd helped in a grown up responsible way. And he was proud.

A little Hispanic looking woman in a tight fitting, but functional, blue dress greeted the band.

"Welcome aboard flight 388c! I'm your comfort engineer, Maria, and I'll be on hand throughout the flight to attend to any needs you may have. Food, drink, pillows, anything! Just press your buzzer and I'll be up in a flash to accommodate you. Can I see your boarding passes please?"

Donar, Yo, Enty, Tina, Lisa, and Cheryl handed up their passes, quite happy with the service Visz had managed to obtain. To be honest, they had pictured flying the whole way either strapped to a wing or cradling livestock.

"Oh." Maria muttered. "You're in discount economy class. Ugh. I almost touched you."
"Umm" Visz muttered brilliantly, while examining the offending tickets. "What does that mean?"
"That" The disgusted aeronautical comfort technician started "..Means you are all up the other end of the plane. Off you go. Before you give the important people discomfort. Shoo."

All looked at Visz

"Well, let's get this trip started shall we?" Visz said cheerily, fooling no one. They tried nonetheless to humour him, and set off behind their valiant leader.

After a fairly short walk, about 10 minutes in length, they came to some rather cramped seating. Well..not so cramped that Lisa minded being crushed by Donar's arm, but cosy. Yo and Lisa sat either side of Donar in the centre aisle. Cheryl and Visz had one window seat, while Enty and Tina had the other.

"Ooh. This are being like sleepover with all friends in one big bag of sleeping!" Yo yelled happily
"We can only hope." Lisa purred, drooling on the thunder-deity's biceps.

Enty sat and read the instruction manual on life preservation, and smiled at the picture of a vest that kept you alive. What a coincidence.
"You know" Tina whispered to her little armoured amore "We're so far back on this thing that even if we do fly into a mountain, we probably won't know we've crashed for 10 minutes or so."
"Crash?" Donar uttered. "Whom didst sayeth we couldst crash?"
All looked at Donar. He looked a little more pale than usual.

"Um..don't tell me that Mr Impervious-to-nuclear-weaponry is scared of flying.."
"Nay" Donar scowled defiantly. "I fly as often as I doth walketh…but ne'er hath I done so whilst cocooned within a steel cavern of doom."

"Good grief." Cheryl uttered.

The plane began its long taxi down the runway. Enty was already asleep. Tina had decided to read the manual regarding safety precautions in the case of a hazard. In this business, being within 20 feet of Enty and a large amount of aviation fuel was a hazard waiting to happen. Lisa took advantage of Donar's current state by resting his head on her lap as he sucked on his thumb. Cheryl consoled her husband on the seating arrangements…at least they were on a plane, and not a fruit truck.

The take off itself was relatively uneventful. That's if prying Donar's fingers from his armrest is a daily occurrence. It was decided for the duration of the flight they should probably keep him occupied, and not let him remember he was on a plane.

He had downed about 30 tiny bourbons to no real effect. Well, they did have the effect of lightening his wallet, but besides that nothing. Yo stacked the empty plastic cups in a little castle on his fold down tray.
"Mine Gods" Donar remarked, cradling the tiny cup between his mighty fingers. "This art akin to getting pissed in Lilliput."
Lisa: "Um…Do? Can I ask you something?"
Donar: "Aye milady, anything canst be asked by thee, I shalt willingly oblige.."
Donar stopped speaking and realised his possible fatal faux pas.
Lisa: "You know how you've been buying drinks, right?…What exactly does a God keep in his wallet?"
Donar breathed a sigh of relief…the Mile High Club was denied two more members.
He fished into his pocket and retrieved the object in question. Lisa took a look. It was heavy. Very heavy. "May I?" She asked as she opened it with surprise. There was a cornucopia of credit cards. Ausgardian Express. Donars Club. Vaesir. Mjaster Card. And wads of cash. Most of it had runes and faces etched into it, but there was at least $10, 000 in American bills.
"Um….Do?"
"Aye?"
"When did you become incredibly rich?"
"Rich? Milady wealth can ne'er be measured by what a man can stuffeth in his pocket or possessions he can adorn his home with. True wealth art in a man's heart, and the hearts of those around him. In that case, I wouldst sayeth I was rich the moment I met thee all."
"That was beautiful, Donar…but where's the money coming from?"
"Oh. I'm royalty. We art loaded."
"Good to know"
"But with great financial wealth dost come great responsibility."
"How do you mean?"
"Well, thou knowest what they sayeth.."Donar smirked… "God saves"

"That" Visionary objected "Was a pun. You know puns are forbidden around me…"
"Sorry Visz" Lisa and Donar chorused.
"Oooh!" Cheryl exclaimed. "We get an in flight movie after all! Honey, you're the best!"
"I am? Oh. Yes..I Am! What movie is there?"
Cheryl thumbed through the guide.
"It says here we get Gladiator. Wow. New release and all."
"Pfft" Lisa mumbled. "Crowe aint a shadow on Mel."
"Um…Cheryl?" Tina pointed out "I hate to mention it, but that's First class…. Our movie is the second page, under the ad for pile cream."
Cheryl flipped another page."Oh". Her face betrayed her sense of loss. "It's Police Academy IV."
"C'mon, baby!" Enty awoke and sat up tapping the plane's window. "Hit a mountain for Daddy."

The torture had not yet begun. They were subjected to bad sound effects, tired jokes and lame, predictable plot lines. Then they were subjected to the movie. It was a Hell they'd rather not be reminded of, and thanks to Lisa's restraining order, won't ever have to. The memory of that 4 hours ( the projector froze during the end credits, and company policy is to restart the film if that occurs ) has been legally restricted from the LL's minds. If it does make itself remembered, it will incur all therapy costs and be responsible for Donar tearing Steve Gutenburg into eleven pieces…not that that's a bad thing.

Finally there was light at the end of the tunnel. They felt the plane making it's descent towards the foreign airport.
"Woohoo! Tahiti, here we come!" Cheryl jubilated
"Yo am too also happy to being be in Tahiti!" Yo yelled excitedly, becoming Yo-Woman in order to wear the new bathers she had bought.
"Uh" Visz looked at his ticket with a slight tinge of concern.
"What is it honey?" Cheryl asked.
"Oh..probably nothing, never mind." He prayed.

The planes wheels made contact. Donar ripped off his armrests and clenched his teeth. As the plane taxied to a halt. Those with window seats took a look at their place of vacation.
"Do you think the others will mind that we're taking a vacation to Tahiti without telling them?"
"Nay" Said the Oldmansen, elated that Valhalen's embrace had been denied him for another day. "They wouldst not truly enjoy them selves here verily for the nonce. Finny wouldst most likely have a coma o'erwhelm him if he didst spy the ladies on the nude beach, Dark Knight wouldst find himself devoid of shadows, save those under a palm tree and spiffy's fern wouldst surely die in this Tropical climate."
A rather weedy man came up to escort the LL from the plane.
"Bonjour, welcome to our tres bon country. We 'ope you enjoy your stay."
"Wow." Enty remarked as they made their way across the tarmac, strangely enough WITH their luggage. "I had no idea people spoke French in Tahiti!"
"Eh..non monsiour. We do not speak Francais in Tahiti."
"But you ARE speaking French." Tina reasoned."
"Oui. Vous are in Haiti."

Held his head as he felt accusing stares overwhelm him. "Damn."

Donar, dedicating it to Visz and Lisa...It's written..let me rest!!