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This message Premiere #42: Heroes and Villains was posted by Twenty-one heroes vs twenty-three villains for all the marbles in a fight to the finish by... the Hooded Hood on Wednesday, January 15, 2003 at 18:37.
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Premiere #42: Heroes and Villains
The Science Villains went in smart and hard.
The old dimension-hopping London Transport bus that the Lair Legion had used to infiltrate the Science Council building exploded in a burst of superheated plasma from Flashfry. The invaders were scattered as molten shards of metal sprayed amongst them. Blast Zone focussed his abilities to cause remote detonations upon the eyes of Fin Fang Foom, sending the blinded four hundred foot dragon reeling back onto the buildings behind him. Quake flew straight for his old adversary Donar, hurling them both to the ground in a tangle of sweating limbs and blood oaths. Moodswing simply turned his empathic manipulation abilities upon the enemy, projecting terror, despair, and regret. Almost all the assault team that was seeking to get to the Paradopolis Command Centre reeled under the pervasive psionic assualt.
Somehow Dancer avoided all the various attacks, vaulted impossibly high over the burning wreckage, and planted her feet in Moodswing’s face. spiffy absorbed the energy from the blazes around him and channeled it to scatter Cheezewire, Detonator, and Pain Hook. Goldeneyed teleported Ziles close to drop her on Rimshooter before tackling Random Access himself.
Brokenface hurled himself towards the powerless Hatman, his ruined countenance twisting and swelling as his massive jaws opened. Jay Boaz calmly leveled his Technopolitan Mark IV Shatterrifle and fired at point blank range.
Dimensionweaver moved then, twisting knots in local reality, sending the invaders scattered across the combat zone. They appeared upside down in localized pockets of gravity, separated, disoriented, and vulnerable. “Wheeee!” cried CrazySugarFreakBoy! as he rode out the wild ride, bounced off a wall, and rendered her unconscious with his YoYo.
Dreamripper seized the wired wonder’s mind and dragged it into nightmare. Sorceress snarled as she sensed what was happening and concentrated her arcane energies on the psionic assassin. Night Terror loomed up behind her, its countless bloodsucking tentacles reaching for her tender flesh.
“Uh uh, that’s my job!” De Brown Streak called, knotting Night Terror’s appendages at speeds so fast that he actually finished before the metabolic poisons on them infected him and he toppled over.
Biohazard laughed and loosed flesh-eating bacteria that would destroy friend and foe alike in a matter of seconds. Amazing Guy spotted him just in time and surrounded him with an energy bubble. Biohazard mouthed something obscene through the glowing sphere so Scott Brunsen squeezed the bubble tight until the villain passed out.
That was just before Pain Hook exploded every nerve ending in AG’s body.
The frontage of the Science Council building collapsed under the combined forces working on it, toppling steel and plascrete down onto the deserted plaza below.
NTU-150 concentrated his fire onto Flashfry, bringing the flame wielder down with concentrated electrical pulses. Before he could acquire a new target Razorbarb’s psionic strands had slashed his armor to ribbons and Jamie Bautista toppled bloodily to the floor.
Trickshot put a quite mundane arrow right through Fleshcrawler’s throat.
Genetwist was facing dull thud and Cressida. The psionic tapeworm was holding off the cellular manipulations with some difficulty, but it was long enough for thud to headbutt the enemy. Yo leapt overhead in a complicated athletic maneuver, rapier in hand as s/he avoided the detonating needles of Spinoid.
Phase Shift found himself up against Cheesewire. The flailing stands of high-voltage metal passed right through him and his nervousness just seemed to evaporate, Suddenly he knew what he was doing and why he was here. He reached into Cheezewire’s chest, solidified his hand around the villain’s heart, and squeezed.
Night Terror oozed free of its confinement and turned again to see what it could hurt. Quake was pounding Donar and shouting something that couldn’t be heard over the general combat. It considered joining in, because it had never killed a god before, but then it noticed that Moodswing had recovered while Dancer was fending off Spinoid. The psionic mood-controller had Sorceress, Hatman, spiffy, and dull thud squirming with grief. Night Terror oozed over to rip their heads off.
Messenger fell neatly in front of him and sliced off half a dozen black cilia with a razor letter. “Let’s dance.”
Ziles had finally taken down Rimshooter and was feeling pretty good about it until Ultraninja caught her from behind and raked her back with his steel gauntlets. She staggered, rolled forwards, and came up in a defensive position. Ziles was good at acrobatic unarmed combat. Ultraninja was better. She fell back, her silver bodysuit slashed in half a dozen places as the cyborg stealth warrior pressed her towards a corner where he could finish her off. He had proved resistant to her whole arsenal of psychoreactive weapons and she was hurt and tired.
CrazySugarFreakBoy! blurred over the battle and planted a boot in Ultraninja’s face. “I thought you might need a hand,” he called to the bleeding Ziles. “Or maybe a foot…” Then he noticed the samurai blade sticking through his chest. “Oh,” he said before falling to the ground.
The Manga Shoggoth rolled inexorably towards them over Blast Zone, ignoring the explosions around it, humming a happy tune.
Dark Knight grabbed Visionary and dragged him from the combat. “This way!” he shouted. “We’re heading for the White Room.”
