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This message JBH #6, Technowar 2! was posted by ag says read it! It's fun! It continues where two difrent stories left off! And it's not so bad on the eyes! on Wednesday, April 17, 2002 at 01:51.
Technopolis, a gleaming city of the future. It doesn't belong here in the Parodyverse, but thanks to the schemes of the Red Watchman it is.
This has brought pain to all the heroes of the Earth in one way or the other.*
Among those heroes are these two.
Amazing Guy and Falcon.
Usually they don't work together. Falcon is busy with SPUD**and his new team. AG has been busy with his duties as Protector of the Universe and helping out with the JBH.
Right now isn't a great time to catch up though, as both are wearing power neutralizing collars and chains. They ride in silence as the strange hovercraft takes them and their Science Hero guards back to the containment cells.
They just got finished watching the cause of this mess, a man who seems to be very much like a mix of Lex Luthor and the Joker, only much worse. The Red Watchman tortured a man right in front of them and there was nothing they could do about it.
Now they just stand there on the flying hovercraft. Completely silent.
Neither man see’s the figure in the shadows below hefting the heavy metal door. He lifts it with ease and throws it at the hovercraft with precision. It twirls at the craft and with a small explosion it smashes into the bottom.
Sparks fly as the men on the craft try to keep their balance and save the ship. None of them have flight or force field powers so the three guards are in it deep.
“Let’s jump for it!” Falcon calls to AG.
They do, and soon are tumbling towards the pavement. They don’t even see the trench coated figure as he runs as fast as a locomotive. The sounds of gears chugging can be heard as the figure grabs each man from the air with a giant leap. He holds them under his arms as he runs into an empty ally.
The sun glints off his metal hide. AG and Falcon stare in wonderment.
The metal savior removes his trench coat and reveals that he is entirely made of metal. A fake man.
Batch o’ notes #1
*
**Super-menace Principal Undercover Directorate, a super spy organization.
JBH #6, Technowar 2!
“Who?” AG asks.
“I am called Fakeman. We have never met, but I used to be a hero back in World War Two.***
I’ve been retired since then, wandering the globe for decades. There was one time when a criminal used me for his ends, but since then I continued to explore the world.”****
Fakeman breaks the heroes shackles while continuing, “I guess since my robot body can live forever, keeping my human brain going for centuries, I would’ve stayed like this, if not for a portal I stumbled upon.
It brought me to Technopolis. A whole new world to discover! So amazing! So incredible! It was amazing! But fate had other plans and soon I found my self, and this city, getting shifted back home.”
“I take it you’re not a fan of these guys then?” Falcon asks while flexing his feathers. The Red Watchman has so little worry about the winged hero that he left Falcon’s winged harness on him.
“They sicken me. The one thing I’ve always desired was a real, flesh and blood body. To experience things as I used to do, before I was turned into a walking machine. These so-called heroes destroy life without a though. I want them stopped!” The Golden Age Fakeman replies.
“Well you’ll get your chance. First thing though, we need to save my friends, the JBH. With their help I bet we could take out the Watchman, once and for all.”
A figure deep in the shadows observes this. He is the Dark Knight. Badly injured but still dangerous, he will not join them in their quest. He figures any heroes are expendable right now and it’s more important for him to stay hidden till he can make his move.
A citadel at the end of time, where the Cowled Crook watches from his throne at the five villains before him.
“So this is the end of time huh?” Speedshark asks.
“Not much too it, really.” Duplicate Death comments.
Horrible Hare adds “Where are the babes? Now that I’m free all I want to do is..”
“Why have you brought us here? What is it you want us to do?” Warblk demands.
“Who are we supposed to kill? And what do we get out of it?” Amoral Guy questions.
The Cowled Criminal simply steeples his hands, eyeing them with the same look a cat would eye a mouse, “I will inform you of your intended prey soon enough. As for what you will receive in return, let’s just say it’s time your little JBV had an.... upgrade of sorts.”
Despair Avenue. That’s the new name for this street, ever since the Watchman put Dr Urvan in charge of Basement 13, the center for psycho programming and behavior-modifying brain surgery.
Now five future victims of that surgery are guarded closely as they head towards their collective fate.
Jackie Rabbit and Kid Produce think about their lost comrade, Phantom Ghostgirl, and weather they will see her again. Pigionman thinks of how he would kill his captives, if he could. Justin Tyme thinks of weather or not it’s too late to recover his Chrono Displacement Device or if he’s in fact stuck in this era. And ManMan thinks of weather Technopolis has any good fast food places since he’s starved. (Hey, they can’t ALL be noble!)
