205.200.28.44 writes:
"Troia, get the rest of the Legion here, now!" called NTU-150. The armored Legionnaire fired his repulsors at the man, if he indeed was a man, before him. He crashed through the wall, and his parter followed suit as NTU fired once again.
NTU and Lisa quickly followed as the two regained their feet outside the mansion. Behind them a group of superbeings approached. NTU-150's armor computers targetted the armored one and the one with the glowing fists even as he spoke.
"Who are you? What do you want?" he demanded, amplifiers in his armor boosting the bass tone of his voice, making it sound deeper, more dangerous.
"We, my rusted-out friend, are your superiors. We are the Headless Horde!" declared the one in the armor. "You don't stand a chance against us. We have your powers, only amplified to a higher degree. You may as well give up now."
"I'd suggest you give up now. You don't want us to get rough," said another of the group. Even in the open space of the Lair Island he seemed to be cloaked in shadow.
"Rough? Verily, that be music to mine ears!" declared Donar as he charged through the hole in the wall. Goldeneyed, Fin Fang Foom, CrazySugarFreakBoy!, Yo, and DarkHwk followed, as the two groups squared off.
"Please. You think you can defeat LMD-051, Goldenfisted, DarkEgle, CrazySucroseHeadlessBoy!, Fing Fan Fwoosh, Dark Horseman, Ya, Bjornar, and the Waltz?" answered the Waltz.
"No, we don't think that. We know it!" shouted Goldeneyed.
"Enough of this. Headless Horde, attack!" shouted LMD-051.
"Lair Legion, art thou ready to rumble? For the Oldmanson doth hear the siren call of battle. And verily, he shalt answer anon!" declared Donar as Mjalcom propelled him at his double. Mjalcom contacted with Bjornar's own version of the weapon.
"Verily, the power of Mjalner shalt smite thee most readily!" shouted Bjornar. He and Donar proceeded to trade blows with their fists and pick axes.
"Nay! Thine strength is incredible! Thou beist stronger than the Yurt on steroids!" cried the amazed hemigod. Donar hurled Mjalcom at Bjornar's head...or where it would be. Mjalcom flew above Bjornar's shoulders, and continued on. "That beith cheating!"
"Yo am thinking you are being looking funny with no head," commented the thought being as he and his double hovered overhead. "I am also thinking I am being more than a match for you."
"I am thinking the same," replied Ya. The two thought beings engaged in a mental tug-of-war as each tried to become more powerful than the other.
"Goldenfisted, eh? What kind of play on my name is that?" called Goldneyed as he swung at his double. Goldenfisted teleported out of the way, then reappeared behind G-eyed.
"Well, I don't have eyes, do I genius? Kinda comes in handy; I can't get blinded like this!" G-fisted teleported a spotlight to his hands and flashed it in G-eyed's eyes. Goldeneyed staggered back as he was temporarily blinded.
"This is getting kind of boring. Whatsay we up the ante a little bit. Meet me at the Nexus...if you dare!" With that, Goldenfisted teleported away. G-eyed stood there shocked. He knew where the Nexus was and what it was, but he had never been there. It was obviously a trap. Goldeneyed sighed, then teleported after him. It was going to be a long day.
CSFB! bounded after his adversary, merrily chasing him. "Man, this is so much fun! I mean, we're battling versions of ourselves with powers supposedly stronger than our own! I can't wait until we do the usual switcheroo trick. Who should I duke it out with? That Lisa-clone's kinda cute. If only she had a head. Oh well, I'm sure I'll end up with someone cool! Hey CSHB!, wait up! We haven't exchanged quips yet!"
"Are you serious? I'm nowhere near my top speed. Must be because my suit was designed by John Byrne. He has such a sense of style; did you see that redesign he did on Electro? Sheer brilliance!" crowed CrazySucroseHeadlessBoy!.
"You...you're evil! Byrne has tried to destroy Spider-Man countless times! How could you even associate with him? Now you're in for it! Nobody praises Byrne and gets away with it!" declared CSFB!.
"You're welcome to try, but I seriously doubt you can hurt me. This suit, composed of Unpossibilityium, has a few properties that yours doesn't. Such as this!" A tendril of unpossibilityium shot back at CSFB!, slamming into his chin.
"Ooh, it's just like a symbiote! One time Venom was battling both Spider-Man and the Human Torch, and he used a symbiote tendril to try and drown the Torch! Or when Carnage really lets loose with those suckers...hoo-boy!" Then another tendril slapped over CSFB!'s mouth, as it began to bind his arms and legs as well.
DarkHwk and DarkEgle were engaged in an aerial battle that would put any Blue Angels show to shame. DarkHwk fired another blast of energy from his amulet at his foe, only to find it dispersed by the energies of one of his double's amulets.
"You can't win, DarkHwk. While you have one amulet, I have two!" crowed DarkEgle. He fired a blast of energy from the amulet's mounted on his wrists, but they were deflected by a shield generated by Zane.
