3(2) Short Stories about Mr. Epitome - Tales of the Parodyverse

3(2) Short Stories about Mr. Epitome

Post By

killer shrike
Sun Dec 07, 2003 at 11:30:42 pm EST

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3(2) Short Stories about Mr. Epitome

Story Two: “From the Archives of Heroes Online 11/15/03”

Thad087- OK, folks, our guest is here. Thank you Glory, for visiting and agreeing to take questions.

Glory- You’re welcome.

Thad087- This isn’t your first Internet chat, is it?

Glory- No. I’m online often. I enjoy the camaraderie, and sometimes the anonymity.

Thad087- Let’s get to some questions.

Caitlin190- Glory. Big fan of you and your master. Any chance of Mr. Epitome coming to talk to us?

Glory- Probably not. My partner is very busy. There are weeks where he doesn’t even get a chance to sleep. Sorry.

SweetSassyMoses- Hi, Glory. Can you talk to other animals?

Glory- No. I have an inherent understanding of the canine language, of course, and can get my point across to dogs better than humans are able to. But I can’t hold conversations with them like I can with you.

Thad087- So there’s no chance of a HoundDog/Glory romance?

Glory- Eww. No.

HeroFan7015- A follow up question on Thad’s: do you have any superhero friends? Your partner seems to have problems with the Lair Legion.

Glory- Mr. Epitome’s relationship with the Lair Legion has been distorted. He considers them to be remarkably brave and capable allies. I agree. As for friends, I talk to Yo weekly. And I think CrazySugarFreakBoy! is very funny.

SantaAnna’sMissingLeg- Glory, what would you do to make the world a better place?

Glory- I think we have to start here in America. We are a country with more freedom and opportunity than anywhere in the world, and we waste it. The United States should be a model for others to follow, yet most of us are disengaged from even the most fundamental concepts of citizenship. When I think of how few Americans even vote, I get embarrassed for our culture. I wish I could vote.

GeorgiaPeach18- This is kind of a personal question, but who cleans up after you?

Glory- Nobody. My digestive system breaks down and uses anything I eat. No pooper scooper for me.

BalefireRules- Does Glory have an archenemy? Does she want one?

Glory- There is this disreputable ginger cat that needs to be taught a lesson….

Thomas117- Do you get paid for working for OPS?

Glory- Yes. My salary is a matter of public record. I even have a credit card.

LookMaNoHands- I’m a big admirer of yours, Glory. You’re so brave. Do you ever get scared?

Glory- Thank you. Yes, I get scared. Villains like Factor X and the Hooded Hood are frightening, because they have all this power and desire, and they don’t care who they hurt to get what they want. In the end, though, when I think about the good people, and not just the superheroes, who line up to oppose these monsters, I realize they are the ones who should be scared.

Thad087- Well said. I know our time is almost up. So, we’ll let you go.

Glory- This was fun. We’ll have to schedule more of these.

Thad087- Sounds great. Goodbye, Glory.

Glory- ‘Bye.

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Follow-Ups:

Glory solo issue??, definitely I will read it after the holidays! (no text) - Yo likes epitome too, but less ;) - Wed Dec 10, 2003 at 11:02:37 am EST

I understand completely. Cute dogs are much more likable that characters based on Oliver North. (no text) - killer shrike - Wed Dec 10, 2003 at 12:41:27 pm EST

I read it and liked it but can't think of a snappy reply as I know nothing about Glory :) - Hatman - Wed Dec 10, 2003 at 10:28:43 am EST

Thank you. (no text) - killer shrike - Wed Dec 10, 2003 at 12:36:01 pm EST

Hmm. *REALLY considers throwing in on the Glory-for-LL-membership vote. We can't have enough Glory! I guess we could always develop our own Lair Legion of Super Pets ··· (no text) - ag - Wed Dec 10, 2003 at 07:47:03 am EST

Pets?! Hmph. (no text) - Glory - Wed Dec 10, 2003 at 08:11:39 am EST

I have a pet chupacabra. It doesn't like being called a pet, either. Of course, it also doesn't like human beings, and has to ··· (no text) - CrazySugarFreakBoy! - Thu Dec 11, 2003 at 01:57:31 am EST

And it goes through goats like they don't cost a thing! - Nats - Thu Dec 11, 2003 at 06:45:35 pm EST

It's already been done. Link within. - HH - Wed Dec 10, 2003 at 11:16:03 am EST

I missed that one! The Society of Super Pets WILL return.. oh yes. Mark my words! (no text) - ag - Wed Dec 10, 2003 at 10:47:24 pm EST
Heh. This story just proves the old show biz saw about not working with animals or children (no text) - killer shrike - Wed Dec 10, 2003 at 12:33:54 pm EST
Her old stories are still good, and I still won't even make an exception for this one. (no text) - Visionary - Wed Dec 10, 2003 at 11:38:00 am EST
Glory for president! (no text) - Nats - Mon Dec 08, 2003 at 08:51:34 pm EST
- Maybe in '08. She'll be old enough then (no text) - killer shrike - Wed Dec 10, 2003 at 08:09:30 am EST
- I don't think she's old enough. (no text) - Visionary - Tue Dec 09, 2003 at 12:15:16 pm EST
  - Maybe in dog years. (no text) - Nats - Tue Dec 09, 2003 at 06:23:05 pm EST
Yes, those of us who are superanimals are taking over...*nt* - Finny - Mon Dec 08, 2003 at 01:22:11 pm EST
- But aren't we all superanimals, when you get right down to it? :) - killer shrike - Wed Dec 10, 2003 at 08:07:54 am EST
Such a good pup. And a much more classy chat than I tend to get... No SexyOlivia8928's involved. (no text) - Visionary - Mon Dec 08, 2003 at 11:08:31 am EST
- Yes. Everyone kept their clothes on and everything. Except for Glory, but dressing up dogs is wrong. (no text) - killer shrike - Wed Dec 10, 2003 at 08:06:53 am EST
Glory should just be thankful she didn't get one of Dancer's QUESTIONS. (no text) - HH - Mon Dec 08, 2003 at 06:57:28 am EST
- Those do sound a little rough. (no text) - killer shrike - Wed Dec 10, 2003 at 08:05:22 am EST
Very innovative... - anonymous - Mon Dec 08, 2003 at 12:31:03 am EST
- Thanks. (no text) - killer shrike - Wed Dec 10, 2003 at 08:04:14 am EST
Since Mr. Epitome can't (and probably shouldn't) join the Lair Legion, I will echo what has been said before - Glory must become a member of the team. :) (no text) - CrazySugarFreakBoy! - Mon Dec 08, 2003 at 12:21:14 am EST
- Sure. Take Epitome's dog away. That'll improve his mood. ;) (no text) - killer shrike - Wed Dec 10, 2003 at 08:03:19 am EST