Ten Science Heroes walk around them as they walk the walk. Ten Science Heroes with a variety of powers and skills.
Ten Science Heroes whom have found themselves suddenly incased in ten individual MultiUniversal bubbles.
“What gives?”
“A trick?”
“It’s an ambush!”
Razor sharp wings slice through ManMan’s and Jackie’s chains, then the same happens to their neutralizing collars. Strong metallic fingers rip Pigeonman's and Produce’s collars and chains.
Justin’s is next, “Who are these people?”
“It’s Amazing Guy, Falcon and some metal guy! We’re free!” Jackie enthuses.
“Not for long!” Turbo Phase announces as he phases through his shackles. Seven out of the ten Science Heroes have broken free using their special powers.
“Crud. Ready for some action guys?” AG asks.
“Let’s do it!” Jasper grins.
A colorful eruption of power and skill occurs.
Jackie Rabbit leaps over an elastic Science Hero, taking him out with a few simple moves. Falcon out maneuvers a flying razor shooting foe. Kid Produce overcomes a dark force manipulating foe with his onion bombs and cabbage bowling. ManMan uses Knifie and his super strong hands to shatter the stone body of his opponent. AG cuts off the oxygen of the martial arts lady attacking him. Pigionman simply blows over his Ice wielding Science hero with his mace. Fakeman withstands the super strong blows of the gravity wielder long enough to KO her. Justin watches all of this with wonder, hopeing these heroes will be enough to survive this terrible era in history.
Soon it’s all over. The heroes duck into the shadows for safety.
Batch o’ notes #2
***
****
The Fatal Toilet, a little bar in Parodopolis that, since the untimely demise of Lonnie’s Tavern, has gained a lot more regular customers.
“Stupid Chronic! If he thinks just because he’s my boyfriend he can stand me up, he’s got another thing coming!” Nelly, Chronic’s former/current/on-and-off girlfriend complains out loud as she stomps out.
“What’s wrong with her?” Larry, the owner of the Bowl A Rama asks.
“She’s just pissed. She knows Chronic’s probly busy somewhere, but still she acts jealous.” Kristy, the barmaid responds.
“Hey, has that thud character bugged you today? I know you said he always comes in here to bother you.”
“Nope. I’m enjoying the break. He’s always trying to get me involved in these bands like Mortal Wombat, Frenulum and Dogcatcher For The 21st Century. Drives me nuts.”
“I know what you mean. This guy in a yellow trench coat with a diamond always come into the Alley just to chat. He was even responsible for taking out a wall when all his rowdy friends had a tournament there.” *****
“Heard about that. You’re lucky your Ally didn't get destroyed. Those heroes sure make a lot of mess.”
“Well Kristy, if all goes well, they wont anymore.” Larry says darkly.
Kristy nods with a wicked grin.
“THEY WHAT???” Dr Urvan yelled.
“Madam, they escaped. Both groups of native Science Heroes. We don't know where they are. Mistress, there are three new prisoners on their way though. They are called Messenger, dull thud and De Brown Streak. At least you will have them to experiment on.” ******
“Fool! I don't care about the new ones! I want the missing prisoners! Find them, or I’ll make you cry me a meal to the extent that they will find you dried up!”
The servant runs for his life. ********
Elsewhere, in an ally in the city.
AG: “Ok then. We’re all clear what we’re going to do?”
Jackie: “You bet! Let’s do it!”
Two groups of heroes separate into different directions.
Batch o’ notes #3
*****
****** The people of Technopolis call heroes ‘Science Heroes’.
******* I f orange is Nats’ favorite color, then is oranges his favorite food?
******** The Red Watchman cloned Dr Urvan’s body, engineering her new body with a craving for drinking tears. Yucky huh?
The Technopolis Forensics Center, where scientists try to comprehend their new acquisitions. Outside of the spacious building, Science Heroes, Science Villains and guards roam the streets. The various civilians are either in their homes or dead.
“Now?” Falcon asks.
“Now.” AG replies with knit determination.
A violent discharge of bullets rain through the street. Science Heroes and Villains scatter, pointing to the Hover Transport and the robotic man throwing it at them. Confusion ensues as Amazing Guy, Pigeonman, Fakeman and Falcon cause random chaos.
AG creates a MultiUniversal anvil and smashes it down on three Science Heroes. He glances at four hidden teammates and winks, then creates a MultiUniversal bulldozer and chases some of the opposition away.
