An Icy Welcome

Previously:
Icy by Jack; Stick Shift by Hatman



    “Um daddy,” ventured Magweed, peering round the edge of the door to the Lair Office where Visionary was staring vacantly at a pile of Junior Lair Legion application folders. “You know how it’s a well-known fact that griffins are expert at tunnelling through snow…?”

    Vizh’s coffee mug froze half way to his lips. “What?”

    “Sure. Everyone knows that. So if somebody who was really a griffin but was somehow trapped in the form of an eleven year old boy happened to, say, build a tunnel in the snow and then it kind of collapsed on him…”

    Visionary didn’t wait for the rest of the question. He rushed outside to see what was going on.

    Magweed turned to Samantha Featherstone, the girl lurking in the shadows behind her. “How was that?”

    “Very convincing,” approved Sir Mumphrey Wilton’s grand-daughter. “It’s not as if you lied. It was a hypothetical question.”

    “Griffin wouldn’t be in any danger in the snow today anyhow,” Magweed noted earnestly. “Icy would keep him safe. Icy has a good heart.”

    Samantha was already in the Lair Office checking through Icy’s security file and the sensor readings the Legion had taken on the animated snowman while he’d been at the Lair Mansion today. “According to this Icy hasn’t got a heart at all. He’s pure snow all the way through.”

    “I can read hearts,” Magweed insisted. “It was a present from one of my godmothers. I know what people are really like. Icy’s got a heart. It might not be all… meaty and stuff, but it’s big and warm. Not warm to melt Icy. Just warm. Good.”

    Samantha continued speed-reading. “Okay, according to this he’s exactly what he seems to be. Not a Skunk shapeshifter or a Hero Feeder or a rogue elemental or a dark faerie. Not even a mutate supervillain. He’s a snowman. His coal and carrot are part of him.”

    Magweed had already reached this conclusion hours ago, but she knew Sam liked to be methodical. She had to work things through to her own satisfaction. “Daddy and Hatty and the others wouldn’t have invited him to play with us if he was dangerous,” she pointed out. “That analysis stuff is just because Al B. Harper is hiding from Miss Framlicker again.”

    “Could be,” admitted Sam, still flicking through pages. “According to this nobody had heard of Icy until just a few weeks ago.”

    “He’s new in town,” Magweed answered. “He’s come to the Big Banana to make his fortune.”

    “By making a career as a jobbing snowman?” Samantha asked. “That’s a bit seasonal. According to this Icy could survive even when the weather turns hot, because he’s manipulating temperature around himself to generate cold weather. He could probably do all kinds of stuff with snow and ice, freeze things, rebuild himself…”

    “Samantha, he’s not a superhero. He’s a snowman. A good one. Why can’t he just be a snowman who stays to play with us?”

    “You want Icy to stay and play with us?” Sam asked thoughtfully. “Okay. Griffin!”

    Magweed’s brother phased through the wall and became visible, shaking a mound of snow off his anorak. “Yep?”

    “You remember how your Aunt Kerry showed you how to forge your father’s signature? Just put his name here, will you, on the bottom of this file.”

    Griffin obliged. “I’d better get back out there,” he suggested. “I think they’re about to get Glory to sniff the snow-pack for me.”

    “Phase deep,” Magweed advised him.

    “And if they ask why you didn’t go intangible and get out, just tell them you weren’t sure which way was up,” Samantha coached him.

    “So how do we get to keep Icy?” Mags asked as Samantha left the Lair Office.

    “Is Hatty still fixing that jeep we messed up?” Sam checked.

    “I think so.”

    “Great,” smiled the English girl. “In that case…” She slipped into Hatman’s office, found his in-tray and located the file she was looking for. “I knew Hallie was putting this together for Mr Boaz.” She slotted Icy’s dossier at the top of the pile, next to Vizh’s statement of nomination.

    “Now Icy gets to stay and play with us?” Magweed checked.

    “If we play this right,” answered Samantha with a little smirk. She placed the Candidates for New Legion Membership file back where she’d found it, and the girls crept away.


Original concepts, characters, and situations copyright © 2007 reserved by Ian Watson. Other Parodyverse characters copyright © 2007 to their creators. The use of characters and situations reminiscent of other popular works do not constitute a challenge to the copyrights or trademarks of those works. The right of Ian Watson to be identified as the author of this work has been asserted by him in accordance with the UK Copyright, Designs & Patents Act 1988. All rights reserved.




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The Hooded Hood doesn't see why Rhiannon shouldn't get two stories, and the Pv shouldn't get a new complication

Fri Jan 18, 2008 at
10:27:11 pm EST
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