Posted by The Hooded Hood replies on November 11, 2000 at 16:46:03:
In Reply to: As far as I know, this is ... The First-Ever CrazySugarFreakPoll!!! Please Respond!!! Just as with everything else, in the world, your vote definitely does count here. ;) posted by CrazySugarFreakBoy! on November 11, 2000 at 13:21:25:
“Good evening,” the Hooded Hood bade Meggan Foxxx and Dan Drury. “Oh, please don’t stop on my account. I am only here to answer the CrazySugarFreakNuisance’s questionnaire.” “Hoody!” CrazySugarFreakBoy! enthused as the cowled crime-czar loomed over him. “Hold on a minute and I’ll get in costume so we can battle properly. It’s no problem cause my silly suit and geek gear are all hidden in my wired watch, so it’ll only…”
“All my audiences for this kinda thing pay, honey!” Meggan snarled at the cowled crime czar across the bedroom as Drury rolled off her and reached for his sidearm.
“It’s getting’ to be something when a guy can’t have a few quiet moments with his girl without some chicken-smoochin’ slime-garglin’ supervillain walking through the wall,” the Director of SPUD complained as he discovered that, thanks to the Hood’s retconning abilities, he had accidentally packed a banana instead of a high-tech laser-cannon.
“Ah, I believe Dreamcatcher is in the lounge watching some animated feature concerning robots which transform into marketing ploys,” the Hood observed. “Excuse me.”
“Well, the cheek of that man!” Meggan complained as the archvillain stalked away. “Still, seems a shame t’put that banana to waste…”
“Please don’t feel you need to dress like a cretin on my account,” the Hood told him. “I have simply come to answer this questionnaire you distributed.” He held up the appropriate document.
“Oh, okay,” CSFB! relaxed, sprawling back on the couch and pausing the VCR. “So what d’ya think, then?”
The Hood regarded question one:
1) Which CrazySugarSupportingCast! member is your favorite?
“Well,” the cowled crime-czar considered, “although she is insignificant street trash I would have to name your mother, Melanie Hastings, since it is she who has undoubtedly contributed most to your current status quo and forms a significant portion of what makes you an adversary worthy of destruction.”
“Hey, my mom’s not…”
“You see? The merest hint of a threat to her and you are reacting in an interesting way. Yes, I would undoubtedly have to say your unique and eccentric mother. It is unusual for superheroes to have mothers, or at least to admit to them.”
Having answered question two in his discourse, the Hooded Hood went on to regard question three.
3) Which CrazySugarSuperVillain! is your favorite?
The cowled crime-czar looked up from the questionnaire. “I am deeply hurt not to be included in here,” the Hood noted. “After all, I reunited you with your dead girlfriend not once but twice to allow you appropriate closure and psychological torment, condemned you to hell, and arranged for your final confrontation with the Faceless Nemesis, the Death of Tricksters.”
“I was sort of counting you as a villain to all the LL,” CSFB! explained, “and anyway, you’re my bestest pal, except maybe Hat or Izzy or mom, but certainly my bestest pal who tries to conquer… What did you say about a Faceless Nemesis? I’ve never had a final confrontation with anyone like that.”
“Yet,” the Hood smiled thinly. “Very well then, since I cannot vote for myself, I shall say only this: the best villain is the one you don’t even know is plotting against you. You may not understand my words now, but you will one day. And then it may be too late. He is your finest foe.”
“Gee, most people said Argh!Yle, Evillest of Socks,” mused Dream.
“As for the rest of your villains, PsychoAcidPervGirl! is undoubtedly the most compelling, although you have yet to have an encounter which fully exploits the tensions of the situation, and which also explores the role of your father and mother in this tangled skein. I may have to arrange that if you don’t. The Ass-Raping Ninjas are an important humorous motif but will require much work before they are a creditable threat. And your rogues gallery lacks a vicious stone-cold killer whose moral void contrasts with your own pro-life stance and who can exploit your compassion and other weaknesses in a purely professional way to achieve their ends.”
“Um… okay.”
5) What sorts of stories would you like to see CSFB! involved in? Give as much detail as you like.
