This message Premiere#40: Going In was posted by With this episode this becomes the longest continued story in the history of nthe Parodyverse so far (in terms of chapters, not word count). The Hooded Hood is going to celebrate by reading some other people's stories, but won't be able to respond to them for a little while. on Friday, January 3, 2003 at 19:13.

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Phase Shift and Windblossom, by Dancer

Premiere #40: Going In

With the gray smear of dawn on the eastern horizon behind them, the last free warriors of the Earth flew their stolen grav-wagons low over the American heartlands to the final confrontation in Technopolis’ planetary takeover.
It was a strange, eclectic collection of vehicles, some sleek and new, others battered, patched and old. Some were the chunky green-and-gunmetal weapons platforms of the otherdimensional Sov-Blok. Others were reconditioned Technopolitan grav-fighters, dancing over the magnetic fields of the planet like silver hummingbirds with lethal stings. Amongst them were the remnants of conventional Air Force and a few surviving jets from lost Navy carriers. They all formed up around the unwieldy bulk of the great SPUD helicarrier that lumbered towards the combat like a woken giant. It listed five degrees to port and its shell was blackened and rent but its weapons systems were fully functional. Falcon and the airborne tactics team spiralled around it as it flew, offering a safe air corridor for as long as they could.
On the helicarrier’s command deck Dan Drury stood beneath the hell-red combat lighting and watched the tactical information rolling over cracked videoscreens. Somewhere in the ribbons of wiring spilled from the charred consoles, Al B Harper, NTU150, and Hacker 9 struggled to maintain damaged systems, inventing and reinventing ways of keeping the helicarrier in the air.
Behind Drury the heroes of the Parodyverse were assembled. Fin Fang Foom, Dark Knight, spiffy, Visionary, and Goldeneyed huddled round the tactics table, their grim faces uplit by the illuminated screen that showed the Technopolitian fleet only minutes outside Parodiopolis air space. Cheryl and Xanadelle huddled by the intelligence consoles where Natalia Romanza pulled up the latest information about the last gasp attempt to resist the Red Watchman. Already the casualties were mounting. Donar glared out of the windows looking westward to the coming battle and stroked Mjalcolm. Exile and ManMan slouched in a bay reading magazines. CrazySugarFreakBoy! was squatted on his haunches looking up at Premiere and chattering without ceasing, until the last science hero politely excused himself to go and speak with Dancer.

___________________________________


Sorceress found Hatman in the locker room girding on SPUD-issue combat armor. “So you’re really going in with us?” she asked sadly.
“Did you ever think otherwise?” Jay Boaz demanded. “I might have burned out my powers for a while, but I’m still in the LL. And I’m not letting you go in there alone again, Whit.” His voice has a rough edge to it that made his lover wince.
“I didn’t refuse to marry you because I blame you for leaving me to be captured,” she explained again. “Or because I don’t love you. Even though us Darkness women aren’t real big on marriages, for… cultural and historical reasons. But I do know better than to get hitched as a reaction to a crisis, or out of guilt because of what happened.”
Jay sighed. “I know,” he admitted, buckling the energy-oblative chestpiece tighter. “But if I can’t live with you I’m sure as hell going to die with you.”

___________________________________


Below, in the hangar deck, Nats was finishing off the pre-flight checks on Aunt Sally, his semi-sentient skycycle. “Sure, time travel’s no problem… if she’s in the right mood,” he was telling Chronic, Trickshot, De Brown Streak, and dull thud.
“So we could just go back in time and stop all this from happening,” DBS suggested.
“Er, no,” Nats admitted. “You see, when you try doing that there’s these sort of cosmic forces that sort of come and step on you and put it all back, except for you being squished. There’s a guy called Tyme who can explain it to you… um, if he hasn’t been squished by now.”
The conversation was interrupted when Yo led Phase Shift across the crowded hangar to join them. “Please to be excusing, Yo-friends,” the pure thought being told them, “but is to be time that cute Phase Shift and cute Nats to be beating each other to be pulps.”
“Er, what?” Nats asked, just before Phase Shift hit him.

___________________________________


Kareen O’Connell was in the medical bay with Lisette and Valeria preparing the emergency bays for the incoming wounded. The facilities seemed small and inadequate for the expected casualties. Ziles arrived with more equipment and emergency dressings. “This is the last of them,” the Xnylonian warned. “We’re about at the end of the supplies.”
“I suppose we’ll just have to make do. Again,” Windblossom answered. “I’m accelerating the growth of penicillin cultures and some other natural phamacologicals, but…”
“Just do you best,” Ziles shrugged. “I think it shows great dedication, you being here while they’re fighting on the hangar deck.”
“Huh? Who?” For a moment Kareen’s stomach tightened at the thought that the Technopolitans were already here.
“Phase Shift and Nats. Over you. You didn’t know?”
But Windblossom has already raced from the infirmary. Valeria and Lisette exchanged glances. Ziles reached into her costume for a pin-sized transmitter. “She’s on her way, Yo,” she reported.