“What about the Legion?” gasped Visionary. “They’re falling.”
“That’s their job,” DK noted coldly. “Lead the way, Xanadelle.”
Random Access dropped Goldeneyed’s unconscious body and saw that the battle was still in the balance. He concentrated, using his ability to cause temporary connections between objects, energy sources, places, concepts. He laughed as conduits exploded, as arcs of energy bounced across the room, as Earth’s defenders found themselves falling to void or lava or into realms of the mind alone.
All attempts at co-ordination failed then. Combat became a disorganized series of survival tactics while Random Access laughed at the heroes’ attempts to save themselves. Trickshot’s maneuver to take the villain down with archery ended as Brokenface dropped a wall on the annoying archer. Yo intervened to stop Ultraninja executing CSFB! and Ziles, defeating the oriental martial artist with a world-class show of Western-style boxing. Dancer faced off against Razorbarb, nimbly avoiding the molecular strands that could slice her to ribbons and bringing him down with an elbow to the windpipe.
Then Pain Hook took down Phase Shift, and Dancer, and Yo in rapid succession. Exile dropped Pain Hook with a shot from behind before he in turn fell to a chunk of debris to the head hurled by Quake. That momentary lapse for cruelty gave Donar the opportunity he needed to lay Quake out with an upwards swing of his enchanted baseball bat into the future-villain’s genitalia.
Detonator’s attack drones bracketed dull thud, too many to avoid or transmute. thud used his ability to teleport straight upwards, but Detonator had read his file and was ready for him. As thud crumpled to the ground Detonator set his drones to kill; but suddenly a huge draconic foot came down on him with a lethal crunch. Foom may not have been able to see just then but dragons have good smell and hearing.
Messenger crammed the last of his parcel bombs down Night Terror’s throat and leaped away as the creature erupted from within. Before he could celebrate his victory the Dreamripper got her claws into his brain and found so much to dredge up there. That went so well she turned her next psionic probing upon the glutinous Manga Shoggoth. She screamed once and went catatonic.
Random Access concentrated his own abilities on the elder creature. The Shoggoth had too many angles and dimensions, but that made him easy meat for Random Access’ powers. The Shoggoth made a belching sound, twisted, then exploded into millions of jelly gobbets across the city.
spiffy and the Fleshcrawler (still with Trickshot’s arrow through his throat) were wrapped in a knot of vegetable tendrils as the science villain tried to break through Mark Hopkins’ force field and exert his powers on the hero’s epidermis. Having met a similar foe before, spiffy was trying to resist that.
Mjalcolm impacted on the left side of Random Access’ head and exited through the right side. Brokenface thundered into the thunder god and sent him flying before the weapon could return to him. His steel jaws closed around the hemigod’s neck and he sought to sever it.
Moodswing turned his abilities on Fin Fang Foom. “Panic!” he commanded.
That allowed Foom to know where to breathed his nuclear fire. Moodswing ran backwards, burning, screaming, until Foom mercifully collapsed a ceiling on him.
The main underground power conduit erupted then, plowing up the plaza and sending massive blocks of paving high over the combat zone.
There was a lull as comes on my battlefields before the final press. Finny staggered unstably, still blind, trying to find where Donar’s muffled shouts were coming from. Hatman and Sorceress dragged themselves painfully from their horror experiences and between them brought down Brokenface so that the hemigod could wrench himself free. spiffy dragged himself from his melee with Fleshcrawler, weary, bloody, but triumphant.
Yellow Fever giggled and entered the fray. He released his Fever Dream avatars to burn down onto the battlefield at last. The glowing skeletal forms seared through Donar and Finny with necromantic energies that would have transformed lesser beings into more Fever Dreams. It brought both heroes to their knees, seared and tormented. A few more moments would see them fall.
Sorceress turned her face towards Fever Dream. It screwed into a cold, hard mask as she uttered words in an ancient language that chilled the room to speak them. Hatman felt the hairs on his neck rising. A dark shadow passed over the battlefield, and when the Sorceress crumpled into Jay’s arms Yellow Fever and the Fever Dreams were gone.
spiffy blinked about him. Finny, Donar, Messenger and Goldeneyed were gradually dragging themselves to their feet, but the rest of the army of heroes were broken on the ground.
“We… did it?” he gasped. “We won?”
“We won round one,” Finny growled hoarsely. “Now for phase two.”
Xanadelle reappeared at the wrecked doorway to the Command Center’s interior. “Well done,” she congratulated them. “I didn’t think anybody could defeat those Science Villains.”
“Never mind that,” blinked the wounded dragon. “Did DK get through to Zalas and the Science Council to stop the attack on Parodiopolis and Gothametropolis?”
“I’m afraid not,” Xanadelle told him. “He was betrayed.”
Messenger looked up sharply. “Betrayed?”
“Like this.” The Sov-Blok agent snapped her fingers and the rest of the heroes crumpled to the ground helplessly.
The Red Watchman appeared behind her. “Very good, my dear,” he murmured. “My, this is going to be fun.”
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- Premiere #42: Heroes and Villains - Twenty-one heroes vs twenty-three villains for all the marbles in a fight to the finish by... the Hooded Hood - 18:37 on January 15, 2003
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