“The Goofball Gauntlet’s foray against the ninjas under the tutelage of your mother and Dr Phobia requires resolution,” the Hood noted. “The team still remains a set of refurbished concepts rather than actual characters with the notable exception of Ms van Horn. Likewise, a story focussing on Dr Phobia would help to clarify his shamanistic totem role in your self-proclaimed pantheon,” the Hooded Hood opined.
“I’ll see what I can do,” CSFB! promised. “It’s a bit tough what with all the unfinished business the Legion’s into right now, but I guess if Supes and Spidey can do four or five things at once I can too.”
“Thereafter, I am anticipating your encounters with your archenemy, the one I referred to earlier, and with Pelopia the Priestess of Order. Eventually I expect to be amused by your fathering of your daughter Iris, and your decent into Hell in the Resolution War. But those things are a little way off yet.”
“You., er, you can go on to the next question if you like,” Dreamcatcher offered. “Really.”
6) How do you feel about Mr. Book, CSFB's! boss? Like him, don't like him, what? And why? Want to see more of him, or not?
“I think he is a most interesting person,” the Hood answered. “He is flawed, of course, and those failings will lead to his destruction. However, he remains one of the less useless players in the great game. His eventual destruction will be a considerable intellectual challenge”
“You versus Book?” CrazySugarFreakBoy! wondered. “That’d be a match worth getting tickets for.”
“I never said his destruction would be my challenge,” the Hood replied with a sinister smirk.
7) How would you feel about Lesbian Liberator getting involved in a romantic relationship
The Hood shrugged. “I am somewhat indifferent,” he admitted. “If there was some greater plot behind the events, some purpose that the narrative led to, then it might be acceptable. However, the establishment of such a relationship simply as a natural consequence of her sexuality is no more important than the possibility of introducing a romance interest for, say, Tubby Tachyon – perhaps less so given that Ulysses Lugman’s physical disabilities would lend a certain uniqueness to any romance he was involved in. However, there are other members of your ‘supporting cast’ that I believe need more attention for the nonce.”
“So you can’t think of anybody Kat could hook up with?” Dream asked.
“Without some hero or their minion unexpectedly discovering a new aspect to their sexuality, I believe you would be limited to introducing Ms van Horn to either VelcroVixen or your own mother,” the Hood replied. “I could not recommend the former, and leave the latter to your judgement.”
8) Who do you see that the MOST important supporting characters in CSFB's! world - name however many you like, so long as you keep in mind that I'm asking for those whom you consider his "inner circle", however you choose to interpret that.
“Your mother occupies a central place in your life,” the Hood acknowledged. “After her there is that annoying ghost-waif it has taken me some time to comprehend. PsychoAcidPervGirl! has the potential to be the third aspect of the Fates which surround you. Interesting that all of these figures are female, is it not?”
9) Are there any characters that you feel I'm neglecting or overlooking, that I should be spending more time on? Again, give reasons. “Phobia and Louis Laughing Fox still require more research,” the archvillain mused. “Both require linear expositions of their history, firmly establishing their backstory to assist in their further use. There are a welter of other ‘heroes’ you have interacted but peripherally with also – Messenger, Dancer, Dark Knight, spiffy, Lisa, Xander, and others who have very different characters, methods, and motives to your own. And for all your identification of Space Ghost within your imagined comic-book parallels you have yet to realise this relationship in actual events.” 10) Any characters that you just wish would go away? State your reasons why. “Rape Ape is a one-joke character,” the Hooded Hood answered. 11) Any other questions I should be asking here? Anything you want to share on this subject, that I've left out? “Only that the major part of your motif which you have not fully addressed yet is the War of the Tricksters,” the Hooded Hood answered. “But that will come. Now I must leave you to wallow in your self-analysis, in the hopes that you might yet become the adversary I expect to face at the time of your destruction. Farewell.”
“Good point,” CSFB! admitted. “I’d better try and find where Spacey is just now and drag him into something absurd.”
“See you, Hoody!” CSFB! called out as the cowled crime czar vanished. “Boy, he is the nicest enemy, coming to help me out like that.” And he returned to the Transformers.