___________________________________


Up on the observation balcony Dancer noted that Premiere seemed distracted.
“Sorry,” he told her. “One of the prices of having Level 8 senses. I was just overhearing a fascinating little conversation down on the hangar deck.” Then, because he always spoke the truth, he added, “but mainly I was trying to avoid having to have this talk with you.”
“I know the talk,” Sarah admitted. “I’m a great girl, and you’ll always remember me fondly, and we had some good times together. But…”
Victor Brooke took her in his arms. “But you don’t realize how great, or how fond I am of you, or how good you were for me. Don’t think this was some casual fling. Don’t… Sarah, if I wasn’t already committed to Xanadelle, if I didn’t have obligations and duties, I would be a happy man living and dying in your arms. You are a wonderful, beautiful, woman, and we might have been very happy together.”
“But we’re not going to be, are we?” Sarah answered, closing her eyes to hold in the tears.
On the command deck Xanadelle flicked off the monitor channel with a self-satisfied little smirk.

___________________________________


In the hangar Windblossom burst past the little ring of spectators and demanded to know what Nats and Phase Shift thought they were doing.
“They are to be fighting over which of them is to be having you,” Yo explained gravely.
“What?” Kareen scowled, glaring at the combatants.
“We are?” Nats gasped, wiping the blood from his mouth.
“Well…” admitted Martin Hernandez sheepishly. “I knew it was stupid, that I couldn’t really win you from a hero like Nats, but what else could I do?”
“Flowers, chocolates…” suggested De Brown Streak.
“Nah. Keep hitting him,” suggested Chronic.
“Is well known that cute girl always falls in love with one who win fight to have her, yes?” Yo asked disingenuously.
“No,” objected Windblossom. “I’m not some prize in a boxing match! How could you two be so… oooh!”
“You think I’m a big hero?” Nats checked with Phase Shift.
“He’s from out of town,” Trickshot snickered.
“Listen to me, you two,” Kareen said forcefully. “Martin, you’re an idiot. Nats is a great friend but that’s all. He’s helped me and comforted me as I sighed and worried over you. Prime architect knows why I ever bothered!”
“Is perhaps… because you are to be loving him?” Yo ventured.
“Yes,” snapped Windblossom, glaring again at Phase Shift. “Now get out of my sight!”
“You love him,” Nats swallowed with a strange little pang in his stomach, but Windblossom had already stalked off the hangar deck.
“She loves me?” Phase Shift repeated, feeling his bruised jaw.
“She loves you,” Yo agreed, smiling happily. It had been a good plan.

___________________________________


In the secondary engine core Amazing Guy knew about the problem even before the alarms has gone off. He sheathed himself in energy and dived into the inferno so quickly that he was able to retrieve Messenger before the flames had reached the stunned postman. Damage control responded quickly and soon the SPUD technicians, Exile, and Goldeneyed were dousing the blazes. Then the Manga Shoggoth simply oozed over the area, smothering the peripheral fires.
Messenger dragged himself back to consciousness and sat up. “Thanks, I suppose,” he said groggily.
“What were you trying to do in there?” AG demanded. “The energy build-ups were phenomenal.”
“Nothing,” the dour vigilante answered.
“No, that’s what you achieved,” the Dark Knight argued, gliding from the shadows. “He was trying to summon the power of the Parody Master, to become the Parody Master for the coming fight. A dangerous gambit.”
“We need an edge,” Messenger argued. “I had to try.”
“The powers won’t allow it,” DK advised him. “This is a critical juncture. The Chronicler, the Shaper, all the rest, they can’t interfere now. In fact their job is to make sure nobody interferes. They’ve already blocked that Woopsa, and the Ausgardians, and the Mindless Ones. The Librarian that assisted Visionary and company is in deep trouble too. They’re not going to allow an incarnation of the Parody Master to interfere, especially not with you as his host.”
“Damn.”
Suddenly the speakers crackled into life. “This is Drury. We got incomin’. The Technopolitan reserves are out for blood. Engagement in two minutes. Battle stations.”
Personal affairs were forgotten as the Lair Legion and their allies scrambled to their places. The first barrage of Technopolitan missiles burst on the edge of the helicarrier’s air screen, rocking the vessel like a toy boat on the sea.
And the last battle began.

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