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This message Premiere #17: The Big Jailbreak was posted by The Hooded Hood, having discharged his duties in commenting on all the fiction on the board (see comments all the way down) and having located the disc on which his remaining PVB mateiral was written, now presents the next chapter in the ongoing saga of the invasion of the Parodyverse. Shame Premiere's not in it. on Wednesday, May 15, 2002 at 03:42.
Previously in Premiere:
The science state of Technopolis has fallen into the control of the Red Watchman. Taking command of the scientific and metahuman resources of the city the crazed villain has transferred the entire futuristic metropolis to the Parodyverse, leaving behind nuclear chaos and world collapse in his wake.
Technopolis has now lodged metahuman 'peacekeeping' forces in all major US cities and is instituting a program of surgically adding control chips to any local superheroes and villains they can find. Amongst those so chipped is the demon-guitar player Chronic.
Technopolis' last Science Hero, Premiere, has travelled back to his devastated home world with Phase Shift and Windblossom, two surviving metahumans from Red Watchman's massacre of the metropolis' forces of good, and a group of Parodyverse heroes (and Visionary) aboard the SPUD helicarrier. There he intends to recruit forces to counter the Watchman's sinister plans.
Meanwhile, the Lair Legion and others have taken refuge with home villain the Hooded Hood. A combined operation to rescue prisoners from the federal superhuman penitentiary the Safe before they could be converted to the Red Watchman's cause has been interrupted by the appearance of Watchman's main ally Count Armaggadon and a crack force of Technopolis' nastiest criminals. Battle is joined.
The full story can be found in The Premiere Archive
Parodyverse cast are mostly described in Who's Who in the Parodyverse
Now read on...
Premiere #17: The Big Jailbreak
From above came the sound of rending steel and shattering concrete as the Lair Legion engaged Count Armageddon, Technovore, Dreamripper, Yellow Fever, Rimshooter, and Blast Zone in combat to liberate the super-villain penitentiary called the Safe. Down in the cell areas and in the quarters reserved for those supervillains already recruited to the cause of Technopolis, people looked up and wondered at the kinds of forces able to shatter the strongest prison mankind had ever built.
“Never mind what is happening above,” the Hooded Hood told them, strolling through security measures as if they were not there. “I have come to draft you all into my service, for the purpose of retaking Parodiopolis from Technopolitian control, and ultimately to cause the downfall of the person terming himself the Red Watchman.”
Nobody spoke. Nobody moved. Suddenly a hall full of villains felt themselves to be on very dangerous ground.
“Some of you have willingly joined the science villains of Technopolis for the license that gives you to indulge yourselves,” the Hood noted, looking over to where the newly-captured Messenger and spiffy were chained up ready for some serious payback. “I urge you to reconsider your decision before it becomes a significant life choice. Others of you have been implanted with the so-called obedience chips which enslave you to the Science Council. Methodologies have been implemented to overcome that impediment. So now you have to decide which side you wish to be on in the coming conflict.”
“So what’s in it for us if we join with you?” Balefire asked.
“Very little,” the Hooded Hood told him. “I will also insist that all of you return to incarceration at the end of our endeavor, since I have given my word not to profit from this venture.”
“What?” Appendage Man protested. “Then why the hell should we work with you?”
“For me,” the Hood corrected him. “Because otherwise I will be displeased.”
_______________
“This isn’t going well,” Hatman worried as he picked himself from the debris of the Safe command center. “How powerful is this Armageddon guy anyway?”
Fin Fang Foom slashed away at the fever phantoms generated by Yellow Fever and shouldered aside the debris pinning his comrade. “According to Premiere’s briefing, powerful enough that his kaos energy can black out even the Technopolis power grid.”
Dancer bounced beside them, avoiding a dozen flailing tendrils of that eerie green kaos force. “They’re sentient evil probability strands,” she reported precisely, “and right now I’m straining to stop the Count using them to just discorporate us all.”
Sorceress wiped blood from her face and renewed her mental struggle with Dreamripper. “You mean to say you’re neutralising most of his power and he’s still giving us this much trouble?” she worried.
“Don’t fret it, Whit!” CrazySugarFreakBoy! called out as he hurled past dragging Rimshooter behind him so he had something to hit Blast Zone with. “It’s no fun if the bad guys aren’t a bit more powerful than the heroes. No dramatic tension.”
Goldeneyed teleported Nats away from Blast Zone’s latest explosion then let Nats reply with a telekinetic burst that hammered the villain an inch into the reinforced bulkhead. “I could live without dramatic tension,” G-Eyed admitted.
Then the command console shifted and came to life, its high tensile electrical cables snaking round Goldeneyed and Nats until Ziles managed to cut the power. Too late she realised that the ploy had forced her to become visible to Technovore who had been commanding the machinery. The Xnylonian barely had time to gasp before the Technovore had seized command of the dozens of alien devices she had concealed on her circuitry-weave jumpsuit and used them to shock her into unconsciousness beside her two comrades.
“Foul pestilences! Begone so I canst smite the true villains!” Donar shouted at the fever phantoms, rising above them in the growing gale to hurl his enchanted weapon at Count Armageddon himself. The Count’s kaos energies were splashed across the room searing friend and foe alike, but Mjalcolm returned to Donar’s hand without having harmed the villain.
“Tactical assessment,” Hatman shouted to Fin Fang Foom as the dragon loosed his nuclear fire at the Count. “We’ve down Ziles, G-Eyed and Nats, with Dancer and CSFB! just staying in the game by a whisker. They’ve lost Rimshooter and Blast Zone but we haven’t scratched Armageddon yet.”