“Let’s go!” Jackie whispers.
They sneak in as the guards of the Forensics Center rush out to help in the battle. Soon ManMan, Justin Tyme, Kid Produce and Jackie, acting as team leader, have snuck deep inside the building. Jasper throws special Slumber Radishes out, causing various guards and personnel to drop off to sleep instantly.
They look through the main research doors. All the strange equipment gathered from the various captured heroes and villains are stored here.
“Manny, want to do the honors?” Jackie asks as she finds the deserted lab locked.
“Well, I guess after all the commotion, it doesn't really matter what noise we make now, huh? Ok.” Joe Pepper replies as he rips open the door with his super strong hands.
AAAAEEEEEEGGGGGGOOOOOOOO!!
“AARGH! MY SUPER HEARING!” Jackie screams.
“I THINK I SET OFF THE ALARMS!” ManMan yells.
“YOU THINK?” Jasper replies while joining his comrades in frantically searching the lab.
“That’s just like Joe, always touching without thinking.”
“KNIFIE?”
“Yes Joe, right over here. About time you blokes showed up.” The sentient knife responds while being lifted into Joe’s belt.
“A talking Knife?” Justin wonders.
“He’s ManMan’s partner.” Jackie explains.
“Actually, Joe is MY partner.”
“Knifie, our friend here is looking for his little machine. It has numbers on it, it’s palm sized and it’s black. Have you.. ah.. seen it?” Jackie asks the knife over the alarms.
“Uh Jackie, we’d better get. The guards should be here any minute!” Jasper enthuses.
“If you mean a time traveling devise, it’s over here. Very interesting design.” A woman’s voice speaks up. Everyone jumps. They look around but can’t find the owner of the voice.
“Get ready people! We might have to bolt!" Jackie barks, surprising herself at how quick to lead she is.
“Calm down, calm down. I’m over here. In this computer.”
Jackie looks in closer as Justin grabs his timer. “Seven minutes left! Couldn't have timed that better myself.” Justin comments.
“People, the bad guys are coming! And i think they brought the reserves!” Manny yells.
“I KNOW, I KNOW! Where is a disc to download with?” Jackie panics.
“Here, I know this! It’s a old Technows system! They were used in the early 21st Century after the Technopolis incident. Didn't catch on because...” Justin looks at everyone staring at him, “Ah, yes. Anyway, this box here is a Mother-In-Law-Box. I read about it in history. It’s not from Technopolis, but they have it here anyway. Must’ve pilfered it like the rest of this tech. I’ll down load onto it. There’s an unlimited storage space.”
“Good! Please hurry!” The glowing holographic woman replies.
“Your voice is familiar. You narrate the displays at the New Parodopolis Museum For Legends of Greatness back in my time.”
“I have no clue what you’re talking about. Please hurry!”
Jackie glances at the computer screen, taking a break from her vigil of listening to the oncoming horde of guards, Science Heroes and Science Villains coming up to their level, “I know her. Justin, this is HALLIE, the Lair Legion’s holographic computer lady.”
A rich British voice comes from the same computer. A holographic image of a fancy butler appears, “This harlot is NOT the Lair Legion’s property madam. She now belongs to the League of Regulars. She only sticks her nose into our business through the link between the two systems because she cannot bring her self to trust an expert like myself with her old job.”
“You didn't seem to mind my butting in during that adventure against Balefire, Edwin dear.” HALLIE replies back.
“CUT IT OUT YOU TWO! We need to..” Jackie is interrupted as many of the opposition charge in. Soon ManMan and Kid Produce are up to their necks in the bad guys. “Justin?”
“YES! Got them! Let’s go!” Justin straps the Mother-In-Law-Box on Jackie's arm just before she leaps out of the way of an oncoming force blast.
The computer that was just occupied by HALLIE and Edwin fizzles and winks out.
“What happened?” Justin asks.
HALLIE responds from inside the Mother-In-Law-Box, “I gave our captors a present. I shut down half the general computer grid. We’d better leave, because I don't think it will be down for long!”
“Where do we go? We’re out numbered, out gunned, what do we do? Think Jackie! What would your brother do?” Jackie thinks in panic.
The exterior wall of the entire building is dissolved in MultiUniversal energy as Amazing Guy provides an escape route. Pigionman flies into the fray, his electro mace buzzing.
“About time you guys showed up! Jackie exclaims happily as she bounces out of the exit with Justin hanging on by her arm. He realizes the breakfast he had in the old west might not be sitting too well.