"Is that so? Well, you may have two amulets, but I'll put my money on the genuine one every time!" DarkHwk encased DarkEgle in an energy bubble. DarkEgle poured energy into it, and if Zane weren't in an android body sweat would pour down his brow. The field shattered as DarkEgle fired more energy at it.
Fin Fang Foom traded blows with Fing Fan Fwoosh. Foom found his double was stronger than he was. However, that didn't mean he was smarter.
Foom transformed his arm into a mallet as he slammed it into Fwoosh's stomach. The copy managed to shift his torso into a jelly substance, and Foom found he couldn't extract his arm. Fing Fan Fwoosh began to hammer at Foom before the Makulan could react.
Finny desperately grew another arm to counter the attacks. He had to get free! A thrash from his tail forced Fwoosh to break his concentration and release Finny's arm. The Makulan then transformed into a giant snake and wrapped himself around Fwoosh. He began to squeeze.
Fwoosh countered by sprouting spikes all over his body. Foom howled in pain as they penetrated his scaley hide. He relinquished his hold on his adversary. Finny desperately spit fire at the clone, which was easily avoided by the other.
"You may as well give up, Foom. You can't hope to beat me," snarled Fing Fan Fwoosh. Finny was worried he was right. Still, he wouldn't quit. He blew another fire blast at Fwoosh.
Lisa was locked in combat with the Waltz. The two were evenly matched in skill, but the clone was the greater in strength. And the fact that Lisa couldn't strike at the head didn't help either. She found it disconcerting to be battling a headless copy of herself.
The Waltz kicked at Lisa's head, but she ducked out of the way. She countered with a punch to the kidneys, which was blocked by her double. Then the Waltz landed a punch to Lisa's stomach. Lisa fell to the ground, and slowly started to rise to her feet.
Her double moved in with a flying kick. Lisa fell back on instinct, and cried out. "I summons Donar!"
At almost the same time, the Waltz shouted out, "I summons Bjornar!" The two Ausgardians appeared in front of their respective summoners. Donar, having been party to this stratagem of Lisa's before, braced himself for an impact. He expected something harmful to Lisa yet unable to compete with his invulnerability to strike.
Instead Bjornar got a clean shot in on the Oldmanson. Donar staggered back, dazed. Then he was hit again and again. Donar went down under a hail of blows, before he lost consciousness. Lisa looked on in shock.
"We know your tricks, Lisa. We have all your memories, all your strategies. It was easy to lure you into setting up your own ally!" gloated the Waltz. Lisa knew she was in trouble. The most powerful Legionnaire was down, leaving Lisa to take on two of their foes.
A repulsor blast staggered Bjornar, as NTU flew in to assist Lisa. Unfortunately, his foe followed close behind. A blast of his own took Lisa down, as the Waltz moved in to place restraints on her and Donar.
NTU slugged LMD-051 in the chestplate, and ducked an attack from Bjornar. He kicked the Donar-clone in the stomach as he fired a blast at the Waltz. She ducked out of the way, and LMD-051 moved in and fired a repulsor. NTU staggered back, red lights going off inside his armor. He was barely standing. But he had to protect his friends!
From out of nowhere the Waltz was knocked unconscious. Bjornar turned back to see a dark shadow standing over her. The Dark Knight, having hid in the shadows, calmly stepped over her. He heaved Mjalner at the Knight.
Before it could contact, the Knight was taken out at the knees. The Dark Horseman moved in and with DK-like efficiency bound him with a nylon cord. A clear shot to the head robbed the Knight of consciousness.
Bjornar layed into NTU as LMD-051 held him. NTU tried to fight back, but found he couldn't. His armor was too damaged. As his systems went off-line, NTU prayed that he would see Tina again.
"Now, let's get the shapeshifter!" commanded LMD-051. The Waltz began to regain her feet. The Knight hadn't taken into account that she was also more durable than Lisa.
"No need!" bellowed Fing Fan Fwoosh as he approached his allies with a small Fin Fang Foom over his shoulder. Beside him DarkEgle carried DarkHwk. They threw the heroes to the ground in front of them.
"So that only leaves CrazySugarFreakBoy! and the Yo-being. Bjornar, Fwoosh, see to the thought being. DarkEgle and I will handle CrazySugarFreakBoy!," said LMD-051.
"No you won't. I already did," called out CSHB! as he threw CSFB! onto the pile of heroes. "Now then, the Yo-being."
Yo found himself surrounded by Bjornar, Ya, and Fing Fan Fwoosh. Before Yo went down under a hail of fists, he managed to transmit a brief mental message to a certain Capped Crusader.
"Very good, Horde," came a voice from LMD's armor. It was the voice of HeadCase. "Bring the Legion to me. But leave something behind for Hatman to find. And leave behind that obligatory clue to lead him to us. I am soooo looking forward to our rematch!"
As the Headless Horde flew away, a lone pick axe sat next to a cape and utility belt. Along with a note.
NEXT: HeadCase has the Legion in his clutches. Can Hatman resuce them? How can he hope to defeat the team that defeated the entire Legion? Will Hatty actually appear in the next issue? And what is the Nexus? Stay tuned! Same Hat-time, same Hat-channel!
Hatman