“That’s not the mission objective,” the Makluan reminded his deputy. “But we can’t hold these bastards much longer. Any word on plan B?”
_______________
“You did it?” Exile said as De Brown Streak delivered the unconscious Chronic to Ziles’ cloaked hovering spaceship.
“Yeah, I got him,” Josh Clement agreed, “But we lost dull thud, spiffy, and Messenger. Not a good trade.”
“And is he…?” ventured Valeria of Carfax.
“Yeah, he’s been obedience chipped,” DBS admitted. “Which was the whole point of DK sending him in there, whatever Chronic might have believed.”
“Can you do it?” Lisette asked Exile. “Can you use your energy control powers to isolate the command frequencies of these chips and jam them?”
Rick Foreman concentrated, leaving behind his regular senses for a world of frequencies and amplitudes, where lines of force made shimmering cobwebs across reality. “Normally this would be one hell of a long shot. But I guess with the Hooded Hood retconning it so I hit on the right channel, then it’s just… incredibly hard and painful…”
_______________
At the battle, the Lair Legion were running out of new ways to be hurt. They had fought powerful villains before, and they had fought teams of enemies; but insanely powerful groups of adversaries who were trained to battle as partners and who had as much experience as the Legion themselves were rare and dangerous.
“They’re weakening, boss-man,” Dreamripper reported as she continued her psionic assault. Only Sorceress’ desperate resistance was holding back the nightmare manipulator even as Dancer was offsetting the worst of Armageddon’s power. CrazySugarFreakBoy! was finally corned by the fever phantoms and only his accelerated constitution was keeping him from dying of the illnesses that now wracked him.
“I’d expected better of the best heroes on the planet,” the Count admitted, lancing his kaos force through his adversaries once again. “More determination to take us down at whatever risk. But this isn’t a battle. It’s more like…” Suddenly realisation came to him, “A holding action!” He turned to Technovore. “Find out what’s happening elsewhere. Now.”
“On it.” The technology-controlling sentience merged with the Safe security systems just as Donar released the full force of his thunderstorm into the machinery.
“Take thy time,” the hemigod shouted.
Count Armageddon pounded a kaos lance right through Donar’s chest. “They’re up to something, keeping us busy. Let’s end this,” he called.
“We got the signal at last,” Hatman advised Fin Fang Foom. “The Hood’s evacuated the prisoners. We can get out of here now.”
“G-Eyed is down,” the dragon pointed out, reeling from another kaos spray, bleeding from a dozen gashes. “We need another way.”
“Aw, no,” Hatman sighed. “If we use that way we’ll never hear the end of it.”
“They wanted to be allies, and they offered. Call in the Sea Monkeys. Fast.”
_______________
The giant brine shrimps looked absurd, but they came in hard and fast, shaking off the particle beams of the science police, tearing into the steel framework of the Safe like children devouring a birthday cake.
“We got your back!” Banjoooo, King of the Sea Monkeys, called urgently to Fin Fang Foom. “Go!”
The big dragon staggered from another searing kaos blast from Count Armageddon. The energies seemed to be building up inside his body, filling him with sick twisted thoughts, sapping his strength and determination. He knew the Legion couldn’t hold out much longer.
“Donar!” he shouted. “Dimensional portal, now. Get us to Ausgard! Hat, cover his back.”
“Verily!” the hemigod of thunder agreed, concentrating to summon the forces necessary to bridge the void between the worlds of science and myth. Hatman donned his Steelers hat and deliberately intercepted a vicious spray from the unstoppable Armageddon. Jay Boaz was shocked to notice the beads of molten metal daubing his chest.
“Lover!” Sorceress gasped, momentarily distracted from her tussle with Dreamripper. That was all the psionic needed to burst through the witch’s mental barriers and douse her with the horrors of her past and future.
From there the cascade of defeat continued. As Whitney Darkness fell Dreamripper turned on Dancer, and without the probability-altering heroine’s counteraction Count Armageddon returned to full power.
The commander of the science villains swung round on the invading Sea Monkeys, loosed his kaos energies, and vaporised most of them in a single spray.
Donar shut out Banjoooo’s agonized howl and accomplished the dimensional portal. It wasn’t easy, the first sign that other villains were arriving, the planebending Dimensionweaver amongst them. Foom engaged Armageddon, taking more shots to his pain-wracked carcass, while Hatman bundled his teammates unceremoniously through the planar rift.
“Banjooooo,” the dragon called to the grieving Sea Monkey King. “Get your people out. I’ll hold them.”
“I’m not leaving you here, man,” Banjooooo shouted back. “I’m steaming this Armageddon guy’s balls!”
“There’s no time to argue,” Foom roared. “Donar can’t hold that portal forever and…”
Then the hemigod was hit from behind by Quake and lost all interest in the battle. The rift collapsed, leaving Banjoooo, Foom, and a fallen Donar surrounded by the most powerful science villains at Technopolis’ disposal.
And the beating began.
This poster posed from 212.159.1.4 when they posted
Message Thread
- Premiere #17: The Big Jailbreak - The Hooded Hood, having discharged his duties in commenting on all the fiction on the board (see comments all the way down) and having located the disc on which his remaining PVB mateiral was written, now presents the next chapter in the ongoing saga of the invasion of the Parodyverse. Shame Premiere's not in it. - 03:42 on May 15, 2002
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