“Hurried as best we could, but there are just too many of them. Falcon and Fakeman led most towards the Behavior Modification Labs. From what the other prisoners said, it’s a sinister brain surgery hospital. Real cold, terrifying place. We thought it would be best to trash it before we leave.” AG explains while knocking down Science Heroes with a Multiversal clown hammer.
KRAAAACAABOOOOM!
Everyone looks towards the other side of the city, “That must be them now.”
In a small, neighborhood, where Yo’s little friend, Cindy Brainy, is watching Rabito, the purple thought bunny twitches, scared it’s not going to see it’s beloved Yo again.
“It’s ok Rabito.” Cindy, the cute seven-year-old girl and sometime playmate for Yo sooths, “Those mean nasty people will be stopped. Yo will be free soon.”
Cindy truly believes this, because her master has told her so. And she ALWAYS believes what her master says.
Falcon flies over the screaming horde. Thousands of Technopolis’ defenders charge him as he carelessly maneuvers away from their clutches. The Behavior Modification Labs have a large hole in the front of the building.
“Face it guys, us Parodyverse heroes have you beat! One more shot from my SPUD issue Feather-Missiles and the whole place will come down!” Falcon brags just before a super strong hand grabs his ankle and smashes him repeatedly into the pavement.
“Take this fool back to the cells. I’m sure the Red Watchman would like to make an example of him.” Steel Enforcer commands.
Little does the lead Science Hero know, Falcon’s teammate has made it all the way into the main power room of the Behavior Modification Lab building.
Fakeman smashes his way into the generator room. The main generator core continues to blase with power.
His robotic body and firm look betrays his human brain and the thoughts therein, “Well it’s now or never. I guess after all these years of wandering, I’ve finally found my fate. If only the other All Stars could see me now.” He runs at top speed, shattering the Thuromite enforced container with his super strong metal body. The free flowing energy melts his body in an instant, frying his human brain.
With his last thought he hopes, “Have I mattered at all?”
The result of the explosion vaporizes ten city blocks. Far more then the heroes had calculated.
Steel Enforcer stands still within the crater, in awe of what has occurred.
Falcon never saw the explosion, as he remained unconscious, on his way to the prison cells, just outside of the ten-block radius.
“Oh my heck! That light!” Amazing Guy shouts as he maintains his Multiversal shield around himself, Jackie, Jasper, Pigionman, ManMan and Justin.
“Uh AG? I think we need to get out of here! The bad guys are really cheezed off now!” Manny notes.
A shimmering effect that looks awfully familiar to Justin appears in the midst of them. Within it two female figures appear. The JBH recognize one of them.
“Tonya?” Jackie asks in surprise.
PhantomGhostGirl grabs Justin in a headlock while explaining, “Sorry guys, I don't have time to explain!”
“Gaack!” Justin gaacks as he drops the timer. His machine counting down the final seconds.
“I’ll take that ‘lover’! Thanks PhantomGhostGirl! Sorry I had to dupe you... not!” Timequestor, the other female and old girlfriend/sworn enemy to Tyme says as she grabs his Chrono Displacement Device. She carelessly drops her copy time travel device to the ground, having found the original. This is the device she has been sent through time to retrieve. After all this time chasing her ex-boyfriend through time she can now finally return home.
As the device causes her to vanish, Justin grabs her machine, “It’s a simple tracing device. It seems to follow her signal. I can’t guess at how long before she gets out of range! The timer is taking her farther in the future!”
Tonya, heroine of the far future and leader of the JBH is no fool. She saw the look on Justin’s face and heard what Carla (Timequestor) said. She hugs Jackie, ruffs up Jasper’s hair and nods to AG, “Guys, she fooled me. I need to make this right.” She puts her arm through Justin’s, “I’m coming too.” Turns to her friends for the last two years, “besides, maybe it’s time I went home.”
In a flash they are gone.
“AG? Guys? Hate to break this tender moment but...” Manny suggests as he eyes the villains approach.
Forcing back a tear, AG opens a Multiversal portal and shifts them to the other side of Earth.
As they go, they realize they may never see Tonya Wazzo again.
Next time, a ManManHunter crossover issue as the Golden Age Pigeonman and Pigeongirl return and the JBH must make.... The Choice!
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- JBH #6, Technowar 2! - ag says read it! It's fun! It continues where two difrent stories left off! And it's not so bad on the eyes! - 01:51 on April 17, 2002
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